Chapter 9
Someone had changed the sheets on her bed.
She could kiss them.
If she wasn’t filled with germs, she might well have. She still couldn’t believe that Brand was here.
That he wanted her.
Jolie knew the smart thing would have been to send him away. Tell him that she didn’t want him.
But she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t lie. She couldn’t live her life wondering “what if”.
If he broke her heart—when he broke her heart—she’d deal with it then.
Maybe she was being crazy, and she would have made a different decision if she wasn’t ill. Perhaps she’d just screwed her career. Because touring together if they broke up would be hell. And she knew she’d be the one who was kicked off the tour.
God. What had she done?
Don’t worry. Taking care of you while you’re sick is probably going to put him off, anyway.
Although she found herself hoping that it wouldn’t. She was determined not to ask too much of him. Actually, she should sleep on the couch so he could have the bed. Her suite only had one bed, but the sofa converted into a bed. Brand was huge so it would be better if he slept in the bed.
Holding back a groan, she forced herself out of bed. She grabbed her teddy bear.
She couldn’t believe Brand had seen him. That she’d told him she was a Little.
He hadn’t freaked out or looked at her differently. And he was a Dominant.
But that didn’t mean he had any interest in being a Daddy Dom.
Well, that didn’t matter because she’d just suppress her own needs if she had to.
Starting now.
She put the teddy bear down on the nightstand. It felt wrong, like she was rejecting him. But it wasn’t like he really belonged to her; it was more like she was borrowing him.
She’d simply give him back to Derek to give to Sadie.
Okay that worked.
Jolie moved out of the bedroom. She blushed as she remembered Brand carrying her in here. He’d walked with her in his arms through the reception area of Rawhide Ranch, following Derek to her room and carrying her right in to put her to bed.
That was after Nurse Beverly had gone through her care instructions.
Lord. She couldn’t believe this was her life right now.
Walking into the living room, she glanced around for Brand, spotting him out in the small courtyard on his phone.
Wheezing slightly, she moved to the sofa and stared down at it.
Wait. What if he wanted to sit and watch television? She’d be in the way if she made it into a sofa bed.
Shoot.
She really wasn’t thinking that well. And her head was thumping so badly. Was it time for more pain medication? She figured it had to be. Turning, she made her way to the kitchen to look for painkillers.
“What are you doing?”
With a small scream, she jumped and turned. A coughing fit overtook her, and she bent over, trying to gasp for air. Tears filled her eyes, dripping down her cheeks.
“Fuck it.” A warm hand rubbed her back, a solid arm creeping around her waist to support her. “Just breathe, baby. You’re all right.”
As she calmed down, Brand lifted her in the air and carried her to the bedroom, setting her down on the bed. He arranged the pillows behind her back so she was supported while she reclined. It was better for her breathing if she didn’t lie flat on her back. Pulling the blankets up, he tucked them around her.
Grabbing the teddy bear, he placed him under the blankets with her.
She was so amazed that she didn’t say anything as he turned away and walked out the door.
Where was he going? He was just leaving her?
He returned with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers. He sat on the bed, facing her, and held the glass of water to her mouth. Embarrassingly, some of the water dribbled down her chin.
“Sorry,” she muttered as she clumsily swiped at her chin when he drew the glass away.
“Are you saying sorry for getting out of bed on your own?” he asked as he took two pills from the bottle.
“Uh, no?”
“That’s the only thing I’ll accept an apology for,” he told her. “So why were you saying sorry?”
“For being so messy.”
He shook his head. “You’re not messy.”
“I just dribbled water down my chin, not exactly my most attractive moment,” she grumbled.
He tilted her face up with his finger under chin. “Eyes on me when you talk to me, Bumblebee.”
She gaped at him in shock. Not just at the words, but his tone. How did he sound so firm yet gentle at the same time?
“Open your mouth.” He placed the pills on her tongue and then held the glass up again.
She tried to take the glass from him, but he brushed her hands away. “Hands down, you’re not to touch.”
What was going on here?
He always sounded authoritative, but this was different. It was a side of him she’d never seen.
But she craved it. He was looking after her as though she was delicate, precious.
And she loved it.
“We might need to talk about using a sippy cup or baby bottle,” he said as he lowered the glass onto the nightstand.
“Because I’m so messy?”
“I don’t care if you’re messy; it gives me an excuse to clean you up.” He wiggled his eyebrows, and she found herself blushing for some reason.
