Shattered Cup
I spent the following day dodging overzealous reporters while trying to be a highly functioning wreck. Without a shadow of a doubt, Julian had been ignoring my attempts to explain everything. And it hurt. Because two people who loved each other and had trust did not need to go through such an estrangement in the first place. But I also understood that he needed time to process it all. He shut down on me, withdrawing into himself as he often did when confronted with vulnerability. I knew, deep down, that a large part of his reaction was rooted in insecurity, and Bradley, despite being just a friend to me, was an unspoken threat in his mind. It wasn’t just about trust—it was about fear. Fear of losing me to someone who had undoubtedly shared a deep history with me.
So, I chose to wait until I could talk to him in person. I worked around the clock, instead of fixating on the scandal. After all, I didn’t have time to procrastinate if I was truly committed to revamping Amanda’s publishing business.
To my relief, Kali was handling her tasks remarkably well. She surprised me by asking for more work, even though I thought she already had more than enough on her plate as a new hire.
“You’re doing an incredible job! I’ll definitely pass that on to Amanda,” I remarked about her progress with the offline access. But it was still difficult to look cheerful, as I had made headlines in even more tabloids. I’d developed a hard shell, but even with my newfound strength, I still felt really low.
The chatter of people in the office became unmistakably about me, and Kali began to show concern. “Glad to hear, Lucie. By the way, I saw the news online, and even though it’s none of my business, I do hope you are hanging in there.” For the first time, she acknowledged my personal life from a friend’s perspective.
I leaned into my chair, the aroma of my third coffee lingering in the air, and sighed. “Yeah, a friendly dinner turned into hurtful gossip. Bradley and I are close, but not in that way.” I sulked.
The whispering of people outside faded as I focused on my thoughts, feeling the weight of the rumors pressing down but determined not to let them define me. “It’s best to ignore it. If they don’t write this, they’ll write something else.”
“Well, if you ever feel like you need to talk, Amanda had me sign documents, so I’m officially a great person to confide in,” she remarked with a playful grin.
“Is that so?” I hummed with quiet amusement.
“And for many more reasons, considering I’ve taken some serious hits in life more than once.” She flashed a wry smile, her eyes sparkling with that familiar mischief, turning a tough situation into something a little lighter. “I have never dated a billionaire, but all men seem to follow relatable patterns.” She winced.
I liked how down-to-earth she was. However, she’d have to truly meet Julian to know that he was short of predictable. “You know, she mentioned that you had a tough time before coming to Apogee . I didn’t want to pry, but I feel the same way. You always have a friend in me.”
She let out a sharp breath. “It’s not a secret. They let me go from my last job after I had my son. My maternity leave morphed into unemployment. After almost 10 years at my company.”
“Isn’t that pretty much illegal?” I frowned.
She shook her head. “Not really, they said it was because of restructuring. Then they gave my work to a new colleague. But, who would want to take legal action against a former employer, right? At that point, you’re basically bound to never find a job again.”
She had a valid point. Still, the image of her alone with a newborn tugged at my heart. She didn’t have a ring, so I was almost certain she was a single mom. “That’s rough, did you have any support?”
“Not really, I got through it mostly on my own.” She admitted. “My son’s father walked away the moment he discovered I was pregnant. Unfortunately, I have myself to blame for choosing him in the first place.”
“That’s harsh, Kali, I am sorry. We all fall in love picturing the best outcome.”
“I didn’t exactly have the best taste in men, Lucie. It always started out as strong relationships, but it ended with broken promises. I found myself in a tough spot, suddenly unable to pay the rent. I mean, taking a newborn to a homeless shelter just didn’t seem acceptable, you know?” Her eyes glistened, the weight of those memories still heavy on her shoulders.
“Do you have close friends or family?”
“A sister. She lives in Atlanta. Let’s just say she wasn’t available to help. Her husband has never liked me.” Her voice cracked, a hint of vulnerability breaking through the facade she usually maintained. “I started looking into government housing options when my savings ran out. It got so scary.”
“Amanda stepped in, didn’t she?”
