Chapter 34
Aspen
"They have him," Casper says from the computer station. "Aspen, they have him!"
I stood from the couch the second we heard that Eli was within the vicinity of a bomb. I didn't even know that Damien had such skills or extensive uses of such weapons.
"What?" I ask, unsure if I heard him right.
My hand is hovering over the handgun on the kitchen counter.
"ETA is less than five minutes," Casper says before nodding to something he hears in his headset. "I'll have EMTs en route."
"He's safe," Max assures me, his eyes going from me to the gun on the counter. "Aspen, acknowledge that you heard me."
"He's safe."
"Damien is dead."
"Damien is dead," I repeat, but it doesn't register until the words play back in my mind in an echo. "Damien is dead?"
"We can show you the video," Max says as he slowly inches toward me, as if he thinks I could lose my shit at any moment.
"Eli is safe?"
"I don't know that you'll be able to pry him out of Jericho's hands, but yes, sweetheart. Eli is safe."
I pull my hand back, clamping my hands together and lifting them to my lips as a sob bubbles out of my throat.
As if he could predict how I'd respond, Max is right there, catching me before I fall to my knees.
I know what he's saying is true, but I don't think I can fully accept the good news until my son is in my arms. I hope Eli doesn't mind, but I don't know if I'll ever be able to let him go after this. He'll feel smothered before his eighth birthday.
"ETA two minutes," Casper says from the other room.
"I'm going to take you to the sofa, Aspen. Jericho is riding a high right now, and I don't want to get shot if he comes through the door and sees you in my arms."
I chuckle through a sob because that seems utterly ridiculous, but just as he said, he gets me to the sofa and he backs away, holding his arms up as if apologizing for touching me in the first place.
"Thank—" I begin but the front door opens so quickly, that it smacks against the wall.
Nolan's eyes lock on me, but all I can see is the scared little boy in his arms.
He's in front of me the second I stand, but my knees are too weak to hold my weight.
As Max said, he doesn't release Eli. We balance him between us, sobs racking both our bodies.
"Momma?" Eli asks when I pull back and hold his sweet little face between both my hands.
The look on his face is heartbreaking. It's almost as if he doesn't recognize me. We always go through this weird period of him not really knowing me when we get to see each other. He's so young, and his memories aren't completely formed. I know that was just one more way for Damien to hurt us. It breaks my heart for him to look at me like he would any other stranger.
I sweep hair off his forehead, circling my finger there, something I've always done. But when that doesn't seem to work, I begin to hum the song I always sing to him before bedtime. He softens some, but not fully, and I can't really get upset at him for the damage Damien has caused. But that doesn't stop it from breaking my already shattered heart a little more.
"Momma?"
In the next breath, Eli is scrambling away from Nolan and climbing into my arms.
I hold him as tight as I think I can without breaking bones, and I can feel just how small and fragile he really is. I want to grill him about what has happened. When was the last time he ate? Is he hungry now? What did Damien do to him? Has anyone hurt him?
"We need to get him to the hospital," Nolan says.
"Casper has ordered medics," I tell him, but walk toward the door when he guides me in that direction.
"I don't trust anyone right now, Peach."
I watch as Casper dips his head in understanding, rather than being upset that his efforts go unwelcomed.
I'm urged toward an idling SUV, and I'm grateful he stopped here first rather than making me wait even longer.
"Are you hurt anywhere, Toadstool?"
"Toadstool?" Nolan asks as he opens the door and pulls a seat belt across the two of us.
I look the man in the eyes. "That was Princess Peach's original name."
Nolan presses his head against mine before pulling back and pressing a kiss to the top of Eli's head.
I don't take my eyes off my son as Nolan walks around the SUV and climbs into the back passenger seat beside us.
It doesn't feel real. The last several days without Eli, not knowing if he was safe, have been brutal. I know the crash is coming and it's going to knock me on my ass, but this child is my only concern right now.
His slow breathing as Hemlock drives us out of the neighborhood we were in tells me that he feels safe enough to fall asleep, and only then do I look over at Nolan.
"Does he have any injuries?" I ask.
He points to his face. "He has a bruise on his cheek. He hasn't complained of pain or anything, but I want to get him checked out anyway."
"Of course," I tell him. "Damien's dead."
He doesn't smile. There's no jovial celebration, only the flat line of his lips. "Dead."
I don't feel anything that a normal wife would feel at hearing that her spouse is dead. If anything, I feel that hint of joy. Knowing that he can't hurt or terrorize us anymore brings with it a relief as big as the one I felt when Nolan walked into the house with Eli in his arms.
The drive to the hospital somehow seems to take forever but yet is over in a flash.
"What's going on?" I ask when I look out the window and see a lot of the men who worked with Nolan today standing just outside the emergency department at St. Vincent's.
"They're family," Hemlock says.
"You have a big family," I whisper.
"We have a big family," Nolan corrects.
I even spot Nyx, the man who was in my face yelling that I was lying and implying that I'd protect Damien over the safety of my son, standing there.
"He deactivated the device that was strapped to Eli," Nolan whispers when he notices where my eyes have landed.
I'm not going to be best friends with the guy but knowing that makes it impossible to hold on to the hatred I had felt for him before.
"Wait for me," Nolan says when we pull up to the non-emergency entrance.
When he opens my door, I attempt to climb out of the SUV holding Eli, but just can't manage it. I feel a great loss when Nolan reaches in and easily plucks him up, cradling him to his chest like the precious thing that he is.
I press my palm to Eli's back, taking a moment to count a few breaths before feeling as if I can step away for just a few seconds. Instead of holding a grudge or staying angry, I walk toward Nyx with tears streaming down my cheeks. I don't have enough words in my vocabulary to express my gratitude, so I don't even try.
Instead, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. He stiffens at first, but then I feel his hand pat me twice on the back. He seems like an incredibly hard man, someone who has likely suffered more than most can imagine, and I know his reaction to what happened earlier was a result of that trauma.
"Thank you," I whisper as I take a step back.
He releases me immediately, and although I don't get a smile, he dips his head in my direction. I squeeze his hand before walking back toward Nolan.
As far as I know, no one asked these men to be here, but I smile at each and every one, whispers of "thank you" on my lips as I pass by them.
I don't know if the hospital just isn't busy, or if someone here managed to pull some strings, but the wait in the small triage room is less than ten minutes.
We sit in silence as the doctor does a full body check-up on Eli. I don't get the feeling that he is judging either of us, but he also doesn't ask many questions. It's as if he knows there is nothing we could answer. He is also respectful enough not to ask Eli many questions other than if he has pain anywhere.
Nolan stays with Eli in the examination room when the doctor is done so I can step out and speak with him.
"He's mildly malnourished. I'd focus on getting wholesome foods in him, although calories from his favorite snacks aren't the end of the world," the doctor says as he looks over my shoulder, as if concerned for the next set of words that will come out of his mouth. "He's been through some trauma, and I think a lot of that is mental and emotional. I can't stress enough how important it's going to be to get him set up with a qualified professional. He can come out of this unscathed, but it's going to take him a while to work through all that stuff. This isn't something that can just be ignored. It will manifest in his behaviors, in the way he interacts with others. If gone unchecked, it will cause him problems as an adult."
"I'll see that he gets a counselor immediately," I tell him, although I don't know how to make that happen.
There are a lot of questions in my life right now, but as soon as we leave here, I won't waste a second getting answers. I don't feel the need to be silent and worry about consequences when I open my mouth around Nolan. I have no clue what the future holds, but I know it isn't a cycle of abuse and physical pain.