December 1
Birmingham, Alabama
Jasmin couldn’t take the anticipation anymore.
They’d spent the entire day on the road yesterday, driving straight through Mississippi.
They only stopped for lunch and then to book into a hotel when the sun began to set.
She’d managed to pry Kevin out of bed early this morning and got as far as Alabama.
As soon as they checked into a hotel, Kevin disappeared without any explanation.
She was disappointed. This would be their last night together.
Tomorrow when they got to Georgia, they would part ways.
She didn’t want to say goodbye to him, but she hadn’t asked him to stay either.
She wanted to be with him tonight. She was anxious about meeting her mother and he had a way of calming her down.
But now he was gone and after tomorrow, she would probably never see him again.
She’d known this was coming all along, yet just the thought of it was hurting her to nth degree.
Maybe it didn’t have to end. She was in charge of her own destiny.
They had their own lives to lead, their own storms to face, but that didn’t mean it had to end.
She was still thinking about a way to ask him when he came through the door with a huge grin on his face.
“Let’s go,” he said.
Her eyebrows creased with confusion. “Where?”
“Just get your keys and let’s go.”
Feeling wary, she stood up, grabbed her purse and headed out the door with him. Once they were in the car, he told her to punch in a specific address into the GPS. Fifteen minutes later, they were in a residential area and she became even more confused.
“Kevin, where are we going?”
“To dinner.”
She passed house after house and didn’t see a single restaurant. She turned into a narrow, tree-lined street and a few meters later the GPS dinged. “Arriving at destination.”
She looked up at the white, two-story house and still couldn’t piece it together. “Is this family of yours?”
“No.” His excited smile made her more curious. “C’mon.”
He opened his door and waited for her to meet him at the front of the car before taking her hand to lead to the front door. He knocked and the door opened almost immediately, as if their arrival was expected.
“Hi, Kevin,” a redhead woman said cheerfully. “And you must be Jasmin?”
“Uh…yep. That’s me.”
“Jazz, this is Loretta. She was kind enough to offer us a home-cooked meal.”
Loretta smiled warmly. “Come on in.”
Three kids swarmed around them, two girls who looked to be between the ages of five and seven and a boy who couldn’t have been older than three.
“This is Jamie and Mary-Jo,” Loretta said and then lifted the boy into her arms. “And this little guy is Connor. Say hi, kids.”
“Hi,” the girls chorused but Connor buried his face in his mother’s neck.
“He gets shy around new faces,” Loretta explained as she led them into a large dining room. “Wade, honey, they’re here.”
The aroma in the room made her mouth water. Corn on the cob, dripping with melted butter, mashed potatoes and cream spinach. It all looked so tempting. She wanted to devour everything in sight.
Wade entered the dining room, a burly man with a thick auburn beard and friendly brown eyes.
He kissed Loretta on the cheek, then took Connor from her hands.
“Have a seat,” Loretta told them. “I’m just going to get the pot roast…Oh, sweetie, don’t put that in your mouth.”
Mary-Jo spat out a Lego before taking a seat next to Jasmin at the long oval table. “I like your hair,” she whispered, twirling a lock around her finger.
Jasmin took note that her hand was covered in spit, but smiled anyway. “I like yours too.”
“You guys must be tired of traveling,” Wade sat down at the head of the table and reached for the meatloaf. “Kevin says you’ve been on the road for almost a month.”
Jasmin was still confused by this arrangement and how Kevin had even met them to begin with, but her questions could wait for later. “Yeah. It hasn’t been too bad, but there’s only so much takeout one can stomach. Thank you so much for having us.”
Loretta came in and placed the steaming pot roast in the middle of the table. “What are you waiting for?” She took Connor again and sat down, keeping him on her lap. “Dig in.”
They didn’t need a second invitation. She and Kevin both took a little of everything and Wade said a prayer before they began eating.
“This is delicious,” Jasmin said. “All of it. You’re an amazing cook, Loretta.”
“Thank you.” She looked over at Wade with a teasing grin. “At least someone around here appreciates it.”
“I never said you weren’t a great cook. I said you need to feed me smaller portions before I start looking like a walrus.” He slapped his bulging belly with both hands. “I need to stay sexy for you, woman.”
