10. Piper
I usedto love my house. I loved being alone and just sitting down to read, coming home to an empty house that was quiet so I could relax after work, and being in Bozeman.
That was until Lightning showed up. And now hate it all. I hate coming home to an empty house. I hate how quiet the house is, and I hate how the bed still smells like him.
I used to look forward to my weekends when I would clean the house, do the laundry, sit down and read, or maybe go out to a festival. But now, since I had plans with Lightning that are not going to happen, including spending an entire day in bed together, it just feels like the walls of my townhouse are closing in on me.
I sit down to try to read my book, but after thirty minutes, I”m still staring at the same page, and the only face that I can see is Lightning’s.
I”m so lost in thoughts about that moment he said he loved me, that I nearly jump out of my skin when my phone rings. I scramble to pick it up off the coffee table, hoping it”s him. I’m hoping so hard that when I see that it”s my mom calling, I”m almost disappointed.
“Hey Mom,” I answer the phone.
“Hey baby, do you have time to talk?” she asks, and I instantly feel guilty.
She called earlier in the week when Lightning was still here, and she heard him in the background. She was all excited that I had a new man in my life and said that she would call back later. I promised to call her when I had a few minutes to talk, but I never did.
“All the time in the world for you, Mom,” I say, and she just chuckles.
“I was just calling to check in on you. It”s been a little while since we talked, and I”m sure you know I”m all excited to hear about your new man. It”s been killing me waiting for you to call, and I just couldn”t wait anymore,” she says. Even though I can hear the smile on her face, I still feel guilty about not calling her back.
“There is no new man, Mom, not anymore,” I say, hoping she”ll drop it, but knowing my mom, she won”t.
“Oh no, sweetheart. What happened? You seemed so happy,” she says with genuine concern in her voice.
“He wanted more than I could give,” I tell her, not really wanting to get into it.
“You know, sweetheart, I really worry about you. I tend to get some version of that for every reason that there”s a breakup. Now, I never met Lightning, but I’ve never heard you as happy as you were when I talked to you that day on the phone. I hate to think that you might be letting what happened with your father affect your relationships,” she says softly.
“Mom, I watched you fall apart after Dad died. You lost the house, and everything turned upside down. I can”t put myself through that. Lightning is in a motorcycle club that is in a dangerous situation right now protecting the town,” I tell her. I’m cringing, already giving away more than I wanted to.
“You were so young when your dad died. I didn”t lose the house. I sold it because I couldn”t bear to live there with all the memories of your dad. Yes, I was sad, and it broke my heart when your dad died, but I loved every minute I had with him. He gave me you, and he helped me realize who I really wanted to be, so by the time I met your stepdad, I knew who I really was. I wouldn”t trade a moment of that for anything, and I would do it all over again knowing the outcome.”
“But would you really? Knowing all the heartache and the pain that came following his death, you”d really do it all over again?” I ask, trying to make sense of her words.
“Absolutely. Your father was one-hundred percent my soulmate, and I can”t imagine not having the time I did with him. I really hope all this hasn”t stopped you from opening up your heart and letting people in, because you can’t have love without the hurt that comes with it. Open up your heart to those around you. Otherwise, you are going to miss out, and I do not want that for you,” my mom says.
“So, is George not your soulmate?” I ask about my stepdad.
“I think some of us in life are blessed with two soulmates, so yes, I do believe he is my soulmate, but he is definitely a different kind of soulmate. He was the one to heal my heart and put me back together, the one who will take care of me as we get older. Your dad was the soulmate who taught me how to live and how to love. I couldn”t have one without the other,” she says, and I truly think about her words.
After all, wasn”t it Tennyson who said, ‘It”s better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all’? That phrase is growing up, but you never truly understand it until you”ve seen someone actually live through it.
Suddenly, there”s no place I”d rather be than Mustang Mountain. It”s clear as day that my heart is not blocked anymore, and if Lightning is walking into a dangerous situation, I want to be there and have what time I can with him. Hell, maybe I can even stop him from making a dumb decision. He left yesterday morning, and I just let him go. Hopefully, he hasn”t done anything stupid by now.
“Mom, I need to let you go. It looks like I”m heading to Mustang Mountain. I might have a new address for you soon, too. If I haven’t messed it up too much,” I tell her as I stand up and grab a suitcase from my closet to start packing.
“Baby, if it”s true love, distance will not stop it. It doesn”t matter if it”s been a day, a week, a month, or a year. He will be ecstatic to see you. Let me know what”s going on and whether you are safe or if you just need to talk. Just call more, please. I can”t wait to meet Lightning. We will plan a trip out there soon, okay?” she says as I”m shoving clothes into my suitcase.
“I very much like it. I think you and George would both love it out here.”
“I”m sure we would, baby. Now go get your man and drive safe. I love you.”
“I love you too, Mom. Talk to you soon.”
As soon as I get off the phone with my mom, I call my boss and tell him that I will be using up all of my PTO and sick days because I will be out of town on emergency family business. He tries to get the details from me, but I tell him that I don”t have time to talk about it, and that I was just giving him a heads up that I won’t be there.
I”ve worked my butt off since college, and I have roughly four weeks of PTO and sick leave saved up. Hopefully, I will have a plan in place by then.
In less than an hour, I have packed four suitcases and loaded them in my car, along with my laptop, a stack of books, and anything else I might need in the next few weeks.
