Chapter 13
JESS
I’ve never been one for surprises.
I’m not sure why. Maybe it stems from the first unpleasant—strike that, awful—surprise I can remember, back when I was eight-years-old and I came home from school to find out my dad had left.
Not left, as in he went to the store or his work needed him to make an impromptu business trip.
But really left. And he never came back.
Then there were the little nasty surprises, like when I was all set to go on the class trip to DC in seventh grade but found out last minute that my mom couldn’t afford it.
Or when I walked in on my first boyfriend—Tyler Denton, in tenth grade—talking with his friends about how soon he thought he could convince me to have sex with him.
Then there were the really awful surprises.
Like the ride home with Liam that I foolishly thought could turn into something special, but came close to taking my life.
Finding out that my mom was dying after she’d been keeping her diagnosis from me for months.
And most recently, the package left in my office, another harsh reminder of the animosity in this town I can’t seem to escape.
So when Kane announced over breakfast that he had a surprise arranged for me, I wasn’t exactly excited about it. I tried to put on a good face, plastering on my best oh, I can’t wait expression, but inside, my stomach started churning.
“I know we talked about staying home and doing something low-key for your birthday,” he explained, “but since it’s the first one I get to celebrate with you, I wanted to do something special. I hope that’s okay.”
What was I supposed to say? No? And crush the hopeful look in his eyes by admitting that a quiet day at home sounded like the perfect way to celebrate my thirty-sixth birthday?
“It’ll be good,” he added earnestly. “You know I wouldn’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable. No naked sprints through town park. Or an extreme winter hike up Slide Mountain.”
It’s not that I don’t trust Kane. Of anyone I know, I think I trust him the most.
No. I don’t think. I know. Even though we haven’t been together long, I just have this gut feeling he’d never do anything to hurt me. That he wouldn’t lie to me, even if the truth hurt.
So here I am. Sitting in the passenger seat of Kane’s car with a blindfold on, my heart jackrabbiting in nervous anticipation .
Though I can’t see anything, I focus on other things to ground me, just like the counselor in my PTSD group suggested.
The warmth of Kane’s hand wrapped around mine.
The faint scent of his body wash I catch with every breath.
The gentle rumble of the road and the soothing swish of the windshield wipers chasing away the flurries that started just as we left.
“You’re not feeling sick, are you?” Kane asks, breaking the silence in the car. “I didn’t think. But if the blindfold is making you feel ill… the surprise isn’t that important.”
“No, I’m okay.” And I am. At least, I don’t feel like I’m in danger of vomiting all over the car. “The blindfold doesn’t bother me.” Not knowing where we’re going, on the other hand… But I won’t say that.
Kane flips my hand over and traces little circles on my palm with his thumb. “That reminds me. If you don’t mind the blindfold… What would you think about trying it out back at home?”
The butterflies in my belly burst into flight, taking with them my nervous anxiety.
In their place, desire builds at my center, hot and heavy and insistent.
“You want to use the blindfold in bed?” I ask idiotically, because, duh.
What else could he be talking about? Vacuuming blindfolded? Washing the dishes?
The car slows, then leans slightly to the left. As it accelerates again, Kane replies in that low, rough tone he gets when he’s talking about sex, “Only if you want to, sweetheart. I just thought since you liked the scarves so much, this might be fun, too.”
A mental image fills my mind—me, wrists carefully tied to the posts of Kane’s bed, the same silky fabric across my eyes, my breath catching with each unseen kiss and caress.
My heart fluttering not from nerves but wondering where Kane will touch me next, all my senses focused on his hands, his mouth, his smell…
With a hint of amusement in his tone, he says, “So you like the idea, then?”
“Yes.” I squeeze my legs against the heat building between them. “I like it. A lot.”
“Good.” He releases my hand to stroke my cheek. “When we get home, then.” And then, even more gruffly, “I can’t wait. Imagining you stretched out on my bed, giving yourself to me…”
Oh.
Now I can see him in my mind, gloriously naked as he braces himself over me, his biceps flexing and his gaze dark with desire…
The heat at my core expands, blossoming through my body. My breath quickens.
As the car slows again, Kane’s lips brush my cheek. “I’d like to take you home and try out the blindfold now. But this surprise; it’s something I can’t postpone. So we’ll have to wait a few hours, at least.”
Right. The surprise.
I’ve been working through ideas all day, trying to guess what Kane has planned.
