CHAPTER FOURTEEN #2
“I am happy,” Kiara said, hoping she wouldn’t push. “If the nausea would just disappear completely, I’d be thrilled.”
Angie laughed softly. “You can text me while I’m away. Let me know how you’re doing.”
Kiara shook her head. “Nope. That’s your special time with Jude. You need to focus just on him.”
“I want you to at least check in every two or three days. We don’t have to video chat. I just want to be reassured that you and the baby are doing okay.”
Kiara was grateful for her sister's thoughtfulness, but she was still determined not to intrude on their honeymoon. "Okay. I'll send a quick text every couple of days. Just so you don't worry."
"Thank you." Angie squeezed her arm. "I know you've got Julian here now, but…"
"But he's not you," Kiara finished for her. The truth of those words settled heavily in her chest. Julian might be her husband on paper, might be the father of her baby, but he wasn't her person the way Angie had always been.
And she had always been Angie’s person. That had changed a bit already, but after today, Jude would fully take on that role in her sister’s life. It was hard not to feel like she was losing a huge part of her identity. Of her usefulness.
A knock on the door interrupted them, then Annie poked her head in. "It's almost time. Are you ready?"
Angie straightened, a radiant smile transforming her face. "More than ready."
Kiara felt a flutter of emotion as she watched her sister's happiness. This was what love looked like. This was what Kiara had always hoped for her sister—to be cherished by someone worthy of her gentle heart.
"You're going to make me cry," Kiara said, blinking rapidly to hold back tears. "And then my makeup will be ruined."
Angie laughed softly. "Can't have that." She took a deep breath. "Let's go. I can't wait to be Mrs. Jude Kessler."
They followed Annie to the entrance of the tent. Duncan was already waiting there, looking handsome in his dark suit, his expression a mixture of pride and wistfulness.
"You look beautiful," he said to Angie, his voice gruff with emotion.
"Thank you," Angie replied, taking his arm.
The music shifted, signaling Kiara's cue to enter. She squared her shoulders, forced her lips into a smile and made her way down the aisle.
The tent had been transformed into something magical. White fabric draped the interior, and flowers created arcs and arrangements that made the space feel like an elegant garden. Warm light filtered through the white canvas, casting everything in a soft, romantic glow.
Kiara walked slowly, aware of the guests turning to watch her progress.
Elizabeth sat in the front row with Benji beside her, both of them beaming. Annie had taken her seat as well, and Julian sat next to her with Elijah on his other side.
He looked handsome in his dark gray suit, his hair styled but not overly formal like it used to be. Their eyes met briefly, and he gave her a quick wink and a smile. Kiara’s stomach flipped, and she had to keep herself from staring at him.
With some difficulty, she looked away from Julian to Jude, who stood at the altar with the pastor and Cooper.
Jude had his hands clasped in front of him, and his gaze was on the back of the tent.
He had a small smile on his face, which told Kiara just how happy he was, since smiles weren’t something that seemed to come easily to the man.
In fact, Angie was the only one who seemed to be worthy of his most genuine and affectionate ones.
Jude’s mom, her husband, and their kids had come for the wedding, and it had been kind of funny to watch her try to fuss over Jude, who was really not having it.
Once she reached the front, Kiara took her place and turned to watch as Angie waited for her turn to come down the aisle.
As the string quartet that Elizabeth had hired began to play the song Angie had chosen to walk to, Kiara focused on her sister.
Angie’s attention was completely on Jude, and the slow pace Annie had told her would work well with the music she’d picked out, was nowhere to be seen.
It almost looked like Angie was pulling Duncan down the aisle.
Kiara couldn’t help but smile at the conflict between Angie’s eagerness to get to Jude and Duncan’s reluctance to give away the daughter he’d so recently found.
When Angie reached Jude, she handed Kiara her bouquet so she could take Jude’s hands. As the pastor spoke, Kiara turned toward the couple but let her gaze go distant. She knew she couldn’t let herself listen too much to the vows Jude and Angie shared because she didn’t want to cry.
Thankfully, the ceremony didn’t take too long, and soon the pastor was pronouncing them husband and wife. Jude had a smile that matched Angie’s as he took her in his arms for their first kiss as a married couple.
As people clapped, Angie turned to Kiara to take her bouquet back.
She gave Kiara a hug, then she and Jude walked back up the aisle.
Everyone followed them out of the tent and moved to the area of the garden where a small selection of bar-height tables had been set up along with a table of hor d’oeuvres.
While they were sampling the hor d’oeuvres, the catering crew went to work setting up the tent for the dinner that was to follow.
When it was time to return to the tent, they found that all the chairs had been moved to circle large round tables.
The tables, covered with crisp white tablecloths, had lovely spring floral centerpieces arranged around white pillar candles.
The food was amazing, and Kiara was glad that her stomach cooperated and allowed her to enjoy it.
Part of her responsibilities as matron of honor was to give a speech.
