38. Chapter 38 Second Chances #3
She tugs the blanket over us, resting on my chest. I hold her close and kiss her neck, letting my lips linger.
“I love you,” I say again, softer now, like a confession I’ve held onto far too long.
“You don’t have to say it back.” I tilt her chin up and meet her eyes.
“But I need you to know… I didn’t just fall, I dove.
The moment I let you in, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you. ”
The way she glances up at me says more than words ever could.
I trace my fingers along the tattoo inked beneath her breast. Doves breaking free from a cage. Their wings are stretched wide, and a single feather on fire drifts below. It’s haunting… and beautiful.
“Ready to tell me the story behind this?” I ask gently, my voice low. “I want to know everything, Jenna. Every piece of you.”
“Dylan—” She looks away, taking in a shaky breath. “Just don’t look at me differently.”
“Hey.” I hold her face, guiding her eyes back to mine. “Nothing you say will change how I see you. To me, you’re perfect. Every part of you. Got it?”
I stay silent, giving her space to explain.
“These birds…” she murmurs. “They remind me of the day I finally broke free from my abusive ex. The day I chose to stop being his prisoner. And this…” Her hand brushes over the burning feather across her ribs.
“This is for the part of me I lost in the process.” Her voice is soft, yet heavy.
“Sometimes, I feel like this bird. I have wings. I know how to fly. But the weight of the cage I carry pulls me down.”
My heart clenches. “You don’t have to carry it alone,” I say, gently holding her.
“But the nightmares…” She trails off, her arms tightening around me.
“What about them?” I ask softly, pulling her closer.
Her gaze meets mine. “They started the same night I got this tattoo. And they haven’t stopped.
It’s like they’re keeping me stuck in the past.” She draws in a shaky breath.
“I know the brain sometimes buries trauma to protect us. But maybe it doesn’t stay buried forever.
Maybe it creeps back in, piece by piece, filling in the cracks in your mind.
And these nightmares are fragments of my memories.
Like my mind’s trying to make sense of something too painful to process. ”
Her voice falters. “And I think… Jacob knows something about them.”
A cold chill runs through me. “What do you mean?”
“I don’t know,” she chokes out. “But when I wake up screaming…. the way he looks at me? It’s like he knows what’s tormenting me, but he won’t say it.” Her eyes fill with tears. “Now… he won’t even look at me. Just turns away. And it’s driving me insane.”
I hold her tightly, wishing I could protect her—from her past, from Jacob, from anyone who dares to hurt her again.
She buries her face in my chest and hangs onto me like I’m the only thing keeping her together. “I thought the separation would help... counseling, space, all of it,” she whispers, her voice shaking. “Thought we’d figure it out, at least for the kids.”
“You’re separated?” I ask, testing the word like it might make what we are less heavy. “And you’re just telling me this now?”
I hold her through the flood of emotions. Part of me wants to be pissed. But mostly, I just want to be here for her.
She nods, pulling back slightly. “I’m sorry.
I just wanted one day with you, without all the hard stuff.
I’ve been staying with my mom. And Jacob and I have been doing this one-night-a-week thing when the girls are with mom.
Trying to make it feel normal. But I don’t even know what we’re doing anymore.
Maybe the counseling’s just a box we’re checking off to make us feel less like failures.
Or maybe we’re holding on for our girls. Either way, it sucks.”
The pit in my stomach drops. The cracks in her marriage aren’t wide enough to let me in. She’s stuck. And now that I’m finally ready for more, I don’t know how much longer I can stand waiting.
A familiar ache rises, knowing what it’s like to feel caught in the middle of my parents’ separation. Remembering how it felt when I chose my mom. I hate that her kids are now living it.
“How are the girls handling it all?” I ask softly.
She exhales, rubbing her eyes. “They’re confused. No matter how many times I say it’s not their fault, that Jacob and I love them. They keep asking questions I don’t know how to answer. They keep hoping I’ll come back home. And it kills me.”
My chest feels like it’s caving in. “You can’t stay in this uncertainty. You deserve peace. Clarity. Whatever the hell makes you happy… makes you feel like yourself.”
And we deserve more too. More than hiding. More than having only half of each other.
I look at her, wishing I could tell her everything I’ve been holding back—that I’d burn the whole damn world for her.
But I don’t. She’s already walking through hell, and I won’t be the one to drag her further in.
As much as I want to stay and fight for her, I know I’m another complication in her life.
So I just hug her a little longer, because every second is borrowed.
And I don’t know how many more I’ll get with her.