Dinner at one of the nicer restaurants in Sleepy Hollow, which wouldn’t be bad, but seems a little too normal to be considered a surprise.
Some kind of chef’s table type thing, where we sit in the kitchen and watch the food cooked in front of us?
Or maybe an overnight stay at a hotel, complete with massages and room service?
None of those options sound bad. Far from it. It’s the not knowing that really gets to me. The anxious twisting in my gut that accompanies the reminder that anywhere in Sleepy Hollow, I run the risk of seeing someone who can ruin my night with just a few cutting words.
The car slows once more, and this time, a cold blast of air comes along with it. Kane speaks into what must be an intercom as he says, “It’s Kane and Jess. Do you want to see our identification?”
A familiar voice rumbles through, though it takes me a second to place it. “Of course not. I can see you guys on the camera. Come on in.”
Cash. That’s who it is. Puzzle pieces slot together as we pull forward again. “Are we at Ari and Cash’s house?” I ask. “It’s not Monday night. So I know it’s not to watch The Bachelor .”
“It’s not to watch The Bachelor ,” Kane agrees. “But yes, we’re at Cash and Ari’s place.”
“Are we having dinner with Ari and Thea? Is that it?”
“Jess.” Even though I can’t see him, I can tell he’s smiling. “It’s a surprise. If I tell you, that kind of defeats the purpose, doesn’t it?”
Before I can stop myself, I admit quietly, “Surprises make me a little nervous. I haven’t had very many good ones.”
Kane pulls the car to a stop and puts it in park. Then he takes both my hands in his. “Jess.” Regret laces his tone. “Why didn’t you tell me before? I wouldn’t have?—”
“It’s fine,” I interject. “It’s not a big deal. Forget I said anything.”
He carefully removes the blindfold from my eyes, and the first thing I see is his concerned expression. “I’m not going to forget it. I always want to know how you’re feeling. ”
Something Nora told me during our last coffee date comes back to mind.
“It was hard, opening up about things I thought might upset Jack,” she said.
“But then I realized not telling him was far worse. Because then he didn’t know how to help me.
And I knew if the positions were reversed, I’d want to know. ”
“You’re right.” I lean forward to give him a soft kiss. “I should have said something. But,” I add as he opens his mouth to respond, “it’s not because of you that I get nervous about surprises. And I trust you. So I’m sure it’s going to be fine.”
“It will.” Kane unfastens his seatbelt and pockets his keys, then puts his hand on the door handle. “I really think you’ll like this. If you don’t, we’ll leave. No problem. And next time, no surprises. Okay?” He pauses. “Do you want to know now? Before we go in?”
“No, that’s alright.” I already feel bad about putting a damper on his surprise. “Now that we’re here, I’m excited to find out what you planned.”
His face lights up. “I hope you like it, at least.”
As we walk towards the entrance to the house, Kane gathers me against his side, pressing light kisses to the top of my head. Despite the below-freezing temperature and the snow falling on my face, I don’t feel a bit of it, thanks to the reassuring warmth of his body.
“Did I mention how beautiful you look?” he asks just before we arrive at the front door. “Because you do.”
I glance down at my cranberry-colored sweater flecked with threads of gold, barely visible beneath my marshmallow puffer jacket.
The sweater reveals more of my neck than I’d normally prefer, but once I saw Kane’s eyes pop as I tried it on for him, I knew I had to wear it.
“I’m not really dressed up, though. I hope that’s okay. ”
“As if I am?” He grins, making a sweeping gesture at his North Face jacket and dark blue jeans. “This isn’t a dressy thing. I promise. And you look perfect. The color brings out the pink in your cheeks, and the gold in it reminds me of the gold in your eyes.”
My heart makes an uneven thud in my chest. “You look pretty handsome, too.”
Not that he doesn’t always look handsome. In his uniform, jeans and a sweater, the sweats he wears to lounge around the house, and my favorite, naked, all his muscles on full display.
An almost shy smile curves Kane’s lips. “I’m glad you think so.”
A beat later, the front door swings open, revealing a beaming Ari standing before it. “Jess,” she exclaims in a happy tone. “You’re here.” Then she pulls me into a quick hug. “Everyone’s been waiting for you.”
Kane clears his throat. “What about me? Am I chopped liver?” But he’s smiling as he says it, clearly unbothered.
Ari grins at him. “It’s good to see you, too, Kane.” She gives him a lightning fast hug. “Now, get in here. Warm up.”