It was something she’d struggled to prepare because she hadn’t wanted to share too much about their past. Instead, she’d focused on what Angie meant to her, which had inevitably brought her emotions to the surface, but she’d managed to get through it.
But by the time all the festivities were done, Kiara was exhausted.
Saying goodbye to Angie, knowing she wouldn’t see her for two weeks, had been a challenge to accomplish without crying again.
However, she’d been determined to send her off with a smile so that Angie wasn’t distracted by worrying about her.
When she finally reached her room, Kiara was relieved to get out of her dress, remove her makeup, and take the pins out of her hair and let it down.
She worked her fingers against her scalp, then changed into the loose shorts and T-shirt she usually slept in.
The shorts were stretchy enough she could pull them over her growing stomach.
Finally comfortable, she sat down on her bed. Her feet were sore from spending most of the day in a pair of uncomfortable shoes. With no one to rub her feet, she spent some time rubbing them for herself.
She frowned when she heard a soft knock on her door. Sliding off the bed, she slowly made her way to the door, then cracked it open, not really wanting anyone to see her in her pajamas.
“Hey,” Annie said with a smile. “Just wanted to check and see how you were doing after everything today.”
“I’m tired,” Kiara admitted as she opened the door more fully. “And my feet are a little sore, but other than that, I’m fine.”
“Did you need anything?” she asked.
Kiara tilted her head to lean it against the edge of the door. “Nope. I’m good. My water bottle is full, and I have a little stash of my favorite granola bars if I get hungry.”
Annie smiled. “I told Julian you were probably fine, but he wanted me to make sure.”
Kiara wasn’t sure what to make of that revelation. “Yep. I’m fine.”
“Good. And if you need anything while Angie’s gone, just let me know.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“I can’t believe that I’ve been the one dating the longest, and yet, Julian and Angie have both gotten married before me.”
“Are you hoping Cole proposes soon?”
“Definitely,” Annie said. “If he’d been here for this, I would have made sure Angie and Jude did a bouquet and garter toss. Given we would have been the only single adults present, the odds of us catching them would have been pretty good.”
Kiara wondered how long it would be before she’d have to attend another wedding.
“Anyway, I’m going to head home,” Annie said. “I’m whipped too.”
“Thanks for checking on me.”
“You’re welcome.” Annie gave her a quick wave, then headed down the hallway toward the stairs.
Kiara shut the door behind her and went back to her bed, still uncertain what to make of the fact that Julian had sent Annie to check on her.
It would be easy to read more into it than had likely been his intent.
However, she could only assume he wanted to make sure the day hadn’t been too physically taxing for her, since she was pregnant with his son.
It hadn’t been, but as she sat back down on her bed, Kiara wondered if she could go to a massage therapist and just have them rub her feet and legs.
She rubbed her feet a bit more, then washed her hands before crawling into bed. The room was lit only by the lamp on her nightstand, giving it a cozy feel, which she loved. It helped to settle her a bit more.
However, as she let her thoughts wander back over the day, she had to deal with the deep sadness that settled into her soul.
A tear slipped down her cheek before she could stop it. She'd managed to hold it together through the entire day, but now, alone in her room, the emotions she'd been tamping down surged forward.
Kiara wiped at her face, annoyed with herself. She should be happy, not crying in her bed like a child.
But the contrast between Angie's beautiful wedding and her own hasty ceremony was just too stark to ignore.
And the way Jude looked at Angie… and the way he protected her…
took care of her. It was clear that she was the most important person in the world to him.
It was how Kiara had always dreamed the man she married would feel about her.
She’d had to be strong for so long. She’d taken care of Angie, protecting her when she could from Jim and Craig’s abuse. It had meant that she’d had to shoulder that abuse on her own. But it had been okay because she loved Angie.
She’d always hoped that one day there would be a man out there who would cherish and protect her. Who would look at her and see her as worth loving.
But she felt like she’d thrown away that chance by giving in when she shouldn’t have. Now she was married to a man who viewed her simply as the mother of his child and possibly a friend.
"Stop it," she whispered to herself. "This isn't helping anything."
She reached for her tablet on the nightstand, hoping to distract herself with a book. But as she touched the screen and it came to life, the picture she’d chosen for her lock screen appeared. It was of her and Angie, both smiling broadly at the camera.
The picture was a good reminder that no matter who came into their lives, they would always be sisters. She hadn’t lost her sister with her marriage to Jude, she had gained a brother-in-law who hardly smiled.
Kiara chuckled at the thought, glad for the break from her heavier emotions.
She had to focus on the positive things in her life.
The baby growing within her. The safety and security she now had that she could also offer her son, sparing him the uncertainty and challenges that she’d faced as a child.
And soon, she’d have a home of her own. A beautiful home that she would make sure was filled with love for her little one.
Now, if her pregnancy hormones would just chill out and not drag her down into emotional outbursts that she’d rarely, if ever, had before getting pregnant, things would be fine.