Loretta’s smile turned into something more flirtatious. “You’re always sexy to me.”
Jasmin giggled as she watched the two of them.
This kind of loving banter was something she hadn’t witnessed at home.
Her dad had never even dated and now she understood why Kevin believed all the hogwash.
He’d seen this growing up and she could see why it was so easy to get sucked into that kind of love. Maybe one day she could have that too.
Dinner was amazing. It wasn’t just the food that was great, it was the company.
They held a conversation whilst scolding the children in between.
Jasmin found it fascinating how they could be hosts and parents at the same time.
Wade told them about how he was supposed to play pro-baseball, but gave it up when Loretta became pregnant with Jamie.
He was a man who made his family his number one priority and Loretta was an equally devoted mother.
It was both a torment and a delight to watch them as a family and every now and then, when it got too much, Kevin rubbed his hand down her thigh under the table.
After dinner Wade and Loretta disappeared into the kitchen to wash up, leaving them alone with the kids.
Mary-Jo braided her hair, embellishing it with colorful ribbons, while Connor and Jamie climbed onto the couch beside Kevin and coerced him into reading them a story.
He didn’t even protest. It might have been the influence of his nieces, but being around kids came naturally to him.
She could see that he would make a great dad someday.
“Time to decorate the Christmas tree,” Loretta announced from the entrance of the living room.
“Oh.” Jasmin immediately stood up. “We’d better get going.”
Loretta exchanged looks with Kevin and after a slight nod, he turned back to Jasmin. “We’ll stay for a bit, Jazz.”
This was a personal, family thing and she felt like they were intruding, but Loretta intervened before she could object. “We’d really love for you guys to stay. Now…what do you prefer? Lights? Tinsel? Bells?”
Jasmin had to swallow the lump that instantly formed in her throat. “It…it doesn’t really matter.” She pretended to cough to hide the unsteadiness in her voice. “I’ve gotten used to doing this by myself.”
Loretta smiled like she didn’t pick up on the undertone of sadness (she did), and gave Jasmin’s shoulders a quick squeeze. Maybe that was supposed to be some sort of comfort, but an ever-tightening throat was the only effect it had.
Wade came in carrying a box of Christmas decorations and placed it on the table a few feet away from the bare tree. Jasmin watched silently as they strung up the lights and Silent Night playing in the background only made it worse.
“C’mon,” Loretta urged, looking back at her over her shoulder.
Kevin took her hand and walked with her to the box, but before she could reach for anything, Jamie piped up.
“Popcorn strings first. Mom helps us make popcorn strings every year.” She shoved one end of the string into Jasmin’s hand. “This goes on before anything else.”
Traditions. They had traditions and she felt privileged that they would let her be a part of that.
Because Kevin was taller, he roped it around the top of the tree before she and Jamie took over to do the middle down to the bottom.
Once that was on, everyone else joined in.
Loretta helped Connor as he struggled to get the strings over the branches and carried him when he wanted to reach higher up on the tree.
Red and green, silver and gold, one by one different colors adorned the tree, changing it from insignificant and lifeless into something magical.
She got sucked into it—the carols, the laughter, the arguments about where the angel should go. She loved every second.
“Here,” Loretta said, handing her and Kevin a glittered white snowflake. Each one had their name written on it with a black marker. “Now every year when we put it up, we’ll think of the two of you.”
Again, Jasmin felt her throat constrict and tried to smile through it. She turned and hung hers up on the third branch from the top. As she did so, Kevin came up behind her and hung his on the branch right next to hers so that the edges of the snowflakes were overlapping.
“You know, two snowflakes are never the same,” he whispered against her ear. “But even though they may be different, it’s possible for them to fall on the same spot. Maybe it’s just the Law of Gravity.”
She half turned to look at him over her shoulder and he stole a quick kiss.
“Or maybe…it’s something more, Jasmin.”
Her heart felt like it was ready to burst. She just couldn’t get a hold of herself tonight.
“Who wants hot chocolate?” Loretta sang.
The kids erupted with Yes’s and I do’s.
“I’ll help,” Jasmin offered. She actually just wanted to get out of there to have a few minutes to pull herself together. She followed Loretta into the kitchen.
“Mugs are in that cupboard on the top shelf.”
