Chapter 2
Petula had noticed Julian before. She’d actually been checking him out for weeks. Ever since the first time she’d noticed him in the shop. She’d tried not to fixate, but there was something about him…
Uh, uh. No way. She sternly reminded herself she didn’t do men.
Men were dangerous. Well, not all men, but in her experience, a lot of them.
The ones at work with whom she’d slowly and cautiously become friends could be trusted.
There were also a few, long-time customers on her route whom she felt were above-board—the Sothard brothers being amongst them—and there was her older brother, Statler.
Statler was her rock. Her one certainty in life. The single person she trusted more than anyone on earth. Without him, she didn’t know where she’d be right now, and that was huge.
Petula gave her head a slight shake.
Other than those few exceptions, she never trusted anybody with a Y chromosome without having a lot of background info on them. So what was with her, and this odd reaction to Julian?
She withdrew her hand from his, quickly put it behind her back, and wiped it surreptitiously on her pantleg. The tingle she’d felt, Petula told herself, couldn’t be anything other than a bit of her annoying carpel tunnel flaring up.
Taking a deep breath, she regrouped as her name lingered in the air between them, but she wasn’t sorry she’d told him. Her lowered shields had to be part and parcel of what she already knew about his family, which was quite a bit, actually. The Sothards were a mainstay in the area.
She’d long understood that the Sothard men were all cut from a reliable mold. Every person from Bangor to Orono seemed to know somebody in the esteemed family, and raved about the innate “goodness” that ran through their hard-working bloodlines.
The patriarch of the clan owned a lumber mill; his parents who’d retired from the business still lived nearby. Ellen Sothard, the mother of the brood who ran Diver Downeast, not only worked at a local camp, she volunteered wherever there was a need, and fed everyone who required help.
Their boys…
Not boys. Definitely men.
The fact that most of them had served one way or another didn’t hurt their reputations, and went a long way toward Petula being at ease around the group of physically imposing males.
But that was neither here nor there. Petula didn’t really know any of them, personally, other than joshing with them when she delivered a package, so she had no idea if their public characters matched what they were like in private.
People hid so much beneath the surface.
Sure, Spence, Buck’s—and more recently Trask’s—new wives looked very happy with their choice of men.
Petula silently scoffed.
Right.
Situations like that could appear solid when observed from the outside. It was only when you began to dig deeper that rot might become apparent.
No judgement from her. It was simply a reminder not to get too bowled over by the newest, handsomest, and currently single Sothard brother.
She schooled her features and backed off, holding his package toward him.
“I need a signature for this one,” she told him crisply, also proffering an electronic clipboard his way.
Julian blinked, and the spark that she’d seen ignite in his eyes, slowly died.
“Oh. Okay.” He cautiously took the offered items and scribbled his name.
Petula bit back the kinder words that sprung to her lips, treading on very shaky terrain as she, quite uncharacteristically wanted to ease the disappointed look that had dropped over his face.
But why did she feel like giving him comfort?
Dammit. If she were any judge, she’d say it was because Julian not only looked completely flustered and unsure of himself while speaking to her, but now appeared defeated; regrouping after her about-face, cool-down.
Why she was so affected by his confusion, she didn’t know.
Men’s disgruntled reactions, once she held them at arm’s length, were nothing new. But in this case…
She sensed no anger or combativeness from Julian.
Which was why there was no need to bring out her ice princess side, she reasoned. In the past, when a man wouldn’t take no for an answer, she was known to send one hell of a freeze-ray.
So, what the hell was this all about? Her soft stance? This man had shown interest. Petula wasn’t blind. But she also didn’t put up with any overtures these days, dammit.
She’d spell her position out for him, directly, as was her way.
Her brother, Statler, would have a fit once she told him how she’d dealt with Julian.
He reminded her constantly that her outspokenness was going to get her in serious trouble someday, but her mouth was her mouth, and she was too old to stop shit from coming out, especially since it had taken her years to own it.
“Listen,” Petula began. “I think you and your brothers are all really swell guys.”
“Swell,” Julian repeated, a ghost of his smile coming back. “I haven’t heard that word in a very long time.”
