Chapter Twenty-Five
Anya
After breakfast, Jacob heads out, and I start getting ready for work. Lana breezes in through the front door with her usual cheerful greeting for Nana. She's been stopping by more often lately, a change from when I was living with my parents. “Morning!” she chirps, flashing a smile at my grandmother.
“Hey Lana!” I respond, finishing off my coffee. “Just need to grab my bag, then we can hit the road,” I tell her. Fridays mean carpooling for Lana and me; after work, we usually hit up the nightclubs near the beach, just a short 5-minute drive from my grandparents’ place, and then she crashes here for the night.
I quickly grab my bag and apron, and then we're both out the door. She settles into the passenger seat, her wide grin and knowing look making me chuckle. "What?" I say, unable to suppress a smile at her expression.
"You're looking pretty pleased with yourself today," she remarks with a playful grin.
"I have no idea what you're talking about," I say, trying to keep a straight face.
"Oh, come on! It's written all over your face. You definitely had sex last night!" she insists with a knowing chuckle.
I chuckle back, "What happened last night and this morning in the shower, is classified information."
"Wait, you continued in the shower this morning too?" she gasps, her eyes widening with amusement.
I smirk, "I plead the fifth” I say putting one hand in the air. “Let's just say it was a good night."
As we continue to drive to the restaurant, Lana turns down the radio and gives me a wide grin, a knowing look gleaming in her eyes. "Anya, this is the first time in two years, girl! It’s a big deal!"
I chuckle nervously, feeling a flush rise to my cheeks. "Lana, can we not talk about this right now? It's still kind of new and..."
She interrupts, her excitement palpable. "And it's exciting! I'm just happy to see you moving forward, you know?"
I offer a smile, "Thanks, Lana. But for now let's just focus on work, okay?"
Lana nods, but her grin doesn't falter. "Of course, but later, we're definitely having a girls' night and you're spilling all the details!"
I sigh with a mix of amusement, "Deal." With that, we head into the restaurant, ready to start the day's work.
Lunch shift goes by smooth, but slow. Not many people came in to eat, probably because they are all at the beach. This has become normal lately, everyone just wants to head to the beach instead, which is understandable but its hurting my pay and I need money to get my own place. Our manager was gracious enough to allow us extra time between the lunch shift and dinner shift.
We're sitting outside, chomping down on our food when Lana turns to me with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Okay girl, spill the tea!" she says, stuffing a burrito into her mouth.
I can't help but laugh as I recount every detail of last night and this morning with Jacob. "Girl, I'm over here fanning myself, and it's not just because of the summer heat!" Lana exclaims excitedly.
I join in her laughter, quipping, "Yeah, it was definitely steamy."
As we continue bantering and joking during our break, finishing up our food and tidying up, Lana's tone shifts to one of sincerity. "But in all seriousness, I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy. You deserve to be treated right," she says warmly.
I smile, but there's a hint of doubt in my response. "Yeah, I guess," I reply, chuckling softly. Deep down, part of me knows she's right, but another part struggles to believe it. After all, I made choices that kept me in a toxic situation with Paul. I allowed it to happen, and sometimes, I can't shake the feeling that I deserve the consequences.
We're in the thick of the dinner rush, with people streaming in from the summer heat. I've been double and triple sat so many times in the past three hours that it feels like a marathon. My feet are throbbing, and sweat is dripping down my forehead as I hustle from one end of the restaurant to the other, non-stop.
Lana is just as busy, and we've barely had a moment to acknowledge each other. Then, in walks Marcus, and I freeze in the alleyway. My heart starts racing again, and Lana almost spills the drinks she's carrying on her tray when she bumps into me.
"Anya! Whoa!" she exclaims, balancing her tray precariously. She notices the look on my face and follows my gaze to the entrance. "Okay, girl, it's okay," she says, trying to calm my nerves. "Let me drop off these drinks, and I'll be right back," she adds before hurrying off.
I'm left standing there, staring at the entrance, feeling a wave of anxiety wash over me.
