Chapter 15 #2
“I guess… I’ve been working on convincing myself of that. And Kane… he doesn’t seem to care. But it’s not just the scars. It’s how people treat me in Sleepy Hollow. Like I’m poison. And?—”
“That’s ridiculous,” Nora interjects. “I wish I’d known, Jess. How people were acting towards you. I thought it was just a random thing. I had no idea it happened all the time.”
“I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to feel bad. Or feel responsible to try and fix things.” Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly before confessing, “I haven’t had many friends since high school. Since I screwed everything up. And I was afraid of messing up our friendship.”
“Jess.” Nora leans forward to hug me. “You couldn’t.”
“I guess I’m worried about Kane having second thoughts,” I admit. “Realizing that he could do better. Or wanting to be with someone who doesn’t have my baggage.”
“Baggage?”
“Yes. My PTSD. My aversion to relationships. My scars. All the people in town who refuse to let go of a mistake from almost twenty years ago. And… I’m scared I’ll do something wrong. Scare him off. Be too demanding. Or not enough.”
Nora narrows her eyes as her brow creases in thought.
“I don’t know, Jess. Obviously, I can’t read Kane’s mind.
But the way he acts around you? How he talks about you?
And did you know he calls B and A every day to check on the progress on your case?
Sometimes twice. He’s not worried in the way you worry about a friend.
He’s worried about someone he cares deeply about. ”
“He told me he loved me.” It just slips out.
“Jess!” Her eyes go wide. “Then what are you worrying about? Unless… do you not feel the same way?”
“No, I do. I love him. I have for a while. But I keep worrying it’s too soon. That I’m setting myself up for disappointment.”
After another introspective pause, she asks, “Would you rather not take the chance at all? Protect your heart by not letting the relationship go further?”
The thought of letting Kane go feels like a dagger stabbing through my heart. “No. Even though I’m scared, I don’t want to let him go. I’m not sure I could.”
“Then that’s your answer. I won’t lie and say falling in love isn’t scary. But it seems pretty clear cut to me. He loves you. You love him. Yes, you’re nervous. And that’s okay. Just trust in your feelings for each other and try not to over-analyze it. Okay?”
She makes it sound so simple.
But then again, maybe I’m the one making things so complicated. Maybe I’m so accustomed to things not going my way that I’m looking for problems where they don’t exist.
Kane loves me.
He planned the most amazing birthday surprise for me.
He fixed my mom’s lobster, which might be the most thoughtful thing anyone’s ever done for me.
He’s gone above and beyond to make me feel safe. Comfortable. At home. Even buying new bedroom decor just because he thought I’d like it.
When I look at it that way, maybe my fears aren’t as valid as I’m making them out to be.
“Kane’s never had a serious relationship, either,” I say. “Do you think it’s possible for two people to find the one on the first try? I always hear people talking about how they needed to experience being with other people first. But I can’t imagine dating anyone else. Not after meeting Kane.”
Nora’s expression brightens. “Oh, yes. I absolutely think so. Jack was my first love. I was so busy trying to prove myself in the Army, and later, as a Green Beret, I pushed all thoughts about dating to the side. Until I met Jack. And I just knew. Even in the years we were apart, I never considered looking for another relationship. Jack was it. And he always will be.”
The band around my chest finally falls away.
Maybe all the years of keeping things to myself wasn’t such a great idea. Maybe doling out my personal life in bits and pieces to my friends online wasn’t enough. Maybe I should have made more of an effort to open up.
Maybe then, I wouldn’t have felt so alone.
My nose prickles as I hug Nora back. “Thank you. Talking… it really helped.”
“Good.” Her smile widens. “Now. How about if we find something to watch on TV? Something cheesy that will take your mind off worrying about what Kane’s doing and when he’ll be home.”
