November 11 #4
Their drinks were delivered and Jasmin sniffed hers before she took a sip.
Her first taste of alcohol wasn’t what she’d thought it would be, sweet with a weird aftertaste.
The first one took a while to put down, the second was a bit better, but by the third she started losing some feeling in her tongue and it became much easier.
“So the wedding is in less than a week,” Sandy said from her left. “Are you nervous about tying the knot?”
“Not at all,” Mandy replied. “Trevor is the greatest man alive, my soulmate. He’s the one.”
Jasmin tried not to roll her eyes at that.
She didn’t believe in soulmates or The One.
It was all airy-fairy hogwash that lacked any kind of factual plausibility.
When people couldn’t explain something, they were inclined to believe that it is the workings of a higher power.
Fate. Destiny. It wasn’t that she didn’t believe in religion or divine intervention, but surely those supreme beings were busy and had better things to do with their time than play matchmaker to every person on the planet.
She kept her cynical opinion to herself, though.
Mandy was happy believing such nonsense, and Jasmin didn’t want to burst her bubble.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to settle down,” Candy said. “There are too many options and too little time. I like sex too much and I can’t put a limitation on that.”
“What’s it like?” Jasmin asked, a little nervous to reveal her ignorance to them. “To have sex, I mean?”
“OMG!” Candy grabbed her face and plucked a kiss on her right cheek. “You are just too adorable. Sex is amazing, Brandy! It’s hot and dirty and fucking mind-blowing. Well…if you have the right guy with the right sized equipment.”
Jasmin had always believed Rachel when she said that sex was overrated and size didn’t matter, but now she was starting to doubt that. “What’s the right size equipment?”
“Let’s wait until the strippers come on and then we’ll give you a proper lesson.”
It was barely a half-hour wait before the show started. In that time Jasmin consumed another drink and was a bit flustered when she saw the first dancer on stage. He was dressed like a sailor and one look at him proved why women loved a man in uniform. He was absolutely delectable.
The music started and he gyrated his hips before ripping off his shirt. A scream burst out of her. She didn’t mean for that to happen, it was just the intense shock. His body glistened, muscles bulging everywhere. Everywhere.
“Oh, my God!” Jasmin shouted. “Is that photoshopped?”
Mandy giggled, almost falling over. “He’s right in front of you, in the flesh. How can he be photoshopped?”
It just didn’t seem real. He was too perfect to be real. His pants were ripped off next.
“It’s getting hot in here,” Sandy said, fanning herself. “Take it OFF!”
He went full Monty and Jasmin actually gasped. It was huge, so much bigger than she ever thought a penis could be. And he swung it around like it was an arm or something. “That is a cock! That is an actual cock!”
“And THAT is the right size equipment,” Candy said with a wide grin.
There were a few dancers after that. A fireman and a pilot, but her personal favorite was the police officer.
He was positively drool-worthy and he came to the table to grind up on the bride-to-be.
Mandy pushed him away, saying that only one man grinds up on her.
Reluctantly, he turned to the rest of them, smiling as he climbed onto their table.
Thrusting his hips, he slowly slid his hand down his rock hard abs and into his underwear.
Jasmin’s eyes widened as she stared up at this dancing Adonis and she felt trapped between fits of giggles and trepidation of what was about to come.
He was about to release his man appendage and he was dangerously close to her face.
She felt like she was watching a horror movie.
Her face was buried in Candy’s shoulder, but she was still peeping, just waiting to see what happened next.
Police officer pulled off his underwear and the crowd erupted with whoops.
Sandy rubbed her hands up and down his legs. “Give us a helicopter dick!”
Jasmin didn’t know what that was, but it became apparent a few seconds later. “How is he doing that?” She was equally flabbergasted and awe-struck. “My fragile, young mind will never be the same again.”
Although the strippers were the highlight of her evening, the fun didn’t stop once it was over. They played a drinking game, taking a shot every time Sandy said something dumb or inappropriate and she could feel herself becoming more inebriated with every passing hour.
“Okay,” Mandy said, “give us your best pick-up line…with a pout. Now that we’ve gotten you out of those sweatpants, let’s work on your flirting skills.”
Jasmin thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay. I got one…Hey, stud. According to the second rule of thermodynamics…” She threw in the pout just then. “…you’re supposed to share your hotness with me.”
There was silence around the table. Three pairs of discombobulated eyes were focused on her at once.
