Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
Jess
The upstairs dining room at Serendipity is packed. Not necessarily because there’s so many people here, it’s just a small space and it’s decorated to the nines. I am happy to see some familiar faces, though. Damian and the girls made it. Obviously Brit and Liam are here. May and Ellen immediately find me, taking Eden out of my arms. I spot my (no, not my ) Tommy with Jamie, too.
Brit finds me, all smiles. “What do you think?” She motions to the pink and teal space decked out in disco balls and balloons. A cake, entirely too big for a 1-year-old on a table at the far end, pink wrapped boxes piled high beside it.
“Wow. You did this?” Since when does Brit know how to plan a party?
“No, Liam did. But I supervised!” I roll my eyes. Seriously, they’re sickening. Perfect for each other. They even look like the perfect match, too. (Think like Batman and Barbie.) Liam’s gray-haired, muscly, and decked out in his signature black jeans, gray t-shirt, and Sambas. And then Brit, looks amazing in her sculpted, boat neck Bumpsuit dress with the long mohair cardigan hanging off one shoulder, and heeled midi boots.
It’s like somehow the universe has flipped on its head and we’ve traded places. It’s like I'm seeing a side of her I never knew existed because Liam brings it out in her. He gives her the space and confidence to be the best version of herself. This glammed up version, but also the baggy t-shirt, no makeup version, too. And she deserves that.
“This outfit is serving, Brit.” I motion up and down her body, her bump extra bumpy today.
She leans closer, whispering, “Liam likes me in heels. This is the last time they’ll see the light of day, though.”
“Yessss, queen.” I smile and laugh with her.
“You look great, too, by the way.” She looks down at my Gucci slingbacks, Cami NYC Everly tank tucked into my ripped AGOLDEs (not the coffee-stained ones), and an old fuzzy cardigan. It’s very aughts inspired.
“Hey, happy birthing day.” Liam joins us, offering me a hug. I accept it.
“Babe, it’s weird when you say it,” Brit chastises him.
“We just had a whole talk about this. You said first birthdays are for the moms, not the kids. You said birthdays should really be called birthing days. Did you not?” He looks at her, confused.
“Yeah, no, you’re right. Next time let me say it, though. Happy birthing day!” she exclaims, throwing an arm around me, hugging me tight. I laugh.
“Fuck, they’re supposed to bring out the frozen hot chocolates afte r the food, hold on.” Liam leaves us to manage the party.
“How do I find one like that?” I ask Brit, both of us watching her man walk off.
“I don’t have that answer…but you will find him.” She squeezes my arm. “I’m going to go meet the famous Ellen. Want to come introduce me?” she asks.
I shake my head. “No, you go ahead. I have to say hi to the ex-hubs and his boy toy.” She laughs, then walks off, hardly any waddle to her 8-month gait.
Don’t want to do this, don’t want to do this. “Hi.” Jamie and Tommy both turn to me. “Glad you could both make it.” It feels weird, greeting them like acquaintances.
“Hey!” Jamie says, too much overt cheer in his tone, then reaches for a hug. I allow it. Followed by a weird side hug from Tommy.
“You guys coming over after this?” I think they just got in this morning, otherwise I’m sure they would have come to see Eden before.
“Yeah, if that’s okay.”
“Definitely!” Now I'm the one forcing cheer. An awkward silence descends on us, but doesn’t last long because the hair on the back of my neck stands up. And when I turn around, I see that Alex and…Caleb(?) have just arrived.
I use the excuse of new guests to leave the two men I could really live without being here for the other two men I’m entirely confused about being here.
“Hey!” Alex turns towards my voice, immediately presenting me with a gift bag from FAO Schwartz. Caleb passes me a bag from Byredo .
“I picked out the gift for Eden, Caleb picked out the gift for you. Brit said we were celebrating your accomplishment in birthing today.” Alex’s cheeks go a bit pink. (That’s not fucking awkward at all.) I laugh.
“Great. Entirely unnecessary, but super thoughtful of you both. Thank you!” I take the extended bags and drop them at the gift table where I find that half the gifts are addressed to me, the other half to Eden.