She nodded vigorously. “I wrote her an email out of desperation since we used to be great friends. We’d lost touch for almost a decade, though.”
I knew the rest of the story. Amanda offered her a job. But it wasn’t just a charitable move on her end. Kali was incredible at what she did.
“I am glad you are here now. Honestly, you’ve been of great help in a short amount of time. I think your prior employer made a huge mistake, but it’s to our benefit.” I winked, my mood now much better after chatting with a friend.
She smiled brightly. “That’s exactly my intention, Lucie. I know you have a lot on your plate, so I’m here to make things easier for you. As for the app, I’m ready to take on anything you hand over.”
This cheered me up because I’d been drowning in tasks, and also bogged down by Julian’s silence. “Great, if you really don’t mind…”
“I don’t.” She reiterated.
“I’ll send you a list of technical issues we still need to resolve. I worked with our helpdesk, but I think some of them will require an experienced engineer. Maybe even someone we need to hire. Are you good with that?”
“Consider it done,” there was a spark in her eyes that told me she was ready to take on the challenge, and I felt a wave of relief knowing I could count on her support. At least there was something I could count on these days…
The evening of Julian’s return finally arrived. I spent a few anxious minutes mindlessly scrolling through Instagram with my anonymous account, one I created so I could interact with my close friends. The distraction helped, even if just for a moment. In my wandering, I stumbled across a fascinating fact: the Hydra, a water organism, could be blended in a mixer and then regenerate its entire body in just a few days. It was a strange comfort to think about resilience, even in such an odd context.
Right around the time when I expected it, I heard the unmistakable roar of Julian’s Lamborghini Huracán engine revving outside. The sound was both exhilarating and nerve-wracking, a reminder that he was back and that our conversation was imminent. I glanced out the window, my heart racing at the thought of what would transpire between us. We were two strong-minded individuals, so any disagreement could feel huge.
He’d ignored all my messages so there was no doubt that he was pissed. Did he have the right to be? Probably yes. But we could have resolved all of it if only he’d picked up my calls.
I remained in our home office until I heard signs that he was inside our apartment. There was no way to hear him open the downstairs, so by then, he’d already come up to the middle-floor kitchen. One thing became clear immediately: he wasn’t looking for me. A mix of anticipation and apprehension settled in as I contemplated my next move. To my great disdain, his choice to ignore me triggered a wave of fear tied to memories of my dad. As a child, I often felt that same knot of dread when my father came home upset, and now Julian’s mood was stirring up those old feelings. These memories now flooded back.
I descended the one floor separating us, hoping that his excitement of seeing me would overcome any bitterness he may have been holding onto. “Hi,” I muttered as I spotted him in the kitchen making an espresso. The air between us was charged, buzzing with anger and desperation.
Julian looked like he hadn’t slept much. Still, he was wickedly handsome, exuding confidence in his sharp suit that fit his lean physique perfectly. His thick hair had a touch of ruggedness, suggesting he didn’t take himself too seriously, or that he’d perhaps had too long of a flight. Or both. His well-defined jawline and captivating eyes usually held a blend of ambition and warmth, but right now, they radiated coldness, even hate. Still, his undeniable sex appeal remained intact, unbothered by the change in his demeanor.
“Hey,” he mustered enough energy to acknowledge me.
“Did you have a good trip?” I tried to spark a conversation. But the words felt like a sharp knife gliding over my skin—painful and risky. I didn’t need to be a highly empathetic individual to see that he was not interested in small talk. He wouldn’t even look at me, so I braced myself for one of the first fights we would have as a couple. The dinner with Bradley sure had come around to haunt me.
“Yeah, everything was fine, Lucie. Until I found out my fiancée got dinner with the guy she dated last year.” His voice was steady, but I could hear crushing hurt simmering just beneath the surface. I could feel it—like the air around us had thickened, the anger barely contained.
At least we were trying to talk it out. “I ran into Bradley while driving to Hillcrest. And, the two of us decided to get dinner as friends.” I forced myself to look at him, searching for any sign that my words were making an impact.
BANG.
Before I could finish, he smashed the cup against the counter, the sound echoing in the tense silence.
