Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Romeo Hall, Sanctum
D id I die?
Will I be lost in the dark forever?
I don’t open my eyes.
Fevered, I roll around on a bed that crinkles and rustles. It smells deliciously of sweet honey.
I rub at my itching skin.
Someone pulls me against their hard chest, and I sigh in delight because they feel cool against my heated body. I burrow closer to them.
Then I raise my head and sniff.
I catch a sudden powerful waft of spicy, almond Cognac.
Alpha!
It makes slick gush between my thighs.
I need my Alpha.
I need to be knotted.
Please…
My mind is hazy at the edges, but at the same time, this feels like a missing part of myself that I’m reclaiming.
And my Alpha, Ambrose, does too.
He came for me when I needed him. He’s trying to deny his bond with Swan and me, as well as Vito, out of a misguided attempt to protect us.
But I can tell just how real it is.
He hasn’t left me to ride this out by myself. Instead, he’s with me just as if I was his bonded Omega.
I purr, deep and satisfied.
When I open my eyes, my vision is unfocused.
Yet I can see the curls and twinkling eyes of Benedict, who’s cradling me protectively against his chest. We’re lying together in his paper nest still in the library.
“She’s awake,” Ambrose’s deep voice rumbles.
I turn my head and see his dark outline sitting in a velvet high-backed armchair, which has been pulled up close to the side of the nest.
Ambrose is dressed now in a rumpled brown shirt with the sleeves rolled back and gray trousers. He looks dashing but exhausted with shadows underneath his eyes.
His golden hair looks like he’s run his hand through it too many times.
How long has he been sitting there?
How long have I been unconscious?
Wait, why is it dark in here, apart from the glow of rose shaped lanterns that are hanging from the columns?
I glance up through the glass dome.
The night sky is black. The moon is trying to shine through but is obscured by the driving snow.
When the wind slams against the dome, I whimper.
Benedict kisses the top of my head, hushing me. “The blizzard can’t hurt you, soul mate. You’re safe with me. We’re high in the mountains here. We may be cut off for a couple of days, but the reports say that the bad weather will be over soon.”
“She’s scared of storms.” Ambrose’s voice is tight. “How can we help her? She shouldn’t be frightened in her first heat.”
How does he know that? How does he understand so much about me?
And that means it’s true. I am in my first heat.
How is it possible?
Panic winds through me. I whine.
I can’t help it. My heat is making my instincts go wild.
I’m burning up like there’s a sun at my core, rather than the moon. Ambrose is the only one who can survive the flames.
I should be overjoyed that I won’t be labeled a Non-Heat anymore. In theory, my Alphas would be able to apply for me to no longer be a Reject.
Yet I don’t have a proper pack, do I? Is Ambrose even my Alpha, if he doesn’t plan to bond with me?
Yet he’s felt like my Alpha, since before he began slipping me rose shaped notes at high school, calling me his sun .
“Alpha,” I whisper, stretching out my hand toward Ambrose.
I don’t know if he’ll take my hand.
But all of a sudden, I need Ambrose with an aching desperation.
I’ve always needed him.
And I can feel it in my soul that he needs me just as much. Why else did he ask Laurent for a photograph of Swan and me to put above their nest?
Ambrose must have strong self-control to be holding himself back from falling into rut. Although, by the way that his hands are shaking, he’s close.
Ambrose launches himself out of the chair, kneeling by the side of the nest.
He clasps my hand, clutching it to his heart. “I’m here.”
I relax under the wave of intense pheromones that he puts out. I lean into Benedict’s hold.
The two men exchange a glance.
But then, the wind howls, shaking the dome above me, as if a giant is shaking a snow globe, and I tremble.
Ambrose cusses, pushing a strand of hair tenderly behind my ear. “Snow, wind, or fire. I won’t allow anything to hurt my Omega.”
“I’m not your Omega.” I duck my head.
Hurt flashes across Ambrose’s face. “You are, if you want to be.”
“I do.” I tighten my hold on his hand. I never want to let go. “For such a smart man, you can be really dumb. There’s no power imbalance between us. Swan and I are in love with you. We wanted you to select us. Whatever is making you feel like the villain CEO who snatched the poor Omega, at the same time as falling in love with his employee, that’s the illusion. The real story is two dancers who entranced their Alpha childhood sweetheart into saving them, along with a brave man who’s undercover.”
