Chapter 2
Charles
Stubborn, wind-swept Jess was a sight to behold. Snow dusted her platinum hair, and her cheeks were pink from the cold, her anger, or both. She was just as beautiful as I remembered, and seeing that fire in her eyes eased something inside me. Charlotte, Jess’s grandma, always assured me I would get another chance with her.
“Oh, Charles,” Charlotte had said over cookies just two days after Jess had broken up with me and I had gone over there looking for Jess and hoping for answers. She wasn’t there, but her grandma let me in and fed me some homemade cookies. “I promise you she doesn’t hate you. She’s just going through some things.”
“What things?” I pleaded with Charlotte to tell me. “What is she going through? She shouldn’t be going through it alone, whatever it is.”
“That’s not my place to tell,” she said as she put the cookies in front of me. They were some kind of buttery sugar cookie. She had served them to me before, but I couldn’t eat them now. Jess was hurting, and I couldn’t help her. “I’m sorry.” She patted my hand like that made anything better.
“Can you at least tell me — tell me if there is someone else?” My voice broke, and I wasn’t ashamed of it. I may be an adult now, but everything felt broken, and Charlotte had always been so nice.
She laughed, and I just furrowed my brows. This wasn’t a laughing matter. “There isn’t anyone else. I’ve seen you two together. Do you really think there could be anyone else?”
“I didn’t think she would break up with me like this, and yet here we are. Anything is possible now.” I slumped in my chair at the small table she had in the kitchen. I just couldn’t believe it. She was gone.
“I know, son. You love her. I’ll do what I can to help her, and you’re always welcome here. If there is anything I can do to help you two, I will,” Charlotte promised me. It wasn’t enough, but I didn’t think I would get anything else.
“I leave in three days,” I said. “You don’t have to give her any letters, but I’ll still write her. I don’t want to hurt her more, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her.”
“I hope you don’t. Lord knows she needs all the love she can get. I’ll keep your letters, but I know she won’t want to see them. Not now, anyway.” She took a sip of her sweet tea. It was always too sweet for me to enjoy and my glass sat untouched. She sat calmly across from me while I thought, trying to decide if I really trusted her with this.
“If she — if she moves on with someone new, tell me and I’ll stop writing,” I said, giving her an out to her agreement. It didn’t matter what anyone said, this wasn’t just puppy love. I knew what I wanted in life and that was Jess.
“I will let you know.” That was the last thing she said to me that day and she kept to her promise. Looking back, it was probably unethical that Charlotte gave me so much information about Jess, but I craved it. I tried to get over her. I tried dating. It never worked out. No one was Jess. No one could compare.
Now here she was, standing in front of me. All fire and determination and my heart beat out of my chest at the sight. Ten years of hoping and waiting, and here we were. A smile spread across my face and I tried to stamp it down. Charlotte had told me just before she passed she had made a plan. Now I just needed to let that plan play out. I wanted too badly to spill it all to Jess, my love for her, my longing for all these years, my conspiring with Charlotte, all of it. I wanted her to know how much I’ve always wanted her, but we haven’t seen each other in a decade and I didn’t know how she really felt. We needed to do this right. She needed time to figure some things out for herself. I knew how she thought and just how much she tended to over think. I knew she needed time for that, but I wasn’t going to give her space. Not anymore.
We had to share a bed. There was no getting around it. She would realize that soon enough.
I’d spent the night last night tossing and turning, imagining this moment, imagining waking up with her warm, soft body pressed against mine. I was done with imagining. Now, I wanted the real thing.
We stood there in our stand-off a few moments longer until she unfolded her arms and stomped her foot. “Fine,” she said, pointing at me, “you win.” She smiled slyly before turning and walking into the room. “We’ll share.”
“We’ll what now?” I pretended outrage and followed her into the room. This room remained cold despite the warm fire burning in the main room. We’d have to share body warmth. Fuck. I couldn’t wait to share her warmth.
“We. Will. Share. The Bed.”
“You and I will share the bed?” I played along. “Like, share the bed. This bed? Right here?” That was probably too much. My acting abilities needed work.
“Yes.” She gave me a look that said she thought I was an idiot. “This bed. Where’s the extra blankets and pillows? I’ll build a wall.” I expected this and decided I would let her have her little wall. It wouldn’t stay up for long. I gestured to the small closet before walking over to the chair and taking off my boots. I was just taking off my shirt when she turned around, her arms laden with every available blanket in the place.