Holy fuck. He’d never done anything that intense during the entire time I’d known him. When it came to violence, everyone was walking on thin ice with me. I could never accept any of it in a relationship. “You’re not being fair,” I defended myself. “You’re just not fair to me, Julian.”
“And you are?” His gaze, usually as powerful as the sun, which once filled me with strength, now drained me of it. “When Alice trashed my name in papers, I didn’t think any girl could top it.” His voice was tight, laced with frustration and something else—a sharp edge that I couldn’t quite place. Julian was talking about his ex-girlfriend, the one who had sold her side of the story to the tabloids. It had all happened right before the two of us met.
Still, I refused to look away. “I should have been more careful but the headlines couldn’t be further from reality.” It was then that I noticed he was trembling. His hands shook ever so slightly, and a thin sheen of sweat clung to his forehead. “Are you okay? Are you sick?” I queried. I also noticed he had lost a fair amount of weight during the trip.
He downed the double espresso despite the time of the day. “Did you fuck him?” Julian thundered, ignoring most of what I’d just asked.
“No. And if you’re accusing me of cheating,” I responded frowning, frustration rising in my chest, “we should have more trust than this. I’ve been looking forward to seeing you, but not in this mood.” Something about him seemed different, if not menacing. There was aloofness in his posture, a rigidity in his face that I hadn’t encountered before. I hated to admit to myself that I was still attracted to him regardless. Even when had was going through turbulent emotions, he was still the man I loved. And I loathed seeing him hurt because of something I did, even if not intentionally.
I reached out, my fingers brushing against his arm, a tentative touch that was meant to pull him back from whatever dark place he’d retreated to. “I would never hurt you like that,” I murmured softly, trying to coax the man I knew to return. “But I do feel a certain closeness to Bradley, and our connection means something.” My voice faltered slightly as the words left my mouth, but I pushed forward, needing to be honest. “Can you accept him in my life as a close friend?” I knew I was pushing it, but I also needed to be honest with people in my life, especially with Julian whom I planned to marry.
But all I saw was disbelief in his demeanor. He leaned against the counter, his hands gripping the edge for support, his chest rising with a shallow breath. “Lucie, I’ve seen enough pictures of the two of you since last year,” he spat, his eyes like shards of glass, each word cutting through the air. “And you’re not wearing your ring, either, from what I see.” He glanced at my bare hand. “Is that why you didn’t want to go on the trip, to spend time with him? Figure yourself out?”
The words hit me like a slap. “I shouldn’t have to explain myself, but I’m overwhelmed with work, spending most of my time there. And if you remember, I’m not wearing my ring because we’re planning to tell Gram.” I looked into his eyes, hoping for any sign of understanding, but all I found was more icy distance.
“You’re not at work right now, Lucie.” he retorted.
I felt my eyes sting with tears. Misunderstandings could be cleared up with compassion, with kindness, with the kind of love that had always bound us together. I stepped closer, trying to wrap my arms around him, trying to force some kind of connection between us. “Julian, please.”
“Get off me.” He snapped as if I’d hurt him just with my touch.
My arms fell away from him like they were burned, the empty space between us now more real than ever. I felt urgency to convince him of the truth, but his darkness swallowed any attempt for me to go after him. It was also my pride—he’d wronged me to some extent, so why should I chase after him?
I decided to give him the space he needed, even as my heart ached. Time could sort this out, but right now wasn’t a good moment to keep pushing.
“I can’t be here anymore,” he exclaimed, spinning around at the corner of the staircase and heading downstairs.
“Then don’t,” I snapped.
“I’m going out to find another girl who is actually loyal. And trust me, in the meantime, there’s not going to be a shortage of women who want to fuck tonight. And fuck hard. Enjoy your evening, Lucie.”
The coldness of his tone drilled a hole through my heart. This was new, new to us. Within seconds, I heard the door slam shut, leaving me feeling panicked and hollow. I collapsed to the floor, my back against the kitchen cabinets, and I began to sob uncontrollably.
The roar of his Lambo echoed in the distance as it sped away.