It’s a small party, but all the major players are there: my best friend, my mom, my soon-to-be ex-husband, the guy I might still sort of be in love with. The whole thing lasts two hours, flying by. There’s lots of laughter, lots of oohing and ahhing over Eden’s wobbly attempt at walking. We eat way too much cake, and then it’s time to pack up.
I’m putting the cards in my diaper bag when Alex comes up to me. My heart beats a little faster in his presence, my whole body warms a few degrees, too.
“Hi,” I say. He’s sort of staring at me, something uncertain in his gaze. He’s so beautiful. I know I’ve called him a Chris Hemsworth knockoff, but that’s not true. He’s better than him. I love seeing him not in roughs (he's always dressed like he just got back from a hike), but today he’s in jeans and a long sleeve henley that’s almost too tight. It’s perfect.
“Do you trust me?” he asks, voice lowered and deep. I have to take a second to comprehend. And then, he does something that rocks my world. Seriously, the earth shifts on its axis. Somewhere planets align.
He takes my hand, threading our fingers together. His massive hand swallows mine, and it feels…perfect. I love the way I feel being swallowed by his presence.
“Yes,” I finally manage to croak out. I look at our hands twined together th en back up at him. He squeezes my hand, gets a sad sort of smile on his face, then takes my face in his other hand and places a kiss on my forehead. When he pulls back, I wonder if I’ve died. Why does a forehead kiss from Alex Palomino feel like an instant hit of dopamine?
“Excuse me?” Alex raises his voice, turning me towards the rest of the small dining room to face everyone. “I just wanted to say thanks for coming today, and to my sister and Liam for planning it.” He looks down at me, and I look at him confused. He pulls me into his side, fingers still threaded together.
The natural instinct here would be to look at the faces of the people gathered around, likely all staring at Alex and me now. But I don’t. I’m staring at Alex not knowing what’s coming, but also not caring because he’s acting a certain way towards me that I’ve only dreamed of for years.
“We were going to wait till Christmas, but with everyone here, I think it’s the right time.” He looks at me, then back to everyone else. “Jess and I are getting married.” There’s a collective gasp from the room (and me) and my stomach falls 40 stories. Alex’s hand squeezes around mine. My mouth falls slightly open, but before I can speak — question — anything, he lowers his mouth, placing a sensual kiss on my lips. There’s just a small brush of tongue across my lips, and it finishes with a hand cupping my cheek as he drops one last kiss on the corner of my mouth.
It’s not the passionate, NSFW kiss of last time, but the effect is the same. I’m fucking soaked.
“Alex…” I say softly, surprised to find I’ve absentmindedly placed a hand on his arm that’s holding my cheek. He sort of shushes me .
Talking to everyone else, he says, “Jess wanted to wait,” he redirects his eyes to mine, searing my soul with his next words, “but I don’t want to wait anymore.” The smile that forms on my face is involuntary. (Snapshot title: “Dreams Come True Serendipitously.” )
Alex
She’s good. Not sure how she caught on so quickly, but this is believable. I fucking believe it, and for a moment that scares the shit out of me.
She’s giving me a smile and looking at me like she loves me. Fuck, I wish she did.
I look down at where our hands are threaded together and make a vow to not let her go until we’re walking out of this place together. She wants to talk to her mom? Great, me too. Brit wants a hug? Same. Tommy wants to have a chat? He can go fuck himself.
Before my impromptu announcement, I’d stepped outside for some air because, well, little kid birthday parties still get to me. I know it’s been 13 years, but it’s never gone away completely. Still think about Tally at times like this. But when I entered the vestibule, I overheard Tommy and Jamie standing outside the entrance.
“Hey, just a few more months.” Jamie was consoling Tommy. “Just a few more and then we’ll file a modification to the custody arrangement, and this time next year, Eden will be living with us full time. Second birthday party will be at our house, okay? Eden isn’t even going to remember this time in her life. She’ll remember her life with us, okay?”