“What are you doing?” She exclaimed when she saw me.
“What does it look like I’m doing?” I asked as I dropped the shirt to the floor and ran my hands through my snow dampened hair. I played it up a bit to spur on her reaction. Her cheeks turned pink, and the small tip of her tongue darted out to lick her lips. “I’m changing out of my wet clothing. You can stay or go.” I moved my hands to my belt, but didn’t undo it yet. Jess stood staring at me, her eyes dark.
“You couldn’t have waited until I was done?” she demanded when she recovered. She quickly dropped her burden on the bed and turned away from me. The sway of her ponytail made me want to reach out and grab it. Later.
“I’m wet and cold. I thought you would understand that.” Clanging filled the room as I finally undid my belt. She held still, her back to me. It wasn’t until I dropped the belt on the floor that she finally moved.
She huffed, grabbed one of her bags, and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind her as she went.
I chuckled to myself and finished changing much quicker now that I wasn’t putting on a show. Jess knocked on the door just as I had pulled on my dry clothes.
“Yes?” I called out.
“I grabbed the wrong bag. Are you decent?” Jess’s sweet voice sounded from the other side of the door, shame coloring her tone. As tempting as it was to tease her, I’d pushed her far enough, for now.
“I think we both know I’m not decent, but I am done.” When I opened the door, she was just inches from it and now me. Her steel-colored eyes stared up at me for a moment before I brushed past her, walking as close to her as I could, moving my body along hers as I passed through the doorway. Every inch of her curves brushed against me. The soft give of her heated my blood. She didn’t move.
I was only torturing myself at this point.
She closed the door behind me, and I could hear the light thump of her leaning against it from the other side. I laughed and moved to the kitchen. We would need more than dry clothing to warm us up.
I thought back to the day we broke up while I made us some hot cocoa.
She just stood there with red-rimmed eyes and slumped shoulders. I could hardly believe what was happening. She was my forever. I knew it then. Why couldn’t she see it?
“This just isn’t going to work anymore,” she said as she used the sleeve of my sweater to wipe tears from her eyes. She was wearing it when we broke up and when she walked away, that sweater went with her.
“Please, just tell me what I did,” I begged. “I’ll do anything to make it better. Whatever it is, I’m sorry.” I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for, but I would do anything to keep her.
Graduation was tomorrow, and I was heading to boot camp not long after that. I had hoped to spend every minute I could with her before I left. I would need to have a steady income and career potential if I was going to ask her to marry me someday. It was going to be tough, but we had a plan. That plan was going up in smoke before my very eyes.
“You didn’t do anything,” she said, her voice thick with tears. “I just can’t do this. I’m so sorry.” She ran away from me after that, ignoring me when I called out her name so I could beg her to come back. Thankfully, she had broken up with me when no one was around to see my humiliation. Even with an audience, I still would have begged her. I had never been so sure of anything before meeting her.
I still carried out my plan, and now I was ready to finish it and settle down. There was only one woman I wanted to settle down with, and I wouldn’t let anything stand in my way.
When she came out of the room, she had removed her makeup and draped herself in a torn t-shirt and sweats. She had braided her hair, and it fell down her back.
She was so beautiful.
“Do I smell hot chocolate?” She closed her eyes as she took a deep breath in. Her face lit with pleasure. Fuck.
“With a cinnamon stick and whipped cream.” I held her mug out to her. It matched my own. I really liked the idea that we were using matching mugs. God, I needed to get a grip.
“That’s the only way to make it.” She grabbed the mug from me and curled into the chair closet to the fire. “So, what’s there to do up here?” she asked after savoring her first sip.
“No idea. I wanted to make sure we had enough firewood and food to last the weekend.” I took a sip of my cocoa. She was right. Cinnamon made the cocoa taste better. “At the rate the storm is going, we might be stuck here for a while.” I motioned towards the window where the snow was still falling heavy and fast.
“Oh, shit.” She got up and looked out the window. “That’s so much snow. How long is this storm supposed to last?”
“All night, I think,” I said, like I hadn’t followed the forecast carefully.
“Oh no. We aren’t leaving in two days, are we?” She continued to stare out the window as she spoke, dismay in her voice. I didn’t like the tone, but I was already doing everything I could about that. She had to do some of the work, too.
“Probably not, but I’m sure it will clear, and we will be fine to leave eventually.” I shrugged, pretending it didn’t matter. It wouldn’t do for Jess to realize I picked this weekend, hoping the snow would trap us here. I needed all the time fate could give me to win her back.
