26. Chapter 26 Jinxed Winter Wonderland
Jenna: December
I sit in a dimly lit cafe, days after my cover was blown. Since everything started falling apart, one crack at a time. So I’ve been avoiding everyone. Even Dylan.
I’ve been here for hours, rehearsing what to say, staring at a cold cup of tea I’ve barely touched. The bell above the door jingles, and my heart sinks as my mother walks in.
“Are you ready to explain?” she asks, sliding into the booth across from me, her tone like she’s scolding a child.
“Explain what?” My voice is steady, but cold as steel. “It’s probably over.”
“How did it even start? How could you do that to your family? To Jacob. To your daughters? Did you even think about how this will ruin them? You’re no better than your father.” Her words slice through me.
“Don’t you dare judge me,” I snap, the blood rising in my veins. “Do you think this is easy? That I wanted to hurt anyone? That I don’t hate myself for it every single day?”
The words spill out faster than I can stop them.
“You think I want to feel invisible? Trapped in my marriage? To wake up every day praying for clarity?” The truth tears out of me.
“I didn’t plan for Dylan. I didn’t go looking for this.
But I don’t know how to resist a love I’ve been starving for my whole damn life.
He… he makes me feel loved and seen, like I matter.
And I love him, Mom. I fucking fell in love with him. ”
As the words burst out, something inside me cracks wide open.
I. Love. Him.
I think I’ve known for a while. It wasn’t one big moment, but a hundred small ones. Every time he looked at me like I wasn’t broken. Like there was something beautiful underneath all my mess. Every time he listened and showed up like he really cared.
My mom watches me, eyes flickering between worry, anger, fear, maybe heartbreak. “Do you think that’s love, Jenna?” Her voice shakes. “A man who helps you tear your family apart. What kind of man does that? What kind of woman?”
“Fine. Go ahead. Call me a whore. A liar. A cheating wife who deserves to be alone,” I mutter, lowering my voice as I glance around.
A waitress hesitates mid-step, then quietly backs away to another table.
“But what if I told you I already am? I’ve been alone for years, standing at the edge of a cliff, acting like I’m fine.
But I’m not. And I’m terrified that one day I’ll either fall off…
or have to jump. And I don’t know which is worse. ”
Her face softens, but she stays quiet, listening, watching me spiral.
“I’m not asking for forgiveness,” I continue, my voice breaking. “But I can’t change what happened. And please, stop looking at me like I’m a monster for being human.”
Her eyes fill with tears, but they don’t match mine. “Then leave Jacob. Stop lying to him, to yourself, to everyone around you. Or end things with Dylan,” she continues, unflinching. “But you don’t get to have both. That’s not love, Jenna. That’s selfishness.”
“You think it’s easy? To break my kids’ hearts? Walk away from a ten-year marriage? Choose to be a single mom and struggle how you did?” My voice wavers. “I don’t know how to make it right without destroying everything. Without destroying myself because that’s what you think I should do.”
“I never had a choice, Jenna. You do. You’re choosing this. You’re choosing to do this to your family, to…” I don’t give her a chance to finish.
“Don’t judge me,” I cry out. “Not until you know what it’s like to love a man who doesn’t know how to love you back. You have no idea what I’ve been going through, Mom. You never saw how lonely I was or how hard I’ve been trying to fix my marriage.”
Her gaze doesn’t falter. And I can’t bear to see the disappointment in her eyes, the judgment I’ve been avoiding for so long. But then I feel her hand on mine, and her eyes are filled with something I didn’t expect. Understanding.
“I’m not judging you. I just didn’t know.” Her voice is softer now. “I only want what’s best for you and your girls.”
Her words twist inside me. “I’m sorry for everything. For all the lies,” I exhale slowly, trying to pull myself together. “It’s been so fucking lonely carrying it every day. The guilt. The shame. I didn’t realize how heavy it had gotten… until now.”
She slides out of her seat and sits next to me. Then pulls me into a hug I never saw coming. “You’re not alone,” she says, holding me through my pain. “Not anymore.”
And for a brief, fragile moment, I believe her.
But just as the air starts to feel safe to breathe again… she breaks me.
“Your father, Jenna…” She pauses, her expression hardening. “He’s—” she swallows, “I got a call.”
“Just say it,” I push, my stomach twisting inside out.
She turns away, unable to look at me. “I’m still his emergency contact.” Her fingers tremble as she brushes tears away. “I wanted to tell you. I swear, but—”
Something hot and bitter rises in my throat. “Say it,” I repeat.
