Chapter Seventeen
Anya
"Okay! OoOokayyy!" I exclaim, taking a deep breath and trying to steady my voice so I don't sound too drunk. "Birffday, birrrthdaayyy," I manage, clearing my throat and taking another breath. "Okay. Birth. Day. Girl," I repeat, saying each word slowly to avoid sounding as intoxicated as I know I am. Lana bursts into laughter with a high-pitched giggle, clearly even more intoxicated than I am, which is saying something. "I wanna go dance!" she drunkenly whines. Sam wraps his arm around her and announces that he's taking her back to the nightclub. Patricia and JC have disappeared somewhere, leaving just me and Jacob. Not that I mind, but I'm definitely not sober enough to handle anything, should something actually happen.
"You doing okay there, gorgeous?" Jacob asks, pulling me closer to him. I can't help but smile widely, though I'm not sure if it's the alcohol coursing through my veins or being this close to him that's setting my skin on fire. "Mmhmm, I am peachy keen, Jimmy Dean!" I blurt out, cringing internally at my drunken chatter. Oh my god, Anya, stop talking when you're drunk! I scold myself internally. Jacob chuckles at my drunken stupor, and we begin strolling around the main deck of the cruise.
"It's so pretty out here at night," I murmur, taking in the twinkling lights of the city skyline as the cruise ship glides through the dark waters. Jacob stands behind me, his arms enveloping me in a comforting embrace, the warmth of his body contrasting with the cool breeze blowing off the ocean.
"Yeah, it is," he replies softly, his breath warm against my skin. I feel a shiver run down my spine as his lips brush against the sensitive skin of my neck, sending tingles of excitement coursing through me. I tilt my head slightly, allowing him better access, savoring the sensation of his kisses.
Closing my eyes, I lose myself in the moment, relishing the closeness between us and the serene beauty of the night. The sound of the ocean waves lapping against the hull of the ship creates a soothing rhythm, lulling me into a state of peaceful contentment.
When Jacob turns me around to face him, a smile plays at the corners of my lips. Leaning up on my toes, I meet his gaze with a mixture of anticipation and desire, our lips coming together in a tender, lingering kiss. In that moment, with the stars overhead and the gentle sway of the ship beneath us, time seems to stand still, and all that exists is the connection between us.
But as the passion between us escalates, a small voice in the back of my mind whispers a warning but I ignore it, I wanna feel him inside me. I feel a sudden wave of dizziness wash over me, fueled by the potent combination of alcohol and desire. Jacob's hands start to roam over my body, igniting a fire within me that threatens to consume all reason.
In that moment of urgency and need, I cling to him desperately. But through the haze of desire, I sense Jacob's hesitance, a subtle shift in his touch that speaks volumes. His kisses become softer, more restrained, and I detect a flicker of concern in his eyes.
Suddenly, he pulls away slightly, his gaze searching mine. I try to steady myself against his chest, my heart pounding with a mixture of desire and confusion.
"Anya... we can't do this," Jacob's voice is soft but filled with resolve as he gently puts some distance between us. His words hit me like a sudden gust of cold wind, leaving me feeling hurt and confused.
"What do you mean?" I manage to choke out, my voice tinged with disbelief. The ache in my chest grows with each passing second, a dull throb that I can't seem to shake off.
"Don't you want me?" The words escape my lips before I can stop them, desperation and vulnerability seeping into my tone. I search his eyes for any sign of reassurance, any glimmer of hope that he might change his mind.
“I want you, more than anything,” he says as he pulls me closer, my hands instinctively resting on his toned chest. His intense gaze reveals his desire for me. “Then take me,” I whisper, leaning up towards him.
He chuckles softly against my lips before kissing me with passion. “Not like this, baby,” he says as he breaks the kiss but keeps his hands on my body. I pout, “Why not?” He cups my face gently, “Because you're drunk.”
“So what?” I plead.
He leans down again, “When I make love to you, I want every moment to be etched in your mind. Every kiss, every touch, every thrust. I want you to remember how my tongue feels on your skin and how deeply my cock fills you with pleasure so completely that no one else will satisfy you the same way. When you surrender to me, you'll be fully aware and in control of your senses.” His words send shivers down my spine and heat up my entire body.
I am stunned by what he is saying, but at the same time, his words make me feel cherished and desired in a way I never thought possible. His concern for my well-being and his desire to make our lovemaking intimate and unforgettable is the sweetest thing I've ever heard.
“I thought you didn’t want me,” I whisper. He nods, “Anya, like I said, I do want you, with every fiber of my being, do I want you. But I also want you to be fully present,” he says stroking his thumb against my cheek. “I want to know exactly what you're feeling, the way you feel when I'm inside you, and how you scream my name as you climax.” His words melt away the last vestiges of my confusion, and I feel myself falling under his spell.
As he speaks, I notice the concern in his eyes, and it melts my heart. I realize that beneath his desire for intimacy, there is a deep respect for me, a man who wants to make sure I'm comfortable and happy.
"Okay, I understand" I say softly, taking a deep breath. Jacob smiles at me, a mixture of relief and happiness in his eyes. "I want the first time we have sex with each other to be something we both remember," he says, and I can see the resolve in his gaze.
We continue to sit there for a few moments, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves against the ship and the distant sounds of the city. Enjoying being in his arms. At last, I take another deep breath and say, "We should head back it’s getting late."
Jacob nods, and we both disentangle ourselves from each other. He helps me down from his arms, and we walk back to the cabin together. We don't speak, but there's a sense of mutual understanding between us, a bond that has been strengthened by our honesty with each other. As we reach the cabin door, Jacob turns to me, his eyes soft with a mix of regret and fondness. "I had a great time with you Anya," he says, his voice sincere. "Me too," I reply, offering him a small smile. Despite the disappointment of the moment, I feel a sense of relief washing over me. We may not have ended up where I hoped, but at least we're on the same page now. With a nod, Jacob kisses me goodnight, and I watch him disappear down the hall before slipping into my cabin. As I settle into bed, I can't help but feel grateful for the honesty and understanding that has emerged between us, even in the face of disappointment.
Jacob
As I sit in my cabin, the events of the night replay in my mind like a broken record. Anya's laughter, her warmth beside me, the temptation that pulsed through my veins—each memory is etched into my consciousness with painful clarity.
I wanted her. God, I wanted her more than anything. But as she stood before me, her words slurred with the effects of alcohol, I couldn't bring myself to act on those desires. "Don’t you want me ?” her words ring in my mind.
Of course, I wanted her. That much was undeniable. But the alcohol had clouded her judgment, dulled her inhibitions, and I couldn't bear the thought of taking advantage of her vulnerable state. So, I had held back, offered her a comforting embrace instead of giving in to the burning need that coursed through me.
Now, as I lie in bed, staring up at the ceiling, I can't shake the feeling of regret that gnaws at my insides. Did I do the right thing by resisting her advances? Should I have allowed myself to succumb to the intoxicating allure of her presence, consequences be damned?
But deep down, I know the answer. I acted out of respect for Anya, out of a desire to protect her, even from herself. True love isn't just about giving in to passion; it's about respecting boundaries, cherishing the person you care for above all else.
And so, as I drift off to sleep, I find solace in the knowledge that I did what I believed to be right, even if it meant sacrificing my own desires for the sake of her well-being.