Chapter 5
JESS
“Jess, you could have waited for me inside.”
Kane’s tone is lightly scolding, and as he closes the last few feet between us, his features crease in concern as he looks at me. Catching my chilled hands, he rubs them briskly between his. “You’re freezing. How long have you been out here?”
“Just a few minutes,” I reply, although it’s probably been closer to ten. And he’s right, I am freezing, thanks to standing outside in twenty degree weather in a coat that’s not meant for this weather and with my gloves still sitting uselessly in the closet back at home.
I should have worn my puffer coat just like I did two nights ago when we went to The Horse and Ghost. But just as I was about to put it on, my new wool peacoat caught my eye instead.
A gorgeous emerald shade that picks up the green in my eyes; the fit is tailored to accentuate my figure instead of making me look like a marshmallow.
I bought it on impulse during an after-Christmas sale, thinking it would be perfect to wear for a special occasion.
Or a date, as it turns out. A pre-work breakfast date with Kane at the Hungry Horseman, which I’m equal parts excited and nervous about.
Excited because our last date went so well.
At least, I think it was a date. We didn’t kiss at the end of it, but Kane held my hand and insisted on paying for everything and even stood up to that bitchy Samantha when I didn’t have the nerve to do it myself.
And he asked me out again before he left, explaining how he had to stay late at work to train a new recruit or he’d ask me to dinner instead.
So it feels like a date. I almost called Nora to ask what she thought, but then I got worried I might jinx it. That by putting voice to my hopes—a real date with Kane—karma might swoop in and ruin it.
Still, despite my fears of reading Kane wrong, I’m excited to see him again.
Everything was so lovely the other night, enjoying dinner together and then teaching him how to play Tenebris Veil after, which he turned out to be really good at.
“Hours of video games when I was in high school,” he boasted with a grin after felling a zombie with one blow. “I knew it would pay off eventually.”
Spending time with Kane feels a bit like standing at the edge of a cliff. Beyond is the promise of something incredible. But I could as easily step off into a dark abyss, hurtling back into the depression and loneliness I’ve struggled with for years.
It’s scary, opening myself up to the potential of another disappointment. But every time I start to second guess myself, a little voice in my head whispers, But what if he’s the one? What if the risk is worth it this time?
Something else that’s scary is the idea of waiting for Kane inside the Hungry Horseman, sitting alone at a table set for two, trying to ignore the inevitable curious looks and judging stares.
Knowing people who recognize me are wondering, Why is she here?
Is she meeting someone? Do they know what she did back in high school?
Yes. I’m a coward.
I should be brave enough to just walk inside by myself. To sit alone at a table without worrying what other people are thinking. To channel Nora’s confidence and keep my head held high instead of ducked down to hide my scars.
But I’m not. So when I got here early, I decided to stand outside in the cold instead of going inside to wait like a normal person would.
Not that I’m telling Kane that.
“Well.” Kane inspects my face for another second, then abruptly loops an arm around my shoulder and tugs me to his side. His hand rubs along my upper arm, sending a surge of heat through my skin even through layers of clothing. “Let’s get you inside. Warm up with some coffee.”
As we walk inside, he glances down at me, reminding me of just how tall he is.
I’m five-five, and he’s got at least eight inches on me, possibly more.
Surprisingly, I like this feeling of small-ness next to him, which isn’t something I’m used to.
Usually taller guys intimidate me, but with Kane, I feel protected.
“Next time I’m picking you up,” he announces. “I know you thought it would be easier since you have to go to work after, but I can take you there instead. And I’ll have Oliver help me bring your car to the office. So you’ll have it when it’s time to head home.”
“Oh, that’s not necessary,” I start.
“It is.” His gaze meets mine. “When I take you out, I should pick you up first. Not leave you standing outside in the cold while you wait for me.”
“It was only a few minutes. And it wasn’t that cold.”
And I was too much of a chicken to go in by myself, but I’m not saying that part.
Nora understands—I ended up confiding in her after group one day—and now we always meet outside no matter the weather. But I’m not quite ready for Kane to find out the extent of my insecurity.
