Chapter Ten #2
“How convenient that the man who can account for your whereabouts is not here,” David said.
“He may not be here,” Mr. Havershorn cut in, “but he pointed out to me before he left this morning that Mr. Littlefield did not join us for some time at the archery range on Saturday. He also saw the two of them in the foyer before the rest of the group arrived for yesterday’s excursion standing closer than he thought appropriate.
After they were both discovered missing, he felt very uncomfortable about it all. That is why he left early for London.”
“That is nothing but hearsay,” Mrs. Macarthur spat, glaring at the man from where she still stood.
She slapped the table with her hand, causing the dishes to jump and settle in a momentary cacophony of porcelain, glass, and silver.
She turned toward Lady Clairmont. “Will you not defend your daughter’s honor and put an end to this, Lady Clairmont? ”
Lady Clairmont took a breath and then pushed back from the table.
A footman hurried to help her. She stood, placed her serviette carefully on the chair, and looked at her red-faced daughter, who shrank beneath her mother’s gaze, shoulders curling inward as she lowered her head.
“I had hoped a man of good character would put an end to these trysts, Fiona.” She then looked at David’s mother, who looked ready to topple over.
“I told you from the start, Carolyn, that my daughter has not managed her behavior well, though she plays the part of innocence to perfection. I had hoped that the attention of a good man such as David would be an opportunity for her to be a better woman than she has been, but it seems she is determined to humiliate all of us.” She looked at David and smiled sadly as tears rose in her eyes.
“I am so sorry, Mr. Macarthur. Perhaps you and I can speak in the morning and settle the particulars. I shall do all I can to keep you from being maligned.” She lifted her chin and turned from the table.
Mr. Littlefield also stood. He said nothing and did not look at any of them, not even Miss Johansson, as he turned and left the room.
David’s mother was still fish gaping at the departing company when Miss Johansson pushed back quickly from the table.
David’s eyes fixed on her as she began to rise.
“Stay,” he said simply, more pleading than demanding.
She swallowed, glanced at the door Mr. Littlefield had disappeared through, but did as he said.
Her chin began to tremble, and tears welled in her bright blue eyes that until now had only ever been jolly and eager.
“I am sorry,” she said in a whisper. “But he is not like . . . the others.” She covered her face with her hands, and even Dina felt sympathy for the idiot girl.
“There will be a great deal of unraveling to do regarding all that has happened,” David said to the group when it became clear that Miss Johansson was not going to further explain herself.
He appeared calm and collected, but Dina knew his heart was aching.
“But I have an apology to offer of my own that I would like to have witnessed here.” His eyes remained fixed on Miss Johansson, softening slightly as she lowered her hands and wiped at her eyes.
“I offered you marriage for several reasons, Fiona: my mother’s encouragements, the connection of your excellent family, your ability to manage the social expectations of the place I have hoped to fill in English society, but I never professed to love you, and as our engagement has continued I have feared that I would never be able to give you that.
I am not sure that Mr. Littlefield can offer you that either, but you deserve the chance to try and have my blessing to do so. ”
She sniffed, looking confused. “You are breaking our engagement?”
“As far as I am concerned, that was broken the first time you took liberty with Mr. Littlefield, unless your mother is implying there have been others since we reached our understanding.”
He raised his eyebrows, and she looked at her plate. Dina was tempted to throw her wine in the woman’s face. How could she treat a man like David this way?
David nodded toward the doorway Mr. Littlefield had left through. “If you hurry, you may be able to catch him before he leaves, as I’m sure that is his intention.”
She hesitated a moment but then jumped to her feet and fairly ran from the room in pursuit of the man she’d chosen over David. For all her poise, elegance, grace, and beauty—she was the stupidest girl Dina had ever met. Bless her.
“Mother.”
Heads moved again. Mrs. Macarthur was still standing, her face slack and her eyes wide. “Did you tell Dina to leave London all those years ago for my sake?”
