Chapter 19
JASE
Grey, Joel, and Linc left a while ago and finally, the girls hovering most of the day are gone, too.
Bailey spent too much time in Linc’s and Joel’s orbits.
And that wasn’t easy. At first, they were crowding her at her desk until I insisted they move their asses.
They teased me for it, but wisely moved a desk with a computer to right beside the door and sat there while I parked my ass between them and my mate.
It only helped a miniscule amount because for the last few hours I’ve felt like I’m gearing up for a fight. It’s not good. I can’t be beating the snot out of my council brothers. This isn’t their fault.
She often helps Joel and Linc with research. The pack doesn’t call her our very own Wikipedia for nothing. And today, I paid even closer attention to this.
Watching her work, listening to her talk things out with those guys… despite that she impresses me with her fact-finding skills, with the way she thinks, and how she naturally fits as if she’s our unofficial eighth council member – it was all clouded by those guys being far too close.
Of course I know they’re my brothers; they’d never even look at her the wrong way and would put their own necks on the line to protect her.
Still, it doesn’t matter… the jealousy and possessiveness is built-in.
I’ve heard about it. I’ve witnessed it. I definitely dreaded it.
But I’ve never fully appreciated it until now.
Now I know why males feel jealous. Now I know firsthand because I don’t want her in reaching distance of them.
I don’t want her in sniffing distance. And I can’t even handle her smiling at them – it makes my blood boil.
Because I want it all. I want her touch.
Her fragrance. Her undivided attention. I want her all to myself. But she refuses to give me any of it.
The guys have broken off to go work more on the Jared and Cicely thing and despite the steady flow all day of my pack members as well as Brody’s pack traipsing in and out, we’re alone. Finally.
After watching her at her computer for a while, she moves to the back corner, shelving books, pretending I’m not here.
I stroll up and cage her against the bookshelf with my hands holding onto shelves on either side of her.
Her shoulders bunch up and she stays frozen.
Being this close, being alone, finally it feels like some of the tension is leaving my body.
Fuck, the scent of her has me ready. My cock is painfully hard, my nuts are aching like they’ve never ached.
I think I’ve got the worst case of blue balls known to super-alphas since the beginning of time.
And my gums have been aching for days, too.
Like a teething pup. Because I need to sink my canines into that mouthwatering spot by her collarbone.
I want my mark on her. I want her marks on me. Teeth marks. Nail marks. Her scent.
But I can’t touch her. Can’t put my mouth on her. Can’t even touch her soft-looking hair. Forty-eight hours to go. It feels like forever, but it’s progress from seventy-two and this helps me to push my frustration aside for the moment.
She ducks, about to scoot under my arm, but I drop my hands down a shelf, effectively trapping her.
She spins around to face me, fiery-eyed.
“You fight dirty, Jason Creed.”
“Damn right it’s gonna be dirty, Bay. You’ve known me your whole life. Do I or do I not bring my A-game every time?
“That’s the problem, Jase. This is a game to you.”
“But you already know I’m a fierce competitor. And it should say somethin’ to you that this? This is the most important game to me. I’m ready for my prize. A prize I never knew was mine and one that I’m beyond ready to win.”
Anger gives way to something else as her eyes scan my frame and I watch her lashes lower just slightly as her gaze traces my mouth.
Is she affected by my proximity? Of course she is. She was affected before. Does she feel it more intensely now that Fate decided it’s time?
“Hey,” I whisper, before I give her a smile.
She swallows. My eyes zero in on her mouth as she moistens her lips. I can’t believe how sexy her mouth is.
It’s a good thing I never noticed, because it would’ve been a betrayal to Grey to even look.
I guess I just never thought to look at her this way.
She was always around, always Bailey, and unfortunately, the fact that I didn’t take notice stings for her now.
But what sort of creep pays attention to a female blossoming when she’s eight years younger?
When she’s his best friend’s little sister who’s made it obvious she’s got a crush on you?
