Chapter 5 #3
Instead of letting himself get sucked into asking what the heck a waxing night was, Emmett blurted out, “I’m a little.”
The lighthearted bickering ground to a halt, and Kenneth’s fingers flexed around Emmett’s, but he didn’t let go. No one said anything for a long, excruciating moment, and then CJ cleared his throat.
“I’m not sure I really know what that is,” he said carefully, ducking his head to meet Emmett’s eyes and smiling gently. “If you’re comfortable, will you tell us about it?”
“Um, okay.” He hadn’t expected this. Why had he assumed they’d just know about ageplay simply because they were into other kinky stuff?
“That’s where you like to pretend to be a kid, right?” Ollie asked before he could figure out how his mouth worked. “And you have a mommy or daddy who, like, cuddle you and stuff. It’s all sweet and adorable and shit, right?”
“That’s… well, yeah. Sort of.” He took a deep breath and peeked at the door to make sure no one was about to come in and overhear them. “It’s like you have an inner child that you let out sometimes to play and relax and not have to deal with yucky grown-up stuff.”
Yucky. Whoops, the vulnerable way talking about it was making him feel had his little side pushing to the surface.
“That sounds cool as hell,” CJ said. “Grown-up stuff is yucky.”
“Totally,” Ollie agreed. “That’s kind of how I feel when I wear my cock cage. Like… all the bad stuff disappears, and all I can focus on is Six.”
“Same,” Kenneth admitted, voice soft and cheeks flushing a dark red. “When Houston ties me up… my whole brain shuts off. All I can do is feel.”
Emmett sucked in a deep breath, his eyes stinging as he nodded. They got it. They got him. “I’ve never… I’ve only ever been little by myself or with Roni, but it’s not the same as it will be with a daddy. I don’t think, anyway.”
Kenneth’s hand tightened almost to the point of pain on his. “Are you thinking about sharing your little side with Rooster? There’s no rush.”
“No, I know,” Emmett said quickly, so touched this man who’d just met him was worried Rooster was rushing him. “We’ve talked about it a lot and been on a few dates—”
“Nice,” Ollie stage-whispered. “Moving slowly is smart when you’re new to things.”
Emmett’s brows shot up, and he glanced at him. “Slowly? We’ve only been on three dates, and we’re planning on taking things to the next level already.”
Ollie shrugged, grinning. “I moved in with Six basically the day I met him.”
Emmett’s mouth gaped open. “Seriously?”
Nodding, he added, “There were some extenuating circumstances, but yeah. I pretty much moved into the clubhouse for what was supposed to be a weekend, maybe a week, while Six made sure it was safe for me to go home, but I never left.”
“That’s…” Crazy? Insane?
Romantic as all get out?
“I know.” Ollie laughed. “But when you know—”
“You know,” CJ and Kenneth finished for him at the same time.
Emmett smiled, heart clenching. These three were so close, way closer than any friends Emmett had ever had. He ached to be a part of that, hoping he could prove himself worthy of being welcomed into their tight-knit group.
“I think I know,” Emmett said softly. “It’s just kind of scary. The only person who’s ever seen me as Emmie—”
“Is that your little name? Oh my god, that’s so cute,” Ollie gushed, making him blush.
“Hush, you,” CJ said, waving a hand at him. “Go ahead, Emmett.”
“Only Roni’s seen me as Emmie, and the first time was an accident.
But Rooster and I have plans for a date tomorrow with little time, and I just feel…
” He wasn’t sure. He was nervous, yeah, but also excited.
The whole thing felt like a monumental moment, like their futures hinged on it, and that was a lot of pressure for him.
“Hey, look at me,” Ollie said, sounding serious for the first time all day.
He clapped his hands on Emmett’s cheeks again like he had earlier, but he didn’t squish his face together, instead gently but firmly holding him in place.
“It’s completely natural to be nervous, but don’t let that stop you from having something you need. ”
“But what if… what if he doesn’t like me as Emmie?” Emmett whispered, tears sprouting in his eyes as he voiced the one worry he’d been holding closest, afraid to voice it and have it come true. “He’s never spent time with a little before.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Ollie’s face scrunched, and he sniffled. “Don’t make me cry. My eyeliner will run.” He shook his head and took a deep breath. “If he doesn’t like you as Emmie, then he isn’t the man we think he is, and he’s not worthy of you, do you hear me?”
“He’s right,” CJ said behind him, but Ollie held him in place so he couldn’t look over at him. “I know it’s easy to let our worries consume us, but you want this, right?”
“More than anything.” He wasn’t sure if CJ meant a relationship with Daddy and little time or Rooster, but his answer wouldn’t change either way.
“Then you need to trust yourself and him,” Kenneth said, placing a warm hand on Emmett’s back. “It may be the scariest thing you’ll ever do, but I bet it will also be the easiest when the moment comes. Rooster will make you feel safe, and all you’ll have to worry about is what toys to play with.”
Rooster did make him feel safe, more than he ever had before.
Even more than Roni did, and he hadn’t thought that was possible.
Every time Rooster looked at him or laid a hand on his shoulder or leg, Emmett felt all the tension begin to release inside him.
It was like a magic trick or a cheat code only Rooster possessed.
“And maybe you should mention to him about being worried before the date,” Ollie said, brushing at the dampness beneath Emmett’s eyes and releasing him. “Talking it through with him will help a ton, I bet.”
“You’re right.” Emmett cleared his throat and took a steadying breath. “You all are. Thank you.”
“God damn, you’re so cute,” Ollie practically squealed, the heaviness of the moment seeping away. “Do you do playdates? I bet you’d be a blast to play with.”
A man who made his heart sing with happiness and friends who not only accepted him but wanted to spend time with him while he was little? He wasn’t sure how he’d gotten so lucky, but—for the first time in a long time—he was starting to think maybe he actually deserved them.