Chapter 10 Little Brother
Little Brother
Tae
“Taehyung-ah, take these tangerines home to your parents. The vitamin C is good for you. And here is some kimchi I made last
week. It should be just ripe enough to eat.”
“Thank you,” Tae said. He bowed to Mrs. Chung, whose husband had died unexpectedly last year. She was about the same age as
Tae’s halmoni would have been if she were still alive, and Tae had a soft spot for her. He agreed to do any and all work she
needed done and always prioritized fixing things around her house. He even made it a point to check in on her if he hadn’t
heard from her in a few days.
“And,” she said, dropping her voice even though it was just the two of them in the house, “this is for you.” She passed him
an envelope, and Tae received it with both hands and a bow.
“Thank you. I’ll be going now. Let me know if you need anything else, anytime.”
“Thank you, Tae. You are such a good boy,” she said as she walked him to his car then went inside.
Tae opened the envelope to find twenty dollars. His gas to her home would cost more than that. But he never talked money with the people he helped. Some paid him a lot, even more than what was fair. And others didn’t. He knew that they’d given what they could afford.
It had been a long day. Tae sat in his car and rubbed his eyes when his phone rang.
“Hello?”
“My mom didn’t even warn me,” Julia said. “She didn’t tell me she’d found someone, and just out of the blue he called me.”
“Who called you?”
“Michael Lee from Fullerton. And Jisoo heard it all. Oh God.” Julia sounded miserable.
“Jules, who is Michael Lee from Fullerton?”
“My first setup. What have I done?” Her groan was loud and over-the-top. What a nut.
“Don’t panic. Remember, we have a plan. Now, tell me everything. When and where is this date?”
“Wednesday at Seoulmeats in K-town at seven.”
“Can you even get to K-town from the Westside by seven?”
“Exactly! See? I said the same thing, and he didn’t listen. And I had to bite my tongue because I’m trying to turn a new leaf
and be an impress-the-man-who-doesn’t-understand-traffic kind of gal.”
She sounded miserable. Tae was amused.
“Let me look up the restaurant and get back to you. Do you have time this weekend, Sunday maybe, for our practice run?”
“Yeah, I only have brunch in the morning with my girlfriends. But after that I’m free.”
“Okay, but don’t eat too much at brunch. I’m gonna feed you again when we meet up. Anyways, I should go. I’ll call you later
with more details. And Jules?”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t worry. We’ve got this.”
“Thanks, Tae.”
Tae’s phone rang again before he could even get down the street to the corner. Honestly, he just wanted to turn on some music and zone out. Tempting, but it could be someone needing his help with something.
“Hello?”
“Tae Kim?”
“Yes, this is.”
“Hi, Tae. It’s Rianne Kennedy, the HR manager at Sterling Co.”
Tae’s heart dropped. He hadn’t been in touch with his office in weeks, though he knew his paid and unpaid leave times were
drawing to a close. He’d run out of days to be away from work, and a part of him hoped that if he didn’t respond, they’d just
consider him terminated and he wouldn’t have to make the decision himself and have the awkward conversation.
No such luck.
“Oh, hey there, Rianne. How can I help you?”
“I’m not sure if you’ve seen the emails we’ve been sending. But as of last Friday, you’ve exhausted your leave time. Will
we be expecting you back to work? No one has heard from you . . .”
This was it. It was Tae’s chance to quit. It was his chance to cut the ties from the miserable job and unfulfilling life in
Chicago and make the decision to not go back. Was he ready?
“Rianne, my father is still not completely well enough for me to leave at this time. I know I’ve used up all my options. But
is there any possibility . . .” Quit, Tae. Right now. Just say it. Make the move and never go back. Let the chips fall where they may. Figure your shit out
on your own and . . .
“Hello? Tae? Any possibility for what? Can you hear me? . . . Can you hear me now? . . . Hello? Did I lose you?”
“Oh, sorry, no, I’m here, Rianne. Um, I was going to ask if I can have another few weeks of unpaid leave time to figure everything
out here before I return.” Coward.
“Tae, we can give you two more weeks, tops. But only because your manager was very explicit in letting us know that he enjoys you on his team. Then we’ll need to know what day we can expect you back at work. Good luck with everything.”
He’d bought himself two more weeks. Two more weeks of keeping his options open. Two more weeks of misery and dread, trying
to figure out what to do with his life.