She pulled her phone out and walked around the cabin, looking for a signal.
“Dammit,” she said. “There’s no signal up here.”
“Sorry,” I said, not sorry one bit. “I didn’t even bother to check on that.”
“Of course not,” she grumbled as she slumped back on the couch.
“There, that should do it.” Jess admired her impressive pillow wall as we went to bed that night.
“I’m not entirely sure it’s fortified enough.” I stood beside her and examined her work. The widest pillows were on the bottom and she had built it up to be three pillows high with a blanket fortifying it all. Certainly overkill. “I think we need to radio the ISS to see if they can spot it from spa — oof.” She threw one of the extra pillows at me. I had no idea why Charlotte would have so many unused pillows in her one bedroom cabin, and I wasn’t thrilled about it either, but when in Rome. Rather than give it back, I caught it and jumped onto my side of the bed, causing the large mound of pillows to topple over onto her side. That probably wasn’t going to win points. Shit.
“Seriously? I just finished that.” She gathered back up the knocked-over pillows and started shoving them in the middle again.
“Don’t forget this one.” I set the one she had thrown at me on top of the new pile. I was trying for a playful tone to make up for knocking over her hard work. We weren’t seven. I didn’t need to pull on her pigtails. What I did need was more blood in my brain right now and to diffuse a tense situation. “Wouldn’t want to chance getting cooties from me.” I winked at her as I helped her arrange the rest of the pillows. I missed teasing her, and joy bubbled up inside me at me being able to do it again. Which is ridiculous because I was a grown man and a Marine, but here we were.
She rolled her eyes but didn’t protest my help in stacking them up again. I’m not sure what she thought was going to happen. Yes, I wanted her, but I wasn’t an ass.
“You know,” I ventured to say, “I’m not going to ravish you in your sleep.” Maybe she didn’t know. Maybe she thought I had changed that much in the last ten years. My skin crawled thinking about what could have happened during that time to build a general distrust of men, and I really hoped that didn’t extend to me. That all these pillows were because it was me and not because something bad had happened in her past. Hell, maybe she would prefer a bear wander in here and sleep next to her. I know I’d rather have her sleep next to a bear than many of the men I’ve served with over the years.
“I know that.” She was meticulously spreading out the blanket she had picked as her own and refused to look up at me. I almost forgot what I had said before. She was so focused on her task that silence had fallen between us for a time.
“Oh, I see,” I drawled, wanting to lighten the mood, even if I was the only one that needed it.
“What do you see?” she asked, a bit exasperated, but at least she stopped straightening out the already meticulous blanket.
“You’re worried about my virtue. You want to ravish me?” I rolled over and plopped my head on my hand to look at her over the tower of pillows. “Don’t worry, I would only enjoy it if you did.” I then sat up, careful of her pillow wall, pulled my shirt off, threw it to the other side of the room, pulled up my blanket, rolled over, and pretended to sleep.
She didn’t make a sound for a few seconds. I didn’t even hear her breathe. The bed finally dipped as she climbed in. I swear she said, “I think I would, too.”
I didn’t fall asleep for a long time. The Marines taught me to fall asleep quickly in any condition, but I’m not sure they had sleeping next to the woman of your dreams covered in that ‘any condition.’ I could hear when her breathing finally evened out, and she fell asleep. I gently rolled towards her on my side of the wall. Even with all the pillows in the way, I wanted to face her while we slept.
I woke in the early morning to a warm weight pressed against me and no sight of the pillow wall that had separated us through the night. Jess had crowded onto my side of the bed and was half on top of me. The feel of her, the warmth of her, the soft curves and the silky weight of her braided hair over my arm felt better than I could have ever imagined. If I couldn’t convince her to give me another chance, I didn’t know how I would ever let her go.
I stared at her and savored the feel of her while she continued to sleep. Hopefully, she was dreaming of good things, happy things, maybe even me. I certainly dreamed of her, though that was nothing new. I’d dreamed of her for so long, I wasn’t sure my subconscious ever thought of anything else.
The sun crept over the horizon and light filled the room before she stirred again. I pretended to be asleep so she wouldn’t be embarrassed at being caught laying on me. It was going to be hard enough to woo her. I didn’t need to make it harder.
Warmth fled with her, and all that remained was the chill of the morning and the sound of a slamming door. I laid in bed a bit longer, breathing in whatever traces of her scent were left, and wondering how the fuck I was going to manage to convince her to love me again.