“And their Omega,” Benedict adds.
“Their talented, beautiful Omega,” I clarify, pleased when Benedict glows, purring in response to the praise. “This could be your pack, Amby. We’re here willingly.”
Ambrose doesn’t answer, stroking the back of my hand. He looks lost in thought.
When the wind howls again, I curl into myself in fear.
Swan has his phobia of bugs. Mine is of storms.
Everybody is scared of something.
Not everybody admits it.
Benedict kisses me hurriedly, before diving around in the nest and rummaging to find something.
Then he appears with a phone, while torn pages stick to his curls like a crown. “There are precisely ten hours, thirty four minutes, and seven seconds of my new piano recordings on here. I composed them, and Ambrose set up a channel for me. I only have one thousand and eighty-two subscribers right now but that’s a lot because I never thought anyone would listen to an Omega pianist. Most of them are other Omegas. I hope that I inspire them to play. I would love to be able to play in cafes, parks, train stations…just somewhere that everybody can listen for free. Then Omegas — everybody — can see that Rejs can play too.”
He crawls back up the nest to me, unwinding earbuds from around the phone.
Then he offers them to me.
I stare at them. “Do you want me to listen?”
Benedict runs his fingers through his hair to knock the paper out of it. “It’s what I do, when I’m overloaded or need to escape the world.”
I nod, and Benedict smiles as he places the earbuds in my ears.
“When I was in England for all those years, I played songs in my head like this.” Benedict strokes my cheek. “I was scared then but not of storms. I was scared that I’d always be alone in the dark. The music helped me to see the sun.”
My chest tightens.
Then the music starts, drowning out the sound of the blizzard.
The music is complex and fluid, as if Benedict’s fingers are dancing over the keys as rapidly and elegantly as Swan and I dance together.
He’s a true virtuoso.
Gradually, I relax.
Benedict pulls me against his shoulder, stroking my hair. “Close your eyes. Imagine only the blue skies and the bright sun. You’re there with me and our pack.”
I smile, imagining that it’s summer at Romeo Hall.
I’m lying out on the lawn in the gardens, staring up at the azure sky, while Benedict sprawls next to me. Swan dances to the music with Vito, and Ambrose stands watching guard over us all.
For the first time in my life, I feel safe in the storm.
I snuggle more firmly against Benedict.
Then a wave of heat hits me, and I moan.
My eyes snap open.
Reluctantly, I drag the earbuds out and shove the phone back to Benedict, who pushes it out of the nest. “I’m close to…”
Ambrose’s brow creases in concern. “I’m carrying her to my bed to make her more comfortable.”
He wants me in his own bedroom?
Benedict sits up from the bed in a rain of paper.
He bares his teeth. “This is our nest. No changes have been agreed. My Juliet needs a nest for her heat. I’ll build her a better one, anything she likes. Isn’t this good enough?”
I hear the vulnerability under that.
Isn’t his nest good enough? Is it defective…like he is?
Isn’t he good enough?
Still, I can’t help the thrill at the way he calls it our nest.
“Benedict, stop,” Ambrose commands. His amber gaze is stern. “We can build her another one in our bedroom.”
“She likes our nest,” Benedict replies with a growl.
It appears that Omegas are territorial about their nests.
“Your nest is ideal.” Ambrose’s expression gentles. “It suits your needs perfectly. But it may not be what Juliet needs—”
“It is,” I say, quickly. “I like the feel of these pages. I can’t wait to be naked amongst them like my Foxy. Perhaps, we could add something that smells of all of us like…”
“Our clothes? I’ve got you, my Queen.” Swan swaggers through the library like he owns it.
Of course he does.
It doesn’t matter that he was raised as a servant and then in the academy. Swan could style out that he belonged even in a palace.
I’m probably the only one who can see that it’s bravado to cover his nerves.
He’s clutching an armful of his ballet tank tops, Vito’s biker jackets, and what must be Ambrose’s suit shirts.
He’s also holding Ambrose’s American football jersey.
I stare at Swan in awe.
He’s dressed in one of the designer suits that were hanging in our closet. The stylish suit is light gray wool, which picks up the silver flecks in his eyes. His tie is a gleaming silver over a crisp white shirt.
