Chapter 26 Confession. Rejection.
Confession. Rejection.
Julia
He was avoiding her.
Julia was sure of it.
It had been three days since the car accident. Julia tried to text and call Tae to check in, but got only a couple one-word
answers back. She didn’t want to bother him. He was clearly busy with other things. But she couldn’t help but think that he
was purposely not talking to her.
“It’s my fault,” he’d said. The date. Not being home for his parents. Julia knew that it was an impossible burden for Tae
to take on. But she didn’t trust that Tae could see that too.
She would never ask him to choose time with her over time with his parents. She wasn’t that selfish or cruel. She wasn’t the
villain Julia had made his ex, Kari, out to be in her head.
But she also knew that Tae couldn’t live his life hovering over his parents on the off chance that something could happen
to them. And put his life entirely on hold to do so.
She pulled the blankets back over her head and closed her eyes. She held her phone to her heart and willed it to ring.
Julia jumped back as the phone vibrated. She was a mess of arms and legs flailing with sheets, struggling to answer the call.
“Hello,” she said, out of breath. She needed to get back on her Peloton at some point, that was for sure.
“Open the door. We’re on our way up.” This wasn’t the call she was hoping for.
Not Tae. Rachel and Sonia.
She responded to a few of their texts. I’m okay. Don’t worry. But she didn’t have it in her to tell them the truth. I’m broken. I miss him so much it hurts.
“I’m not in the mood for company right now,” Julia said.
“No shit. You’re probably hiding under your covers, getting lost in your head, while your greasy bangs stick to your forehead,
a bag of Doritos on your nightstand,” Rachel responded.
“SunChips. I didn’t have any Doritos.”
“Open up. We’re here. Oh, wait forget it, I still have the code. You need to change that thing by the way. Like anyone who
knows your birthday can break into your place.”
“Yoo-hooo.” Sonia’s voice broke through conversation from the other side of her door. “Are you decent? We’re coming in . . .”
Julia pulled the covers back over her head as the bedroom door opened to who she assumed was the cavalry. The smell hit her
immediately. Something warm, something sweet, something delicious.
“You don’t play fair,” she said under the covers.
The smell drew closer.
She pulled back the blankets to find a bag of pastries dangling over her head.
“Fresh from the oven.”
“And coffee. The good stuff from Dunkin’.”
Nothing beat fresh pastries and hot Dunkin’ Donuts’ coffee. Her friends were cruel and playing dirty.
“I don’t want to talk. I just want to eat.”
“Fine,” Rachel said.
“Sure,” Sonia added.
Julia took a large bite of the buttery apple fritter.
“Have either of you, um, heard from him?” If she asked with her mouth full, maybe they wouldn’t understand her question.
Then she wouldn’t have to regret asking it.
She wasn’t sure if she was more afraid of them saying yes or saying no.
Surely Tae wouldn’t reach out to either of them before her.
“He, um, came by our place to take some measurements yesterday when I wasn’t there. James talked to him. His parents are home
from the hospital and he’s taking care of them.”
“Like he always does,” Rachel said.
“Saint.”
“Angel.”
“Someone get that man the Nobel Peace Prize,” Sonia said.
“And an Academy Award while we’re at it,” Rachel added.
“What does acting have anything to do with it?” Sonia asked.
“I don’t know. But he deserves all the excellence awards, wouldn’t you agree?” Rachel argued.
Julia listened as her friends lobbed compliments back and forth about Tae. He was a great guy, no question. But right now,
he felt so out of reach. “I just wish he’d call me back,” she said, sad even to her own ears.
“Dead to us,” Rachel said, changing course.
“Men suck,” Sonia added in solidarity.
“My mom told me his parents are doing pretty well. That’s good. I was just wondering how he was doing.” Julia meant it. It
was good news that his parents were home and recovering.
“Call him again? Ask him?” Sonia suggested.
Julia shook her head. She had held her phone in her hand so many times, typing out messages. Hovering over his name to call
him. But she chickened out each time. She didn’t know which was worse: the long waits between messages, or the short one-word
answers.
“I can’t. It’ll just make things harder on him. I don’t want to do that. He’s got enough going on.”
“Nope, I’m not buying it. What would CEO Julia do if, say, someone didn’t show up to work or didn’t get back to her? You’d demand an audience. You’d be persistent to the point of annoyance. You’d do anything to get a response,” Rachel said.
“I know what to do in matters of business. I just don’t know what to do with matters of the heart,” Julia admitted.