Petula shrugged. “Yeah, well, don’t get too excited. As swell as you all are, I have to warn you I’m not interested in being anything other than your delivery person. I don’t get involved with clients, no matter how good looking they are.” She’d give him that.
“Not even for a cup of coffee, or a quick, public lunch?” he ventured tentatively, clearly taking her flattery as an “in” to test things out.
Petula could easily see that he was floundering outside his comfort level, so she didn’t go for the throat. Instead, she softened her stance.
“Nope. Sorry. I don’t fraternize with customers. A friendly smile, a quick hello and goodbye, then I’m back on the road. You understand, right?”
Julian swallowed hard, then backed up a step after handing Petula her clipboard. “Yeah. No worries. I get it.”
He shuffled his feet, then raised his head to meet her eyes, his having become more wary, and a little sad.
“Listen. I’m really sorry if I said something inappropriate earlier.
Like the shorts thing.” He gestured vaguely toward her legs.
“I’m not the glibbest of guys. I was just…
a little surprised to see you dressed for summer this early in the season, so my tongue got ahead of my brain.
I didn’t mean anything by it. I promise. ”
The poor man looked and sounded so flustered, it made Petula stop and wonder why this brother wasn’t as full of bravado and bluster as the rest she’d met. For that reason, and several others she couldn’t name, Petula attempted once again to make him feel better.
“No sweat,” she returned evenly, adding a big smile that was only partially forced.
“It’s definitely not a problem. I should have figured that with my bold move, I was bound to get all sorts of flak about my choice of clothing.
Which means I should probably be thanking you for your direct approach.
It’ll no doubt help prepare me for all the other comments I’ll get today. ”
Julian’s shoulders instantly relaxed a fraction more. It made Petula feel warm inside that she wasn’t leaving him to second guess himself as she retreated back toward the door.
“So… You guys order a lot of stuff,” she added inanely, “which means I’ll see you during my next delivery…if you’re working then,” she spouted lamely.
“I’ll probably be here.” He chuckled lightly, which made Petula feel even better about not bringing out her bitch-side.
And also, he had the cutest dimple on his cheek…
Shit. Why the hell would she notice that?
Julian continued. “I’ll actually be covering the shop quite a bit since I’m the newest brother to sign on, and everyone else has their teaching credentials already. I have courses to take and some certifications to earn before I can take over any classes.”
That made sense, but…
“I understand your company also does rescue missions, right? At least that’s what I’ve heard,” Petula went on, not sure why she wasn’t already walking back to her truck. “I might have caught wind of jobs that required underwater inspections and other stuff like that.”
She’d been delivering to Diver Downeast since before it opened, and had been privy to quite a bit during her short forays into the office. “Won’t you eventually be part of those operations?”
“I will,” Julian stated, showing a bit more confidence now that the conversation had turned to business.
“I’ve actually been diving since I was a kid, and kept up with my skills during various…
situations I faced in the Air Force, so I’ll be an integral participant for any emergency call-outs or commercial jobs we get. ”
Petula noticed how he didn’t expound on what he actually did for the Air Force, which made her think, Special Forces.
“Sounds like fun,” she told him, trying to disguise a shiver.
Not.
She wasn’t going to let on that just the thought of getting in water deeper than her ankles, freaked her out.
Yup. Petula wasn’t a fan of being in the ocean, or a lake, or a pond.
Not at all. There were many things she’d overcome concerning her lousy past, but there were a handful she hadn’t dealt with yet.
Her fear of water being one of them. She’d get there, though.
Braving H2O was on her bucket list. And there was something about Julian…
Nope. Not going there. She should leave before she opened her big mo—
“Maybe once you get your certification, you can convince me to take some diving lessons,” she spewed.
Crap. Too late.
Julian brightened. “That would be nice. I’m taking courses next month, so I should be fully ready by the time summer rolls around.”
Great. That, at least, would give her time to come up with some feasible excuses why she was unable to follow through.
“Uh, huh.” She gave what she hoped passed for a smile. “Good to know. Now I’ve, umm, got to go.”
Why was she feeling oddly reluctant to leave? This wasn’t like her, at all.