I’ve never seen him dressed in anything but the ballet uniforms or cheap black t-shirts and underwear.
He looks fucking glorious in a suit.
And somehow, even more of a rebel.
Vito’s rushing to catch up with Swan. He’s wearing the same clothes as earlier. His black hair hangs over his face, and he looks as exhausted as Ambrose does.
Fuck, my first heat hit on Christmas Day.
I truly fucked this day up for them, didn’t I?
Vito waves the phone that he’s carrying at Ambrose. “Bad news. I rang everybody in your contacts and mine. Fucking everybody. No doctors can come out, since it’s Christmas. Also because of the blizzard. We’re snowed in.”
“You actually tried to call a doctor for JuJu?” Swan turns to look at Vito in wonder.
No one calls doctors for members of the academy. We learn first aid and treat ourselves.
“Tried and failed.” Vito slips his phone back into his pocket. “Hey, Jules, you don’t have a needle phobia or something, right?”
“Storms,” Benedict murmurs, licking my neck.
“I can look after her through this heat. I treat her injuries myself,” Swan says, possessively. Then he dumps the clothes onto the nest, and my back arches at the sudden burst of new scents. “You always were dramatic, my Queen. You’re like a phoenix, bursting to life the moment that we’ve found our pack.”
Ambrose huffs. “Hardly.”
To my shock, Swan’s eyes flash and he launches himself at Ambrose. Then he wrestles him down onto his back.
Ambrose appears so shocked that he lies beneath Swan, unmoving.
“Ignore them.” Vito shrugs. “Swan clearly is a Beta who’s into manhandling Alphas. Since his brother is an actual Destroyer of Alphas, I think that we got off lucky.”
Vito sprawls on the bed amongst the clothes. He throws a biker jacket at me, and I bury my face in it, taking a deep breath of its delicious vanilla espresso scent.
Benedict begins to weave the clothes together by their sleeves to build walls around the nest, and Vito helps him.
Ambrose glares at Swan. “Get off me.”
“Apologize to our Omega.” Swan’s eyes burn.
It’s like fire meeting ice.
Coldly, Ambrose arches his brow. “I’m twice as strong as you. I’m letting you hold me down. I could throw you out of this room as easily as blinking.”
“Try it.”
“Is that a challenge?”
“Guys,” Vito calls, “cute as your dick waving is, we have an Omega who is close to heat here.”
Ambrose draws in a sharp breath, before turning his head to catch my gaze. “I’m sorry, Juliet. I didn’t mean that you’re not a phoenix. I meant that you’ve always been one. Having a heat or not doesn’t change that for me. The man who I love more than life…” His gaze darts to Benedict, who flushes. “He doesn’t need heats to fly as beautifully as a phoenix.”
“Shit, my turn to say sorry, Bec.” Swan looks worriedly at Benedict. “Are you okay?”
Benedict nods, building my nest with his clever fingers. “Thirteen years, eleven months, and nine days. That’s how long I’ve had to cry about being a Non-Heat. Today, I’m only happy that my soul mate will no longer be one.”
Hell, he means that. How many Omegas would?
It takes a truly strong person to be able to support someone else’s happiness, despite knowing that they’ll never be able to have it themselves.
Except, if I have children, Benedict will raise them equally.
I will make sure that he’s their dad, as much as I’m their mom.
This will be his joy, as well as mine. I’m going to fucking make sure of it.
Swan’s intense gaze settles back on Ambrose. “May I kiss you, Amby?”
“You will kiss me,” Ambrose commands.
Swan chuckles. “Just keep on giving me orders. See what happens.”
Despite that, Swan kisses Ambrose.
I expect their first kiss to be aggressive, but it’s not. Instead, it’s tender.
Ambrose slides his hand up into Swan’s hair, quickly taking over the initiative and dominating the kiss.
Swan’s eyes flutter closed.
It looks like they’re rediscovering each other in each swipe of their tongues.
It’s also pushing Ambrose closer to rut.
I turn my head and eye Vito.
He’s busying himself with helping Benedict, while pretending not to watch the kiss.
But he is.
He’s also much closer to rut than Ambrose is. I can see how hard he is in his leather trousers. He’s quivering and taking deep calming breaths to try and control it.