I snap out of my trance when Lana pulls me into the kitchen. “Do you want me to take the table?” she asks, her voice laced with concern. I close my eyes, trying to calm my rapid heartbeat. Why is he here? Is he looking for me? Did Paul send him?
“Anya?!” Lana's voice jolts me back to reality as she waves a hand in front of my face.
“Huh? What?” I ask, shaken from my thoughts.
“Do you want me to take the table?” she repeats, her tone more urgent now.
“Wait, what do you mean?” I respond, panic creeping into my voice. “Is he sitting in my section?” I ask, my tone now tinged with fear.
Lana lets out a sigh and nods, “Yes, so I’ll ask again, do you want me to take the table?”
I glance over at her section, which is already packed. If I let her take the table, she'll be running back and forth, and I can't ask her to do that.
Shaking my head, I reply, “No, just have the host tell them that I’ll be a minute,” my voice trembling.
“Are you sure?” she asks with a concerned look.
As Lana's worried gaze meets mine, I nod in response before slipping into the cooler. The rush of cold air envelopes me, providing a momentary respite from the whirlwind of emotions inside.
Inhaling deeply, I feel the frosty air calm my racing heart, yet my mind continues to race with doubts. Can I really face him? Can I handle whatever he might say? The fear of confrontation gnaws at me, but I refuse to succumb.
"No," I tell myself firmly. "You've got this. It's time to stop living in fear." Reminding myself that I'm safe here, surrounded by coworkers, I gather my courage.
With resolve building within me, I take a final deep breath and stride back to the table. Lana's supportive glance spurs me on as I approach, ready to confront whatever lies ahead.
"Good evening. My name is Anya, and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get ya’ll to drink?" I manage to say, masking my nerves with a veneer of confidence.
"Anya?" Marcus's voice jolts me, and I force a smile. "I thought that was you! How the hell are you, girl?" he adds with a grin.
Keeping up my best customer service smile, I reply, "Hi! I'm doing well, what can I get you?" I keep the smile fixed in place, determined not to let him see my anxiety.
Marcus throws his hands up and laughs, "Right, right, you're busy. I'll just have a coke, darlin'." His wide smile doesn't ease my tension. I quickly jot down the rest of the tables' drink orders and hurry to the furthest computer, exhaling deeply.
Lana appears at my side, concern evident in her eyes. "You okay?" she asks.
I nod, hastily punching in the drink order. As much as I want to linger and talk to Lana, my priority is getting Marcus's order and getting him out of here as quickly as possible.
I return to the table with the drinks, feeling Marcus's intense gaze on me, his smile sending shivers down my spine. "So, Anya, what have you been up to these last two years?" he says, his tone dripping with something unsettling.
"Just been working and finishing my degree," I reply with a polite yet nervous smile, trying to maintain my composure.
He continues to stare at me, his grin unwavering. "Cool, cool. You ever get rid of that lemon of a car you had?" he jokes, and I shoot him a glare.
"You mean the one you crashed, and the mechanic couldn’t fix properly because you're good for nothing..." I catch myself before saying too much, taking a deep breath to compose myself. Then, with a forced smile, I continue, "You know, it's in the past. So, to answer your question, yes, I got a new car." I offer another smile, hoping to steer the conversation away from uncomfortable territory. "Now, are you folks ready to order, or do you still need a few moments?" I inquire, eager to move on from the exchange.
As Marcus laughs and places his order, along with the rest of his group, I try to maintain my professional demeanor. But then, just as I'm about to walk away, he drops a bombshell.
"Paul says hi, by the way," he casually remarks, his mischievous smile sending a wave of panic through me.
I close my eyes briefly, reminding myself to stay calm. When I turn back to face him, I force myself to maintain a composed expression. "I'm sorry? What did you say?" I inquire, my voice steady despite the turmoil inside.
"I told Paul that I saw you a few weeks ago, and he said to tell you he says hi," Marcus replies, his smile growing even wider.
I glance around, checking if anyone is paying attention, before stepping closer and leaning in toward Marcus. "Well, you can tell Paul that he can go fuck himself, and I hope he burns in hell for all the shit he put me through," I hiss, the words dripping with venom.
