Chapter 2
BAILEY BLACKWOOD
My eyes open and I blink away the cobwebs after that dream. That… dream. What was that?
I’m leaning on someone. A human. Oops! I straighten up and mutter, “I’m so sorry” to the older woman in the plane seat beside me as I fix my askew eyeglasses.
“That’s okay, dear,” she chirps happily and adjusts the little yellow baby bootie she’s knitting. “Good you woke up when you did. My arm was falling asleep.”
I repeat my apology as I check my wrist for the time while squeezing my crinky neck. Still four hours left on this flight.
I didn’t sleep for very long, but I had a weirdly vivid and veering toward sexual dream. About Jason!
I need to splash cold water on my currently flaming face.
Dream Jase was shirtless, jeans undone, and he was hovering over me, asking me why I smell like apple pie. But then he quirked up his left eyebrow and gruffly said, “Did you know apple pie is my favorite, kiddo? And I gotta tell you… I really, really need a bite.”
And then he leaned in and put his nose to my throat, inhaled deep with a primal growling sound, and then…
And then I woke up before it got good.
Goosebumps cover me. And maybe there’s another place where the cold water should be splashed, too!
As much as I’ve carried my Jason Creed torch for most of my two and a half decades on the planet, I’ve never dreamt about him while asleep before this.
I have my sexual fantasies about the tall, dirty-blond, inked Adonis when I’m awake and imagining him with a dirty mouth, telling me how much he wants me, explaining in explicit detail what he’s going to do to me.
How many nights have I lain in my bed with the window open, watching the breeze move my gauzy curtains while I imagine he suddenly appears in my window, the moon at his back, lust in his gaze?
Too many.
And no more!
Things weren’t super clear to me about why I decided to do this today, beyond not wanting Jase to face danger, but I’ve thought more about it, and I think this is my closure.
Yep, closure in a way that saves face while also helping out. And I can walk away with my head held high because I’ll have given him tools to help himself in case of an emergency. And I’ll be walking away making it clear that I’m not pining for him.
I excuse myself and the nice lady twists sideways, scrunching up to give me room to get into the aisle and make my way to the restroom.
I didn’t tell a soul at home where I was going, what I was doing, but I did leave a note on the fridge for my parents to tell them I had something important to do for the pack and that I would be back in a few days.
I’m going to get these things to Jase, check into a nice hotel, do some sightseeing, spend two more nights at the hotel, then fly home.
A mini getaway that will signal a new start along with some soul-searching about an opportunity that landed in my lap via the text message I got just minutes before I turned my phone to airplane mode.
I closed the library early today, messaging Audrey to ask if she could take care of things the next couple days, to ask Leona to help if she needs to.
Audrey helps out part-time and she was already scheduled for tomorrow.
I know she’ll take good care of everything while I’m gone.
I also know she’ll need Leona’s help because the folks staying in the town hall are devouring books while they’re hunkered down and waiting to move to their new land.
And Leona hangs out at the library often when Audrey works anyway, so I’m hoping she won’t mind.
Although the library will be in capable hands, I’m not feeling as good about leaving Mom and Dad right now. Things haven’t been good since Grey’s bio mom did what she did.
I know it’s only been a couple days and while Mom seems fine physically since coming home from the hospital, it’s Dad I’m concerned with.
He’s not himself. Of course not… his former mate hurt Mom, held his son’s mate captive, and meant to do harm. And now she’s dead. She’s dead at Grey’s hands and of course my father would have feelings about all that, especially with how Grey’s bio mom almost killed him as an infant.
My parents are always touching one another, always snuggling on the couch or on the porch swing. My father is a super alpha, so pretty strong and macho, but there’s constant affection and togetherness with them.
He melts whenever he sets eyes on my mother, except for these last few days.
He’s distant, his eyes are cold, and he’s been spending a lot of time puttering in the garage while Mom seems to be sleeping a lot, or at least spending time alone in their bedroom more than usual.
