11. Nicky
Chapter eleven
Nicky
“ I don’t suppose I can get you to ride on the back of my bike, can I?” Booker says as we make our way to the parking lot.
“Nope, but it’s cute that you tried,” I say with a laugh. Hanging out with Booker and the guys this morning was a lot of fun, which I didn’t expect. I mean, I knew they were fun guys. I just didn’t expect to be welcomed into the fold as easily as I was. I'm sure that they’ve all got some kind of opinion about Booker and my non-relationship. “So where are we off to?”
“I was going to suggest that we go to the diner for lunch, but it’s a beautiful day out. I’m not sure how many more good days we’re going to get this year with the Oregon weather, so I ordered a couple of cheesesteak sandwiches for take out, and we are going to ride to this spot I know.” Booker smiles wickedly at me. “It’s the exact spot that one day you’re going to tell me you love me.”
I just shake my head and get on my bike. Putting my helmet on, I make sure I watch Booker as he gets on his bike. Well, I watch his butt anyway.
I don’t know what to do about Booker. There is no denying that I have feelings for him. I’m just going to do what I always do in these kinds of awkward situations. I’m going to ignore it. I don’t want to risk my family, but I need to spend time with him. He sucked me into his orbit, and that’s where I’m going to stay now.
As we head out of the car lot, I stare at more than just Booker’s butt. He looks like he was made to be on a bike, relaxed yet confident. I love the look of his cut as well. The black leather with the silver stitching of a gargoyle in the center, Fallen Gargoyles MC curving the top with his name underneath. I did some research on biker clubs and wearing cuts. They are vests (though if you call one that, you’ll get bitched at), to identify what club they’re in. Like sports jerseys.
We pull up outside the local diner, and I realize I have no memory of getting here. I was so focused on Booker and what he looked like. I should probably pay a lot more attention when we ride to the viewing point he wants to show me.
Booker is back within a few minutes with our food, putting in his side saddle bags, and then we’re off again. This time I make sure I pay attention for the ten-minute ride.
I really do love the beauty of Oregon. I’ve only been here twice before for work. And I hope to fuck that this isn’t going to just be a visit. This is definitely a state I could settle down in.
Soon enough, I’m pulling up behind Booker and once again staring shamelessly at his body.
I really should look around at the pretty scenery. We’re near the top of a hill overlooking a valley below.
“It’s beautiful, Booker.”
“I’m really glad you think so,” He smiles back at me, dimples on full display. He has to know what they do to me. “This isn’t the exact spot where we're going to eat our sandwiches, though. Follow me. There’s somewhere where we can sit and look at the view.”
A couple of minutes later, we are sitting on a rock stool with our food in between us, looking out over the Valley. Pretty soon, the only sounds are the paper rustling from our sandwiches and the local wildlife.
Booker and I sitting in silence doesn’t feel awkward. It doesn’t feel like we need to fill the silence. I feel completely comfortable around him. There’s a part of me that can imagine our whole life being like this.
Just being.
With him.
I shake the image away. I need to see how things go with Kenny, Stella, and Reed. I don’t know how to get that kid to like me. Or just tolerate me without making mean, passive-aggressive remarks. It kind of makes me feel like living with my birth parents again.
“What are you thinking about?” Booker asks, looking at me shrewdly. “It doesn’t look like you’re having happy thoughts.”
I sigh. “I’m thinking about Reed. I don’t know what to do to make them like me.”
“I’ll talk to them. Tell them to lay off you.”
“No, please don’t. That’s just going to make them hate me more. If they think I’m snitching or turning people against them.”
“OK, but let me know if you do want me to say anything because I will. I’m really kind of shocked. They’ve always been a sarcastic smartass, but he’s never been mean to people for no reason.” Booker frowns. I changed the subject to not wanting to be the reason he feels negative toward his brother.
“Do you come here often?” I laugh at the accidental cheesy pickup line.
He grins at me. “A couple of times a month, maybe. I love the clubhouse and the tattoo shop. But, I really just love that this is someplace just mine. No one else knows it exists. It’s my peace.”
I look at him, shocked.” But you brought me?”
“You are my peace.” He says simply. “I know I’ve been acting like a horny, possessive caveman, but you mean more to me than just sex. I want more from you than to just own your body. I want to own your heart, too.”