It took me a while to collect myself, nevertheless, I eventually got up to call Rose. She had been Julian’s assistant, chef, and family all rolled into one. If anyone could console me and offer some insights, it was her, the fixer extraordinaire.
At around seventy years old, she was still a woman of sharp wit. She also saw me as the best thing that happened to Julian, so this would work to my advantage. Maybe she could talk to him before it was too late, before his pain drove him into the arms of another woman amidst his self-doubt. The way Julian dealt with pain was with revenge, and if he was convinced that I’d cheated with Bradley, then maybe he would try to prove a point by doing the worst he could do to sever our bond.
“Hi, Rose,” I gasped, still struggling to catch my breath after crying so much. Still, crying had made me feel better about the situation, like a soothing rain after a scorching drought. I wiped my eyes and managed a shaky smile.
“Hunny, are you okay?” She immediately recognized that something was off.
“Julian saw articles about me while he was in Dubai. I think he believes the story.” I blurted out.
“Oh, Lucie.” Based on the tone of her voice, she was already familiar with the news. “I know you wouldn’t do such a thing. Besides, he must know the truth.”
She was quite right that even if I wanted to sleep with a guy, there would be no way to do so without Will being aware of it. So why did he even ask me this in the first place?
“Please, can you talk to him? I don’t even know where he went. But I think he’s going to take home another girl.” I wrung my hands together in nervousness.
She inhaled sharply. And I suddenly noticed something seemed wrong. It was as if she was struggling to breathe. “Are you okay Rose?”
“I apologize, Lucie, I’ve had some pain in my chest today but I think it’s just indigestion. It usually flares up when I eat potatoes, for some reason I am sensitive.”
She managed to settle my mind. I suffered from heartburn too, especially when I was under stress.
“Julian and I had an argument, and we are not on speaking terms as of now.” She continued without giving me time to inquire about her health further.
What? I blinked in surprise. Had something happened between them? Was this the reason Julian seemed so on edge? It felt distinctly strange that they had a problem with each other. Rose was like a grandmother to him, or at least that’s how I would describe their relationship if I could only use one comparison. The two hadn’t had a falling out that I knew of.
“What happened?” I pressed Rose to better understand.
“Lucie, I had to promise him that I would not tell you the reason. While I disagreed, I do believe that it’s best if it comes from him.” Her voice sounded shaky and weak.
“I just need to know he’s okay,” I frowned. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.” Julian had struggled with depression, and the last thing I wanted was to be the reason he shut down. “Please tell me what’s going on. He doesn’t seem to be fine.”
She got silent. I waited and waited for her to explain herself.
“I do worry about him. He’s…” Her voice suddenly faltered as she spoke on the phone. “I’m dizzy,” she murmured. “I apologize.” She hardly finished the sentence.
I heard the unmistakable sound of her cell phone clattering to the ground.
“Rose?” I called out, fear creeping into my voice. I strained to hear anything, but there was nothing—no response, no sound. She’d fallen, and I knew I had to hurry to do something about it. My heart hammered against my ribs while I quickly dialed 911 on the other line, my fingers shaking as I pressed the numbers. “Please, I need help,” I spoke rapidly, my voice trembling. “My friend—she’s in trouble. She just said she was dizzy while on the phone, and I think she fell too.”
“Do you have her address,” the dispatcher asked.
I ran to the office, to find it, and thankfully I still had it written down where I remembered. I hurled it out like it was the most important information I’d ever given to anyone. “Heart attack, she might be having a heart attack.”
As I waited for the operator to respond, I could feel the seconds stretching into an eternity. “Rose!” I took off hold the other line, desperate for any sign of life. I imagined her alone, vulnerable, and the thought of her possibly gone turned unbearable. On the other end of the line, the phone buzzed with an eerie silence. Each moment felt heavier, a crushing weight of fear in my chest as I battled against my rising panic. “Please, don’t go Rose,” I wailed into the speaker, hoping she could somehow hear me. My knees buckled, and I collapsed to the floor, the shock of it momentarily grounding me. But I couldn’t stay there, not with her life hanging in the balance. I pushed myself up, my legs trembling, and without another thought, I bolted for the door, rushing toward the closest ER near her house.