And maybe I thought of her as family, I don’t know.
I do know I’ve slapped more than a few betas upside their heads for remarks they’ve made about her rack or her ass.
Though I’ve done that when they’ve talked that way about other girls in the pack, too. Not just Bailey.
“What do you want from me?” she demands.
“You know what I want, Bay,” I rasp, moving in a little closer, mindful I don’t let the magnetic pull cloud my sense of self-preservation. I don’t need to get shocked again. “I want it all. Call Danica and tell her to call it off. Let me touch you. Let’s get started on that happily-ever-after.”
She shivers.
“We both know you’re primed,” I say, moving in that little bit more so I can pull more of her scent into my nose.
Shampoo with coconuts. Laundry soap. Bailey…
that smell from my dreams that I’ve been preparing to recognize for much of my life.
What did she smell like to me before? She sure didn’t smell like this.
As much as I’m an alpha who knows the scent of everyone in my pack, strangely I can’t describe what she smelled like before Italy.
Her body straightens up. “Don’t be crude,” she says.
But she’s feeling it. She’s aroused. She wants me. Or, at least her body does, even if her head is telling her to hold onto this= grudge.
“I can’t wait to touch you. To taste you. Forty-eight hours to go, isn’t it?”
Her gaze narrows. But I smell her readiness. And her cheeks are flushed. I’m affecting her more than she’ll admit.
“Not if I get my way,” she fires back, angry little creases between her eyebrows.
And now her expression drops. The fire is out and what’s left is… sadness? Her bottom lip trembles and she looks like she’s fighting tears. My stomach bottoms out at the look on her face.
“Don’t do that to me,” I rasp. “Don’t do it to yourself. Don’t keep denying this just to make a point. You’ve made it. I fucked up and I’ve said I’m sorry. Let me off the hook. Give me what we both want, Bay.”
“I don’t want what you think I want.”
“Tell me what you do want. What you want the most. Beyond the bullshit you’re spouting about wanting me to go away. Tell me what you want and I’ll bust my ass to give it to you.”
“You can’t give me this.”
“Try me.”
She huffs. “I didn’t want a future with you out of it being a biological reaction for you. But you never saw me.” She puts her hand to her heart. “You didn’t, did you, Jason? It’s too late. You only want me because I suddenly smell a certain way.”
Fuck. The look of devastation on her face is making my guts churn.
She goes on. “I wanted a life with someone who can’t imagine doing life without me.
Not because it’s an urge, like a bodily function.
I deserve to be with someone who’s unable to imagine their children being born to anybody but me.
And I knew you’d been with other females, trust me, I’ve swallowed that humiliation too many times to count.
But I don’t care about the past as much as everyone thinks.
I need to believe down to my soul that a male can’t fathom being pressed naked against another female ever again.
If I wanted you, maybe I wanted you unable to imagine choosing anyone else.
I don’t have that, can’t ever have it, and I want not one fucking thing to do with being bound to you like this. ”
“I’ve never imagined anyone else, Bay.”
“Oh, you never imagined fucking Dani?”
“I never envisioned a future with anyone. Never got serious with anybody before. I knew I’d identify my fated mate eventually, so I intentionally kept things casual.
And you’re asking for something that goes against an alpha’s biology.
We don’t know until we know. And you know that, Bailey.
So what you’re saying makes it sound like you’d prefer a beta male and we both fuckin’ know that’s not the truth.
We both fuckin’ know you wanted me.” I slap my chest.
The library door opens and she takes the opportunity to slip past me.
Danica Young.
My lip curls and I don’t try to hide how I feel about this witch waltzing in here like this.
My mate walks right up and hugs her.
Danica wraps her arms around Bailey and singes me with a dirty look.
I need air. I need to shift. I need to rip a fucking hole in the sky with my bare claws.
Fuck! I can’t shift and run. I’m not walking away from Bailey. So I guess I’ll drop my clothes, shift, and pace the fuckin’ parking lot.