I got fucking chills. It was a declaration of war. It felt obvious what needed to happen. It was time. Jess needed top cover, and that's something I can do for her.
I look at the faces all staring at us in varying arrays of shock. Her mom, May, looks confused. Damian is smiling, but not meeting my eyes. My nieces are clapping their hands together in excitement. My sister looks sad. Her fiancé isn’t looking at us, but instead at her. Then there’s Blanks who’s staring at me in a weird sort of awe, like when the last piece of a puzzle gets snapped into place. He’s figuring it out.
And then there’s Tommy, looking red-faced and pissed, hands clenched tight while Jamie is looking between Tommy and Jess trying to understand how this could’ve happened while they were busy playing house in Taiwan. I fucking love that I’ve just thrown their little plan into chaos.
They think they’ve got a lock on custody because they look good on paper. Fuck them. Jess and I will look better. It’s amazing what money can do. I’ll hire the best. I’ll bury them in litigation because my pockets are deeper than theirs. They think they can pick on Jess? They’ve thought wrong.
With our hands still linked, Jess pulls me so that my back is to everyone else and I’m facing her alone.
She whispers, “What is this?”
I whisper back, “Trust me, okay?” I can see her thinking. She searches my face trying to fully understand if she can.
“Okay.” The smallest of smiles shows on her face. That’s my girl . I reward her with a gentle kiss.
May is the first to approach. “Well, this ,” she motions between us, “is a surprise. JJ, care to explain?” JJ ?
Jess looks to me, unsure what to say. Top cover, got it. “When we caught up in Spearhead this summer, it all sort of clicked for us.” I brush a nonexistent piece of hair off her face, noting the way her cheeks splash pink when I do. It makes the blood rush to my groin. “I don’t know if you know, but Jess and I were together. A long time ago. This time it just felt like we were both in the right place at the right time. Finally past all the pit stops and land mines that we’ve been navigating the last five or so years.” I know Tommy can hear me. Felt him moving closer, and that last bit was for him.
You’re a fucking pit stop, bud.
“Well, Jessie, if you’re happy…I’ll be happy for you?” May looks at Jess.
Jess puts on a smile and says, “I’m actually really happy.” She sounds almost surprised. Like she might possibly be quite happy.
“You guys used to be together?” Tommy asks, voice laced with disbelief. His question is directed at Jess, but he needs to get used to going through me now. I position myself slightly in front of her.
“Yeah.” I give him a shit-eating grin. “She’s the love of my life, and I let her go foolishly. Won’t make the mistake again, Tom.” He hates that. Tom . I can feel Jess holding back a laugh, and the warmth I get from pleasing her snakes up my spine, hitting me in the chest.
I won’t give him the satisfaction of having this conversation here, in front of all the people she cares about. Never had any sort of beef with Tommy until he started fucking with Jess. Now it’s easy to spar with him. It’ll be even easier for me to crush him .
“We should probably get a move on. Car’s waiting for us, baby.” Her cheeks turn from pink to crimson. Would have loved having her alone the first time I called her baby. To see what it does to her. Does she turn pink all over? Is she wet? Fuck me .
The car is waiting. I planned and waited till the party was almost over to drop the bomb, then planned for a quick escape. Tactics I can absolutely do. We might not be in a knife fight yet , but psychological warfare, yes. And I can excel here.
I motion for Blanks to start taking gifts and bags down to the car, then look at Jess. I have to let her go so I can get everything in the car, but I squeeze her hand tight for just a second, telling her with my eyes, “Be strong, don’t take any shit.” She nods even though I’m certain she has no idea what just passed between us.
Her mom’s girlfriend moves in, carrying Eden over and when I pass my sister she gives me the cold shoulder. Fuck . I grab a pile of boxes and quickly move them into the trunk of Blanks’ Escalade waiting at the curb.
He’s waiting for me by the trunk.
“So that’s her ?”
“Yeah.”
“You know how to pick em’.” I give him a murderous look. I know he thinks Jess is attractive. Probably hired her on looks alone.