“Okay.” I hop up from the couch, thankful for something to do. “I can make some popcorn. And I’ve got soda, seltzer, beer…”
“Seltzer’s good,” Nora replies. “Popcorn sounds perfect, too. With extra butter. And I’ll search for the absolute cheesiest reality show to watch. Hanna got me watching Extreme Naked Castle Escape , which I’m embarrassed to admit I actually like.”
Halfway to the kitchen, I turn to give her a genuine smile. “That sounds weird, but perfect.”
“Is it good news or bad?”
As soon as Kane shuts and locks the door behind Nora, the question bursts out of me.
Before he came home, I’d planned on being casual about it. Not rushing him. I thought I’d wait for him to shower and change, serve up some of the pot pie I’ve been checking on for the last three hours, and then let him bring up the topic himself.
But here I am, asking him less than a minute after he walked through the door. It’s like I’m an impatient kid on Christmas morning, except I have a sinking feeling I’m not going to like the answers I get nearly as much as the second-hand Barbie Dream House I got when I was eight.
It could be good news, my optimistic side assures me.
Kane could have found out I was just the random target of some weirdo on the internet, some guy who locks himself in his office and spends all his free time searching for innocent victims to harass.
Who searches for their darkest secrets and weaponizes them all for his own sick pleasure.
I mean, not that internet psychos are good news. But at least it wouldn’t be someone I know. And it would be over. I can go back to my normal life—driving to work on my own, grocery shopping without an escort, and moving back home…
Although. I like being here with Kane. And I’m not sure if my house will ever feel the same again.
I don’t know if I’ll ever feel completely safe, or if I’ll constantly be jumping at sudden noises, convinced it’s someone else coming to throw rocks through my windows.
Or if I’ll ever be able to walk through the front door without being afraid that my home was invaded again.
“Sorry,” I hurry to add. “I know you just stepped in the door. And you must be hungry. We can eat first. There’s no rush?—”
Kane loops his arm around my waist and guides me away from the front door and into the living room. He sits on the couch first and pulls me onto his lap, gazing down at me with a worried expression. “You didn’t eat yet? It’s after nine, Jess. You didn’t have to wait for me.”
“I had some popcorn with Nora. So I ate something. And I wanted to wait for you.”
As he stares at me, he strokes a finger across my forehead, tracing the line that appears whenever I’m stressed. “It’s not that bad, sweetheart.” He pauses. “First. Did you have a good time with Nora?”
“Yeah… We talked a bit. And then we watched this show called Extreme Naked Castle Escape , which sounds strange, but it was actually pretty entertaining.”
“ Extreme Naked Castle Escape ?” Kane’s lips quirk. “I’m not sure I want to know.”
I appreciate what he’s doing; trying to ease into the conversation by talking about meaningless things first. But I really just want to get straight to it. “Kane…”
“Okay, okay.” He adjusts me on his lap. “So it’s mostly good news. And just a little bad.”
“Tell me the bad news first.”
“I can’t. It kind of goes along with the good.
” Kane pauses, his expression shifting to something more serious.
“So you know Blade and Arrow reached out to a contact of theirs—Alec, who used to serve with them for a while in the Army. Alec’s up in Vermont working for a security team there, and he created this program that analyzes fingerprints and crossmatches them with every database in the world. ”
“Don't the police do that, too?”
“Yes. But we only have access to certain databases. Alec’s program can get into all of them. Privately-run businesses, international databases… it’s not by the book, bu t given the situation, the chief agreed to use the match as a starting point.”
My heart jumps. “So he found a match?”
If possible, Kane looks even more somber. “He did. From the partial we got on the package left in your office. And once we got a name, it allowed for further investigation. Surveillance. Talking to some of her friends and letting them know the repercussions for keeping her secrets.”
“Her?”
Kane gives me a little squeeze. “Her,” he affirms. “One of her friends caved. Admitted that she knew about your tires being slashed. And the rocks through your windows. From there, we were able to get a search warrant.”
“What did you find?”
