Chapter 17 Competency Porn
Competency Porn
Julia
“What am I going to do?” Julia whined.
“About what? The fact that your company is growing faster than you planned and you can’t keep up with the demand? Or about
the fact that your parents have managed to find you worse men than you’ve found for yourself? Or might it be the fact that
you maybe confessed your true feelings to Tae—”
“Oh God.” Julia pulled her knees up to her chin and tried to make herself as small as possible. Could she just hide here on
Rachel’s couch for the rest of time? Unlikely. Rachel’s personal space was precious to her, and she’d likely kick Julia to
the curb before the end of the night. “But maybe I didn’t? That’s the problem. I don’t remember. And I’m never drinking again.”
“Uh-huh.”
Uh-huhs were Julia’s single biggest pet peeve.
Julia reached for another piece of pizza, flicking off the olives and green peppers, and took a bite. “I started looking at
property in Twentynine Palms.”
“Where the aliens are?” Rachel asked.
“That’s Area 51,” Julia corrected.
Rachel shrugged, grabbing her own slice of pizza, picking up the olives Julia had discarded and piling them on top. “Same difference?”
“Not even close. Twentynine Palms is in the desert near Joshua Tree. You can get houses with acres and acres of land, and
there won’t be another human for as far as the eye can see. Self-banishment. I figure I can put my foot down, insist that
I’m off the market, and have Undateable tattooed to my forehand. I can’t be blamed, since there’s no one nearby to even date.”
“Sometimes, I wonder how it is that you own your own business,” Rachel said.
“I’m sorry I’m late. Our general contractor got everything wrong, again, and now I really am thinking James and I bought a
money pit. What did I miss?” Sonia asked, rushing in the door and plopping down on the couch. She looked at the pizza and
took two similar-sized slices and put them facedown on top of each other to make a double-decker.
“Julia’s moving to be with the aliens.”
“Twentynine Palms?” Sonia asked.
“That’s Area 51,” Julia corrected, yet again. Didn’t any of her friends know geography? “Twentynine Palms is not . . . oh,
forget it. I don’t care. You guys don’t have to take me seriously. You won’t be around in my desert bubble anyways. I’ll be
blissfully alone.”
“Someone’s a little hangry. Julia, honey, have another slice of pizza. I’ll pick off the olives and peppers for you,” Sonia
suggested.
“She also dated Mr. Trot,” Rachel said.
“That slick sequins guy on TV? He’s cute. My mom loves him. But the music . . .” Sonia shuddered while vigorously shaking
her head.
“He asked her to ramen and chill in his hotel room,” Rachel continued.
“What a sleazeball,” Sonia responded.
“Oh, and she drunkenly told Tae she wished he’d be her next setup,” Rachel added.
“Wait, you couldn’t lead with this headline?” Sonia spun her head around to look at Julia, wild-eyed. “Wow, you’ve been busy.”
“You,” Julia said, pointing at Rachel, “shush. And you,” she said and turned to point at Sonia, “listen carefully. I’m moving
to the desert to get away from this cruel world. Setup number two was with Mr. Trot, and I’m still not over the migraine.
And lastly, I may not have told Tae anything. Problem is, I don’t quite remember.”
Sonia stared at Julia, processing.
Julia waited.
“Uh-huh.”
Julia dropped her head in her hands. A pair of arms wrapped around her while an errant foot kicked her shin.
“Julia, why are you making things so hard on yourself?” Sonia asked, squeezing her tight.
“Just man up and get it on with Tae. What are you waiting for?” Rachel chastised her, a perfectly pedicured foot kicking her
once more.
“Ow! I bruise easily,” Julia whined.
“Good, then you’ll remember this message longer,” Rachel said.
“I’m not saying Tae isn’t a great guy. He’s the salt of the earth. But he just got out of a relationship. And we’re just now getting to know each other again. I would never risk our friendship by throwing
it into the garbage disposal that is my dating life. And, well, honestly, I don’t know that I could be enough for him. He
needs someone who—”
“He needs someone who will support him as he carries the weight of the world on his shoulders. Not someone like his ex-girlfriend who complained and demanded more from him,” Rachel said. “From what you’ve told us, she’s a real bitch.”
“That’s not fair. Maybe I was a little one-sided in my assessment of her. She just wasn’t right for Tae is all. And, by the
way, neither am I,” Julia said.
“Tae needs someone who sees him as Superman,” Sonia said.
“But someone who doesn’t need Superman to save her too,” Rachel added. Sonia reached over, and Rachel met her hand in a high
five.