I pull Ambrose’s jersey closer to me, holding it to my nose alongside Vito’s biker jacket in order to breathe in the scents of both my Alphas at the same time.
Vito notices and smiles.
Finally, Ambrose breaks off the kiss and pushes Swan off him as easily as he said that he could into the nest. Then he sits up, tidying his tie and smoothing down his shirt.
He glances at me, before his eyes widen. “You have my football jersey.”
I nod, holding it closer to my nose.
“You didn’t forget me either.” Ambrose’s eyes gleam, darkly.
“Of course we didn’t.” Swan nudges Ambrose’s shoulder. “You’re my best friend. You’re our fated Alpha.”
Then Swan crawls across the nest and drags Vito up by the hair into a slow, passionate kiss. “And he’s my Little Snake.”
Ambrose clenches his hands in his lap. “You’re kissing him. And Juliet is sniffing his jacket. Vito, why are you in this nest?”
Vito stiffens. “Don’t you want me here, sir? No doctors can come out, and I’m worried about Jules. But if you’re ordering me to leave…”
When Vito reluctantly looks like he’s readying to push himself out of the nest, Swan tightens his hold on his hair.
“You’re not going anywhere, Little Snake,” Swan growls. “You’re our Alpha too.”
Ambrose’s expression becomes shuttered. “He may not have told you the truth but—”
“He has.” Swan looks like he’s trying very hard not to snarl for my sake. Finally, he loosens his hold on Vito’s hair, smoothing it down with a stroke. “He’s spent the afternoon explaining. You may be fostering him, but nothing is fake about the way that JuJu and I feel about him. If you told the truth, you’d accept that you feel the same way as well. My Queen, all that matters is whether you want Viper to stay.”
I hold out my hand to Vito. “Alpha, don’t leave me.”
Vito’s face lights up.
He scrambles to reach for my hand, entangling our fingers. “Never, my Omega.”
I’m certain that a look of relief flashes across Ambrose’s expression, before he can hide it.
Ambrose coughs. “What an Omega in heat wants, they get.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’ve screwed up our first Christmas, haven’t I? You had this amazing Christmas lunch planned. Plus, present giving and—”
“ Pfft ,” Vito squeezes my hand, “that can happen any year. This is your first heat. It’s the most awesome gift. It’s the best Christmas of my life because I’m part of a pack. I’m honored that you’ve selected me to help you through this heat.”
Swan grins. “See? Last night, an Alpha selected you, but now, an Omega has the power to select her Alphas. I love a good role reversal.”
I shudder, sinking even further into my heat. Voices are sounding muffled like I have cotton wool in my ears.
It’s becoming harder to concentrate.
Think.
Speak.
“How am I in heat?” I struggle to force out.
Ambrose pushes himself to his feet, pacing back and forth across the shadowy library. “I don’t need a doctor to tell me the answer. When I was in England, I toured the neighboring country, Scotland, which is a rare Omegaocracy. Alphas are warriors there but only in the service of their Omegas. There’s even an Omega King. So, they have Omega ballet dancers. I became close to the artistic director and learned much about the best way to run it for dynamics besides Betas. One of the dangers was too intense training, which could damage or delay heats.”
My skin feels clammy. My eyes burn.
I can’t imagine a country like Scotland or ballet companies where everyone is like me.
It hurts to think that my heats were delayed because no concern was paid to my dynamic, or as Katerina would put it, accessibility adjustments .
“But JuJu is having a heat now,” Swan says, cautiously. “She’ll be okay.”
Ambrose doesn’t answer.
Benedict abandons his nest building to wrap his arms around me.
“Please, Alpha.” I bury my face in Ambrose’s jersey. “I hate secrets more than storms. Even if it’s frightening, I’d prefer to know the truth.”
“Would you?” Ambrose turns to face me. He looks tired and haunted. “Isn’t that just a lie that people say?”
“Not me.”
“Brave Omega.” Vito tightens his hold on my hand.
“When Omegas with delayed heats from over training finally have them,” Ambrose says through clenched teeth, “the heats are intense. They hit with a vengeance. Most end in death.”
Death?
Instantly, I’m chilled.
I whine, high and distressed.
I’m going to die.
I’m having my first heat, and it’s going to kill me.
