Chapter 19
CHAPTER 19
FOUR MONTHS LATER
SYDNEY
Dust coats my fingertips as I run them over the fireplace mantel.
“It’s been ages since we’ve been here.” I look over as Jace walks through the front door, carrying collapsed boxes under his arms with Mum and Dad behind him.
He looks around the room silently as he comes to stand by me. I bump my shoulder into his. “Remember when you and Lawson used to slide down the stairs on our sleds? The one time you let me join, we crashed so hard at the bottom and I broke my arm.”
“I was grounded for months.” I revel in that small smile while it lasts before he slides back on the stoic mask he’s been wearing for months. “I’m going to start upstairs.”
Without another word, he disappears. Mum comes over and rubs my shoulder before heading into the kitchen. I sigh and look around the family room one last time before I grab a bag and start to clean up.
The day passes with boxes packed, surfaces wiped down, and silent passings from my brother. By the time the sun starts to set, we’re finishing up the last room.
I eye a package in the back of one of the closets and pull it out.
“What’s this?” I ask as I rip the paper off.
“Wait. Darling, don’t,” Mum calls out from the other side of the room but it’s too late. The paper falls, revealing a black and white image of Jace looking up at the sky, floating lanterns surrounding him.
Kinsley.
My eyes shoot to where my brother stands, staring at the portrait. Mum rushes over and covers it. “I’m so sorry. I forgot I was going to hang it here.”
His jaw ticks and he looks away. “It’s okay.” I scoff and his head whips up. “Do you have something you want to say?”
I move to clear off a shelf. “Nope.”
“Are you sure? Because it seems like you have something to get off your chest?”
Mum shakes her head, but I glance down at the photo. The paper slips and a sliver of Jace’s face peeks through.
“Don’t you ever wonder?”
“Wonder what, Syd?” he asks.
My eyes meet his. “Why she didn’t show up?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.”
“No. You haven’t for four months, Jace. But we all see it!”
“See what?”
“You’re heartbroken,” I huff, my chest rising and falling on quick breaths. “You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve and right now it’s in pieces.”
His jaw ticks and I throw my arms out.
“I miss my brother! I miss the guy who would spell out inappropriate things with the peas on his dinner plate. I miss our twice a week FaceTime calls where we see who can make Lawson freak out the fastest. I miss your smile and laugh because no matter what’s going on, it makes me feel better. I miss you.”
Tears fall down my cheeks and I watch his eyes glisten. “You haven’t been the same in months. Ever since…” I trail off and his head drops. “I know a lot happened that day and we’ve given you time to work through it, but you don’t have to go through all of this alone. We are here. I am here.” My chest heaves. “I’m ready to have my best friend back.”
He looks back up at me and my heart shatters as a tear rolls down his cheek. “I don’t know what to do,” he whispers.
“Talk to us,” I plead.
He collapses onto the small leather loveseat, his head in his hands. I rush over and sit next to him, wrapping my arms around his shaking shoulders.
“It wasn’t supposed to be this way.”
I press my cheek against his shoulder. “I’m so sorry, J.”
“I thought she felt the same.”
“Why haven’t you reached out to her?” I ask.
“I’ve wanted to?—”
“What’s stopping you?”
“Because I told her I’d respect whatever it is she decided.” His eyes are overflowing with tears when they meet mine. “Too many people have gone back on their word with her. I wasn’t going to be one of them.”
“Jace—”
“Does it really matter now anyway?”
“You don’t think she would’ve stayed?” Mum asks, sitting down in the chair across from us.
“I don’t think I would have made her. This would be too much for anyone.” He huffs a tired laugh. “Hell, I’m barely holding my head above water as it is.”
“You’re not alone though. Let us in, Jace.”
He smiles sadly at me. “Sydney, you’re just a kid yourself?—”
“Which makes me practically an expert on what they like right?”
Chuckling, he leans back and wraps an arm around my shoulders. “Remember what you needed as a babe, then?”
“Pfft.” I wave him off. “That’s what home videos are for.”
“Great idea. I’ll watch and then do the opposite so I have a chance at them not turning out like you.”
“Hey! You’d be lucky for her to turn out like me.”
“Could be a boy,” he smirks and I groan.
“Lord help us if there’s a mini Jace Collins running around.” I point at him. “As long as they don’t turn out like their mum, you’ll be golden.”
Mum tsks. “Sydney, be nice. Angie’s carrying your nephew.”
“That was me being nice.” To the universe.
Jace huffs a laugh, shaking his head and I bump my knee into his. “Seriously, though. You’re going to be an amazing dad.”
“Had a pretty good role model for the job.” He looks up at our old man in the doorway.
Dad’s jaw ticks and he sniffles. Mum smiles at him and he walks over, placing his hand on her shoulder. “Whatever you need, my boy. We’re here.”
“Thank you.” He glances at me. “All of you.”
My lips tip up. “No more closing in on yourself okay? They say it takes a village.”
His chuckle dies off as his eyes move to the picture and Mum stands. “I can just get rid?—”
“Wait.” Jace cuts her off. “Just put it in the closet for now.”
“Are you sure?”
He nods, eyes frozen on the covered picture. “I’m not ready to fully let go yet.”
“Okay,” she whispers, moving the frame into the closet.
He watches her the entire time and I see the longing in his eyes even when the door closes.
That image plays over in my head as Mum, Dad, and I head home. Jace opted to stay up at the country house—wait, I guess it’s his house now.
After he came home from his race in Hungary, he sat us down, telling us two things. Things with Kinsley had ended. And he was going to be a father.
Apparently his—pardon my French—bitch of an ex had been trying to talk to him for weeks. In his defense, I also wouldn’t give the person I walked in cheating on me any of my time either.
At first, he didn’t believe it.
None of us did.
So, he asked for a DNA test which she surprisingly agreed to.
Two weeks later, we had the results… and a new Collins to go with it.
The revelation rocked his world for the second time in less than three weeks.
But this one had a bitter sweetness to it.
The first one came with heartbreak.
I saw him with Kinsley. I saw what was blooming between them. It was something that comes around once in a lifetime. Which is why I couldn’t understand why she would just disappear on him.
I can’t shake the feeling that if she could, she would be here, right by his side because that’s just who she is. She’s always there for the ones she cares about and damnit, I know she cared for him like no one before.
My heart races as I pick up my phone later that night, everything he said and everything I know playing through my mind. I navigate to my contacts and click on the name I hope will lead to answers.
The phone rings, and I twist my bracelet as nerves flood my body.
“Hello?” She picks up on the fifth ring.
“Lily? It’s Sydney. Can we talk?”