CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT #2
“Oh, my family knows that I don’t celebrate, and if I get even a hint that there’s going to be a party, I will definitely be a no-show.”
“So you’re the birthday Grinch.”
Julian chuckled. “I guess you could call me that.”
He was glad that they seemed to have moved past the earlier tension he’d caused by his reaction.
Looking back on it, he wasn’t happy with how easily his frustration had risen.
He realized that he didn’t like the uncertain position he’d ended up in with Kiara.
Coming off two weeks of another stressful situation, he’d just been too close to the edge.
It had brought to light the fact that it was possible that Kiara wasn’t feeling about him and their marriage the way he was.
He’d never thought he’d need to prove to someone that he could be trusted.
That he was worth loving. But if that was what it took to get Kiara to give their marriage…
to give them… a chance, he’d do whatever he had to.
Because he loved her and wanted her by his side forever.
It was a totally foreign concept to him. He’d never felt that way about anyone else, and he didn’t want to mess things up. So for now, he’d show his love for her by taking care of her and TJ as best he could.
“Okay. I’ve got this all filled out.” He got up with the papers and moved to the bed. “Do you want to look them over?”
“Sure. Want to hold TJ while I do that?”
“Uh… yes. Yes, I do. I just hope I don’t break him.”
“You won’t,” Kiara assured him.
Julian carefully took the baby, who was wrapped up like a little burrito. He sat down on the chair beside the bed while Kiara picked up the papers he’d set on her lap.
The baby’s eyes fluttered open, and he looked in Julian’s direction.
“Hey there, buddy,” Julian said softly. “How’re you doing? Are you being good to Mommy?”
Never in a million years had he envisioned a moment like this, holding his son as he sat near the woman who had managed to capture his heart.
They might have had a little blip, but they’d moved past it, and Julian hoped that when the results for the paternity test came back, they could put it all behind them.
~*~
Kiara moved the bassinet closer to the side of the bed she slept on. She was feeling emotional and anxious about the first night at home with the baby.
She’d finished feeding him, he had a clean diaper on and was wrapped up like the nurses had shown her. She, on the other hand, hadn’t even had a shower and still needed to brush her teeth and do her skin care.
But she was too tired to do all three, so she’d settled on what she considered the most important. Brushing her teeth.
Leaving her bathroom door open, she quickly brushed her teeth, then took an extra moment to wipe her face with a wet washcloth before putting on some moisturizer. But that was as good as it was going to get.
Back in the dimly lit bedroom, she sank down on the edge of the bed. As she watched TJ sleep, she wondered if she was going to hear him when he cried. She was so tired that she was afraid that being back in the comfort of her own bed would make her sleep too soundly.
A light knock on her open door drew her attention.
She looked over to see Julian standing there in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt.
Even dressed casually, he managed to look handsome and put together.
Meanwhile, she still looked nine months pregnant, her hair was frizzy, and she was wearing a T-shirt that might have baby drool on the shoulder.
“Can I come in?” he asked, waiting just outside the door until she nodded. “I want to propose something to you. You’re welcome to say no, and I won’t be upset, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to do everything with the baby.”
“There’s not much you can do at this point,” she said.
“I know, but I still want to help you.” He came to stand next to the bassinet and looked down at TJ with a smile. “I want to do my part.”
“So what are you proposing?” At this point, she’d consider pretty much anything if it helped her take care of TJ.
“Let me sleep in here with the two of you,” he said, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “Then when he wakes up, I can help you by getting him out of the bassinet and changing his diaper if necessary while you get ready to feed him.”
“You want to change his diaper?” Kiara could hardly believe what she was hearing.
“Want might be a strong word when it comes to changing diapers. However, it’s not when it comes to helping you. I want to help you.”
Kiara hadn’t imagined that he’d want to pitch in, especially with diaper changes.
“Well?” he prodded.
“You’re sure you want to sleep in here? I have a feeling it’s going to be a pretty fractured night.”
“That’s fine,” Julian said. “I told Duncan I was going to take the next week off. I’ll still do some work, but if I need to catch a nap during the day, I can.”
“Okay,” she said. “I’d appreciate the help.”
The designer had chosen a king-size bed for her room, so there was plenty of space for Julian on the far side of the bed. Still, it was weird to share a bed with someone who wasn’t Angie. They’d always shared a bed growing up.
But she and Julian were married, so if things had been different, they would have already been spending nights together.
“I have a nightlight on, so I hope that doesn’t bother you.”
“It won’t,” Julian assured her as he walked around to the other side of the bed.
