CHAPTER SEVEN #2
“Both of my sisters are Christians,” Julian said.
Elijah angled a look at him. “You have sisters?”
“Yeah. It’s a long story. I also have a half-brother.”
“Do you get along with them?”
Julian considered his relationship with his siblings. Honestly, they’d been no better than the one he had with his dad.
“I’m not close to them,” Julian said. “Annie gets after me about my drinking, and we argue at times. Benji’s a lot younger than me. He’s still in high school.”
“I’m sure that they care about you,” Elijah said. “Your sisters are probably praying for you.”
Julian nodded, because each of them had told him that in the days leading up to his departure for the center. He’d even gotten a text from Cole, Annie’s boyfriend, letting him know he’d be praying for him.
He hadn’t known how to respond to that, so he’d just thanked the man.
“Have they ever talked to you about their faith?”
“Annie’s tried,” Julian said. “But I haven’t really been interested.”
“Do you mind if I talk about it?” Elijah asked. “It’s such an integral part of my life.”
“Despite your experience with your father, you still want to claim the same faith as him?”
“There is a genuine faith,” Elijah said, gazing down into his coffee. “But my father only wore his faith as a cloak, to be taken off as soon as he was behind closed doors.”
Though Duncan wasn’t necessarily the same in public as he was in private, the changes weren’t negative. He was stern and forceful when dealing with business matters, but when he was with the family, he was generally more laid-back.
Julian had often chafed at the restrictions Duncan wanted to implement for the family, especially regarding safety, but he’d known it was because he was worried about something horrible happening to them. Duncan had never gotten past the kidnapping of Annie and Angela.
Hearing about Elijah’s experience with his father made Julian a bit more grateful for what he had with Duncan.
“Is your wife a Christian?”
Julian actually had no idea, but given she was so close with Angela, it was possible. “I’m not sure. She’s best friends with one of my sisters, so it’s possible she is.”
Elijah gave him a curious look, the earlier sadness gone from his expression. “It really is complicated, isn’t it?”
“What?”
“Your marriage. You don’t seem to know her very well.”
Julian sighed. “I don’t. After a night of drinking, we made a decision that resulted in her getting pregnant.”
“And you got married because of that?”
Julian nodded. “My father told me that if I wanted to keep my position in the company, I had to marry her and go to rehab. So here I am.” He lifted his left hand and wiggled his fingers. “Married and getting sober.”
“Wow… that’s a lot.”
Julian nodded and reached for his coffee again, needing something to occupy his hands. The conversation had veered into territory that made him uncomfortable—not because of Elijah's openness, but because it forced him to confront how little he actually knew about the woman he'd married.
"What's her name?" Elijah asked, settling back in his chair.
"Kiara." It felt strange to name her as his wife. It was still an unfamiliar connection, despite everything that had happened between them. "She grew up on the same property where Angela—that's one of my sisters—was held after she was kidnapped."
Elijah's eyebrows rose. "That sounds like quite a story."
"It is." Julian found himself explaining more than he'd intended, telling Elijah about the kidnapping, about Kiara and Angela coming to live at the estate, about the late-night conversations in the library that had led to their current situation.
Julian was sure that Duncan wouldn’t have been pleased with him revealing all of that to someone, but something told him he could trust Elijah. He hadn’t come to rehab thinking he’d meet someone who could become a friend. And yet, it felt like Elijah was becoming just that.
After they’d talked for a few more minutes, Julian glanced at his watch. “I think I’m going to go to my room for a few minutes before the group session. I need to read the rest of my letter.”
The two of them left the dining room together and walked toward the section of the large building where the rooms were located. Their rooms were on the same side of the hallway, but a couple of doors apart.
“See you in a bit,” Elijah said as he continued down the hallway.
Julian let himself into his room, which looked more like a hotel room than the hospital room he’d expected.
It was decorated in shades of blue and gray with white trim.
There were heavy dark blue curtains framing a large window that gave him a view of the distant mountains, and the bedspread on the surprisingly comfortable bed matched the curtains.
They were all responsible for keeping their rooms tidy, and he’d had to get used to making his own bed. Their laundry was still done for them, which was good because he wasn’t sure he’d know how to do it.
Julian settled on the one comfortable chair in the room, a recliner, and turned Kiara's letter over in his hands. The cream-colored envelope felt heavy with possibility. What had she written? Was she angry? Indifferent? The uncertainty made his stomach clench.
He slid his thumb under the flap and carefully opened it, pulling out several sheets of matching stationery. Her handwriting was neater than his, with gentle curves that somehow suited her.
Dear Julian,
Thank you for your letter. I was surprised but happy to hear from you. I’ve been hoping things were going okay, so it was good to hear that after a rough start, you’re feeling better.
After I read your letter, I told your dad that you were doing alright. He was concerned, so I hope that was okay. I didn't share any of the details of what you wrote.
I'm doing better than I was. The morning sickness is still there, but the medication Doctor Misha prescribed helps… sometimes. I still get tired easily, but I've been trying to walk every day. The doctor says it's good for me, and I think she's right.
I'm starting to notice a small bump now. Nothing obvious when I'm dressed, but definitely there. I haven't had my first ultrasound yet, but it's scheduled for next week. I'm both excited and nervous to see our little bean for the first time.
Julian was struck by the words "our little bean.
" She saw the baby as something that connected them, not just as her child.
He tried to imagine what she might look like, with the first signs of pregnancy showing.
The image was fuzzy in his mind. He knew her face, of course, but he hadn't paid close attention to her figure before, and he had no memory of it from their time together.
I still don't know if it's a boy or a girl, but they might be able to tell me at the ultrasound. I'm not sure whether I want to find out or be surprised at the birth. What do you think?
Julian paused in his reading, surprised she'd asked for his opinion. What did he think? He hadn't considered whether he wanted to know the gender ahead of time.
It felt like such a normal question. The kind of thing expectant parents might discuss over dinner or while preparing the nursery. Not something spouses who were essentially strangers would debate via letters sent back and forth while one was in rehab.
Duncan has been checking on me daily, which is both sweet and a little overwhelming. Elizabeth has been wonderful too, giving me ginger tea and ginger candy to help with the nausea.
Angie’s been a constant support through all of this, just like she always has been. She's excited about being an aunt, though I can tell she worries about me even though she doesn’t need to. I’m doing fine.
I've been spending time at the construction site for the house. It's coming along quickly. Duncan insisted they work longer hours to finish sooner. I think he wants Angie and me to have our own space ASAP, which we appreciate.
I've been thinking a lot about what you wrote regarding feeling like a fraud in group therapy. I don't think you should feel that way. Just because your problems look different from others doesn't make them less real. You were hurting enough to need help, and that's what matters.
The words hit something in Julian's chest, a tightness he hadn't known was there. He appreciated her validating what he was going through without comparing it to people whose struggles might be more impactful than his.
Take care of yourself, Julian. I’d love to hear more from you if you have the time to write. Let me know what you think about finding out the baby’s gender.
As ever… Kiara
Something settled inside Julian as he folded the letter and slid it back into the envelope. He hadn’t expected to want to have a connection with Kiara, but receiving this letter from her made him feel hopeful for the future.
It would be important for them to have open lines of communication and the ability to deal with each other if they were going to positively parent this child.
He appreciated that Kiara was already asking his opinion about the baby, and it made him think things would go better for them as parents than he’d originally thought they might.