Chapter 18 #2
“Sorry!” he repeats. “I’ll make us some coffee. How do you take it?”
“Don’t bother.”
I know just how he takes his coffee – double cream, double sugar. But he’s never paid attention to the fact I take mine the exact same way, because of watching him drink coffee before I ever tried it, so of course he wouldn’t know that.
When I emerge from the bathroom in a robe while towel drying my hair, I stumble and nearly trip again. Because he’s lying on my bed, not the trundle bed – he’s just where I slept last night! He’s still in his underwear and he’s got his nose to one of my pillows.
“Fallin’ for me?” he quips.
“Nope,” I state firmly. “That ship sailed. Sailed and caught on fire before it sank. Put my pillow down, please. That’s just… creepy.”
As if I didn’t smell his pillow each time he crashed here the bazillion times he slept over when he and Grey were younger.
“Apples,” he says, taking another big whiff. “You never smelled like apples before.”
I frown. I don’t use apple shampoo or bodywash. I won’t let myself think about what Jase smells like. Because I memorized his warm, spicy, cinnamon scent a very long time ago. Though I refuse to think about that right now. Nope – not thinking about how apples and cinnamon go perfectly together…
He says, “Then just as you flopped into me in that car we were thinkin’ would take us to the airport, that’s what you smelled like.
Dreamt about apples on the flight over. Dreamt you handed me one, then I woke up.
Used to dream about apples, dream I’d be trying to get them, but they were always out of reach.
And a second after I knew you were mine, I blacked out.
Since then, you’ve been out of reach, too. I fucked up, Bailey. I’m really sor–”
“Whatever,” I stomp into my closet and slam the door behind me. But my face is flaming, so is my neck. I’m remembering that sensual dream I had about Jase on the flight. And him telling me I smelled like an apple he wanted to take a bite out of.
I feel lightheaded now because the conversation I had with the passenger beside me who knitted the baby booties on the flight washes over me. Baby booties for my daughter. A baby girl and a puppy.
My eyes land on my still-packed carry-on sitting on the floor and oh fuck… I’m feeling like I’m on the verge of a panic attack at all the sensations flooding me right now, but he opens my closet door and this instantly changes my headspace.
“I need to get dressed!” I inform, extra-snottily.
He frowns and gives me a disapproving look. “I’m tryin’ to say I’m sorry, Bay. This isn’t you. This-” He eyes me from head to toe- “This attitude. You don’t act like this.”
“I guess this is the new me,” I snap.
He snaps back, “You need to cool it and fuckin’ listen to me. Let me explain.”
“I don’t need to do anything, Jason. You’re the one who needs to do something, namely get out of here so I can get dressed. You already explained and I don’t care what you have to say. I need coffee and I need to get to the library.”
He pulls in a big breath, eyeing me from head to toe, looking frustrated before he blows out a frustrated sigh. “So, you’re giving me a dose of my own medicine. Message received, Bailey.”
“This isn’t me giving you anything. I’m beyond done giving you everything.
We’re in the same pack and you’re Grey’s best friend and on the council so I’ll have to deal with seeing you around, but I want no part of any of what you want here.
Your apology is unnecessary. It won’t make a lick of difference. ”
Because it’s empty. It’s empty because he doesn’t get it and won’t even try to get it. He’s just a talking head telling me what he thinks will get him into my pants.
“But you did though. You wanted me for a long time.” He leans in, eyes devouring me.
I ignore the flutter it generates and practically spit, “And you’re even more of an asshole for throwing that in my face right now, you cocky jackass!”
He sighs and raises his hands defensively. “Time out. I’m gonna shower,” he says.
“I’m going to work.”
“I’ll come. We’ll get some coffee and sit down and have a conversation about all this.”
“There’s nothing to say. You don’t need to come with me. In fact, I’d prefer you didn’t. I have a busy day ahead of me.”
“Told ya… until I’ve claimed you and spent a week or two getting to know every inch of your body and making sure you’re not only wearing my mark but also that you smell like me, I’m your shadow.” He turns and struts to the bathroom.
I tear my eyes off his firm bubble butt and mutter, “Not if I can help it.”
After quickly getting clothes on, I grab my phone and my purse, rushing downstairs and straight out the door without speaking to my father who’s sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee.
***
By the time the library’s coffee pot beeps signaling the coffee is ready, Jase is pounding on the locked library door.