She carefully maneuvered herself into the bed, then pulled the bassinet right up against the mattress. The meds she’d taken a short time earlier had kicked in, and the pain was more of a dull ache.
With a sigh, she laid down on her right side, facing the baby, then pulled the comforter up over herself. She felt the bed shift as Julian settled himself.
Reaching out, she snapped off the lamp that was on her side of the bed. The room didn’t plunge into darkness like it usually did because of the nightlight, which cast a soft light near the floor.
“Goodnight,” Julian said.
“Goodnight.”
Kiara hadn’t been sure she’d be able to fall asleep because of worrying about the baby, and then with Julian sharing the bed, but as soon as she closed her eyes, sleep claimed her.
It felt like just minutes had passed when the soft cries of the baby woke her. She glanced at the clock and saw that two hours had passed since she’d climbed into bed.
Julian stirred beside her, then flung the comforter off himself. He was a shadowy figure as he came around the bed to the bassinet.
Moving it out of the way, he held out his hand to her. Kiara was grateful for the help in getting to her feet. Julian then bent to lift TJ from the bassinet.
“Hey, buddy,” he said. “You’re okay.”
“Can you bring him here?” Kiara said, moving toward the change table that she’d set up in the room.
Julian carried him over, then laid him down on the change table pad. “Show me what to do so that next time I can do it myself.”
Over the next few minutes, Kiara showed Julian how to unwrap the little boy, then unfasten his sleeper.
“The nurse said to keep him covered as much as you can, or you might end up with him peeing all over you.”
Julian chuckled. “I’d rather that didn’t happen.”
She walked him through cleaning the baby, then putting the new diaper on him. Julian fastened the sleeper, not hesitating at all to do everything Kiara had shown him.
Through it all, TJ fussed, but Julian didn’t seem to be stressed by it.
“Do you need to use the bathroom or anything?” he asked.
“Yes, I’ll be right back.”
When she returned a couple of minutes later, Julian was standing with the baby in his arms, gently swaying. TJ had settled a little but was still fussing. Soft music played from the Bluetooth system, and Julian had turned on the gas fireplace that was opposite the large bed.
Kiara sat down in the rocker she’d chosen that had wide arms and was comfortable. It was the same as the one in the nursery. She’d gotten two of them, knowing she’d probably start off nursing in the bedroom since the baby wouldn’t be sleeping in the nursery right away.
Julian bent to put the baby in her arms, then stepped back. “Do you need anything? Water? Food?”
She glanced over and saw that she’d forgotten to bring her water bottle into the bedroom earlier. “I could use some water. I think my water bottle is in the kitchen.”
Julian left the room, and Kiara focused on getting the baby latched on.
As he settled into nursing, Kiara let out a sigh and rested her head back.
She had to admit it was nice to have Julian there helping her.
And the ambiance he’d set with the music and the fireplace was soothing, enabling her to relax as TJ nursed.
After Julian returned with her water bottle, he settled on the bed, his back against the headboard and his phone in hand.
Midway through the feed, she maneuvered TJ into a position to burp him. She gave a small cheer, and Julian chuckled when the baby let out a burp that seemed too big for his small body.
Despite being exhausted, Kiara felt a sense of contentment. With Julian there, it felt like they were truly a family. She didn’t feel like she was alone in dealing with their new baby. It was more than she could ever have hoped for.
Over the next two weeks, Julian proved that that first night wasn’t an anomaly. Each night at bedtime, he’d join Kiara in her bedroom, and he’d keep an eye on the baby while she prepared for bed. He’d stepped up and taken an active role in caring for TJ.
During the day, Julian encouraged Kiara to nap at least once. He had food delivered from the main house, so she never had to cook a meal for them.
All in all, it meant that she didn’t have to do anything but care for TJ. She was able to just enjoy being a new mom, and she was very grateful for that since she knew that wasn’t the case for all new mothers.
And for those two weeks, Kiara put the thought that divorce was imminent now that TJ was born, out of her mind.
The paternity test had proven that Julian was TJ’s father.
She’d known that would be the result. But with legalities such as the divorce looming, she wanted to make sure that it was official who TJ’s father was.
Kiara knew she should broach the subject with Julian, just so she’d know when the divorce was coming, but she couldn’t do it.
She found it much easier to imagine that Julian had decided that he wanted to stay married so that they could raise their son together, the way they’d cared for him together over the past two weeks.
Living in delusion might not be the best choice, but Kiara found that it was easier to keep her emotions under control if she imagined that Julian was there for her as much as he was for TJ.
Each time she settled with TJ in her arms to feed him, she prayed that that would be the outcome. Unfortunately, her faith struggled to be strong enough to believe it was actually possible.