“I repeat,” Julia said and looked at Rachel and then at Sonia, “he just got out of a relationship. I have no intention of
being his rebound.”
“It’s been months since they broke up. And you would not be his rebound. You’d be his dream come true. You’ve been the one
he’s wanted since he was a kid, just waiting for you to notice him now that he’s a man.” Sonia sighed. She mistook Julia for
the heroine in one of her romance novels.
“Shit, why are you even going through these setups looking for your forever love when he’s standing right in front of you . . .
prepping you to fall for someone else?” Rachel furrowed her brow. “Wait, this is some messed-up love story.”
Julia shook her head. “This is not how real life works. Just because we were friends growing up and have reconnected as adults
doesn’t mean we were some kind of meant-to-be.”
Two sets of eyes bored into her soul.
“Plus he’s going through his own identity crisis of what he wants with his life. He’s not even sure if he’s staying in California.
And I, well, we all know what a mess I am. My grandmother’s health is in question. Work has got me running in circles.” Julia
stopped and took a breath. She closed her eyes before admitting the rest. “And I like him. I’m not willing to risk hurting
him because I’m bad at dating and in a moment of wine-fueled weakness told him I wanted more.”
“Well, at least you’ve thought it through,” Sonia said. “But I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself. And I think you need to give Tae some more credit.”
“You’re both adults. And from what I can see, neither of you has a crystal ball to predict the future. You can’t run scared
you’re gonna mess up any time there’s something that you’re not certain will succeed. You can’t let your fear of failure paralyze
you from trying.”
Julia thought of the global expansion for Starlight. She wondered if it was something the team could handle on their own.
Getting investors would be easier, but would it be the right choice? Could she take the risk?
And taking a risk was exactly what she’d be doing if she let herself feel anything for Tae. She’d rather move to the desert
and live alone in solitude than hurt that man.
“You have a permafrown any time you talk about these setups,” Rachel said. “Which is the complete opposite of when you talk
about the time you spend with Tae.”
“Be honest with yourself. Are you interested in him?” Sonia asked.
“I don’t know,” Julia answered.
“Well, that’s progress. At least you’re not trying to fool yourself that he’s like a little brother anymore,” Sonia said.
“Julia, I think you should talk to him. Find out how he’s feeling. And if you’re both feeling the chemistry, which I have
a good feeling you are, then maybe give it a shot.”
“Let’s not forget the man lives in Chicago. I can’t do long distance. There’s no way,” Julia said.
“I don’t know, seems to me he’s made himself real comfortable living in Irvine. I can’t see him going back, to be honest,”
Sonia noted.
Rachel walked into the kitchen and pulled out three popsicles from the freezer. She came back and passed them out.
“I like what’s happening between us right now. Honestly, I don’t want to lose that. And he’s got a lot going on in his life at the moment. So do I,” Julia said.
“What’s happening between you two is called attraction, feelings. Face it, you two are basically dating as it is,” Rachel
said.
“Julia, you need someone who will listen to you. Not like Michael Lee from Fullerton,” Sonia started.
“Yeah, and you need someone who is okay with you being the star, the success story. Not like Mr. Trot,” Rachel added.
“That all sounds nice. It sounds wonderful . . .” Julia said
“It sounds like Tae,” Sonia said.
Julia shook her head. “It sounds impossible.” She reached into her purse for an antacid. “Anyways, I’m not gonna do anything
about this right now. I’ve still got setup number three. I promised my family that much. So let’s just pile on the pressure
for this third and final date and put all thoughts of Tae out of the picture for now.” Julia swallowed the pill and picked
up her phone to scroll through Instagram. She couldn’t stomach the looks on the faces of her two best friends. Sincerity,
concern, pity. “It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m just stressed because I have that meeting with Hansuk Holdings coming up, and I think
they’re gonna offer funding for Starlight.”
“That’s amazing, Julia! Will that mean you’ll be distributed and marketed internationally? Like, in Korea too? I know that’s
a dream of yours,” Sonia said.
“Yeah. Possibly. But . . . what if we put it out there and it fails?”
“Then, you figure out what’s not working, and you fix it. Like you always do.”
Julia nodded. Rachel was right. She hadn’t gotten this far by relying on easy wins, but rather with a lot of hard work and
pivots when necessary. She could do this.
“Can you be my contractor and renovate my house?” Sonia asked. “I need someone who will figure out what’s not working and
just fix it.”
“I can’t, but, uh, I know someone who can,” Julia answered.
“Oh my God, yes, please refer me to someone good. I want to fire my contractor so badly,” Sonia begged.