Chapter 21 #2
It’s like I told Hazel the other night while we were playing. “I think you’re right. About deserving something good. Something special. I didn’t agree with you for the longest time, but now I do. I deserve to be happy just like everyone else.”
“I just want to make sure,” Kane replies. “I know you don’t like asking for things. But if you want anything… a new kitchen, one of those she-sheds, a trip to the Caribbean…”
“A she-shed?” I giggle. “Why would I want one of those?”
Kane’s forehead wrinkles. “I don’t know. For privacy? To do… crafts or something? You could have a whole knitting station out there with special holders for your yarn.”
“Kane.” I’m gently scolding. “The closet in the office is just fine. And I don’t need privacy. I love spending as much time as I can with you.”
His hand stills mid-stroke through my hair. “ Jess . Me too.”
I kiss his neck, nuzzling my face against his warm skin. “I’m so happy. I can’t remember ever feeling this happy, really. And it’s because of you.”
“Sweetheart.”
He takes a deep breath. Exhales slowly. Then he slowly starts to get up. “Stay here,” he says. “Let me just grab a towel to clean up.”
The moment when he pulls out always comes with an intense sense of loss. An emptiness only Kane can fill. Though the igloo is toasty warm thanks to the heaters running, a little chill still washes over me when he leaves the couch.
But, fortunately, I don’t have to suffer his loss long. In less than a minute, we’re snuggled back on the couch together, with a fuzzy blue blanket wrapped around us.
“Are you comfortable?” he asks as he tucks the blanket more tightly around me. “I can turn the heaters up if you want. Or grab another blanket.”
I kiss his cheek. “I’m perfect.” My gaze jumps to the spread of charcuterie on the table beside us. “Do you want any more cheese? Or wine?”
He follows my gaze before turning his attention back to me. “No, I’m good.” Then he pauses. Tenses. Something indecipherable dances in his eyes. A tiny muscle ticks in his jaw.
“Kane. Are you okay?”
“Of course.” His smile is immediate, but strained. And upon further inspection, I think I see a hint of fear in Kane’s eyes.
“Are you sure?” I persist. “Because it goes both ways, remember? I’m supposed to tell you if anything bothers me. And you’re supposed to do the same. ”
“Nothing’s wrong. I promise.” Kane draws in a long breath. “I just… I want to ask you something.”
“Okay?” I catch his hand, surprised to feel it trembling slightly. “What is it?”
“Well.” He hesitates. “Maybe it’s too soon. But… after everything, it made me realize how I don’t want to waste any time. Especially when it comes to people I care about. Especially when it comes to you.”
Then he reaches beneath the couch and pulls out a small box.
My heart trips. Stumbles.
My breath catches.
“I told myself I should wait,” Kane continues. “But… I don’t want to.”
“Wait for what?”
“Wait to ask you to marry me.”
Then he flips open the box to reveal a ring inside.
One with a diamond at the center and twin sapphires on either side.
Time freezes.
Voice shaking, Kane says, “This was the ring my dad gave to my mom. I brought it to the jeweler and had the accent diamonds switched out with sapphires, so it would be special just for you. But if you want a new ring, that’s okay, too.
I’ll buy you whatever you want. A blue diamond, if you want. Or all sapphires. Or?—”
It’s hard to hear his words above the whooshing of my heart.
“Kane. Are you asking me to marry you?”
“Oh.” Pink tinges his cheeks. “Yes. I guess I should have started with that part first.” With a hopeful look in his eyes, he continues, “I love you, Jessica Day. With all my heart. I want you to be my first and last love. My wife. My partner. The person I share everything with.”
My nose prickles. “Kane?—”
“I will do anything to make you happy, Jess. Anything. Not just now, but for the rest of our lives. I want to spend my life protecting you. Standing by your side through thick and thin. Growing old together. I want all of it, sweetheart. So… will you marry me?”
Just as I’m opening my mouth to answer, Kane adds, “Shit. I’m sorry. I should be kneeling, shouldn’t I? Let me?—”
But before he can get up, I grab his arm, stilling him. “No. You don’t need to kneel.”
His face falls. “No?”
“No, no, that’s not what I meant.” I fling my arms around him. “Not no to your proposal. No to kneeling. You don’t need to. This? It’s perfect.”
“Is your answer yes, then?”
This time I’m the one blushing. “Yes. Of course.” Leaning back, I frame his face with my hands. “I guess I should have said that first. Yes. I’ll marry you.”
“Jess.” Moisture gleams in Kane’s eyes. “You will?”
“Yes. A million times yes. All the things you said, I want them too. Being your wife. Your partner. Spending my life with you.” Sniffing back tears, I add, “I want you to be my first and last love, too.”
“Jess.” Kane pulls out the ring. The light from the fire pit reflects off the stones, throwing sparkles around the igloo. “Do you want this one? Or we can go into the city, look at the jewelry stores there, if you’d prefer something new. ”
I hold my hand out to him. “This ring is perfect. But are you sure your mom doesn’t mind?”
Kane slides the ring on my finger, and I feel something click deep inside me.
“She wants you to have it,” he replies. “She said it carries the love she has for my dad. And now it’ll carry our love.”
“Kane.” The tears burst free. “I love it. This is so much more special than something new.”
“Don’t cry.” It’s quick. Laced with panic.
“I’m happy,” I tell him. “These are happy tears.”
With a soft caress, Kane wipes the dampness from my cheeks. “I still don’t like seeing you cry.”
“I know. But this time, it’s okay.”
Time seems to slow as we stare into each other’s eyes.
I thought I knew happiness. But it’s nothing compared to this.
“I love you,” I finally say, breaking the silence. “And I can’t wait to become your wife.”
“Jess.” Kane kisses me hard. “I never knew I could feel like this.”
“Like how?”
“Like my entire life has been leading to this. To finding you. Loving you. Devoting my life to you.”
Oh .
Emotion wells up so quickly I’m breathless from it.
My mind whirls with all the things I want to say. But all that comes out is, “Thank you.”
Confusion clouds Kane’s expression. “Thank you?”
“For showing me I do deserve love. That I deserve you.”
“Oh, Jess. You deserve everything good. And I’ll spend my life making sure you have it. ”
“I love you.” I kiss Kane again. “And I’ll spend my life making sure you get everything good, too.”
“Baby.” His expression goes soft. “I have you. That’s all I need.”
Oh.
He’s right.
I already have everything I ever wanted right here beside me.
Kane.
My true love.
My future husband.
The person who brought me to life again. Who showed me I’m not the villain of the story.
That I deserve a happy ending, too.
And against all odds, I finally found it.