Chapter Three #2
I moved my lips back up over his chest and to his neck.
I looked up at him and waited for him to tell me what he wanted.
He didn't say anything, but my whole body was humming with nervous energy.
He looked into my eyes for a few seconds, then pulled me down on the bed, crashing his lips against mine and urgently kissing me.
I could feel the desperation, but wasn't sure if it was his or my own.
Our movements were frantic and needy. We were lying on our sides, facing one another, my hands were pressed up against his chest and he had one hand still in my hair, while the other one made its way to the back of my thigh.
My hips seemed to involuntarily move as I pushed myself closer to him.
He pulled my leg up over his hip and pressed his erection into my stomach, but that didn’t seem right.
I wanted to feel him lower. I adjusted slightly so that we were in a better position.
I could feel his hardness move into place as he pressed against me.
I had never felt an erection before, but I knew enough to know Alex was pretty impressive.
The pants he was wearing hid nothing, and I wished that I was wearing something thinner than jeans, because I needed to feel him against me.
He ground against me for a few minutes, but it wasn't enough.
In between kisses, I rolled on top of him and tried to take control of the situation, as I moved myself up and down against him.
I had no idea what I was doing, but it felt really good and judging from the sounds Alex was making, he liked it too.
After a few more seconds, he grabbed my hips and held me still.
"Baby, we have to stop," he said in a raspy voice.
"Why?" I asked. "It doesn't feel good for you?"
He reversed our positions until he lay on top of me, resting his arms on either side of my shoulders. He kissed me, then said, "You have no idea how good it feels; that's why I stopped. It was too good."
"I don't . . . ." I knew I was blushing, but I needed to know. "I don't understand."
"Jocelyn," he whispered. "You're so innocent."
"Maybe I don't want to be innocent anymore," I told him. "I want you to show me, Alex. I want this with you." I was getting frustrated.
"You're not ready."
I could see the regret in his eyes. "How do you know? I feel things when I'm with you. I need you to show me what comes next." I couldn't believe I was telling him this, but I wanted more.
"I will." He smiled. "But, not without control. Jocelyn, we've been together for three weeks, and before that you had never been on a date."
"You've been with so many girls," I said. "I can't be the first virgin."
"You're not." He frowned.
"Then what's the problem?"
"You're different." He rolled off me and propped himself up on his elbow.
"You're not ready for sex, and I don't want to rush you."
I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, my frustration kicking up a notch.
"I'm not different." My tone reflected my annoyance. Is there something wrong with
me? "I like being with you."
"I like being with you too," he said. "And, because I like you, I don't want to rush you."
"Oh." Stupid!
Maybe he's not attracted to me that way.
He took my hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Jocelyn, I need to know what you’re feeling."
"I don't need a psychiatrist." I smiled.
"Jocelyn?"
"I know I'm not what you're used to."
"What does that mean?"
"I've seen some of the girls you've dated." I lowered my head. "I'm much younger, very inexperienced, and definitely not as pretty."
"I don't care about age." He sat up and rested his hand in my lap.
"As far as your inexperience, that's refreshing and not just from a physical standpoint.
I like the fact that you're so eager to learn, and I love when you ask me questions about my education and the experiences I've had.
There are so many things I want to show you. "
I continued to look down because I felt ridiculous, insecure, and unworthy. That
is the story of my life.
"Jocelyn." He took my face and moved it to the side so that I had to look at him. "I also happen to think you're beautiful."
"You don't have to say that," I whispered.
"Yes, apparently I do." He stared at me. "You really have no idea." He gently kissed my lips as he ran his fingers down my cheek. "I want you," he whispered. "But, I'm willing to take things slow."
"Sorry I got too eager." My cheeks flamed.
He continued to kiss me, but then pulled away and in a breathy voice whispered,
"Oh no, I want you eager." He moved his lips down my neck, hesitating just at the top of my T-shirt, but then moving lower and brushing his lips over my nipples.
A bolt of electricity shot throughout my body. This is exactly what I wanted.
He moved his hand up my stomach, and, just as he was about to reach for my other breast, we heard a banging at the door.
"Hey, love birds," Evan called. "Pizza is here, so put your plans on hold."
Alex moved back up to my face, pressed his forehead to mine, and squeezed his eyes shut. I started to giggle.
"You think that's funny?" He laughed.
"Did you hear me?" Evan banged again.
"We're coming." Alex groaned.
I took a deep breath. "I am kinda hungry."
Alex shook his head and rolled his eyes. He got up off the bed and gently pulled me to my feet. "I need you to go downstairs first."
"Why?"
"I need to get dressed and settle down, if you catch my drift." He glanced down at the bulge in his pants.
"Oh," I squeaked. "I did that?"
"Yes, baby, it was all you." He smiled.
I pressed my lips to his and thrust my tongue into his mouth, extremely turned on now.
He pulled away and pushed me toward the door. "I'll never get downstairs if you keep that up."
I pouted.
"That's adorable," he said. "But go, before I start ripping your clothes off."
"Promise?" I asked.
"Out!" He pointed to the door.
I giggled as I walked down the hall. It occurred to me that Alex was just as worked up as I was and probably feeling ten times more frustrated. That nervous anticipation churned in my stomach again. I couldn't wait to see what he had planned next.