“He got into a car accident. He’s dead.” She spits it out like it’s poison.
The walls close in and my body turns to ice. “When?”
“A few months ago. Before your birthday.”
Silence.
The world stops. My mind and body are swallowed by numbness. “You… you didn’t think it mattered to tell me my own father died?”
Her voice is clipped, firm. “He was never in your life, Jenna. He wasn’t your father, just a man who walked away. He doesn’t deserve that title or your sympathy. And I didn’t want the last thing he gave you to be grief.”
My fingers dig into my palms and something inside me snaps. “So you decided what’s best for me?” My voice shakes, rage burning beneath my skin. “You read my mind and knew what I wanted?”
She crosses her arms. “I was trying to protect you.”
“Protect me?” My voice rises. “From what? Myself?”
She flinches and wipes her eyes. While my mind spins, grasping for something. Anything to make sense of this. But there’s nothing. No tears. No words. No closure.
Only another open wound.
And maybe that’s the worst part. Not that he’s gone. Not that she kept it from me. But that I’ll never know why he left.
I step back, scanning the room I created.
The space looks like a frosted dream, and the perfect escape I need to forget about the last twenty-four hours with my mom.
Birch branches tower over the tables, and snowflakes with icy blue jewels dangle from the ceiling.
A thin line of fake snow lines the bar edges, and soft lights wrap around the old piano.
My favorite touch? Snow globes with table numbers sealed inside.
Of course, I tripped over my own feet and smashed two of them.
Fuck. Panic creeps in. What if Izzy doesn’t bring more in time? What if Dylan’s sister hates everything? It was thrown together so quickly, but it might be my one shot to prove myself. I press a hand to my chest and take a deep breath.
No, Jenna. The desire to create is inside me for a reason. I’ve always dreamed of creating something beautiful out of nothing.
Through the windows, I spot staff members setting up, and Izzy flirting with one of the caterers before coming in. Figures. I smile. That’s Izzy for you.
“Oh my God, Jenna!!” she shouts, pulling me in for a hug and dropping the box of snow globes on the table. “You pulled it off. And it’s stunning. Why are you wasting your talent at Elegant Affairs?”
I shrug, running my fingers along the tablecloth. “It’s not that bad. I’m learning the business side. It’s experience.”
She rolls her eyes. “Babe, that place needs you more than you need them. You have everything you need to do this on your own. You also have my brother. Why can’t you let him help you?”
I glance at her, unsure how to respond. She’s right. I don’t need this job. Jacob could support me while I build my clientele.
“I’m not ready yet,” I mutter. “And I’m not my mother, who likes to rely on men to take care of her. I will start soon, promise.”
There it is. The real reason. What happens if things end with Jacob? Will I be able to support my kids without a job?
“You’re not her. You’ve got this,” she says, kissing me quickly on my lips. “Still nothing, Jinx?” she teases. “Remember that sleepover when I gave you that nickname? Who knew it’d stick this long?”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Yeah, who knew? You were so sure I was bad luck back then, and honestly, you weren’t wrong.”
Izzy waves it off. “Oh, please. You’re not bad luck, babe. You just… attract chaos. But you always make it through, don’t you?”
Her words are light, but they land heavily. My mind drifts to the past, back to when “Jinx” was just a silly, harmless joke. But it was more than that.
For a long time, I believed I was cursed, that the universe had it out for me. Every step I took seemed to leave a trail of disaster. Maybe it wasn’t the universe, though. Maybe it’s me creating chaos. Maybe my heart has always been jinxed.
I think about Ryan, the first man I ever loved. I was young and desperate for someone to see me, to love me. And he did, until he didn’t. He took everything: my teenage years, my self-worth, my belief in love. He shattered me, and I’ve been trying to piece myself back together ever since.
But it’s easier to focus on the men who came after. Like Jacob, my husband, who’s never really let me in. Loving him feels like climbing an endless wall, only to find another locked door waiting at the top. And maybe that’s why I found Dylan.
I glance at Izzy, now scrolling on her phone, oblivious to the storm brewing inside me. Dating, connection—it all seems effortless for her. But for me? It’s always been messy. I keep falling for men who can’t give me what I need.
I pause, searching for the right words. “Sometimes I think my heart is jinxed.”
Izzy glances up, eyebrows raised as she sets her phone down. “Why do you say that? Are you even happy with my brother?”