Chapter 37
Jericho
Eli was incredibly timid when he came into the living room, but I think Hemlock picking a female therapist with everything he has been through was the best choice. Eli has warmed up a little, and it's so strange to watch Caitlyn with him. She isn't sitting on the couch asking him a million questions. She's right beside him on the floor, and it's as if they have a playdate together. It doesn't resemble anything I thought it would, but after her explanation, I can see what she means about therapy.
We now know that his favorite color is green. He loves trains, and he would rather play with magnetic blocks to build stuff than action figures with weapons.
Every new thing that is introduced to him is met with uncertainty, and I swear I want to kill Damien all over again. If I could track down whomever it was that was keeping Eli, I'd skin them from the tops of their heads to the slopes of their feet for the harm they've caused my son.
I hold my breath when Eli is handed a train that doesn't have a rolling wheel. He looks at the thing with narrowed eyes, but he doesn't focus on it for very long. When he's handed a train that has a button you can push that makes it emit a really loud noise, he puts it to the side.
Caitlyn gathers it and places it back in front of him, laughing when she presses the button and it makes the sound.
He keeps his eyes locked on her when he presses the button for the first time, gauging her reaction, as if he thinks he might get into trouble for making noise. She laughs again when he does it, and then quickly moves on. Eli then uses the button to make the noise and even makes the sound with his own mouth for several of the other trains he has been provided.
Caitlyn looks up at us frequently, as if to let us know that things are going well. I never realized just how much you can learn about a child by watching them play. He was afraid to make noise, but she let him know that noise was okay.
I know this is the first of many appointments he'll have with her, so I'm glad he seems to like her.
Eli doesn't look up when Hemlock walks around the outer edge of the room to get to the kitchen, but I see how he stiffens and the way his eyes dart to the side as if he has to prepare himself for something bad. I hate the way his little shoulders tense up with fear.
"Did I hear a train whistle?" Hemlock asks as he inches closer.
Eli sits up fully, his eyes darting between all of us in the room.
"I found this upstairs. It's not a train but listen," Hemlock says, pressing a button on the top of the car, smiling when it makes an engine revving noise.
Hemlock inches forward, passing the toy car to Eli. The child looks up at Hemlock and bravely presses the button on the top of the car, a wide smile spreading his entire face.
"It shakes in my hand," he says.
"That is a great car," Hemlock says, pointing to the toy in Eli's hands. "You can play with it if you want."
I watch, realizing this was one of Caitlyn's tests when she dips her head at Hemlock. The man smiles as if he is worried he is being graded as well.
"Thank you, Mr. Hemlock," Eli says.
"You're welcome," my boss says to him, a softness in his eyes I usually only see when he's looking at Zara.
"Hey," Zara says when she comes into the room from the kitchen. "I was checking to see if anyone was hungry?"
Eli's eyes open fully, and I realize he went straight to his room yesterday evening and went to sleep instead of eating. He had some peanut butter crackers and apple juice after we left the hospital but nothing else. The child has to be starving by now.
"Eli? Are you hungry?" Zara asks.
Eli once again looks back at Aspen for assurance. When she smiles at him, he pops up from the floor, the car Hemlock gave him clutched in his hand. He makes it halfway to Zara before realizing he still has it, and then sadness darkens his eyes as he turns to hand it back to Hemlock.
"You keep it safe for me?"
Eli smiles, dipping his head as if he's been given the greatest gift ever.
"Can I have some of the red food?" Eli asks as he inches closer to Zara.
"We'll have to see what red food we have, but you can have any that you want," Zara says, looking over her shoulder to wink at Hemlock before leaving the room.
Once they leave, we all turn back to Caitlyn who is now sitting on the sofa, typing notes into her tablet.
"How was that?" Hemlock asks, verifying my earlier assumption about him entering the room being a setup.
"Perfect," Caitlyn says with a smile. "Eli is a great kid. It's clear he's afraid to be noticed. He doesn't trust easily, and he's even more standoffish around men."
"So he's been abused?" Aspen asks, her voice betraying the tears she's trying to hold back.
Caitlyn shakes her head. "Not necessarily. The obvious bruise on his cheek means he suffered something. Getting hurt while playing isn't unheard of, but I don't know how he was treated afterward. He could be more resistant to men because the ones who controlled him were men. He could've been yelled at rather than physically hurt, which poses its own set of problems. We'll work through all of it. I have no doubt that he'll make a full recovery and will be a well-adjusted child, but it'll take time. The one thing I urge you to do more than anything else is to be consistent. You still have to parent him. Eventually, he'll be brave enough to push boundaries just to make sure they're in place. Kids thrive on structure and rules. It's okay if he plays with trains and cars that make noise during the day, but if he gets out of bed in the middle of the night, it's not okay for him to play with things that make a lot of noise then. That sort of thing. Explaining why the rules are in place, something like, people are sleeping, so we need to respect their time , is perfect."
I nod in understanding as she speaks, grateful she's explaining all this to us because I feel like a fish out of water. My interaction with children is so limited, and it's left me feeling a little helpless.
"He needs to be heard. I urge you to be present when you're around him. No phones, and limited interruptions, especially for these first crucial weeks. In saying that, he also needs to know that although he's important in your lives, that you have other responsibilities as well. We'll work through scenarios like that as we progress. He has to be put in situations or observe situations so he knows what's expected of him and others," she continues. "There will also come a time when he's going to need to be around other kids. I don't know if you noticed my gentle prodding, but in opposition to what I was told, I don't think he's been around other children."
"I noticed that," Aspen says in a whisper, but she doesn't go into detail about the assumptions we were working under with the living quarters we found in Hartford.
"All in due time," Caitlyn says with a smile. "I'll be back in a couple of days for another session with him."
"I'll walk you out," Hemlock offers, giving me a moment alone with Aspen.
She hisses a huge breath once we're alone, and I hate the way she seems more stressed now than relieved, as she runs her hands over her head before going back to gather the toys that were left behind.
"She suggested he stay around others," I blurt rather than overthinking where my head is taking me. "I want you two to stay here. I think it's best if—"
"Okay," she answers without hesitation. "We'll stay."
I blink at her because I was certain I was going to have to list all the reasons it made sense for them to be here rather than leaving.
"You'll stay?"
She shrugs as she puts the noise-making train into the bag Caitlyn brought with her.
Hemlock walks back into the room, looking at the both of us, and I can see the war in his eyes before he speaks.
"I know this place probably isn't ideal," Hemlock says, lifting his arms to indicate the massive house. "But I want to strongly urge you to keep Eli here."
I don't know whether I should be grateful he wants the same thing as me or annoyed that he thinks he needs to step in and dictate what Aspen does with our son. Maybe I stepped out of line by assuming it would be okay to move them in here without asking, but they prepped a room for him before we even got back.
"He's safe. He'll be cared for. There are lots of folks here who can help," he continues speaking to Aspen. "Families need to stay together, and you have your own shit to work through, no offense."
"None taken," she says as she puts the last toy into the bag and stands.
She doesn't even argue with his insistence on families staying together, but I can't discount the fact that she might very well be waiting to reject that notion when we're alone.
"Thank you for letting us stay," she says. “I’ll never forget your generosity and kindness.”
I almost laugh when I see tension physically leave his body, as if he was prepared to argue with her and put his foot down if she didn't agree.
I'm grateful for this man and his willingness to fight for them.