“Still.” Kane hugs me closer to him. His expression softens. “I’d rather pick you up, Jess. Unless you really don’t want me to.”
A happy warmth sweeps through me, chasing away the lingering chill from outside. “No, I would like that. If you’re sure you don’t mind?”
He guides me over to an empty table and pulls out the chair for me, waiting until I’m seated before replying with a smile, “I’m positive I don’t mind. If I’m taking you on a date, I want to do it right.”
Oh.
Happiness fizzes up inside me so quickly it steals my breath.
It is a date.
As I wriggle out of my coat, Kane takes the seat across the table, his attention still focused on me. “I like that coat,” he adds. “The color really brings out the green in your eyes. ”
My heart leaps, lodging somewhere in my esophagus.
Who is this man, and is he for real?
Defending me at the restaurant the other night? Playing Tenebris Veil instead of judging me for it? Worrying about me standing outside in the cold? Insisting on picking me up and dealing with my car? And noticing the color of my coat and how it matches my eyes?
How is he still single?
Kane slips his own jacket off, revealing his dark blue police uniform beneath. It’s a perfect fit, the fabric emphasizing his broad shoulders and very impressive muscles.
Muscles I haven’t been able to stop thinking about ever since I saw him volunteering at the charity car wash last summer, with his white T-shirt all wet and clinging to what looked like at least a six-pack, possibly more.
And the way his biceps flexed as he soaped up the cars, glistening with beads of water…
I know the movies always show women in next-to-nothing bathing suits volunteering at car washes, but seeing a group of police officers and firefighters is infinitely better, at least in my opinion.
Especially when Kane is one of them.
An image jumps into my head—Kane standing in my driveway, washing my little hatchback with his shirt off, all the muscles I’ve fantasized about on full display.
Then I bring out a glass of lemonade, or maybe a beer, and he rewards me with another of his sexy smiles.
As he takes the drink from me, he pulls me into his arms and kisses me.
Then he realizes he got me all wet and insists on taking me inside to change my clothes, peeling each piece of damp fabric off? —
“Jess?”
I startle at Kane’s voice, jerking in my seat and smashing my knee on the underside of the table. A hiss of pain escapes before I can stop it, and I instinctively clamp my hand to my throbbing knee.
“Shit, Jess. Are you okay?” Kane half-rises from his seat, worry lines etched into his forehead. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I should have thought?—”
“No, I’m fine,” I hurry to reply. Gritting my teeth against the pain, I force a smile that I hope looks reassuring. “Just bumped my knee is all. No big deal.”
He hesitates, still hovering half-up-half-down. His brows draw together. “Are you sure? I’m trained in first aid. I could take a look.”
“It’s okay.” I gesture for him to sit back down. “Really. It’s just a little bump. Nothing to worry about.”
He stares at me for another few seconds before slowly taking his seat again. “Okay. But if you need some ice, just let me know. I’ll ask the server to bring some over.”
He still looks so worried, I find myself reaching across the table to pat his hand. “I’m really okay,” I assure him. “I promise.”
Our gazes meet, and this little frisson of something passes between us.
Something magnetic. Something irresistible. Something I’ve never felt before.
Kane turns our hands over, covering mine with his. He rubs his thumb across my palm almost absently as he says, “You can always tell me, Jess. If something’s wrong. Or if you need something. Alright?”
My heart jumps again.
My chest squeezes .
Is this really happening to me?
I’ve watched my friends with their partners, feeling quietly envious of their relationships, but I never really imagined myself finding the same thing. It’s been a wishful fantasy to find a man who would be there for me no matter what, but I never truly believed it would happen.
Not in Sleepy Hollow, at least. Maybe never.
But now…
I’m scared to hope. But I can’t help it.
“Okay,” I agree. “But you have to tell me, too. If something’s bothering you, or if you need something… It goes both ways.”
Kane blinks at me. Then his smile expands. “Okay, Jess. I will.”
We share another look, one filled with possibility and a magical something I can’t quite explain.
Everything else around us fades.
The buzzy chatter of the restaurant dims.
The ever present worries— Are people talking about me? Are they looking at my scars? —shift into the background.
In this moment, it’s just me and a man I’m quickly developing feelings for.