Not for the first time, Booker has made me speechless.
He takes pity on me and changes the subject. “So hockey, what NHL team do you support? Personally. I’m a big fan of New York. Trick Arnold is really cool.”
We finished our sandwiches and spent the next forty-five minutes talking about all sorts of random stuff. I know his favorite color, his shoe size, his favorite subjects in school. Really superficial things that mean the world.
I know that pretty soon I’m going to have to figure out exactly what it is we’re doing.
Booker is an amazing man who doesn’t deserve to be messed with.
The next morning I’m woken by water being thrown in my face.
“What the fuck?” I yell, choking and coughing, water dribbling out of my nose. I look up and see a smirking Reed.
“My dad sent me to wake you up,” he says, emphisizing the my, I just roll my eyes.
“And you didn’t think waking me up by calling my name would be sufficient?”
“I tried that first.” he grins, looking like Stella. “Once. I whispered it from outside the room.”
“Can we please just try to get along? I think it would be cool to have a little brother.” I plead a little.
“I’ve already got one.”
There’s clearly no way I’m going to get through to Reed anytime soon. “Why did Kenny ask you to wake me up?”
Read scowls at me.” He wants us to go visit my grandpa’s grave. It’s important to him, so don’t fuck it up.” They then walk out of the room, slamming the door. Because, of course.
I quickly brush my teeth, feeling thankful I had a shower before I went to sleep last night. I get dressed and head on down to the main clubhouse room where Kenny, Booker, Stella, and Reed are waiting for me.
“Morning, son,” Kenny says, smiling. “I thought I’d take you to meet my pops today. The graveyard is actually directly behind the clubhouse grounds, so it’s only a five-minute walk there.”
“Sounds good,” I say. We head out, ignoring the bikes. We make our way across the luscious green landscape.
“How are you settling into Vigo Falls?” He looks nervous like there is a lot riding on my answer.
“It is a great place,” I tell him honestly. “There is so much natural beauty. And your club members are a lot of fun.”
“Yeah, I heard about the Mario Kart tournament,” he chuckles. “How well did you do?”
“I might have to practice a bit more. I’ve only played a few times with Max’s teammates.”
“You didn’t have a Nintendo as a kid?” he asks, not looking at me. I get the feeling he wants to know more about my childhood but pretty sure that will just upset him.
“I didn’t. Max and I would spend a lot of time riding our bikes when he wasn’t at hockey practice.”
Kenny smiles at me. He looks like he’s going to say something, but thinks better of it.
“What did you want to say?” I ask him.
“I was just wondering if you’ve spoken to your mom and-”
“Brian,” I interject. “My mom and Brian.”
He smiles at me, looking relieved. “Stella was wondering if you wanted to invite them for dinner or something?”
“That’s a really sweet idea, but they are no longer going to be a part of my life. They’ve done the bare minimum since I was about five years old. Before the visit where they told me that you are my dad, I hadn’t seen them in four years.”
“OK, we both wanted you to know that we don’t expect to replace them if you don’t want us to.”
“I do want you to.” I decide to get it all out there. “I want this. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a part of a proper family. Max and I did our best, and we will always be brothers no matter what, but he has Bron, Bron’s family, and his hockey guys. I want to have you. I want to do things like have a birthday cake for the first time and get a present. I’m excited about Stella’s Christmas stocking. Although, Fizz did tell me to keep anything that I might not want a personal cover for hidden. I don’t really know what he means by that.”
To my surprise, Kenny just goes red. “I think Booker can explain that one.” He laughs uncomfortably.
“You’ll always have us, Nicky. I know I only found out about you a few weeks ago, but I love you, kid. I love all three of my boys, and in an ideal world, you will all stay close by.” He stops walking. “No matter what happens, we’re your family now.”
I smile, and we carry on and catch up with the others. I can’t help but run it through my head. No matter what, we’re your family now. Was he trying to tell me something? Was it his way of giving the okay for me and Booker? Or was that him empasizing that we’re all a family now, so I shouldn’t be thinking that way about Booker? I don’t know. It’s all fucking confusing.
Why did Booker have to be my stepbrother? He could have been just any regular biker member.
Although, with Kenny being the president, that probably still would have held me back.
Maybe the stepbrother thing isn’t an issue.
Maybe it’s me.
Maybe I just don’t know how to give someone my heart.