Sure, she’d noted some months earlier, just how handsome all the other Sothard men were, but she’d never once felt anything more than an objective appreciation for their sculpted good looks.
That she had any interest in Julian at all was an anomaly, for sure; a fact that both fascinated and terrified her at the same time.
“Okay,” Julian responded, clearly not knowing the turmoil he was causing inside her. “It was nice meeting you, Petula.” One corner of his mouth twitched upward, adorably, his dimple popping again, and…
Damn. The way he said her name. Like a caress.
She needed to shut that shit down.
“Do me a favor,” she said, fast tracking it now, to the door. “Go with your initial instincts and call me Paul,” she sent over her shoulder. “That’ll be way more fun.”
She then bolted outside toward the safety of her vehicle, not looking back, but as he closed the door behind her, she heard his quiet laugh.
Shit. That sound hit her right in the chest.
As she started her truck and took off for her next delivery, she actually grew worried.
This…interest she was experiencing toward Julian was something brand new; a tingly, fizzy kind of feeling she’d never encountered before, and she didn’t know where to put it.
Not once, in all of her teen and adult years, had she had any actual interest in men, let alone physical stirrings.
She vaguely remembered elementary school crushes, but that had been long ago, and well before…
No. She wasn’t going to let her mind go there. There was no point in spoiling a good day.
Just because she’d had an odd moment of what could only be described as—if she were honest—a weird, attraction to Julian, it didn’t mean a thing.
It might have simply been a reaction to a bit of turned food she’d eaten this morning, or perhaps it was the way the bright sun had been shining through Diver Downeast’s plateglass windows, playing off Julian’s chiseled features.
Whatever.
It was over and done, now, and if she had any concerns that the protective barriers she’d spent so long shoring up, were crumbling a bit, she’d discuss it with Statler.
Her brother had been her rock for fourteen years, and he’d know how to set her mind straight; get her back on her comfortable path again.
Although…
Petula had been feeling a little bit guilty lately. No. If she were honest, she’d actually been feeling remorseful for quite some time. For all the things Statler had missed, and was still missing because of her.
It was her fault, Petula was sure, that her amazing sibling didn’t have any kind of social life.
The man worked, he came home, he hung out with her and his work crew.
They all had some great times together, of course, like fishing on weekends, and hiking the nearby mountains, but Stat didn’t have anything else going on for personal interactions because he wanted her to feel…
normal. Occasionally, she’d insist he go do something, and he’d head out to a bar with a few of his work buddies, but… There were no women in his life.
That made Petula sad.
Statler was a handsome man, well-honed from his stint in the Army, and there was no excuse for him not to be dating. Sure, he’d undergone some of the same shit Petula had as a youngster, but not for nearly as long, and not at the same depths of…
Nope. There she went again. Down the rabbit-hole.
That only ever led to having a bad day, so Petula nipped her thoughts in the bud and forced her mind to more pleasant things…
…like Julian’s thick, dark hair. His kind eyes. His adorable shyness that didn’t seem to be put on.
Gah! What was happening to her? Normally she’d go through her day without any kind of disruption to her focus, checking off things she had to accomplish like a familiar grocery list. Every day she’d do her deliveries, pick up something to prepare for supper, drive back to the nice, quiet house where she lived with Statler, and cook while waiting for him to come home on the days he wasn’t working far away.
It was a good life. A regimented life. A safe life. At least for her.
So why was she suddenly letting thoughts of Julian intrude?
It couldn’t lead to anything. That was a given.
Best case scenario, any interest in him would only muck up her head, and probably his, too, once he caught wind of how fucked up she was. Worst case? Pursuing…what? A friendship? A relationship? Right. Those things could send her spiraling, which was the last thing she needed.
It was best to leave this alone.
And the way to do that…?
Maybe she’d ask her boss for a route change. A new itinerary would take her out of Julian’s sphere, and put her odd feelings to rest, for sure.
But…
Petula sighed.
Down deep, she knew she wasn’t going to do that.
The small part of her that wasn’t scared, wanted to see what might happen with Julian Sothard.
And wouldn’t that just blow her entire, carefully constructed life, into a gazillion pieces.