Chapter 12
I trudged to the Keurig and brewed a cup of coffee. I wasn’t even a coffee drinker, but I found myself drinking a cup every morning since the last time I spoke to Kyrie. My heart was torn to pieces. When he stopped calling as much, I felt like I was reaching the end of a beautiful journey, finding out it was only a dream. I hadn’t texted him, and he hadn’t messaged me either. It had been two weeks since he’d broken things off with me.
I hadn’t even told my brother, because him celebrating my agony would cause me to punch him in his damn throat. Micah could tell something was going on the day I went back to work and had pieced it together. I lay in her arms nearly that entire night, crying my eyes out. Although I could feel it coming, I didn’t expect Kyrie to completely pull away from me. After we had the most amazing night, he left me drowning in my feelings because I tried to protect him.
I refused to be strung along though. Hanging around until he made up his mind was a no-go for me. While I knew that was exactly what I would be doing, he didn’t need to know that. There was no man alive that would make me feel the things Kyrie did. My emotions were all over the place, and the longer I went without hearing from him, the more I felt like a fool.
Maybe I did get used, just like my brother had said Kyrie would do. Ugh! Everything about him seemed sincere to me, and I was usually a good judge of character. It was extremely hard not to reach out to him, but I had to stick to my guns. I meant what I said. I wasn’t going to stick around only for him to continue dragging my heart through the mud. Here it was, Thanksgiving week, and I was spending it at work. I volunteered to work someone else’s shift so they could go out of town.
I would be working six days this week, right through the holiday. My mama was upset that I wouldn’t be there for Thanksgiving but promised to bring me a couple of plates. I stirred my coffee after adding sugar and creamer to it, then made my way to the table.
“Good morning, sis.”
I turned to see Micah joining me. “Good morning.”
“You sound like you’re getting sick. You feel okay?”
“I’m a little congested. I’ll be fine though.”
I grabbed the back of my neck and rolled my head in circles to loosen me up. I’d been working out nearly every day, and my bones were stiff. I hadn’t been soaking like I normally did, so that was probably why. Plus, I’d been lifting heavier weights.
“You still pining over the judge?”
“I miss him, Micah. I mean… I never thought this was how we would end up. I know I have to move on, but it’s hard.”
“I know it is. Well, I have news to share with you.”
I frowned slightly as she sat across from me. “What’s up?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“Heifer!” I screamed then covered my mouth. “Are you going to continue to work?”
“Yes… until I can’t.”
“So umm…”
“Yeah, it’s Kevin’s baby. I gotta pay for that joyride to hell.”
I laughed loudly as Bransford walked in on our party. Micah huffed loudly, and I rolled my eyes as he turned on the TV. The chief was on the news, announcing his retirement at the end of the year. What the hell? He could have given us a heads up that he was going to announce it. I was more than sure Bransford knew. That was how he knew to turn on the TV. I was going to have to have that talk with AJ sooner than later.
I couldn’t believe the chief was cosigning with Bransford to be our new chief. He had to be smoking something if he thought Bransford was anywhere close to leadership material. There was no way in hell I would work for him. I’d transfer out of here quicker than they could blink. Leadership was important to me, and I refused to be led by someone with a skewed vision. Just as I finished my coffee, the horn blared.
“There’s a wreck on Gladys and the freeway.”
That was definitely close to us… maybe only a mile away. We quickly put on our gear and loaded up. Micah hopped in the driver’s seat, and I got in back. It took us all of thirty seconds to get there. However, when I saw the SUV, my heart started beating fast. It looked like Kyrie’s Escalade. I hopped out, quickly running to the SUV. There was no other car involved. He’d hit a telephone pole. The wires were down, and this could become deadly.
When I looked inside the SUV, I saw he was alert. There was a little blood trickling down his face, but he seemed to be okay otherwise. He turned to me and winced. Maybe he wasn’t okay. “My brakes went out. I figured it was better to hit the pole than another car.”
I nodded and went to his side of the vehicle to see if I could open the door. Bransford and Micah joined me when I couldn’t open it with the jaws of life. His vehicle was smoking a lot. I went to get a straight board to make sure we didn’t injure him even more than what he already was. When I rejoined them, Bransford smirked at me. I assumed he knew about Kyrie’s and my past involvement. I rolled my eyes and asked Kyrie, “How fast were you going?”
“Only about thirty miles per hour. I wasn’t in a hurry.”
“Why wasn’t a cop with you?”
He dropped his head back to the seat and shrugged his shoulders. I was pretty sure he knew why. He just didn’t want to tell me. Once they got the door open, we carefully pulled him out. “What hurts, Judge Patrick?” Micah asked.