“I tagged along,” he replies. “So I can say for certain the evidence will stick. There were rocks left in her office and paint that matched the same color used on the ones thrown into your house. The same wrapping paper that was used on the package. And—” He scowls.
“More photos like the ones she sent you.”
“Who?” My voice rises. “Who was it?”
There’s a long pause. Long enough for my imagination to go wild. For me to consider everyone, even the people I would never have considered before.
“It’s Eliza.”
My body tenses. “Eliza? From work?”
“Yeah. I’m sorry, Jess. I know you were hoping it wasn’t someone you knew. But it’s her.”
Disbelief courses through me, even though, rationally, I knew it was possible. “I knew she didn’t like me. But slashing my tires? Vandalizing my house? The package? And did she break in and move my stuff around?”
“She hasn’t confessed yet,” Kane says. “Right now, she’s in custody, awaiting her attorney. But we’ll get it out of her. And even if she doesn’t confess, we have enough evidence to make a strong case against her. She won’t get a chance to pull this shit on you again.”
Pain and hope come at me in waves.
Pain at the confirmation that yes, someone really does hate me that much.
Hope that it might finally be over.
Tears burn behind my eyes. “All because I wrote her up at work? And a grudge she’s been holding since high school?”
Anger shadows Kane’s gaze. His jaw could cut glass. “We found photos of Liam at her apartment. A lot of them. It looks like she may have been fixated on him for years. So that could be another motive.”
“I didn’t kill him!” My voice catches. “Everyone knows. He was drunk. I didn’t make him drive that night. I screwed up after, letting Thea take the fall. But I didn’t make him drive. I didn’t. Why does everyone keep blaming me for his death?”
“Oh, sweetheart.” Pain sweeps across his features.
Hugging me close, he kisses my forehead gently.
“I know. Of course it wasn’t your fault.
Some people, they cling to falsehoods because it’s easier than accepting the truth.
Or they’re so unhappy with their own life, they need to put all that dissatisfaction on someone else.
Eliza has issues. Serious ones. But in no way does that make Liam’s death your fault.
And it damn well doesn’t mean you deserved anything she did. ”
I know I should be happy. Relieved. And I will be. Once I have time to let reality settle in.
But right now, I still have a gnawing ache in my chest. A hollow emptiness that comes with the realization of just how far Eliza would go to hurt me.
“Jess, baby.” Kane turns me so I’m straddling him. His eyes turn a deep midnight blue. “I know it hurts to think about someone you know doing that. I know. But I want you to remember some important things. Okay?”
I take a deep breath and meet his gaze. “Okay.”
“You have a lot of people who care about you. Everyone who was there on Saturday night, to start. There might be some small-minded people in town who hold some stupid grudge, but they’ll have to get past it. They will get past it.”
With a tiny nod, I repeat, “Okay.”
“And.” He frames my face with the gentlest of touches. “You have me. I’m not going anywhere. And anyone who doubts you, who says anything inappropriate or unkind, I’m not going to let it stand. I’ve got your back, Jess. That’s what people in love do for each other.”
Swallowing hard to keep my tears from escaping, I nod again. “I love you, Kane. So much.”
“Sweetheart.” His voice is so kind, so loving. “I love you. And I promise, it’s going to be okay. Even if it hurts sometimes while you’re working your way through it.”
As I look into his eyes, I think about everything Kane has done for me. Believed in me when no one would. Stood up for me. Protected me. Made me feel special in a way I never have before.
And he loves me.
With all of that, I can get past anything .
So I focus on that. On the love I see in his eyes. And trusting myself to follow my heart no matter how scary it is.
Then I smile at him. “Okay. So now I know. How about that pot pie? And it’s probably too late for the movie, but we could snuggle for a bit and then…” My eyebrows lift hopefully. “Maybe the scarves?”
His whole body relaxes as a sigh of relief gusts out. Then he kisses me before meeting my gaze again. “I know I keep saying this, Jess. But you really are incredible.”