Chapter 31 #2
He says, “Plus you’ll follow up with the SCC to see if that witch you talked to yesterday will help you keep me at arm’s length, right?
Then we’ll go to that meeting with the council and the coven and you’ll cry the blues telling everyone how much of an asshole I am and how much you don’t want to be with me. ”
“Pretty much,” I say coldly, folding my arms over my chest.
“I’ve had enough of you ignoring me, you runnin’ away from me, and you instigating shit with those witches. Then you try and make a fuckin’ date! Not to mention you’re gone last night, for hours, and do you know what that did to me?”
I roll my eyes while cutting him off. “Aw, did you worry I went to a bar to find a wild, hot hookup? Gimme a break.”
He slaps the dashboard, startling me.
“You tried to make a date, why wouldn’t I worry about that? You and your body are mine, Bailey; don’t you dare try to give what’s mine to any fucking body else.”
“Maybe I should have! And maybe I will!”
Anger flares in his eyes.
I’m on a roll. “What about what’s mine, Jason? No wait. You’ve never been mine. You’ve given it out all kinds. Why shouldn’t I do the same?”
“Anyone who lays as much as a finger on you answers to me,” he vows.
“Maybe I’ll leave town and do it. Go wild. You never wanted me but maybe somebody will…”
“Maybe I’ll fuckin’ follow you wherever you go to make sure you can’t. Maybe last night’s little outing will be your last one alone until you’re claimed. Wanted to track you down last night, but thought I’d give you space. Show some trust. Now I know that’d be a mistake.”
I laugh. This is rich.
He pulls off onto a dirt road and parks the car before he looks at me and says, “Do not let anyone lay a finger on you, Bailey. I don’t care if they’re shifter or human, or even a god.
I will end them. Do not think I’m joking.
Nobody touches you but me. Use your head, baby, and don’t do something you can’t undo. ”
My head is about to explode.
“You a virgin, Bay?” he demands, looking me over with a judgmental expression I don’t remotely appreciate.
“Take me home, Jason.”
He leans closer. Too close.
“Did you know it makes my cock harder whenever you call me Jason? It’s been hard since I knew you were mine but you actin’ sassy like this gets my motor runnin’ even harder.”
“Shut up! You’ve always teased me that Jason was my first word. I never made you hard, ever, except for this past week. The longest, most miserable week of my life!”
“The hardest week of my life too, Bay, and pun intended. Are you seriously trying to tell me you haven’t thought about us being together in the past few days? Even if you’re mad at me? I’ve smelled your arousal, baby…”
“Mad doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel, Jase.”
“Please tell me you’ve saved it for me. I’m gonna make it so good for you.”
Sweet words, but certainly not delivered that way. His eyes are glittering with anger and frustration.
“Please shut the fuck up.”
I’m seething. I glare at him, adding, “What if I’m not?”
“Then I’d be shocked. Yeah, a little disappointed, though I have no right to be. I’ll get over it. Doesn’t matter because you’re mine now and that means nobody ever touches you but me until the end of time. But I think you saved it for me. And that makes me very fucking happy.”
“Hmpf.”
He’s being such a callous asshole right now.
“So… did you?”
“Honestly, it’s none of your business.”
He’s not only being incredibly jealous and possessive right now, there’s an edge to him right now that’s downright mean.
“Ya think?”
“I do. I also think you’re a sex-obsessed man whore.”
“Maybe I was. But this man whore now belongs to just one female until the end of time and I’m more than good with it.
Just sayin’… I have a feeling once I finally get to have you, finally experience the knot after you denying me all this time…
guessin’ I’ll be more sex-obsessed than ever.
Best of luck with that.” He flashes a wide smile. But he’s still got that angry edge.
“I can’t believe you,” I mutter.
“Believe it. Smell you, Bailey. Can’t wait to fuckin’ taste you. Find out if you taste like you smell. Like sweet apple pie.”
He slowly inhales and gives me a wide smile, all that angry edge gone. The dimples pop and I look away.
As angry as I am, now he’s getting to me. And it’s infuriating.
Argh. Why does he have to say things that set my clit on fire? And why does he get to know it?
My clit isn’t just on fire this time, it’s also throbbing. And it feels like my body is betraying me because I’m angry. Very angry. Yep, I’m way more angry than aroused.
“If I have my way, you won’t ever touch me,” I state coldly.
His expression drops.
“You hate me that much?”