I even packed my blanket, which I love to snuggle up with and read with on the couch. As I pull out of Bozeman, heading north toward Mustang Mountain, I start to second-guess myself. So, I pick up the phone and call my cousin Addy.
“Hey, are you okay?” she asks as soon as she picks up the phone.
“I think I screwed up,” I tell her. Her silence on the line for a few seconds tells me she agrees. Then, there”s some shuffling and the sound of a door closing.
“What happened? Tell me what is going on, and I will help you fix it,” she says.
I take a deep breath and tell her everything that happened with Lightning while he was here, and how I screwed it all up.
“So, I guess my only question is, do you love him?” Addy asks, and then she waits for my answer.
“Yeah, I do,” I tell her. A huge smile crosses my face because I truly admit it to myself for the first time. I’m in love with Lightning. That admission makes me feel like everything is falling into place.
“Then my next question is, what are you going to do about it?” she asks.
“I already have my car packed, and I”m on my way there now, but I guess I was just second-guessing myself. Is he there? Is he okay?”
“He came in after they worked with troopers to arrest Snake Eyes, went right to his room, and no one”s really heard from him. Physically, he”s fine, but I think emotionally he”s heartbroken,” she tells me without an ounce of judgment in her voice, which I absolutely love from her.
“Well, it”s my goal to fix that. Can you make sure he doesn”t leave the clubhouse? I”m on my way, and I”m going to head straight there,” I tell her, knowing she will help me.
“Just let me know as you”re getting closer and drive safely. Call if you need anything,” she says, and her mood is already picking up. I can tell she”s smiling, and I hope she can tell I am, too.
I crank up the music and the drive to Mustang Mountain seems to pass in a blur. As I pull up to the gates of the Mustang Mountain Riders Clubhouse, my heart is racing, but I break into a huge smile when I see Juice standing at the front gate. I roll down my window as he leans in and smiles at me.
“You here to see Lightning?” he asks.
“Well, I”m certainly not here not to lick shots off your abs,” I say with a huge smile.
He groans.
“Not you, too,” he says, stepping back from my car.
“Sorry, I was there when we found that juicy piece of information,” I say as he starts to open the gate.
“Yeah, well, thanks to your boyfriend and his brother, it”s all over the clubhouse already,” he says.
I pull through the gate with the word “boyfriend” ringing around in my head. I hope he still wants me. I park my car and don’t even get up to the front door before Addy runs out and hugs me.
“He”s still in his room, and we”ll talk later. Did you bring any bags?” she says, looking at my purse in my hands.
“My car is full, but I don”t know if he”s going to want me to stay or not, so I figure I”ll wait till after I talk to him,” I tell her honestly.
“Fuck that. You”re here as my guest. Stone will get your stuff out of the car. Just let us know if it needs to go to Lightning”s room or our room. Now go,” she says.
I smile, take a deep breath, and head upstairs, pausing just outside Lightning”s room. I knock on the door awkwardly and listen to see if I can hear him on the other side. There”s no noise, so I knock again.
“Damn it, Thunder, just leave me alone,” he grumbles from the other side, but still doesn”t open the door.
“Not Thunder,” I say. The room is quiet for a moment before footsteps come closer and the door opens.
Lightning stands there staring at me with wide eyes in complete disbelief, and I don”t blame him.
“Can we talk?” I ask, not really wanting to do this in the hallway for anyone to see and hear. If he”s going to reject me, I”d rather he do it in private.
He steps back and motions for me to step inside before closing the door behind us.
“I never should have let you walk away like that yesterday,” I tell him before he gets a chance to say anything. His eyes snap to mine.
“I talked with my mom, and she said some things that really resonated with me, but also made me realize that I was so young when my dad died that my perception of things versus what actually happened is a bit off. That warped perception has been causing me to push people away, and for that, I”m sorry,” I tell him.
He takes a hesitant step toward me. We”re close enough that I can reach out and touch him, but I”m still scared.
“Piper...” he starts, and I just shake my head because I know if I don”t get all this out now, I never will.
“I shouldn”t have let you walk out like that yesterday. I should have told you that I love you too, and I shouldn”t have hesitated about coming with you. Before I met you, I loved my life in Bozeman, but now I can”t stand to be there without you. My car is packed, and this is where I want to be if you”ll still have me,” I say, choking back tears that threaten to overflow.
“Are you kidding?” he says, and my heart sinks. “If I’ll have you?” he says, reaching out and wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling my body against his. “I would have waited years for you. Of course, I want you, I love you, and I’d have waited a lifetime for you if that”s what it took.”
He leans in, and his lips meet mine in an intense kiss that seems to say everything that we feel for each other.
“Well, I bet you”re glad it only took me a day to come to my senses and not a lifetime,” I awkwardly joke, pulling apart to catch my breath.
He rests his forehead on mine before bringing his hand up to my face and pulling me into another kiss.
“You know I”m going to marry you, right?” he says this time when we pull away.
“I was hoping you would,” I say, and the most beautiful smile crosses his face.
“You can count on it. I”m going to tie you to me in every way possible,” he says before picking me up and throwing me on the bed.
“Now let”s find out if this makeup sex is as good as everyone claims it is,” he says before climbing onto the bed over me.
“If it is, you’d better not start fights just for makeup sex. I won”t put up with that,” I say, wagging my finger in his face.
He just smiles, and I know by the way he”s looking at me that I am in for a wild ride. I wouldn”t have it any other way.