Chapter Two #2
“I do not want the money.” His demeanor said he wanted to close the distance between them, but thankfully, he remained rooted to the spot.
“I wanted the kiss, and I want you, my lady. If not for this silliness devised by bored women, I had intended to ask you to dance this evening and for permission to court you. But when Aurelia presented this option, I couldn’t resist.”
“Court me?” The very idea made her breathless with excitement, as well as terrified at all the freedoms she would lose if she courted, then married. She simply wasn’t ready to be…to be…a responsible adult, for lack of a better definition. “You cannot court me.”
“Why?” He stepped forward then, making her back up until she bumped against the bookshelves.
“Why?” she asked.
“Yes. Why?” He moved closer. “I know you have no regard for Polite Society’s segregation of nobility, landed gentry, and commoners.
Not only have you openly defended Aurelia when she’s been treated poorly by a select few, but you’ve defended me.
I’ve overheard you, and Aurelia has sung your praises. ”
“I do not wish to marry.” If she married, all the good the Reader’s Dare Club did would be lost, as would all the excitement, camaraderie, and fun it provided.
How would she raise an equal amount of money for her causes without her precious gambling hell?
How would she spend her Tuesday afternoons?
But the way he looked at her…the way he kissed.
He must surely be the devil himself, because he made her want to throw herself into his arms and do all the scandalous things she’d read about in her sister Fortuity’s books. Lust. That’s what this was. Lust!
“I do not wish to marry,” she repeated in a steadier tone that made her proud.
“Why?”
“My reasons are my own.”
“You don’t wish to marry me, or you don’t wish to marry anyone?”
“I don’t wish to marry anyone and lose my freedom, and that is all I am going to say on the matter.” She pointed at the door. “Out with you. Now.”
“It is locked. Remember?”
“Knock on it,” she said, forcing the words through clenched teeth. She had to get out of here, go somewhere she could clear her head and cool down before she exploded into a ball of flames—or worse, did or agreed to something she would soon regret.
He stared at her—glowered, actually, eyeing her as if deciding on the most effective means of attack.
“What freedoms are you in fear of losing if you marry? If you were my wife, we could still attend any function you wished. We could still spend part of the Season in London and the rest of the time at my manor in the country. Winterswick is quite a pleasant village in the Lake District. Not that far from Binnocksbourne, so you could visit family any time you wished. Aurelia loves it and doesn’t miss Town a bit whenever we’re there. ”
“I do not wish to marry.” She couldn’t explain it to him. He would never understand. No man would.
“You will not be rid of me,” he said, jutting his chin to a stubborn angle that made him even more irresistible. “I mean to marry you, my lady.”
Joy rubbed her forehead. How had she ever gotten into such a pickle?
She needed to get out of here. She needed her sisters.
Heaven help her, she needed to speak with her sisters.
They would help her decide if this wanting was merely lust or something deeper.
Because, truth be told, she had always admired Sir Jansen from afar.
Had she been just as guilty about watching him as he’d been about watching her? She shuddered.
“You need to go,” she told him.
He swelled with a deep breath, narrowed his eyes, and shot her a frown so dark it made her weak in the knees. “I will go on one condition.”
She could only imagine what that condition was—his demeanor shouted it. “What condition would that be, sir?”
“Two conditions.”
“Do not be greedy.”
“They are easy conditions,” he added with a thoughtful nod.
Unable to resist, she rolled her eyes. “What?”
“Call me Jansen—not sir or mister. Jansen. My Christian name that my wife will use when not speaking to me with endearments such as ‘my darling’ or ‘my love.’”
“If you remain this bossy and rulemaking, the only endearment your wife will likely use is my horse’s arse of a husband.”
She should not have said that. What was it about this man that made whatever came into her head dash out of her mouth?
He grinned, then shrugged. “If need be, I will answer to my horse’s arse of a husband.”
“Your second condition?”
“You will allow me to court you.”