Marcus's expression shifts from amusement to shock, but it quickly morphs back into a smile. "Oh, come on, mamacita, it wasn't all bad," he says, using the nickname that sends a shiver down my spine.
That name brings back memories I'd rather forget, memories of Paul, a time when I was trapped in a cycle of abuse. They gave me that nickname when Paul "accidentally" got me pregnant. But I know it was no accident. And thankfully, I lost the baby a few weeks later.
It might be shitty of me to say such things about a potential child, but I couldn't bear the thought of being tied to Paul forever through a child. No one believed me when I tried to speak out about the abuse, so I know they wouldn't have believed me if I had tried to keep him away, had the baby survived. So, I made the painful decision to let go of that part of my life and move on, determined to break free from his hold on me.
Standing tall, I address Marcus directly. "You know what, Marcus? All I can say to you is that I hope no woman in your life, whom you hold dear, ever goes through what Paul did to me." With those words hanging in the air, I pivot and stride away, keeping my head held high despite the tremors running through me.
Arriving at the safety of the computer, hidden behind a wall, I notice my hands shaking uncontrollably. I clench them tightly, willing the tremors to subside. Lana must have seen the panic on my face because she rushes over to me.
"What happened?" she asks, her concern evident in her voice. Shaking, I recount the entire conversation to her.
"That's it, fuck this job!" Lana exclaims, rolling up her sleeves in readiness. "I'm gonna fucking beat the living shit out of him!" Before she can storm off towards Marcus, I grab her arm firmly.
"No, Lana, he's not worth the trouble... trust me," I implore, trying to reason with her.
"Come on! I can take him!" Lana protests, her determination clear in her eyes.
I chuckle, shaking my head. "I'm sure you can, and I appreciate the gesture, but don't worry about Marcus. He's all talk, no bite," I assure her with a smirk.
Lana sighs, relenting. "Fine. But I get to beat up Paul then," she retorts, her defiance softened by a hint of humor.
I laugh, shaking my head at her persistence. "I love you, girl, but he isn't worth it either. Let's just get this shift over and done with, then tonight we drink!" I suggest, eager to move past the confrontation and focus on something more positive.
As the shift progresses, I'm relieved to find that Marcus keeps to himself, refraining from any further mention of Paul. Surprisingly, he even leaves a very generous tip, a small silver lining to an otherwise tense encounter. I cautiously ask him not to mention seeing me, and he promises to keep quiet. However, given my history with people associated with Paul, I know better than to fully trust his word.
After the shift, Lana and I swiftly change out of our work clothes and head out to the club, eager to unwind after the stressful evening. I shoot a quick text to Jacob, letting him know I'm off work and that I'll catch up with him tomorrow since it'll be too late to call him when we return from the club. It's a relief to have the night ahead of us, free from the weight of work and the memories stirred up by Marcus' presence.
Lana hands me a drink and I down it in one go. “Damn girl, you really going for it” Lana says. I wipe my mouth and laugh, “I’m sorry but I really needed that”.
“apparently!” she quips and then orders me another one. I sip this one and try to take it slow, otherwise I’ll be a heaping mess far too early. I receive a text message and look down at my phone, Lana hands me a drink, and I eagerly down it in one go, feeling the burn as it slides down my throat. "Damn, girl, you're really going for it," Lana remarks with a chuckle.
I wipe my mouth and laugh in response. "I'm sorry, but I really needed that."
"Apparently!" Lana quips, a mischievous glint in her eyes as she orders me another drink. This time, I take it slow, sipping cautiously to avoid becoming a mess too quickly.
As I try to savor the drink, my phone buzzes with a new message. I glance down at the screen, curious to see who it's from.
JACOB: Hey beautiful, thanks for letting me know. I hope you and Lana have fun tonight. I can’t wait to talk to you tomorrow!
I smile at the text and tuck my phone away, feeling grateful. Jacob has been a source of comfort and joy in my life, always making me feel cherished and valued. His presence alone brightens my day, and I can't help but feel lucky to have him.
Lana notices my smile and nudges me, her eyes twinkling with curiosity. "What did he say?" she asks, her voice barely audible over the pulsing music.
