Chapter Eight #2
“I worried in the beginning that you would tell him of our conversation. It would have been something he was not in a position to understand, something that may have affected our relationship. That is a reflection of your fine character, Dina, and I want you to know how much I appreciate that.”
It was a bitter acknowledgement. Dina had not meant to protect Mrs. Macarthur by withholding the information from David, rather she’d wanted to protect him from all of it: his mother’s concern, Dina’s distraction from the ambition that was not only his mother’s but his too, her own shame at not having put an end to their growing accord before her heart was so engaged.
She’d done everything back then to spare him pain.
Because I loved him, she said in her mind, using that word for the first time.
Before now she’d acknowledged the attraction, draw, delight, friendship, and physical awareness, but she’d never given those feelings the title she could not ignore now.
She had loved him so much. Enough to step aside so that he could become the man he now was.
Enough to give up her heart and her fantasy of happiness in the process.
She swallowed the lump in her throat, then realized that the love she could admit to now had not been left behind as they had taken separate paths all those years ago.
She still loved him. Her heart still belonged wholly and completely to him.
She still wanted his happiness above anything else in the world.
“Mrs. Macarthur,” she said, making the unexpected decision as the realization of her feelings for David continued to settle upon her shoulders.
She moved toward the older woman and ignored the bickering that was rising from the corner of the room where the dolls and cradles were kept as the girls argued over whose doll got which blanket for the night.
“May I confide something in you that is directly tied to that happiness you claim to want for David above all things?”
“Certainly.”
She took a breath and then told Mrs. Macarthur what she’d seen from the nursery window two days before and her suspicions about David’s fiancée and his friend having been apart from the group at the same time at the abbey today.
“I understand what you see in Miss Johansson,” Dina said, aware that her voice had picked up in both pace and volume.
“She is poised and elegant and, as I understand it, from a good and well-connected family. She appears to be exactly the type of woman who would do David all the credit that is his due, but there is something false in her, Mrs. Macarthur. I fear that falseness is hiding something that would hurt David to know now but could destroy him if her behavior remains unchecked and they are to marry.”
Mrs. Macarthur’s expression had become tight throughout Dina’s retelling. “With whom have you shared this information?”
“No one,” Dina said, shaking her head. “I have no proof, but there is also no denying what I saw or any reasonable explanation for either of these situations.”
“Unless Miss Johansson and Mr. Littlefield told the truth about their whereabouts today,” Mrs. Macarthur said, turning back to the window. “And do you really feel capable of identifying people at the tree line from all the way up here? It is quite a distance.”
Dina stiffened.
Mrs. Macarthur turned back, her face tight.
“Lady Clairmont and I have known each other for many years and could not be happier about the connection between our children. Miss Johansson has been raised with formalities that some people take for granted, such as not being left without an escort when out of doors. I find no reason to suspect her explanation of having found a wrong path when attempting to find her way back to where you and David had left her, because she has always had someone to lead her until now. Mr. Littlefield is very much like my brother who, I explained, collected rocks from everywhere he visited for years.” She cocked her head to the side and gave Dina a compassionate smile that lacked warmth.
“I appreciate that you care about David enough to be concerned over what you think you might have seen, Dina, but I hope you also care enough to examine your own feelings enough to question your intentions.”
“I know what I saw,” Dina said tightly, embarrassment rising in her chest as she realized it had been a mistake to confide in her.
“I had been in Miss Johansson’s company not fifteen minutes earlier on Saturday; there is not another woman here who has such dark hair or was wearing a pink dress that afternoon. ”
Mrs. Macarthur raised her eyebrows, then lowered them and nodded. “I shall look into it.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that I shall look into it,” Mrs. Macarthur said.
Both her tone and her look were sharp. “And I will ask that you allow me to handle this. An accusation from a governess will have no weight with anyone. For David’s sake, tell no one else of this suspicion and let me handle the situation.
” They held one another’s eyes a moment, and then Mrs. Macarthur smiled a tight smile.
“Well, I have taken enough of your time and do not want the party to hold dinner on my account. Good night to you, Dina. Thank you for your time.”