“No.”
“Then we are going to be in here for a very long while.” He eased closer. “Is that what you truly want?”
She couldn’t handle that. The closer he came, the more muddled she got in the battle with her emotions, a battle she’d never really had to fight before. She knew how to gamble. She did not know how to do this.
Hands thrown up in surrender, she said, “Fine. I will consider it.”
He shook his head. “No, my lady. There is nothing to consider. You either agree to court me so I can convince you that you should be my wife, or we will stay in this library alone until Lady Atterley’s servants come to douse the candles and discover us.
Not even my sister or your friends will be able to remove me or vouch that we were never left alone.
Because I will make certain the truth is told.
Then you would be faced with yet another option—a marriage of convenience to save your family’s name. ”
“You are a stubborn, infuriating horse’s arse.”
“Thank you, my darling. You are an irresistible, intelligent beauty. A rare combination, I assure you.” He resettled his stance, smiling like the devil that he was. “What will it be, my lady?”
“Fine,” she said with an explosive huff. “You may court me.”
He gave her a formal bow, then went to the door and knocked. “The dare is complete, ladies. Open the door.”
A smiling Aurelia bounced into the room, then came up short. Her smile disappeared. “Oh dear. What did you do, Jansen? Joy has a face like thunder.”
“Never mind that,” Joy said, pointing at the woman she’d considered to be one of her very best friends. “I would like a word with you.” She glared at Jansen. “Alone. You may go.”
He threw back his head and laughed as he sauntered out the door. “Until tomorrow, my lady.”
She did her best to ignore that, choosing instead to sweep across the room, catch Aurelia by the arm, and tug her far enough from the doorway that they didn’t risk being overheard. “I thought you were my friend!”
Aurelia’s jaw dropped, and her eyes filled with tears. “But I am, Joy. Why in heaven’s name would you say that? What in the world did Jansen do?” She clapped a hand over her mouth and gasped. “Was he rude? Did he molest you?”
“Well, of course he didn’t molest me.” Joy backed up a step, shocked at Aurelia’s choice of words. “Has he ever done such a horrid thing to a woman?”
Aurelia stamped her foot like a petulant child. “Absolutely not. My brother is an honorable man. While I agree that he is stubborn, bullheaded, and annoying to no end, he respects women and would never force himself upon one.”
“He kissed me without asking.”
“Uhm.”
“Uhm, what?” Joy said. “That is all you have to say about that?”
Aurelia avoided looking her in the eye. “He knew about the dare. Knew that if you lost, his winnings would be enhanced with a kiss.” She cleared her throat and gave a cringing shrug. “Did you happen to lose the game?”
Joy didn’t doubt that he knew about the kiss, because, fool that she was, she had told him herself.
“I was in the process of losing the hand, but we had yet to finish. I could’ve come around and won with the proper cards and strategy.
” She hated the shrewish tone she’d taken and coughed to hide it.
“My issue with you is that you never told me of his habit of tracking me like prey, about his hallucinating about me on the battlefield.” She shook a finger.
“And you were the one to suggest him for the dare. You knew what would happen.”
“I didn’t know for sure.” Aurelia shook her head so fast that her ebony curls bounced in disarray.
“With Jansen, you never know for sure.” She chewed on her bottom lip, then wet it as if preparing to give a speech.
“He is quite smitten with you, Joy. Even more so since he came back from Greece. Where is the harm in his thinking you are his angel?” She held up a hand.
“I know that sounds as though his attic’s emptied itself, but I swear, he is quite sane.
” She chewed on her lip some more. “Before Papa died, he warned me that war could change Jansen. It did. It made him determined to make you his wife. Is that not romantic?”
“Romantic? He said he’d been watching me since the beginning of the Season before last. That’s over two years. You don’t find that strange?”
“Well, he couldn’t watch you the entire time,” Aurelia said.