Tae wasn’t listening to the rest of what she was saying. He’d review it when she sent it to him in email. For now, he was
anxious to hang up, turn on some music, roll down his windows, and enjoy his drive home.
“Don’t do anything you’re gonna regret later, little brother.”
All Tae wanted was to have a beer and watch the Angels game on TV. But with the traffic being bad, he decided to make a pit
stop in Huntington Beach at his brother’s house on his way home to do both there. What he didn’t want, what he didn’t need,
was a lecture.
Tae didn’t expect Min to understand. He didn’t even expect him to support whatever decisions he made. He loved his brother,
but they wanted different things out of life. They were just . . . different. What he hoped was that he could have a beer
in peace, though. Tae took a pull from the bottle and let the hoppy amber liquid make its way down his throat.
“That actually makes me think about quitting even more now. Because staying in Chicago feels like something I’d regret.”
“You’re being immature and irresponsible. You can’t just quit your job. Quit once and you’re starting all over at the bottom
rung of the corporate ladder. Cutting all ties to your previous life, your job, your apartment is a fool’s move. And why?
Because you’re unhappy? Happiness is overrated. And even so, there are no guarantees that it’ll suddenly be all sunshine and
rainbows if you move back here permanently.”
“We’re in Southern California, Min. It’s as close to a guarantee of sunshine as we’ll ever get.”
Min rolled his eyes at Tae. “Well, I’m proud of you, little brother. I mean, you’re screwed now that you’re jobless and live with our parents in our childhood home. But as long as you’re happy . . .” He said the word happy as if it sat bitter on his tongue.
“Asshole,” Tae said to his brother. He grabbed another one of Min’s overpriced craft beers from the fridge and sat down on
the couch for another slice of pizza.
Min whacked at Tae’s feet, pushing them off the coffee table, and put a coaster down in front of him. Neat freak.
“What are you gonna do about your girlfriend? What was her name, Kelly? Is she moving out here to shack up with you in the
basement?”
“Her name is Kari, and I told you already. We broke up months ago. Maybe listen when I actually share something with you.”
“Jesus, Tae. You’re really just gonna throw your whole life away.”
“What can I do, Min? She doesn’t understand why I had to come home to take care of Dad. It’s not like I can have any kind
of future with someone who doesn’t put family first. And besides, we weren’t ever that serious.”
“Is that what she’d say if I asked her the same question?” Min asked. “Honestly, Tae. I know you were miserable, so I get
why you thought dropping everything might be a good idea . . . if you’re drunk. But what are you going to do now? Are you
just gonna live off being the Korean handyman of Southern California? And what about Mom and Dad’s bills?”
“You’re the moneybags. How about you chip in a little more?”
“Like that’s fair? You’re being like the people who just live off welfare and food stamps and don’t even look for work.”
“Please don’t spew your conservative bullshit at me. I hate that. I hate when you play the privileged asshole and look down on people. We’re not even one generation removed from immigrant parents who scraped by to make a living.”
“Says the liberal asshole who has no job. Mom and Dad were always too easy on you because you’re cute. It’s like they turned
off being typical Korean parents expecting the world of their children when it came to you. You could never and can never
do any wrong in their eyes.”
“When did you turn so bitter? I’m home taking care of them and the medical shit. We agreed I’d do that since you couldn’t.”
More like wouldn’t. “They know that it came at a sacrifice for me, and I appreciate that they’re not pressuring me. Not like before . . .” Tae
stopped himself.
“Oh no, you don’t get to go blaming me because you’re miserable in Chicago. I only helped get you that job because Dad asked
me to. He was worried about you, your future. And look at you now.”
“If I had never taken that job, if I had never moved to Chicago—”
“Then, what? You’d have taken over Dad’s landscaping business? Does Kim and Son have the ring to it you’re looking for?” Min asked, judgment dripping from his voice.
“Jesus, you’re a snob. That landscaping business paid for your schooling, jackass.” Tae shook his head. He was tired of this
argument. “Look, I’m not blaming you for my life in Chicago. It’s just . . . I lost myself a little while I was out there.
So now I’m just trying to figure out who I am and what I want to do.” Shit, he really shouldn’t be telling his brother this.
He needed support, not a lecture reminding him what a failure he was.