And last night when I came down for a drink, I found Dad sleeping on the couch and all Mom’s houseplants were bone dry.
I stepped outside and so were the flowerbeds. Mom doesn’t ignore her garden. Ever.
At least Grey is nearby. I sent him a text message this morning before I left asking him to check on Dad, telling him that things aren’t right, and he replied immediately saying it was already on his to-do list.
Grey has a new energy about him that I love. He seems to be coping okay with what he had to do with his biological mother, and I hope he’s as good as he seems.
My brother has always been a force. Strong, intuitive, ridiculously smart, and very caring. But with what he's recently been through, the power he’s come into… he’s even stronger, almost like he’s Super Greyson.
Grey is now for all intents and purposes the leader of the Young coven and he’s demonstrated some scary-strong ability to tap into coven powers.
And he’s mated and expecting twins. I’m super-happy for my big brother, though I can’t help but feel a little cheated in the DNA department.
He gets to be an extra-alpha, a council member, and a warlock coven leader who is now learning to wield magic.
And here’s little ole me… also half-shifter but not one who can even shift.
Grey gets half-shifter DNA and half-witch.
And his half-shifter DNA is enough to classify him as a super-alpha.
While I try hard not to disparage my human genes because that’s who Mom is, I can’t help the occasional niggling wish that I was something special.
That I was fated for something amazing. Maybe then I could also shift.
I’ve always said it feels like there’s something missing.
And I think it’s where my wolf would be if I’d been granted one.
My teen years crawled by slowly while I watched everyone in my peer group get to experience their first shift.
I held onto hope for a while that I was just a late bloomer.
But alas, if it was going to happen it would’ve happened long before now.
I don’t know of any half-blooded shifters who had their first shift at age twenty-five or later. I’ve dug into it, hoping, and nope.
I’m not even affected by the moon the way everyone else is. The only real sign of my shifter heritage, beyond looking a little like Dad and Grey is my strong sense of smell, which seems to be about as strong as an alpha’s.
After making use of the facilities, I splash my flushed cheeks with cool water in the tight space.
The hand soap smells like green apple candy.
Flashes of that dream assault me and do it hard, filling my veins with hot lava while drenching my underwear.
These sensations are intense. But too quickly, they turn into something prickly and unpleasant because now I’m envisioning the way he looked at me in the town hall.
And the words that flew from his angry mouth.
“This bullshit has to stop.”
I wanted to curl up and cry.
“Don’t make me spell it out, kiddo.”
All those pitying eyes on me. Ugh…
And I’m sure Jase will give me more attitude for showing up in Italy.
But I’m also kind of looking forward to that.
Because as much as I’ve been telling myself I’m over my unrequited love, because I want that to be true, clearly I still care enough to drop everything and spend almost half a month’s salary on the airfare to help him protect himself.
I don’t think I could live with myself if I didn’t do whatever I could do to help.
It’s like a final homage to the feelings I have for him. Had! The feelings I had for him.
And I’m also pretty sure with the way he’s been with me lately that whatever attitude he gives me will make me think, yep… here’s the nail in the Bailey Loves Jase coffin. Finally.
No, Jason Creed hasn’t ever treated me like a possible romantic interest, but until the last few months he hadn’t treated me so indifferently.
In fact, I have memories that’ll stay with me always of times in my life when the way Jase treated me made me sure I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
Yes, I was infatuated with him from a very young age, but he was always just so incredible.
He always treated everyone so well. No matter how old or young you were, it was clear that Jase got joy out of caretaking.
It was amplified even further once it was announced he was part of the council.
He takes his job of council alpha seriously, cares about not just the safety of the pack but also the wellbeing and happiness, too.
He’s always doing things for others. Thoughtful, kind things.
My emotions where he’s concerned have always been about much more than his looks.
More than his muscles. Like when he lifted me from the playground with my bleeding knees and read his awful sister the riot act for tripping me.
Or when he danced with me at a teen dance after tying his flannel shirt around my waist for me after Sherry’s beet juice prank made it look like I’d gotten my period.