Was he talking about cleaning up her mouth? Or something else?
You really shouldn’t be thinking about sex when you feel so terrible.
“But it would be easier for me to keep you hydrated. Have you ever used a baby bottle or sippy cup?”
She shook her head. “No.”
But she wanted to.
“Have you ever been in a relationship with a Daddy Dom?” he asked.
Jolie twisted her fingers together, her gaze dropping to her lap.
“Bumblebee. Eyes.”
She raised her gaze to his. “No.”
He simply nodded.
“But you… you’re not… I mean, don’t feel you have to do anything because of me.”
He grinned. “Again, when have you known me to ever do something I don’t want to do?”
She relaxed. That was true.
“And you want to be a Daddy Dom?” she asked.
“If you’d asked me that a week ago, I might have said no.”
Great. He wanted to be a Daddy Dom because of her? Because he thought that was what she wanted?
“But that’s because I would have spoken without thinking. Sometimes you need to ruminate on things to let them take hold. To know for sure.”
She guessed that was true.
“And the more I think about it, the more I like the idea. Doesn’t come without its challenges, though.”
“Your career, reputation, touring.”
“Yes,” he said simply, cupping the side of her face. “But right now, we don’t have to worry about any of that, do we? All we have to do is take care of you. And we can have some fun once you’re better.”
She liked the idea of that.
“After all, you came here for a reason, didn’t you? A safe place to let your Little out?” He raised an eyebrow in query. “Were you going to take part in the activities? Some of the programs?”
“I don’t really know what I was going to do. I just needed a break from everything.”
“From me?” He leaned back slightly.
“Yeah. But only because I had these feelings for you, and I didn’t think you felt the same.”
“Now, you know differently, don’t you, Bumblebee?”
“Yes.”
“Did you get up before to find your painkillers?” he asked.
“Uh, yeah, partially.”
He frowned. “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you call out. Maybe I need some sort of monitor to keep an eye on you.”
Like a baby monitor?
She squirmed on the bed slightly.
“Like that idea, do you?” he drawled. “I think that’s the best plan. Or I just stay very close all the time.”
Yikes.
“You did call out to me, didn’t you, Bumblebee?” he asked, running a finger down her cheek.
God.
She had a feeling she was going to find it very hard to ever keep something from him.
“No.”
“No? Why not?” He kept his voice soft.
“Because I… well, I got up to make up the sofa bed.”
“You did?” he prompted. “Why?”
“Because I should sleep in it so you can have the bed. I’m smaller. And you need your sleep.”
“Do I?” he said in a low tone.
“And then I thought if I made up the sofa bed, then you wouldn’t be able to sit there to watch TV. It would be in the way.”
“Always thinking of me, aren’t you?” he murmured, taking her hand in his. He turned her hand over so it was palm-up. Then he ran his finger around it in circles.
“Then my head started to hurt, so I went to the kitchenette to see if my painkillers were there.”
“And you never once thought to call out to me.”
“You were busy. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“Okay, we need to make some rules,” he said firmly.
Rules? They did?
“Like what?” she asked.
He held a finger up. “While you’re ill, you don’t get out of bed on your own. Actually, I’ll change that.”
She should think so. That was completely unreasonable.
“While you’re ill or in Little headspace, you don’t get out of bed without me.”
Wait. That was worse!
“What? Seriously? What if I have to use the bathroom?” she asked.
“Then you call for me.”
“What if someone is knocking at the door and you’re not here?”
“Then you let them keep knocking,” he said.
“What if the building is on fire?”
“There’s always an exception for emergencies,” he informed her.
“Going to the bathroom might be an emergency,” she grumbled.
“Do you need to be diapered while you’re ill or in Little headspace?”
“What? N-no. I’m not… my Little isn’t a baby.”
“How old is she?” he asked.
“I… usually four or five. Sometimes younger.”
“How much younger?”
“I don’t know.” She hadn’t really let herself explore that side of herself. She didn’t think she’d be able to unless she felt truly safe. “I’ve only ever really let my Little out at the club I used to go to with my friend. And I never felt like I could. Well, it felt safer to stay around four or five.”
“So, we need to make you feel secure enough that you can be whoever you want to be. As young as you wish to go. I know you don’t fully trust me or feel that secure yet. But I will do what I need to get you there.”