“Fine, but I wouldn’t take too long trying to figure it out, little brother. You lose value when your résumé has gaps in it,
especially when you can’t use caregiver as an excuse. And do you ever plan on getting married? Having kids of your own?”
“I’m twenty-five. It’s not like my life is over.
” Tae thought about the pressures Julia was feeling.
Was it only a Korean thing? Or did all people of a certain age worry about success and disappointment?
“Anyways, can we change the subject, please? I mean the conversation is so pleasant and all, and I really can’t wait to do it again sometime.
When are you coming home to visit? It’s been weeks, and you know Mom gets extra naggy at me when she doesn’t have you to spread it around.
Plus, Dad’s looking a lot better now, so you don’t have to avoid him. ”
“I wasn’t avoiding him, jackass. Look, it’s crazy busy at work right now. And since they have their beloved Tae at home to
keep them happy, they don’t need me to visit as often,” Min said.
“That’s bullshit. It’s not one or the other for Mom and Dad. And it’s not a competition. Hyung, stop acting like a baby and
show up for the family.”
“Mom and Dad only need and want you in times of crisis. That’s been proven time and again. Why do I need to show up any more than I do? You’re already there.”
“First, you barely show up at all. Second, they call on me because you’re the ambitious, driven one making something of his
life. I’m the willing-to-drop-everything one in the family. Because I never really had anything to lose.”
“Whatever.” Min took the beer out of Tae’s hand.
“Hey!”
“Go get another one. These are my beers, and I don’t want to get up.”
Fucking big brothers. Tae stood to get another beer in the kitchen.
“You’ll never believe what Mom said to me today,” Min shouted from the living room.
“Oh God, do I wanna even know?”
“She wants to set me up on a date with Julia Song.” Tae slammed the fridge door harder than he’d planned, heat rising up his spine at the reminder.
“She totally wants to disregard that I’m in love with Andrea and we’re getting married.
She thinks Julia, the Korean princess, is a better option.
Don’t get me wrong. Julia is gorgeous and successful. But she’s
so awkward. And honestly, if she was so great, why is she still single at her age?”
“She’s only thirty. That’s nothing.” Tae turned a dining chair around and straddled it facing the TV. “And she’s not awkward.
She’s been busy building a successful business. It’s asinine that people want to blame a woman for being single when she’s
successful. Maybe the dudes she dated were douchebags.”
“I don’t know, word on the street with the guys I know is that she is brutal. She makes men cry, she’s so honest and scary.
She’s hot, but not worth putting up with.”
“Shut the fuck up.” Tae had to restrain himself from standing up, ready to fight his asshole brother if he needed to. “Sounds
like your friends are a bunch of wimps if they can’t handle some honesty from a woman.”
Min chuckled, shaking his head. “I see you still have a crush on our neighbor. Why aren’t you the one Mom’s trying to set
up with Julia? Oh yeah, because you’re cute but unemployed.”
“Fuck you.”
The words were the truth. He’d said them to himself before. But hearing someone else say it out loud stung a bit more. He
knew he had no chance with Julia. Plus, with Tae having his own baggage of caring for his family, marriage was the last thing
he wanted or needed right now.
All that said, it hurt a man’s ego to not even be in consideration. Like he needed any more reminders that he hadn’t made
anything of his life.
“Just do me a favor and help me get this stupid idea out of Mom’s head? She only listens to you. It’s never gonna happen.
But if Andrea gets wind of Mom even suggesting it, it’ll hurt her.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll talk to Mom . . . again. Hey, do you know if that Korean restaurant on Jamboree is still open, the one with the kick-ass banchan?”
“Seoul House? Yeah, I just went there last week.”
Tae picked up his phone and sent Julia a quick message with the name of the restaurant for their practice date. Julia immediately
wrote back with a thumbs-up. Tae smiled down at the message.
“Do I even want to know what that smile is about?” Min asked.
“Nothing,” Tae said, pocketing his phone. “I’m just helping Julia out with something.”
“And why am I not surprised? Whatever it is, it was probably your suggestion too. I’d be careful following around the Ice
Princess, if I was you. Nothing good can come out of you spending time with her. She’s in a league you have no business playing
in.”
Min had no idea what he was talking about. Tae had no intention of getting hurt. He only wanted to help a friend and have
a little fun in the process.
Plus, he’d promised both Julia and her halmoni. Tae was a man of his word and always completed the job.