“Yes!” I exclaim.
And we stare at one another for what feels like an eternity.
I’m breathing hard. My chest hurts. My head hurts.
The anger has left his face. Now I’m looking at pain. And so is he.
And I’m not enjoying this. Not at all. And I can tell he isn’t either.
He leans in so close our noses nearly touch, and though I know he can’t touch me, my heartrate is picking up pace as I shrink against the door.
I refuse to give headspace to the fact that part of me wants to close the gap. It’s a strange, inexplicable, broken part of me.
With more pain on his face than I can stand, he says, “The fact that you’d follow me around for nearly two decades like I’m the man of your dreams to suddenly deciding you want nothing to do with me tells me a lot about you, Bailey.”
“What’s that?” I manage to rasp.
He backs away.
“That you’re immature,” he practically spits.
“That it was just a stupid crush you had. If it had any depth at all, you wouldn’t be acting like this.
All I’ve done is live my life. I knew I’d find a mate some day but had no idea when it’d happen until the council members started droppin’ like flies.
No idea if it’d be a perfect stranger or someone right under my nose.
The other four all fell for strangers so odds were I would too.
Did I handle things badly? I know I did.
Stress made me act like an asshole. Giving a shit about your feelings made me hurt them.
I fucked up and I’ve apologized repeatedly.
Telling you I want you. I want us. And I do, even though you’re being so fucking heartless. Being unlike the Bailey I know.”
“The Bailey that irritated you like a pest for so many years,” I add.
He frowns. “I didn’t love you like a fated mate before this but I sure fuckin’ did for who you were.
Though you’re showing me you aren’t who I thought.
Everyone’s saying you’ve been pining for me in a way that’s deeper than a schoolgirl crush.
But if you felt something real, wouldn’t you be ecstatic that it’s you for me? ”
“You hurt me. You hurt my heart and you hurt my pride repeatedly, humiliating me, dismissing me callously. You weren’t trying to spare my feelings.
You wanted me out of the way when you met your dream girl.
So I wouldn’t annoy you. So you wouldn’t have to feel bad.
And I’m mad as hell about all of this. I’m sick of this bullshit around here where the alpha gets what the alpha wants, fuck what everyone else wants or doesn’t want.
Tyson got away with rutting Ivy in front of the pack and she had to suck it up because they’re mates, because she’s bonded to him.
I saw how badly he devastated her. If she wasn’t biologically tied to him, do you think she’d be here?
Your own sister is mourning an asshole who treated her horribly.
Would she be grieving him without the stupid mate bond?
You treat me like shit for weeks and suddenly now I’m just supposed to be like…
oh! Jason wants me now because of how I smell.
Yay! I’ll just open my legs and my feelings don’t have to matter because I’m so, so lucky to land a super-alpha.
Which is such bullshit. And that’s why I want the laws changed, so biology doesn’t have to mean forever.
Love shouldn’t be unconditional. It should come with conditions, including respect. ”
He looks at me for a long minute and I’m immensely uncomfortable. None of this feels good. Not what I’ve said. Not what he’s said.
“I’ve been stewing in the fact that I fucked up,” he says quietly, looking ahead now.
“I hurt you and I meant it when I apologized. It’s been eating at me.
Not only because it means you’re keeping me away, punishing me.
Because I hate that I hurt you. Hate seeing it written all over you so much.
But if you’re the sort of person who has zero capability for forgiveness…
none at all?” He swallows, shaking his head, looking really disappointed before he lands a blow that manages to hit hard.
“Maybe Fate fucked up. Maybe we don’t belong together. ”
He opens the door, gets out of my car, and walks away.
And my heart twists into a big, fat knot while I watch him do it.
Yeah, this is the only knot I’m letting myself have.
I sit with my feelings, with my emotions, and I do it for a long time.
Because there’s no more escaping them. I think I’m finally fully processing all of this.
And it doesn’t feel good. It feels the farthest from good that I can imagine.
I have no doubt in my mind that requesting this law change is the right thing.
But if I’m totally honest, I am wrestling with whether or not to request a severance.
Maybe he’ll be the one to do it now, so he can get rid of the urge to claim me and make this all go away.
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a yipping pup. It sounds like that same pup I heard yesterday inside the library and again later at the cookout.
I get out of the car and draw the air into my senses slowly, analyzing what I smell. Trees, grass, earth, other nature scents. No wolf shifters, wolves, or dogs.