11. Chapter 11 Gummy Bear Confessions #2
I give a small, tired smile. “I know I married a man with walls around his big heart. And for a while, I loved trying to break through them. But I can’t keep living this way.”
I stand up and lean in to kiss him, hoping to ease the tension.
“I’ll think about therapy,” he murmurs.
That’s progress, I guess.
“Oh, how could I forget? Izzy gave us something fun to try,” I lie, although technically she would. I grab my purse off the counter and hand him the bag of edible gummies. “Might help us relax. What do you say?”
He flashes that handsome smirk, his eyes meeting mine with a quiet trust that tugs at my heartstrings. For a moment, the tension between us feels a little lighter. And hopefully, in a few more minutes, a little higher too.
That night, Jacob and I lie next to each other in our king-size bed. Kids sleeping? Check. Gummies taken? Check. Nothing’s happening? Unfortunately… check.
“Do you feel anything?” I ask, breaking the silence.
“It’s too soon, honey. Give it time,” Jacob says, getting up to lock our bedroom door. “About what you said earlier…”
I interrupt quickly, switching to a ridiculous British, possibly Irish accent.
“Don’t talk about it! The only thing you should be doing is taking off your pants. Now. ”
Jacob chuckles, stepping closer. “I was going to say… I want to be more open with you. But you have to do the same with me.”
I know he’s right. If we keep shutting each other out, if we never push past the silence, what does that do to us? To our marriage? I think about how lonely it is to sit in the same room as someone you love, but feel like you’re worlds apart.
I say nothing, the gummy haze starting to swirl in my head. “Ready to make me not scream so I don’t wake up the girls?” I giggle, feeling something funny stir inside.
Jacob’s seriousness melts away, replaced by a playful grin. He crawls toward me on the bed, growling softly like a predator on the prowl. Then—
Thud.
He collapses dramatically, his face landing right between my legs.
“Grrr… tiger down,” he mumbles, his voice muffled against my thigh.
I laugh, trying to shift under his weight. Tiger? More like wounded middle-aged cat. “Are you okay… down there?”
“Shhh.” He lifts his head, smiling. “I’m conserving my energy,” he says, struggling to peel his shirt off. “You know how sexy you are, right?” His effort to seduce is not exactly smooth, but it’s endearing. And damn, he still looks damn good with his fit dad bod.
“I love you, Jinx.” His voice softens, vulnerability slipping through as his lips brush against my skin. “I don’t want to lose you… And I know how we can connect deeper.”
I know too. It’s the one time I truly feel connected with him. No words. No disappointments. No problems. Just us. And years of knowing exactly what the other needs, reading each other’s bodies like a memorized manual.
If only we had a manual for the rest of our marriage.
“I can think of a few ways with your mouth,” I murmur, my breath hitching. “But maybe…” My voice trails off before the words just slip out. “Maybe we need to find more ways outside the bedroom.”
Did I just say that out loud?
“Shhh.” Jacob’s smirk returns. “Close your legs and open your mouth. Let me show you how much I want you.”
“Wait…” My brows furrow, my brain working overtime. “Don’t you mean close my mouth and open my legs?”
We burst into real laughter. The kind that brings us closer together. The kind we’ve been missing for a long time.
“Both work, Jinx…” he says, his lips already getting me wet and ready. “Mmm, you taste even better than when we first met. Like aged fine wine. I could stay here forever.”
I erupt into full-on stomach-clenching giggles. A weird mix of hunger, horniness, and hope is brewing inside me. He loves me. I love him. We can make this work.
As his head disappears between my legs, I try to sink into the moment. His tongue hits all the right spots. Fingers moving like magic wands. This feels good. My body feels good.
It’s saying hell yes.
“Right there, baby,” I whimper, gripping the sheets. I should say more. Something sexy. Instead, I climb on top of him, taking back some control.
“Ride my cock, just like that,” Jacob groans, hands tight on my hips. “Come for me. You look so hot.”
But my brain? It’s saying hell no.
I squeeze my eyes shut. Focus. Be present. Have an orgasm. You like orgasms. This is your husband. This is good. This is—
Magic Mike. Channing Tatum. That upside-down thing he did on the pole.
Nope. Still nothing.
Izzy. Oh God, why the hell am I thinking about her?
ABORT. One-eyed aliens. Flaming tacos. What’s in this gummy?
I glance down to see Jacob’s sexy eyes looking up at me as I grind harder and faster on him. Better. Okay. My body starts responding. I start moaning. It’s coming.
And then… BAM. Dylan’s smile flickers through my head. His hands. Just his hands.
No. Not now.
Fuck. On second thought. Yes, right now. Dylan. Dylan. Dylan.
And then—double BAM. Explosions. My body lets go.
His follows, fast and hard.
And laughter… from both of us. I rest on top of him, breathless.
Jacob kisses me, handing me the roll of toilet paper we keep in his nightstand. Our lazy, slightly weird way of avoiding ruining the sheets. “We still got it, baby.”
But as I lie there, his arm across me, and toilet paper between my legs, guilt starts to swirl in every corner of my mind.
And the high starts to wear off just enough to make the heaviness creep back in.
We do still got it. The sex was great. He’s not a bad guy.
He’s the father of my two beautiful kids.
What the hell is wrong with me?
My stomach, that’s what. It won't stop growling. Gummies plus sex equals serious munchies.
Jacob passes out almost immediately afterward and starts snoring like a bear who’s been hibernating for months.
I tiptoe to the bathroom to get cleaned up, trying not to laugh.
When I catch my reflection in the mirror, I let out a snort.
I look like I just had sex with my hair.
I mean bear. My husband. My bear husband. Damn it.
I throw on pajamas and head straight to the kitchen, ready to eat the entire damn fridge.
Peanut butter. Nutella. Bananas. This might not be a good combo with pasties. Unless… I add ice cream! Problem solved.
I probably shouldn’t grab my phone. But of course I do, and I start texting Izzy.
Me: Hardcore sex session complete. Let’s see if your advice works, and I only have wet dreams tonight.
Me: Also, um, please don’t wear anything sexy tomorrow… I just thought about you during sex. With your brother.
Send.
I take another spoonful of Ben ) Sweet dreams, Jenna. Talk to you when you're sober.
I stare at the stupid winking emoji. Guilt and exhilaration twist in my gut.
Crap.
I’m in deep dolphin shit.