“What the fuck?!” Candy shouted, abruptly ending the silence.
Sandy slapped her shoulder, expressing her utter disappointment. “Who are you? Amy Farah Fowler? That is the worst pick-up line ever! It would only work on Sheldon.”
“I saw it while I was doing some research and I thought it was really smart,” Jasmin countered.
“A bit corny, but really smart. And…at the same time, it’s also…
kinda sexy.” They still weren’t convinced and her drunken brain had to find a way to describe it just right.
“Aw, c’mon. In every reaction, some energy is always lost to heat and…
heat…” It was becoming a little harder to talk now.
“…will naturally flow from a warm body to a cooler body, so…you’re supposed to share your hotness with me? Get it?”
“You explained it,” Sandy said, squinting her eyes like the explanation made her head hurt. “And now I’m actually more confused. Flirting is not supposed to be smart. Playful, yes. Dirty, definitely. But it should never be smart.”
“You know what?” Mandy said, sounding much more sober than she was. “When you get back upstairs, use that line on Loverboy and let’s see if he thinks it’s sexy.”
Candy looked over at her then. “Speaking about Kevin. Is there…something happening between the two of you?”
Jasmin snorted. “No! Kevin doesn’t even like me.”
“Are you sure? I mean, the way he looks at you…I just thought…”
The way he looked at her wasn’t something she should get excited about. It was merely his reaction to surprise. “Trust me, he has no interest in me.”
“What about you? Do you like him?”
The events of the day flashed through the intoxicated haze of her mind, causing it to spin with uncertainty and unanswered questions. “Only two percent of the time,” she replied.
“So tomorrow we’re gonna have a blast,” Mandy said, pulling them out of their private conversation. “We’re gonna do a full tour of Vegas and you’re coming with us, Brandy. I’ll introduce you to Trevor and his younger brother, Dean. You’ll love Dean.”
“Dean is yummy,” Sandy agreed. “Will you come?”
“Sure.”
“Cool.” Mandy took out her cell phone and tried with difficulty to focus on the screen. “Okay, so I have eight hundred and sixty dollars left of my budget, give or take, and three days left in Vegas so—”
“Why are you so pedantic about this stuff?” Sandy groaned. “Let’s just have fun.”
“I need a daily budget. How will I have fun if I run out of money?” She looked back at her phone.
“It’s two hundred, eighty-six dollars and sixty-six cents…per day,” Jasmin said.
“Whatever,” Candy said with a laugh.
“No, she’s right.” Mandy leaned forward and looked at her like she was an alien. “How did you do that? And in your drunken state?”
She shrugged. “I’m good at math.”
Sandy also seemed intrigued by this. “So you can do that…all in your head?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” she challenged. “What’s four hundred and twenty-three multiplied by…eighty-two?”
Jasmin laughed, because she really didn’t see the point of the challenge, but answered anyway. “Thirty…thirty-four thousand, six hundred, and eighty-six.”
“She did that faster than I could type,” Mandy said.
“You are drunk,” Jasmin pointed out.
“So are you.”
“Next one. What’s two thousand, nine hundred and…ninety-five multiplied by…eight thousand and seventy-six?”
“Why are we doing this?”
“Because, unlike your pick-up line, this is actually cool.”
She smiled at the thought. It was nice that they appreciated the talent instead of teasing her about it like some of the kids did at school. It was nice to be considered…cool. “It’s twenty-four million, one hundred and eighty-seven thousand, six hundred and twenty.”
Sandy looked over Mandy’s shoulder at her cell phone. “You’re unbelievable!”
Candy excused herself and left the table.
She didn’t come back. Jasmin knew exactly where she went.
Kevin was all alone in their hotel room and Candy wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.
Jasmin did her best to ignore it and focused on having fun with the other two ladies.
This beat the calculator became a new drinking game.
The bigger the numbers, the more alcohol they consumed.
Needless to say, when the night finally came to an end, she needed assistance getting back to her hotel room.
“Special delivery,” Mandy sang as she knocked on the door.
Kevin opened it a few seconds later and even though she’d been looking at strippers all night, the sight of his bare chest caused her body to heat up to an abnormally high level. The silver chain around his neck drew her eyes to the rounded muscles of his chest and his perfectly sculpted abs.
He shook his head when he saw them. “Oh, God. What did you guys do to her?”