Dear lord, he’d always been charming. He’d always had this pull she’d been helpless to fight against.
But this? It would likely tip her over the edge. She just knew it.
“And just so we’re clear. There is no way I would ever allow you to sleep on the sofa bed, understand? That’s rule two.”
“No sofa beds?” she asked in confusion.
“No putting me before you.”
Okay, that was going to be even harder for her than rule one.
“I get the feeling that’s going to be hard for you. But I’m going to help.”
“How?”
“By spanking your butt if you break the rules, of course.”
“S-spanking me?” she asked.
“Unless spanking is a hard limit? You filled in those forms when you booked in, right? With your limits and likes and desires?”
“Um, yes.”
“I need to ask Derek for that, then.”
Okay. That would likely be easier than her going through it all again with him.
“Rule three,” he carried on, as though he wasn’t rocking her world. “You interrupt me if you need something.”
“But what if you’re doing something important? What if you’re on the phone to Mikey?”
“Pfft. He’s not important. What could be more important than you?”
He really knew just what to say, didn’t he?
“I’m not happy with him, anyway. He shouldn’t have given away your private information.”
“He gave it to you!”
“Which is the only reason I’m not on the phone, giving him an earful.”
“Who were you on the phone to?” she asked.
“My mom.”
His mom? That wasn’t what she was expecting him to say, and it was rather sweet.
“She called you?” she asked.
“No, I called her. I needed some advice on how to take good care of you.”
Her mouth opened and closed as she gaped at him.
Alarm filled his face. “What is it? What’s wrong? Are you having some sort of stroke?”
“I… you-you really asked her how to take care of me?”
“Well, yeah. I know it will be hard to believe, but I’ve never taken care of anyone as sick as you are.”
Oh. Well, she didn’t actually find that hard to believe.
He narrowed his gaze at her. “I have a feeling I’m not going to like what you’re thinking.”
“What did your mom say?” What exactly had he talked to her about? Had he told her about her?
“She said to keep you hydrated, make sure you rest, and not to stress if you didn’t have much of an appetite. She’s going to send a list of foods you might like to eat. She didn’t say to give you rules, then spank you if you broke them. Or to use a baby bottle to keep you hydrated. I came up with those all on my own.”
And he looked super proud of himself.
She bit her lip to hold back her smile.
“The more I think about it, the more I like the diaper idea. Then you won’t have to get up to go to the bathroom.”
“That is not happening! Even if I ever consented to using diapers, I won’t actually use them.”
“Ahh, but you are interested in wearing them. Noted.” He tapped his forehead.
She groaned. That wasn’t happening, either.
“I didn’t tick diaper play on my list of likes.”
He hummed. “I need that information. What is your safeword?”
“Um, I decided just to go for Red. Boring, I know.” Would he want her when he knew the truth about her? That she wasn’t very interesting. That she’d rather have a night in on the couch with takeout than go to a nightclub or party?
When had she become such a grandma?
To be honest, she thought she was kind of born this way. Not exactly the stereotypical rock star, right?
“Good. Use it if you need to. I know I can be… persuasive when I want something.”
“Persuasive? Is that the new word for pushy, autocratic, stubborn?”
“Brat.”
She grinned at him.
To her surprise, relief filled his face. “That’s better.”
“What is?” she whispered.
“You. Smiling. I don’t like that you’re ill, baby. That you have bronchitis after having a vomiting bug.”
She grimaced. “You and me both.”
“You won’t do this again, understand?” He stood up.
Sure. She’d get right on that. He really couldn’t hear how arrogant he sounded, could he?
“I’m going to order us both lunch. What do you feel like?”
“It’s only lunchtime? It feels like I’ve lived a whole life in these last few hours.”
“Yeah. You look tired,” he agreed.
Great. As well as feeling like shit, she also looked like shit.
Perfect.
What every girl wanted to hear.
“I’m not really hungry.”
He nodded. “I’ll see if they’d do you a smoothie or protein shake. I need to get a few supplies in here.” He was muttering to himself as he stepped out of the bedroom. Then he poked his head back in and pointed a finger at her. “Stay there. I mean it. You need me, you call out. Got me?”
“Yes, Sir!” She saluted him.
“Sir is fine.” He turned away. “Daddy would be better.”
She pretended she didn’t hear him mutter that. But it was going to play over and over in her mind.
Closing her eyes, she decided she’d just rest for a bit.