I laugh and raise my voice to be heard. "He just said he hopes we have fun and he'll talk to me tomorrow," I reply.
"Aww, girl, he loves you!" Lana shouts, clearly feeling the effects of the drinks.
I chuckle and shake my head. "Oh, stop! No, he doesn't," I protest, though a part of me secretly hopes she's right.
But Lana isn't convinced. She nudges me again, a mischievous grin on her face. "You love him too!" she teases.
I laugh, feeling the warmth of the alcohol spreading through me. "Oh my god, Lana, no! We like each other, sure! But I don't think it's love," I insist, though the thought lingers in the back of my mind, refusing to be dismissed entirely.
As the night wears on, guys attempt to flirt and buy me drinks, but I politely decline their advances. "Wow, you really are in love!" Lana remarks, her teasing tone laced with amusement.
I furrow my brow in confusion, still amused by Lana's antics. "What are you talking about?" I inquire, unsure of where she's going with this.
Lana smirks and gestures around us. "You've been turning down guys left and right!" she points out.
I roll my eyes and chuckle. "Why would I engage with other guys if I'm dating someone? I'm not here to interact with other men; I'm just here to have a good time with you," I explain.
Lana raises an eyebrow skeptically. "Uh-huh, okay," she teases. "Just admit it, girl, you're hooked," she adds with a playful grin.
As Lana's teasing words hang in the air, I can't help but wonder if she's onto something. Am I really head over heels for Jacob, or am I just liking the fact that he treats me right? It's like a little debate going on in my head while I watch the crowd swirl around us on the dance floor. Jacob's been amazing, no doubt about it. His kindness, his warmth—it's all like a breath of fresh air after dealing with some of the toxicity in the past. But does that mean I'm in love?
I take a moment to mull over our relationship, replaying our moments together in my mind. His comforting touch, his reassuring words—they've definitely helped ease some of the shit I've been through. But here's the thing: I've never really known what real love feels like. My past relationships have been pretty fucked up, leaving me with some serious scars. So maybe Jacob's just a really nice distraction, you know?
Lost in thought, I glance over at Lana, who's busting some moves without a care in the world. For a second, I envy her carefree vibe. But then it hits me—regardless of whether what I feel for Jacob is the real deal or just a passing infatuation, he's brought some serious sunshine into my life. And for that, I'm beyond grateful.
So, with a shrug and a smile, I decide to stop overthinking it. Whatever label we slap on it, Jacob's presence makes me happy, plain and simple. And in a world full of craziness, that's more than enough for me.
As the night progresses, we continue to dance and enjoy our drinks. However, as the clock strikes 1 a.m., I begin to feel the weight of exhaustion settling in. Between the alcohol coursing through my system and the demands of a long day's work, my body is pleading for rest.
"Hey, I think it's time for us to call it a night," I mention to Lana, my voice betraying the weariness I feel.
Lana nods in agreement, understanding the need to call it a night. We head out to the parking lot, and Lana takes the driver's seat of my car. With a shared glance, we buckle up and hit the road, leaving the club behind us. The familiar route to my grandparents' home feels comforting, the streetlights casting a warm glow on the darkened streets. As Lana navigates the turns with ease, I lean back in the passenger seat, feeling the fatigue from the night settle over me. Finally, we arrive at the familiar driveway of my grandparents' house, and I thank Lana for driving as we step out of the car.
We step into the house, our movements quiet as we try not to disturb my sleeping grandparents. I glance at Lana and whisper, "You can sleep in my room or I can set you up in the spare room," offering her the choice.
She shoots me a playful look. "Yeah, I'm not about to crash in the same bed where you and Jacob cuddle up," she quips, though her voice is hushed.
"Shh, Lana, my grandparents might hear you!" I caution, placing a finger to my lips. She covers her mouth and whispers an apology.
Leading her into my room, I offer her to share the bed with me, but she kindly declines, insisting she's fine sleeping on the floor. I grab some blankets for her, and we both settle down for the night. It's as if the moment my head hits the pillow, I'm enveloped in a deep slumber, the exhaustion of the day finally catching up with me.