CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Kiara woke with a start, the urge to use the bathroom coming on suddenly, as it often did. She straightened her legs, then froze when she heard someone groan.
Struggling to sit up, she looked over and saw that she’d kicked Julian. He blinked blearily at her.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to kick you.”
His hand landed on her foot. “It’s okay. No harm done.”
"I need to use the bathroom," she whispered.
Kiara wasn’t sure why she felt the need to speak so softly, since it was just the two of them in the house. She carefully extracted her foot from his gentle grasp.
The fire had died down to embers, casting just enough light for her to see Julian's rumpled hair and creased face. He looked younger somehow, softer around the edges without his usual guardedness.
Kiara pushed the blanket aside and maneuvered herself off the couch, one hand automatically going to support her lower back. The baby shifted, pressing against her bladder with renewed urgency.
When she returned a few minutes later, Julian was on his feet, running his hands through his hair. He'd folded the blanket and placed it on the arm of the couch.
"What time is it?" Kiara asked, glancing toward the windows where darkness still pressed against the glass.
Julian checked his watch. "Just after three."
“I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you,” she said, attempting to calm her own wayward curls that had escaped her ponytail while she’d slept.
“Well, as you can see, I also couldn’t resist the lure of sleep.” He stretched his arms above his head, arching his back a bit. “But I think I need to spend the remainder of the night in an actual bed. I’m too old to be sleeping on the couch.”
Kiara rubbed her lower back. “And I’m too pregnant.”
Julian walked over to the fireplace and stirred the embers with the poker. “Want me to turn off the lights?”
“Sure, thanks.” Kiara smoothed her hands over her belly. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Without looking back, she walked toward the door that led to her suite of rooms. She closed the door behind her, then continued into her bedroom.
As she swapped her clothes for the oversize T-shirt that she felt most comfortable sleeping in, she tried not to dwell on the evening with Julian. Or to put any importance on what had transpired.
Friendship…
That’s what she had set her mind on after everything that had happened at the gala.
She had accepted that, because they were married, she had to share space with him, and if she wanted peace in her home, they needed to get along. So friendship was the best way to achieve it.
To that end, she’d responded to his emails. She’d prepared dinner for them. She’d conversed with him, answering any questions he had.
But in all of that, she had kept at the forefront of her mind that no matter what her feelings might be, Julian wouldn’t feel the same way about her.
It had been relatively easy to stay focused on friendship until she’d fallen asleep and woken up to find that Julian had covered her with a blanket and stayed with her in front of the fire.
Now, her heart clamored for all kinds of foolish things that she knew she couldn’t have.
After brushing her teeth and going through her nighttime routine—even though it was three o’clock in the morning—she crawled into her bed and tugged the thick comforter up to her chin.
As she lay in the darkness, she prayed, as she so often did throughout each day, that God would give her strength and wisdom. That He would be with her and help her and Julian to be the best parents possible to their son.
What she didn’t pray for was that Julian would come to love her. That felt selfish. If God only answered one of her prayers, she wanted it to benefit her son, and that would be her and Julian being good parents.
The next morning, Kiara was slow to get out of bed.
She spent some time scanning through social media.
She wasn’t very active on her accounts, but she loved looking through other people’s posts.
Especially now that the majority of her timeline was pregnancy and baby focused.
She’d purchased more baby things at the promptings of posts on social media than she probably should have, but some of the stuff was just so cute.
When hunger began to make her feel a bit queasy, Kiara slid out of bed. She flipped the comforter back into place, then began to prepare for the day.
The only thing on her schedule that day was dinner at the main house. It had been awhile since they’d all been together for a meal, so she was actually looking forward to it.
The house was quiet as she came out of her suite, but the aroma of coffee was in the air, so she assumed that Julian was already up.
In the kitchen, she walked to the sink and stared out at the backyard, checking on the weather like she did every morning.
It looked like it was another cloudy and rainy day. A day that spoke of the transition that was to come as they moved through fall into winter. Their second winter in Idaho.