“He was on the Continent six of those months. Helping the Greeks fight the Ottomans.” Her frustration clear, she hugged herself.
“Jansen can be such a dear. Can you not at least give him a chance? I know you’re the daughter of a duke, but he’s quite wealthy and well respected amongst the other gentry and peerage alike. ”
Hurt that Aurelia would even think her capable of such prejudice, Joy turned away. “You know me better than that. When has someone’s class ever colored my regard for them?”
“Then is it simply because you don’t want to lose the Reader’s Dare Club? Is that why you wish to spurn him?”
“I am not yet ready to marry.”
Aurelia shook her head. “Then don’t. Simply take the time to get to know him better.
Allow him to show you the man that he is.
All you know about him is what I’ve told you, and what you’ve seen at all these silly parties we’re paraded through in search of husbands.
” She shrugged. “At least, if it’s known that the two of you are courting, that will protect you from other men sniffing around for a fine, plump dowry. ”
Upon hearing that suggestion, Joy remembered why she and Aurelia were such good friends. The girl was brilliant when it came to examining a situation from every angle. “You make a fine point there.”
“Then we are still friends?” Aurelia reminded Joy of one of Gracie’s puppies after it had been scolded for piddling on the floor. “Please?”
Joy shook a finger, but this time, she wasn’t nearly as stern. “No more secrets about your brother. Agreed? I need you on my side, not his. In this matter alone, of course. Can you do that?”
“I can do that.”
“Good.” Joy released a heavy sigh. “Now, I get to tell my sisters and my irritating brother that I’ve agreed to court Sir Jansen Winterstone.”
*
Back home in his personal study, Jansen sat staring at the dwindling fire while partaking in a last, relaxing glass of brandy for the evening.
He deemed the battle in Lady Atterley’s library a success, but he had yet to win the war and enjoy the spoils.
Damn, Lady Joy was a passionate woman—she just didn’t know it.
The way she had returned that kiss. Opened to him.
Her faint moan before she pushed away had nearly undone him.
He had to proceed with care to ensure he didn’t lose her.
Another sip from the snifter burned its way down his gullet, promising to numb the constant, dull ache in his shoulder.
The field doctor had assured him that the bullet had passed straight through, but Jansen wasn’t so sure.
At times, he swore he felt the grind of metal against bone.
Perhaps the bullet had left a few shards as a cruel memento.
A knock on the door finally interrupted the silence of the room. He knew who it was, and it was about damn time. “Come in, Aurie.”
“You almost cost me a friend!” She headed straight for the cabinet and poured herself a brandy. “If I lose Lady Joy’s good humor because of you, I will torment you the rest of your days. She accused me of conspiring with you and against her.”
“Which you did.”
“That is not the point. I had no idea you’d leave her in such a stir. She said you kissed her without permission!”
“I wouldn’t exactly put it that way.”
“How would you put it?” Aurelia flopped into the chair beside him and nearly spilled her drink.
“Easy there. Our smuggler only comes through once every other month. Mustn’t waste a good brandy with petulance.
” Jansen took another sip of his own drink, drew in a deep breath, then allowed it to ease out.
“If she hadn’t wanted me to kiss her, she would have never told me about it.
She informed me it was part of the stakes. ”
“She was simply laying out the rules.”
“And I simply followed them the way I wished to.” He grinned at his sister. He couldn’t help it. “I am indebted to you, Aurie. She agreed to court me.”
“I know. I finally got her to admit it to me, too, so you, at least, have a witness.” She slowly shook her head while staring at the fire. “I worry that you and I both told her your angel story. She probably thinks you’re a little rattled in the brainbox.”
“Did you make that opinion worse or better?” He eyed his sister, wondering just how loyal she was and to whom. She adored Lady Joy.
“Better, I hope. I told her what Papa said about wars changing men.”
“Thank you, Aurie.”
“You better convince her to marry you. I don’t like it when my friends are angry with me.”
“I shall do my very best.”