July 16, Thursday
I was less nervous this time about sitting in the witness stand, but since I was the first juror called, I didn't know what to expect in the line of questioning.
When I was settled, the judge gave me a warm smile. "I'd like to ask you about leadership. Would you describe yourself as someone who tends to take charge in group situations, or do you prefer to follow someone else's lead?"
I opened my mouth to say the modest, reasonable thing, then I stopped myself.
"Both, depending on the situation," I said.
"If someone in the room knows more or has more experience than I do, I'll follow their lead and ask questions.
But if nobody's steering and something needs to happen, I'll step up. "
A beat of silence. The lead prosecutor—sharp, no-nonsense, who had not smiled once in my observation—wrote something down.
"How do you handle conflict?" the judge continued.
"I try to understand what everyone actually needs, as opposed to what they say they want, which in my experience are often two different things.
Then I look for an outcome that gets most people most of what they need.
" I considered. "Also, sometimes people just need to be heard before they can move forward.
Jumping to solutions without listening tends to make things worse. "
More writing from the prosecution table.
"And when you've gathered information and need to make a decision," the judge said, "how do you approach that?"
"I try not to make permanent decisions under temporary pressure," I offered. "And I try to be honest about when I don't have enough information yet, rather than guessing and committing to the guess."
Both attorneys were making notes.
I was thanked and sent back to my seat. Out of pure reflex, I glanced toward the back wall.
The deputy was watching me with an expression I hadn't seen before—approval?
Not that his approval meant anything to me.
I picked up my knitting and passed the rest of the day making more of the prosthetics for my beloved cause. I'd be able to submit more than my usual number of items for the month, so at least one good thing would come from my short stint as a prospective juror.
At the end of the session, the judge called more juror numbers to dismiss. I braced myself to hear 247.
But it wasn't among them.