“Find your own ride home,” I tell him, and he scoffs at me.
“That’s fine. I’ll just go to Anya’s. You good here?” He throws a thumb over his shoulder, asking permission.
“Yeah. ”
“K,” Blanks says, then walks away. Don’t do goodbyes. Still.
When I get back to the upstairs dining room, Brit is talking to Jess in a hushed tone. I don’t hear all of it, but I do catch the last part.
“You’re either lying to me, or to yourself, or to my brother. Or all three.” Brit shakes her head, then turns around, her bump bumping into me. She has tears in her eyes and Liam shoulder checks me to get around to her. He pulls her into his side and they leave without a word to anyone else.
Jess looks stricken.
It’ll be alright. Eventually.
May and Ellen pass off Eden, giving quick cheek kisses, and it appears that Damian and the girls have left as well.
That leaves us…and the dads.
“Still coming over?” Jess asks the two of them.
Jamie answers for them both, “Yup.”
“Great,” I say. “We’ll see you there. I’d offer a ride, but we’re overflowing at the moment.” I don’t let Jess make any apologies and they follow us downstairs. We part on the sidewalk as Blanks’ driver starts installing Eden’s carseat into the idling SUV.
“Explain yourself,” Jess demands as soon as Tommy is out of ear shot.
“We’ll talk in the car, okay?” She nods.
While I put the stroller in the trunk, Jess buckles Eden in. As soon as we’re both seated, I ask Jess to tell the driver her address, then I add, “But take the long way, get us lost.” Ari nods in understanding.
Once Eden falls asleep ( only took about two minutes ), Jess turns to face me. We’re seated next to each other and with the carseat o n the other side, her body is forced up against mine. Love it. Her thigh against mine. What I really want is her thighs straddling mine…
“Tommy and Jamie are going after full custody when they move back in a couple months.” Her face falls. I reach out for her hand. “But fuck them. Listen, I can help. I’m going to help.” I inhale, preparing for this next question. “Marry me.” It comes out more a statement than a question, though.
She takes a sharp inhale, but doesn’t say anything.
“Tommy and Jamie might look great on paper in court, but we’ll look better.” She’s still quiet. Her hand is still in mine and it’s not limp.
“Aren’t you engaged?”
“Well, to you, yes.”
“No!” She drops my hand. “To Anya or someone else. Tommy told me like two months ago you were getting married.” She seems slightly upset. That makes me feel some sort of way knowing she was…jealous?
“That’s a long story, but no, he misunderstood.” There’s some understanding dawning on her face.
“Why?” She shakes her head. “Why would you do this…for me? What’s in it for you?” If I’m honest, I’m in it for Jess. To be with her. To get her to finally understand I don’t see her as the runner up, I see her as the championship prize. I see her above all else. If I never loved her, I never could have hated her. How doesn’t she see that?
Instead, what I say is, “Atonement.” She can parse out the meaning from that however she chooses.
She doesn’t love that. Can see it written all over her face.
She turns away from me, facing the windshield, but I don’t. I continu e watching her. The further downtown we drive, the more my blood pressure increases. She’s going to say no. She doesn’t understand what I can offer, does she?
“Jess, I have a lot to offer. I know you probably think I’m just some fucking hiker that lives out of his 35-year-old Jeep, or his buddy’s basement?—”
“Stop,” she interrupts me. “I don’t care. Okay? I’ll do it.” She doesn’t look at me once. “They don’t get to take Eden away from me.” Still staring straight ahead, she says, “We need some rules, but let’s do it.”
All I want is to take her face in my hands and kiss the shit out of her, but I can read the fucking room. Her mind is somewhere else right now. She looks like she’s trying to figure out the quadratic formula while eating a bowl of cereal upside down. There’s that little crease between her eyebrows. Definitely something going on behind the scenes.
“I’m not gonna fuck you over. I promise. Whenever this ends, however it ends, you’ll be better off. I promise.” She will. She can take her trust and do whatever the fuck she wants with it. And in the off chance this works out, I’ll make her the happiest, most well-loved woman on earth.