Mrs. Macarthur recovered her expression enough to shoot an accusing look at Dina.
“I asked you a question, Mother,” he said, drawing Mrs. Macarthur’s attention back to himself.
“A few days ago, when she tried to explain her reasons for leaving so suddenly all those years ago, she used a particular phrase you yourself have used numerous times as we have discussed my future—that I needed the right English bride so as to have the right English future. I suspect that is not a coincidence. After all these years of doing everything you asked of me, I think you owe me an honest answer. Did you tell Dina that she was holding me back from the ambitions you had so carefully crafted for my life?”
Seconds ticked by as everyone at the table waited for answers, the room so quiet they could hear the sputter of the candles. When Mrs. Macarthur spoke, her voice was puckered with emotion. “I have only wanted what was best for you, David. You are my only son.”
“That is not what I asked. Did you tell Dina to leave?”
“I did not,” she said after several seconds, her voice confident. “I only asked her to consider what she was taking away from you.”
David’s eyes turned to Dina, and she could barely breathe under the power of his stare. No one would dare lie to him, least of all her. “Is that true?”
Dina nodded. “And she was right, David.”
His surprise was displayed by the flicker of his eyebrows and tightening of his already tight jaw.
She swallowed and pretended they did not have an audience.
“We were so very young, David. You were not established, and I was not the kind of woman a man like you needed if he were to reach his potential. Once I understood the price one of us or both of us would have to pay if I stayed, I knew what had to be done. I could not be a burden to you and the connection between us was so . . .” She searched for the best word. “So . . .”
“Encompassing,” David said softly. Intimately.
Dina felt tears rise in her eyes as the depth of their feelings settled upon her. Feelings she had thought were in the past but weren’t. “It was too much too soon, a fire we did not know how to control.”
“And now?” David asked, his voice low and anxious as though they were alone.
The air pushed from her lungs, and the first tear slid down her cheek. “We are different people on different paths. I am only in England because of Mary’s mercy.”
“Dina,” Mary said with a catch in her voice. Dina silenced her with a look and a smile of thanks.
“I have always known it, Mary, and am grateful for your care of me, but the class distance between David and I is no small thing and cannot be changed. His opportunities would be less with me at his side, which is why I gave him up.” She swallowed the lump in her throat but could not pull back the tears.
“And look at what he’s become. It was the right course. ”
David’s eyes closed slowly, and his chin dropped to his chest. Mrs. Havershorn reached for Dina’s hand, and Dina returned the grasp as though that were the only thing that would keep her from sinking through the chair.
A minute ago, she’d appreciated David’s bold honesty; now that same virtue felt as though it were slicing her to ribbons from the inside out.
“What of now?”
It took Dina a moment to realize it was Mr. Jennings who had spoken.
David turned to look at him, and Mr. Jennings looked between his wife, Dina, and David.
“Marriage is a very complex arrangement,” he said slowly, as though picking his words carefully.
Several heads at the table nodded in agreement.
“Love and connection will never be enough by themselves, but I believe those are seeds God bestows upon people so that they can push through the difficulties of accepting that someone else’s needs are as important as their own.
If what David and Dina feel for one another is so encompassing, and they are at a point in life where he is capable of the security she deserves and she is willing to rise to the responsibilities of being his helpmeet, what is left to question? ”
“She is a governess,” Mrs. Donning said, wrinkling her nose as she glanced in Dina’s direction. She looked her up and down, then nodded as though Dina’s out-of-date dress and mismatched pearls confirmed the sentence already stated.
“Yes,” David’s mother echoed, looking at her son.
“You are a man of consequence. You need a wife who will be taken seriously amid the circles you inhabit.” She flicked a glance toward Dina, who looked back at David, her heart pounding.
He continued to stare at the table, and Dina sensed that his mother had given the wrong answer.
Or at least, an incomplete one. He still did not know that Dina had confided in his mother.
She was still manipulating the situation.
“David,” Dina said.
He lifted his chin and looked at her.