“Why the fuck did you tell her that?” Swan throws himself off the nest like he’s about to launch into either a dance or a fight. Paper spins around him. “Why couldn’t you have…?”
“Lied?” Ambrose’s piercing gaze searches out mine. “See, this is why I wasn’t going to tell you. I can’t win, can I? I’ve been trying to protect everyone by lying for years. It eats me up. It’s destroying me, layering scar upon scar inside. I don’t want to be Juliet’s enemy anymore. Is that too much to ask for? I need to be both your Alphas. And that means finally being brave enough to tell the truth.”
“I asked him to,” I say, no matter how hard I’m shaking. “I begged him to be honest.”
“We’re going to save her.” Vito’s breathing too fast, panicked. “We’re going to fucking save her. Whatever you say, sir , the connections between us are real. I’d do anything to save an Omega, you know that. But how could I not fall for this one?” He looks at me with such love that it blows me away. Then he winks at Swan. “And you, beautiful, you’re my fierce Beta. Honey?” He smiles more softly at Benedict. “You’re the man who I feel like I’ve been waiting for my entire life. I’ve loved you from your first purr.”
“And me?” Ambrose straightens his shoulders like he’s waiting to be struck.
“Baby,” Vito says like he’s trying out the word, before enjoying the way that Ambrose can’t settle on an expression like he’s both pleased and horrified at the pet name, “I’ve been crazy about you for weeks. Can’t you tell? I even stopped playing Nirvana, when you ordered me to. How much more of a love confession do you need? A bouquet of flowers with I LOVE YOU written in my blood?”
“I like roses,” Ambrose deadpans. “Blood play isn’t one of my kinks.”
Vito’s lips twitch. “Noted for future reference. My point is that I’ve been living alone above my bakery. I didn’t think that I’d ever have my own pack. Now, I’m not letting go of this one. Jules, nothing is going to happen to you. You may be in a dangerous heat but you also have something rare: two scent matches. This isn’t fake; it’s fucking real. If we not only rut with you, but bond as well, won’t that up the chances of survival?”
Ambrose strides back to the bed. “It would. Juliet, while you’re still able to consent, do you want to bond with both Vito and me?”
“ Yes .” I glance between both of them. This is everything that I’ve dreamed about. “Yes, please.”
“Such a polite Omega.” Ambrose smiles, flashing his canines.
“Just wait until she’s out of her heat. You’ll get a shock.” Swan rests his hand on Ambrose’s shoulder. “But she has the chance of even stronger bonds than scent matches. We’re fated. I don’t give a shit that you don’t believe in it. Fated bonds are the strongest in the world. I’m not taking any chances with her life.”
“Neither am I,” Ambrose growls. “What do you suggest?”
When Swan exchanges a glance with Vito, I can tell that they’ve already planned this.
Those two are going to be dangerous scheming together. I love how close Vito and Swan have become, although they’re going to be trouble.
“As long as my Queen agrees, let’s all bond with her,” Swan declares.
I gasp.
All of them?
Beta and Omega as well?
It’s taboo.
What the hell is Swan doing?
Vito is on shaky ground as an employee here. And despite how welcoming Ambrose has been so far, Swan is a Beta.
Beta and Omega bites and bonds are forbidden.
To my shock, Ambrose only takes a moment, before he nods. “If Juliet wants you to bond with her, and it saves her life, then of course. Excellent plan.”
He says it like it’s simple.
I catch his gaze in surprise.
Benedict’s warm breath on my neck makes me shiver. “Please, my soul mate.”
“I want all of you.” My voice is more even than I’m expecting. “I need you to bite and bond me. Then I crave to be knotted over and over again. But I’m scared…”
Outside, the storm rages against the dome. The dark surrounds me.
“I’m here as the Beta to get snacks and drinks for you Omegas and Alphas, as you’ll be lost in heat and ruts. Over the next twenty-four hours, I’ll look after you, the same as if this was a performance. How many times have I made sure that you’re okay? I’ve got this. I’ll ensure that you’re not dehydrated, wash you, and guard over you.” Swan’s steady gaze never wavers from mine. “I swear, I’ll always catch you.”
And that’s all I need to finally let go and lose myself to my heat.
Yet it’s a heat that may kill me.