“Just my head and neck right now. When I hit the pole, my head hit the window.”
I thought he’d just put his window down, but his head had hit it and broken it. He probably had a concussion. He could have also injured his neck. We were sure to be gentle with him. I really hadn’t spoken to him, other than to ask how fast he was going and why he didn’t have a cop with him, but my heart was bleeding. I wanted to kiss him and tell him everything would be okay, instead of treating him like a stranger.
The ambulance finally joined us and came to him to strap him down. When they lifted him to the gurney, Micah and I backed away. His eyes met mine, and I could still see the love he had for me in them. That only made me hurt more. After a wrecker came and towed his vehicle, I started thinking about the accident. He said his brakes went out. Someone had clearly done that to his vehicle. His Escalade was probably only a couple of years old. There was no way the brakes had gone out.
I got back in the truck as I watched the police take a report. Thankfully, the wires that were down were no longer live. All was handled, and it was time for us to get back to the station.
“Are you leaving to go be with your man?”
My eyes narrowed as Bransford chuckled. I wanted to take a piece of metal and hit him across the back of his head. With as emotional as I had been, I knew he knew we were no longer together. I hadn’t received flowers nor food in over two weeks. I refused to answer his question. When he turned in his seat to look back at me, I averted my gaze to the passing scenery, like I had never seen it before.
Surprisingly, he didn’t say anything else. That was best, because I didn’t know how long I would be able to restrain my words of malice. I just wanted to know if Kyrie would be okay. My mama had his mother’s number, and as far as I knew, they talked occasionally. Our breakup had more than likely been a topic of discussion.
When we got back to the firehouse, I hopped out and went to take off my gear. Micah was right behind me. She lightly rubbed my back. “I know that had to be hard.”
I nodded. “The hardest.”
“Well, I’m here if you need me.”
I nodded again. Once I took off my gear, I went to our bunk. I didn’t feel like being social, especially not with Bransford. Lying in bed, I curled up in the fetal position and allowed the tears I had in a chokehold to fall down my cheeks. This was so hard, and I couldn’t wait until I was in a better position to handle it. I knew that would come with time… hopefully.
I pulled into the parking lot of Texas Roadhouse and just sat there. My mama invited me to dinner with her and Samuel, and I just wasn’t feeling it. A week had passed since Kyrie’s accident, and I hadn’t heard a word from him. I’d texted him, saying that I hoped he was okay, and nothing. That only made me feel worse. I felt so rejected. Maybe I’d imagined what I thought I saw in his eyes.
The past week seemed to be even harder than the previous two weeks, but I knew I had to get myself together. This wasn’t healthy. I could end up in a severe state of depression, and that was the last place I wanted to be. I had a reputation for being bubbly and always happy. I couldn’t let Kyrie’s rejection drag me to mentally dangerous places.
After applying lipstick and huffing loudly, preparing myself to deal with Samuel’s bullshit, I got out of my car and headed inside. My mama and Samuel were standing there, about to be escorted to a table. I hugged my mother then Samuel and followed them to a booth. I sat next to my mama, because I needed to be able to see Samuel’s face if he started with his foolishness. I was off today, but I’d been in the house with my grandmother, talking about things and doing laundry. I wasn’t sure what it was about laundry, but she enjoyed doing it.
“Mama, why didn’t you invite Grandma?” I asked her.
“I did, but she said she was going home and eat leftovers. She didn’t want to have to throw them away and today was the last day she felt it would be safe to eat it.”
She chuckled, and I did too. “She must still have some of that shrimp étouffée in her fridge. It has to be, what, three days old?”
“Girl, four. She’s pushing it for sure.”
We laughed as Samuel shook his head with a smile. Although he was quiet, he didn’t seem to be in a bad mood. He was just listening to us talk. Mama turned her attention to him and asked, “How’s work been, son?”
“It’s been somewhat busy, but nothing we aren’t used to. Seems like crime is on a steady incline in Beaumont. It’s discouraging.”
“I know it is. To say the city is much smaller than places like Houston and Dallas, it seems like the crime rate is comparable percentage wise.”
“Maybe with Dallas, but definitely not Houston.”
He chuckled, and we did too as the waitress came and took our drink orders. Once she left, Samuel asked, “So how have things been for you, sis?”
“They’ve been okay. I’m maintaining.”
“Has Kyrie reached out to you yet?”
I frowned slightly. “Why would he be reaching out?”