As Jasmin walked to the other side of the kitchen, she noticed a cardboard sign that read:
WANTED: Two lonely kids looking for a family to rent so we can decorate a Xmas tree. A home-cooked meal is not required, but it would be nice.
Her breath caught for a second. “Did…did Kevin do this?” she asked softly.
Loretta turned to her and smiled. “Yeah. He’s so cute. Wade and I found him sitting with that sign outside the supermarket. He told us he’d been waiting there for hours. I read that sign and my heart just melted.”
“He has a way of doing that.” She lost herself in that sign for a few moments before turning to the other woman. “Thank you so much for this, Loretta.”
She didn’t know if it was the shakiness in her voice or the expression on her face that made Loretta cross the kitchen and pull her into a tight hug.
“There’s no need to thank me. Kevin didn’t give us any details, but I took one look at the two of you tonight and I can see that this has been a hard road for you both. We just wanted to do something to make it a little easier, even if it’s something small.”
“It isn’t small,” Jasmin said, squeezing her tighter.
So much for pulling herself together; she was an even bigger mess now.
They made the hot chocolate and drank it around the fire as Wade told them stories about Santa and his elves and how they all needed to be good children if they wanted to get the swing set they’d asked him for.
Jasmin wasn’t really paying much attention to what he said.
She was just trying to absorb all the magic of this one night.
Eventually, she couldn’t take anymore and began bidding her farewell to all of them.
“Thanks again for having us,” she said as she walked with Kevin to the door.
“Not a problem at all,” Wade said. “And if you’re ever in Alabama again, be sure to stop by.”
After a few hugs, she walked out, marching straight down the pathway to her car. Kevin waited for them to close the front door before he chased after her.
“Hey…Jazz.” He caught her elbow and turned her to face him. “Are you all right?”
“No, I’m not all right. The next time you decide to not be a jerk, how about you give me a heads up first?”
He coughed out a short laugh. “Are you seriously mad at me right now?”
“Yes!” she shouted, throwing her hands up. “Why? Why would you do that to me?”
The question was irrelevant because she already knew why he did it.
No matter what happened with her mother tomorrow, this was something she would have never experienced.
And because this was their last night together, it was his last opportunity to show her what a real, happy family was like.
She hated him for it and yet she didn’t hate him at all.
“Instead of me telling you all the time, I wanted to show you what it was like,” he replied.
“You’re a fucking jerk!” She marched a few more steps to her car, then stopped and marched right back.
“I would have been better off not knowing. They have that every day. You have that every day…and you take it for granted!” She shoved her finger hard into his shoulder, struggling with every breath to keep her composure.
“Your mom calls you all the time and you look for any excuse to end the conversation. You have both parents and siblings and nieces and nephews, this whole big fucking family and all of them love you…I would…I would give anything to have what you have.”
“I know. And I wish I could give you that, Jazz…but I can’t. All I could give you was this night of illusion…and I know it’s not enough, but—”
“It’s enough,” she sighed, meeting his eyes so he’d know she meant it. “It’s more than enough.”
He smiled as he grabbed the front of her jacket and pulled her towards him.
“I know you’re one of them big dick motherfuckers and what I’m about to do is really not what you want right now, so I’m gonna make this as quick and painless as possible.
Just swoop down low and attack fast. You won’t even see it coming. ”
Confusion wrinkled her face. “What are you talking about?”
The question wasn’t even fully out before both his arms wrapped around her shoulders, gripping her tightly against his chest. “There you go.”
“Are you…are you hugging me? After all that you have the nerve to hug me?”
“Yep,” he said, pulling her closer. “That’s a hug right there.
And because you took advantage of this limited offer…
” His voice became more dramatic, sounding very much like an exuberant telemarketer.
“I’m going to throw in some cuddles absolutely free.
” He plastered kisses on her cheek and nuzzled his face into her neck.
“Oh, the cuddles. Don’t you love the cuddles? ”
She did. She buried her face in his chest and hugged him tight.
This night was perfect, so painfully perfect, but it would end soon and she would have to let it go, keep it only in her memory.
Tomorrow this road trip, her time with him, was due to come to an end too and as she held him she realized that she was in no way ready to say goodbye.