“That’s the issue, girl. You act like you have to be two different people to serve two different parts of your life. But you
just have to be you, be yourself. That’s the person that can succeed at work and at love.” Julia wanted to believe what Sonia
was saying, what they both were. But it always felt like there were two parts to her, one successful, the other not. Julia
didn’t know how to approach life this way.
“Julia, you two need to talk. You need to let him know that you’re there for him, even with everything going on with his family,”
Rachel said.
“He needs you,” Sonia added.
“He blames himself for his parents’ accident. And I think he kinda blames me too,” Julia admitted.
“That’s ridiculous. No way,” Rachel said.
“He was in shock. James even said he was still shaken when he saw him. He’ll calm down and start to think rationally again,”
Sonia said.
“You need to set him straight,” Rachel said, pointing at Julia. “Get on your white horse and go down there and rescue him
from himself.”
Julia rolled her eyes at Rachel.
“Rachel’s not wrong. He’s always taking care of everyone else. Maybe it’s time you go and take care of him.”
“And if he doesn’t want me to?” Julia asked.
“Don’t give him the chance to say no,” Rachel answered.
Julia let her friends’ words swim around in her mind. Could she just go and confront Tae, tell him she was there to help him, to be there for him, and just . . . not leave? Force him to give in and accept the help?
“But, girl, first you really need a shower. And use the extra deep conditioner,” Rachel said, face scrunched in disapproval.
Right. Okay.
Shower first. Then rescuing.
Less than a week ago, Julia had knocked on this same door and ended the night in Tae’s arms. Well, actually, they’d panic-rushed
to get their clothes back on before his parents came home, but still. Today she feared she might never see him again.
Don’t be so melodramatic, she chastised herself. Just see with your own eyes that he’s okay, and go from there.
She took a quick intake of breath as the door opened.
He looked tired, his normal expressive, dancing eyes looked flat, dark circles framing them from below.
He also looked beautiful, strength and care personified.
“Julia? What are you doing here?”
Not exactly the warm welcome she’d hoped for.
She thought about the time Kari had just shown up at his house unannounced. Was she making all the same mistakes? One thing
she knew that Tae hated was pressure. People putting pressure on him to make decisions or have answers he didn’t. But no,
she was here to check on Tae and his family. And if anyone had a problem with that, including Tae, then that was on them.
She straightened her posture. “I was in the neighborhood . . .”
He tilted his head, eyes narrowed. Yeah, playing it casual and lying weren’t going to work here.
“Actually, I drove down because I’ve been worried about you. I just wanted to see if you were okay. And I came to offer, I
don’t know, anything, I guess, to help.” There, she did it. She put it out there. She held her breath, waiting. Why was this
so hard? It hadn’t ever been difficult with Tae.
Tae’s lips were tight, and his nostrils flared.
He closed his eyes and took a breath, trying to steady himself.
When he opened them and looked at Julia, she didn’t recognize the person staring at her.
Julia wanted to step back and run. She swallowed.
“I know you think what you did was helping, Julia. But it wasn’t.
It wasn’t cool. I didn’t ask for your help.
I didn’t need it. I had it figured out.”
Julia’s mind raced trying to catch up to what Tae was saying, but she was drawing a blank. He couldn’t possibly be this mad
at her driving him to the hospital. Coming down here to talk to him? What was it? “Tae, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Tae raked his hands through his hair, leaving them on top of his head as his eyes looked anywhere but at Julia.
“I’m sorry,” Julia said. She wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for. But she’d clearly done something wrong. “I thought . . .
I guess I just thought that since you’re so busy looking after your parents, you might want someone to be here for you. And
I am—here for you. I care about you, Tae. You’re important to me. I . . .” She swallowed back the emotions. She swallowed
back the words that were too hard and too scary to say.
“Julia, don’t.”
She looked up at him, uncertain why he was being so cold, so angry. She’d never seen this side of Tae.
He closed his eyes, seemingly to try and gather himself. “I appreciate you coming all the way down here, but you didn’t need
to—”
“I wanted to,” she interrupted.
“But I don’t want you to,” he snapped back. He let out a frustrated growl, and it pained her to see whatever it was he was
going through, what her mere presence here was putting him through. She should just leave.
Leave, Julia, she screamed to herself.
“Look, I’m not trying to hurt you. I just can’t handle all of this right now. It’s just too much. You’re . . . too much,” Tae said.