“Didn’t you help him when he got in that wreck? Knowing where it was, I was pretty sure y’all were first on the scene.”
“I did, and we were. I helped him, and he went on his way with the ambulance.”
“Come on, Genesis. I know you. You’re telling me you didn’t reach out to make sure he was okay?”
“I did, but I didn’t get a response. Now can we drop it?”
He lifted his hands in surrender and things got quiet. The waitress came back with our drinks and set them on the table, then took our orders. When she left, Samuel said, “I didn’t mean to upset you, sis. I apologize. You do know that I just want what’s best for you, right?”
I took a deep breath. “I know that, but only one person knows what’s best for me, Samuel, and that person is me. Well… and the Lord. So, I think He and I have everything under control.”
“Okay. Enough of that, you two. Samuel, what are you going to do for your twenty-fifth birthday? We’re two months away.”
“Probably nothing. We’ve been working quite a bit of overtime lately. After working, the only thing I want to do is go home and sleep. Like, when we leave from here, I’m going home and hop in the bed. I’m gon’ slide to my pillow like it’s home plate.”
Mama and I laughed. “I feel you, brother. I was like that last week. Although we only had two call outs, we stayed busy with classes and cleaning equipment. The bunks are comfortable but not as comfortable as my bed at home. When I got home yesterday morning, I slept nearly the whole day away.”
He chuckled and nodded. “I suppose that’s the life of a first responder.”
I nodded as my mama smiled. “I’m proud of both of you.”
The waitress came back with our food as Samuel’s dispatch thingy went off. He rolled his eyes and dropped his head back to the booth. “I gotta go, y’all. Mama, can you box this food up for me, and I’ll pick it up from your house later?”
“Of course.”
He pulled out his wallet and dropped a hundred-dollar bill on the table. “Dinner is on me. Love y’all.”
“Love you too,” we said in unison.
When he walked off, my mama said, “I’m glad he didn’t go further in about Kyrie. He said people are really after him for the death of Darlene Doll. It’s to the point where the family is even trying to file a civil suit.”
I frowned. “Are you serious? They are wasting their time and money. That’s ridiculous.”
“Yeah. That’s what a lot of people are saying.”
“Hey, y’all.”
I looked up to see Ms. Carolyn, Kyrie’s mother, as she sat across from us, where Samuel had once sat.
“Hey, girl!” my mama said excitedly as she glanced over at me.
I hated that she didn’t tell me she was coming. I hated being blindsided like this.
“Samuel had to leave?”
“Yeah, he got a call.”
“Hey, Genesis. How are you, baby?”
I glanced up at her, and all I could see was Kyrie. “I’m okay.”
I wasn’t okay. I felt like I was about to suffocate. My mama really should have told me. Dragging my fork across my plate, I picked over my food I had planned to fully devour mere minutes ago. My appetite was gone without a trace, and I suddenly felt nauseous. Standing, I excused myself from the table and practically ran to the restroom. As soon as I closed the door to the stall, the nausea stopped. I was just standing here, looking like a fool now.
I went ahead and urinated while I was in there, then went out and washed my hands. I wet a paper towel with cold water and put it to my face to calm me down. My reflection spoke volumes. It reeked of sadness, despair, and loneliness. Today was the day I would make some major changes. If I was going to be the fire chief one day, I had to be a pillar of strength, one that people could look to for leadership. If I was going through my own personal crisis, how would I lead them through crises at work?
Going back out to our booth, I smiled politely and sat. “You okay?” my mama asked.
“Yes, ma’am.” Turning my attention to Ms. Caroline, I asked, “How have you been?”
“I’ve been okay, considering.”
I nodded and stared at my plate, noticing the looks the two of them were giving each other. Choosing to pretend that I didn’t see them, I started eating my food and felt my appetite somewhat coming back until Ms. Carolyn said, “He misses you, and he’s just as miserable as you are.”
I lost it. “Well, he’s the one that pushed me away. I wanted to be there for him. I wanted to help him through what he was feeling, but he couldn’t see a woman protecting him. Oh, excuse me, his woman protecting him. Was that a reason to leave me like I meant nothing to him? I gave everything I had to our relationship. I fell in love with a man that chose his pride and ego over me. So, at this point, I don’t care to know that he misses me. He can do something to change it.”
I dropped my fork and grabbed my purse then left the table. I could hear my mother calling my name, but I refused to turn back. Apparently, Kyrie was doing fine, physically. When I got to my car, I couldn’t even release any tears. I was so angry. I just wanted to get away from them before I got disrespectful. Instead of going home, I went to the gym. Surely, that would help me work off some aggression.