Chapter 6
“We never expected Brittany M. to end up with Mikey!” Maggie exclaims. “It seemed so clear that he wasn’t there for the right reasons.”
I smile, every muscle in my body relaxed and loose. “He’s not such a bad guy,” I say. “And this is a secret right now, but he’s planning to propose soon.”
“No!”
“Yes! We’re going to fly them out and film the whole thing next season.
” It’s one of my favorite parts of working on the show.
Despite what people may think, many of the contestants do genuinely find love.
I’ve attended dozens of weddings of couples who would never have met if not for the show. Some of them even have kids now.
“Well, your dad and I will be watching it,” Maggie says.
The room tilts a bit, and I lean back against the wall, trying to get my footing.
Maggie puts a hand on my arm. “You feeling okay?”
I nod. I switched to water a few minutes ago, having recognized that I’d overdone it, but I’m not quite back to normal yet.
“I’ll be fine,” I say.
She smiles, patting my arm, and there’s something so naturally maternal about the gesture. It makes me miss my mom.
I should call her once I’ve sobered up.
“I know it couldn’t have been easy,” Maggie says, “but I’m so thankful you decided to come. It means a lot to me. And your father.”
“Oh. No, of course. I’m glad I could be here.” It’s a lie, but how else can I respond right now?
Maggie’s brown eyes are wide and guileless, her expression deeply earnest. And I like her.
She seems lovely, and I understand why all these people here want her to be happy.
I can’t imagine the kind of loss she’s experienced.
She deserves to not be alone anymore. To have love and partnership in her life.
I just don’t understand why anyone, including Maggie, would think my father could provide that.
“Your father’s told me…I understand that things haven’t always been easy between the two of you.”
I snort, then lift a hand to cover my mouth. “Sorry,” I say. “It’s just that—No. I wouldn’t call it easy.”
Maggie smiles gently. “I know. And that makes the fact that you decided to be here mean even more.” She’s quiet for a beat.
“I don’t know what your father was like years ago.
I only know what he’s like now. He’s a little reserved and hard to get to know, but once you do, if you decide to, I think you’ll find that he’s a good man. He’s…he’s wonderful, really.”
I bristle, but force myself to respond pleasantly. “I understand why you would say that. You’re getting married to him, after all.”
She looks at me intently. “No, Neelu, I really mean…I think if you take the time to get to know him—”
I pull my arm back, and the movement sends the room spinning again. “Thanks,” I say. “But I know him.”
“It’s only that he misses you. And if the two of you could just talk—”
“He misses me?” The words fly out of my mouth. “In what world does he miss me? We barely speak. He hasn’t tried to see me in years. He doesn’t get to miss me.”
Maggie flinches, but I continue. She’s got the wrong impression of my dad, and I need to set her straight. I can’t have her ending up like my mother. Like me.
“I know he can say and do the right things sometimes. But when it involves the things that matter, he doesn’t follow through.
” He asked my mother to send me to Scotland all those years ago, he told me he wanted to spend time with me, but once I showed up?
Nothing. He was physically there, but emotionally, he wasn’t present at all.
“He’ll show up to the wedding,” I say. “He’ll get married.
But after?” My head swims, and I close my eyes.
I shouldn’t be saying any of this. I didn’t intend to.
It just all came rushing out. “I don’t know.
Don’t listen to me. I don’t know what I’m talking about.
” My words slur together a bit. “Just because he left us, that doesn’t mean he’ll leave you. ”
Maggie’s breath catches. “He left you?” she says, a bit stunned.
I open my eyes and tilt my head, but it’s the wrong move.
I lose my balance for a moment, but quickly right myself.
“Yes?” I say, a little confused. “I mean, I suppose if we want to play around with semantics, he stayed and we left, but I was a kid. It wasn’t like I had a choice.
And even after all of that, he basically…
left me alone.” I pause. “But it doesn’t matter. Just ignore me. I—”
She takes a step back, her eyes growing misty. “I’m sorry. I need to—”
“Maggie,” I say, starting to follow her, but I wobble again.
I almost fall, but someone steadies me, a warm hand cupped around my elbow, another at my back.
“Thanks, but I—” I turn to find Jacob, his face thunderous. And it’s not fair that anger can look this attractive on him. His full lips are pursed, his eyes bright and dangerous, his thick, dark brows pulled tautly together.
He looked similar last night. His face above mine. Intense and utterly focused on me.
“I need to talk to her, and ex”—I hiccup—“explain what I meant—I didn’t mean to upset her.”
His hand tightens around my elbow. “You’ve done enough.”
“Let me go,” I say, wrestling my arm out of his grasp. I take a few unsteady steps forward, but the crowd’s winding down. People are leaving. And I don’t see Maggie, or my father, anywhere.
I head toward the exit, but I can feel Jacob hovering behind me, close on my heels.
I walk faster, pushing open the heavy door, shivering at the cool burst of evening air.
I pull out my phone and tap toward my rideshare app, but my vision is blurred, the tears I suppressed earlier breaking through.
“I’m calling you a cab,” Jacob says, his voice deep, and it makes the tears come faster. I’m too tipsy for this. I want to go home.
“Don’t be nice to me,” I say.
“I’m not.” He’s quiet for a moment, standing beside me, looking out onto the street. “This weekend means a lot to Maggie. To your dad. And I’m not going to let you ruin it.”
“I’m not going to—” A sob rises in my throat. “I’m not going to ruin it.” I step away. “I’ll find my own way to the hotel. Just leave me alone.”
“No,” he grits out between his teeth. “I need you to get back safely.” I turn to look at him, but it’s too dark outside to read his face.
My heart thuds.
I don’t understand him. This hot-and-cold thing he’s doing. He was so honest, so transparent last night, and now he’s in shadows.
“Why do you care?” I ask him, challenging.
“Because I need you to show up tomorrow.” He steps toward me, erasing the distance. “You’re going to drink some water, and go to sleep, and get to the wedding on time. You’re not going to say anything that upsets Maggie, or your father, and then you’re going to fly back home.”
His next words are quiet, muttered under his breath, but it sounds a lot like, “Where you belong.”
A tear spills down my cheek just as a car arrives, stopping in front of us. He maneuvers me to it, helping me inside.
Last night, I felt like this man saw me, understood me. He opened something, pulled out pieces of me that had been buried for a long time. But now…
“I don’t understand why you hate me,” I say. “I don’t understand what I did to make you hate me.”
Jacob goes still. A streetlight catches my face, blinding me for a second, and when my vision returns, he looks stricken, conflicted. But then his expression shutters.
He rattles off the name of my hotel to the driver, then ducks low, clicking my seat belt for me.
“Don’t be late tomorrow,” he says, shutting the car door.
I watch him through the window as the car pulls away, taking me back to my hotel room. Alone.