I pretend not to hear it while I stir my coffee.
His scent wafts in a minute later and I see he got the spare keys from the supply room. Damn. I shoot him a dirty look and march into the bathroom with my coffee and my purse so I can put some makeup on and deal with my wet, unbrushed hair.
I’ve already sent a text to my council group chat, telling them I’m here and am going to dig in to see what I can find on Jared Stone and his pack.
When I come out, Jase’s drinking from my Librarian: The Original Search Engine mug.
“Just so you know, I’m keepin’ score,” he informs.
“Meaning?” I ask while heading for my desk.
“Look at me.”
I glance up at him.
“Every little stunt so far. Leavin’ without me overseas and now again this morning. Lockin’ me out. I’m keeping count. And the number is gonna translate to your punishment when I finally get my hands on you.”
I work hard to hide my feelings on the threat, damning both the biology that makes my body react as well as him for reading this fact and mutter, “What. Ever.”
I pass him to get to my semicircular desk, where I do all my work for the pack as well as where people bring their books to check out or return.
I love our little library. We’ve got three computers, plus mine, and over seventy-four-hundred books, which I’m very proud of.
I’ve increased our book count by over four thousand in the four years since I took over from Brenda, the last librarian who moved out of town to be near her daughter Susan’s new pack once she had a bunch of grandbabies for her.
Susan was Joel’s girlfriend until she was claimed by an alpha from another pack. Grey bought Brenda’s house and I got her old job. We still talk semi-regularly as she runs the library for her new pack.
Our library has some comfy furniture as well as plenty of tables and chairs and a handful of small desks for people who want a quiet place to work on projects or crafts.
Part of the library’s collection of books includes about two thousand children’s books. I’m also pretty proud of our children’s play zone in the back with beanbag chairs as well as plenty of educational toys and craft supplies.
The Moonshine Springs pack (previously Silver Hills) kids have been getting plenty of use of this stuff, which reminds me…
I should let Addy and Misty know I’m back and can do circle and story time with the kids.
They’re only going to be here a little longer before they move to their new land and Misty wants to set up a library there.
She’s only sixteen, but I see a lot of myself in her and told her I’d be happy to mentor her and help her get it all set up once their pack gets settled in their new home.
My phone chimes.
Audrey: OMG OMGOMGOMGOMG
I write back.
Everything ok?
She’s immediately typing.
“What do you want for breakfast?” Jase asks. “I’m gonna get food sent over from Roxy’s.”
In truth, I am hungry. I only ate three bites of breakfast yesterday, followed by a few bites of dinner last night.
In fact, I’ve hardly eaten anything in a couple days, my mental state getting in the way of my appetite.
But no way am I going to have him thinking he’s riding to my rescue by ordering me food.
“I want nothing from you,” I say simply.
My phone bloops with Audrey’s reply.
Audrey: DUH. YOU and Jase!!!! Bailey+Jase! EEK! I’m so freaking happy for you babe. Me and Leona wanted to throw a party for you. In fact, I think we WILL throw you a party. As soon as you guys are out and about after your time.
I write back.
No party necessary. He’s here at the library with me as he’s following me around but believe me, there’s no cause for celebration.
She phones me.
I answer with, “Hey. Can we catch up later?”
“Do you not want me to come in and take care of it today for you?”
“No, I’m here. I’m good.”
“You’ll need help. I’m on my way. So’s Lee.”
She’s talking about Leona. “I don’t really need help today, Aud.”
“People are going to descend,” she says simply before the line goes dead.
Is she not there?
“Aud?”
She’s already hung up. Shit.
“You gotta eat, Bay. What do you like?” Jase asks, thumbing away on his phone.
He knows nothing about what I like. Because he’s never paid attention.
I know everything he likes. I know all about him.
How he takes his coffee, how he prefers his eggs.
How he likes his steak done. What condiments go on his sandwiches and on his burger or hot dog.
And on and on. Because I’ve paid far too much attention.
“I said I don’t want anything from you,” I mutter while booting up my computer.
I quickly fire a text message off to Audrey.
Me: You don’t need to come.
By the time I open my email on my desktop, she’s responded to my text.
Audrey: It’s already getting around that you’re making him sweat, gonna make him work for it.
Leona saw from her window yesterday when he went flying backwards.
When you threw stuff out the window. We are HERE for it.
Good for you, gf! Must be hard to hold back and not jump his bones. Kudos. See you soon.