Turning away, Kiara began to prepare her breakfast. She heated a pan, then put a couple of slices of bacon in it. While they cooked, she mashed up some avocado and seasoned it. After the bacon had cooked for a bit, she moved it to the side of the pan and added an egg, scrambling it with a fork.
Once everything was almost done, she cut a couple of pieces of the sourdough bread and stuck them in the toaster. She stared at the small appliance, remembering her horror at how much it had cost. For that price, it should have done more than just toast the bread.
When the toast was done, she carefully arranged everything on the plate. She’d just made herself a cup of tea when the front door opened.
Kiara looked up to see Julian walk in, dressed as if he’d been working out. He wore a pair of sweats and a zippered hoodie that was open over a T-shirt. His hair was disheveled.
“Good morning,” she said.
He gave her a quick smile as he walked toward the kitchen. “Sleep well?”
“Not too bad,” she said. “How about you?”
“My body clock is still dealing with jetlag, so I didn’t sleep much after we woke up.”
“You’re going to be tired,” she said. “Do you want some breakfast?”
“What are you having?” he asked as he sat down at the counter.
“I made some avocado toast,” she said, gesturing to her plate. “Do you want some?”
“I don’t want to inconvenience you.”
“It’s no problem. You can have one of those, and I’ll make a couple more pieces.”
She transferred one of the pieces of toast to another plate, then put more bacon in the pan. For as much as she’d hated making food for Jim and Craig, she didn’t mind doing it for Julian.
Julian didn’t start to eat until she had prepared the second batch and sat down beside him.
"Thank you," Julian said, taking a bite of the toast. "This is really good."
Kiara smiled at the compliment, though she tried not to read too much into it. Friends complimented each other's cooking. It didn't mean anything more.
"So what were you up to this morning?" she asked, noticing how his workout clothes clung to him slightly, as if he’d been sweating or had gotten caught in some rain.
"I went for a run. The estate has some nice trails, and I figured I'd better try to get a run in before it started to rain."
"From the look of the sky, we won’t be getting too many breaks today, so I hope you enjoyed it."
Julian chuckled. "Not sure I enjoyed it, but I was glad it didn’t start to sprinkle until I was nearly home."
Home. Was that just a slip of the tongue? Or did he really think of the house as home?
Kiara couldn’t deny that she hoped it was the latter. Because if he thought of it as home, he might be more inclined to spend time there with their son.
They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes. The baby shifted, and Kiara adjusted her position on the stool, trying to get comfortable.
"Are you okay?" Julian asked.
"I'm fine," she said, adjusting herself again. "He's just really active this morning. I swear he's going to be a soccer player considering all the kicking he does."
Julian's expression softened as his gaze dropped to her belly. "May I?" he asked, his hand hovering uncertainly in the space between them.
Kiara's heart skipped a beat. Julian had touched her bump briefly in New York, but this felt different somehow. More intentional. "Of course."
She guided his hand to the spot where the baby was most active. For a moment, nothing happened, and she worried her son would choose this moment to settle down. Then came a firm kick right against Julian's palm.
Julian's eyes widened. "Wow. That was… strong."
"Tell me about it," Kiara said with a laugh. "Sometimes he wakes me up with his gymnastics routines."
Julian kept his hand there for a moment longer, his expression one of wonder. Another kick came, and he laughed softly, the sound warming something deep inside her.
"He's definitely strong," Julian said, slowly withdrawing his hand. "Must be all that good food you've been feeding him."
Kiara smiled, trying to ignore the lingering warmth where his hand had been. "I try to eat healthy, but sometimes all he wants is ice cream."
"I can't blame him for that," Julian said, returning to his breakfast. "Ice cream is a solid choice."
After they finished eating, Kiara cleared their plates while Julian made himself a cup of coffee. The domesticity of the moment felt both natural and dangerous. Natural because it flowed so easily between them, dangerous because it made her heart yearn for things she couldn't have.
"I should probably shower and change," Julian said. "But I was thinking—if you're up for it—maybe we could go for a drive around the estate later? You could show me your UTV skills."
"I'd like that," Kiara said, surprised by how much she meant it. "Jude says I should practice as much as possible."
"Great. I'll be back in a bit, then."