Chapter 9
NINE
TRAVIS
“Santa is here?” Casey echoed from the passenger seat. His eyes lit up in excitement and he bounced up and down until I wasn’t sure if he was going to take off out the window.
“Yep, and some elves too. Should we park and go inside?”
Casey gave a small nod eagerly, and I hurried to find a parking space. After I turned off the ignition, he reached across the seat and took my hand. “If I forget to say it later, I had a really good time tonight.”
He squeezed my fingers before lacing them with his. I squeezed back. “If I forget to mention it later, thanks for coming with me tonight. I had a really good time.” We grinned at each other for a minute or two before the interior light shut off.
“I guess that’s my cue to get a move on. Hold on, and I’ll come get you.” I rushed out of my side and came around to his.
Casey waited like I asked. He hadn’t even taken off his seatbelt. He was a fully competent adult, but I still liked that he let me do things for him when he was in little space.
He slipped his hand into mine once we were out of the car, and we walked into the barn together.
Just like in the drive-through, lights twinkled everywhere.
A giant tree at least twenty feet high stood in the center.
It was decorated with lights in red, green, blue, yellow, and a few purple ones.
In front of the tree, Santa Claus and his elves listened to wishes and handed out small gifts while people waited in line.
A few stations around the room offered hot cocoa or a place to create a photo frame.
“What should we do first?” I asked.
“Since the line isn’t too long, do you think it’d be okay if we saw Santa?” Casey sounded unsure of himself, like he thought I might find it silly. That was absurd. I was a Daddy. I wanted to find all the silliness and hand it to him on a silver platter.
“It’s always the right time to see Santa,” I said.
We made our way to the line and waited for our turn. Before long, we were at the front. Santa beckoned us over. Casey looked at me, and I encouraged him with a quick nod. Santa gave him a warm smile.
“Ho, ho, ho, I always like it when the big kids come visit me,” Santa said with a wide smile. “Christmas is for everyone.”
“We were just being silly,” Casey deflected.
“The world needs a little silly. What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”
“I don’t think it’ll fit in your sack, Santa, so I guess I’ll ask for some LEGO instead.”
I wasn’t sure if Casey wanted me to hear what he told Santa, so I pretended to study the Christmas tree. When he shot me a quick look, I knew he didn’t want me listening, but it was hard to tune him out with him right there.
“If I’m gonna dream big, then I’m gonna ask for a food truck.”
“Well, son, you’re right about that not fitting in my sack, but I can talk to the elves and see what we can do,” Santa said with a conspiratorial wink. Then he turned to me. “And what can Santa bring you?”
I thought for a moment. “I think I’ve got everything I want right in front of me. If you could use your magic on my friend’s wish, that’d be all right with me.”
“Well,” Santa said, “I’m not sure I can do his wish, but I’m sure gonna try.”
“Thank you, Santa,” Casey said sweetly.
“Gentlemen, would you like your picture taken with Santa before you go?” one of the elves asked.
“Yes, please,” I said before Casey could even think about saying no.
Santa beckoned us back over, and we stood on either side of him.
Seeing the happiness on Casey’s face settled something in me.
He was the boy I wanted to explore this with.
Watching the wonder on his face as we drove through the lights and seeing how excited he was to visit Santa warmed parts of me I’d never felt before.
Dating someone was one thing. Being the one who got to cuddle them, protect them, and take care of them was something completely different.
It made me want to be the best version of myself.
Maybe that was something I hadn’t given in my marriage.
That ship had sailed, and it was for the best, but a small part of me still wondered.
If I’d recognized this need in myself earlier, would the marriage have survived, or would it have ended the same way?
I was so lost in my head that I didn’t hear what Casey said as we stepped away from the Santa area.
“Daddy?” Casey whispered.
Dammit. Whatever he’d said, I’d missed it completely. I forced myself to stop drifting into thoughts that didn’t matter tonight and focus on the boy in front of me, who mattered a hell of a lot more than my navel gazing.
“I’m sorry, but I missed that last part. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted to go make some arts and crafts with me. Do you?”
“Only if I can get a hot chocolate to drink while we do it.” Casey giggled and nodded. “Well then, I’m all in.”
Casey grabbed my hand and led me through the barn to the hot cocoa section, where he ordered for both of us, making sure that there was plenty of whipped cream, sprinkles, and marshmallows.
I didn’t have the heart to tell him it was way too sweet for me because he sounded so proud when he ordered for both of us, so I just smiled and kept my grimace over the sweetness to myself.
When we made our way over to the arts and crafts section, there was a little table off to the corner that afforded us some privacy while we worked on our masterpieces.
We both seemed to have the same idea as to how we should make our frames.
They were decorated with presents, snowflakes, snowpeople, and every other winter holiday motif we could find on the table.
By the time they were done, it looked like a toy store explosion had attached itself to our frames, but I still liked it.
I held mine up so Casey could critique it for me. “What do you think?” Casey studied it with all the attention he could muster. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was about to launch into a university critique on its artistic merit.
“I think it’s the bestest one here,” Casey offered.
“Well, that’s not possible because yours is the best one here, but I’m happy to take second place.” I pulled out our Santa photos and attached one to each of the frames.
“Perfect. This is gonna look so good on my fridge.”
“You want a picture of us on your fridge?” Casey asked.
“Do you know what three things I know for certain?” Casey shook his head, so I continued, “I’ll always root for the Rainiers. Poutine is the greatest thing besides hockey that ever came out of Canada, and third, I won’t ever not want a picture of you on my fridge.”
“Daddy, stop,” Casey said with the cutest giggle.
When he stood on his tiptoes and kissed my cheek, I was the one who almost swooned. He dropped back down, but I wasn’t going to bother resisting temptation. I followed him and pressed a quick kiss to his parted lips. His soft sigh shot straight to my cock.
I loved that Casey was a mass of juxtapositions and contradictions. He was a gym bro with a soft little side. He was ready to break his back working and a wonder in the kitchen with a delicate touch. And the giggle? Fucking adorable.
There was no damn way I would let him slip through my fingers.
Travis
Up for a playdate?
Casey
You’re a boy now?
Nope, but if littles need downtime to feel good, then Daddies should get the same.
Oh shoot, I didn’t mean to be ugly about it.
I’m gonna stop you right there.
It was a joke, and I know it.
It definitely was.
Moving on. How about that playdate?
Happily. When are you free?
Sunday?
Works for me.
Your place with toys?
Mine without?
Or we bring some of yours over?
I’m good with any spot, but I don’t really have toys.
What? None?
I move around so much that it doesn’t really make sense. I have a few things though. Your place is fine.
Are you using me for my bubble bath?
Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaybe.
Good.
And cool. Ten okay? Can we grab some brunch-type food too?
Is that gonna be the date part of the playdate?
Hell yes. I’ll pick you up.
“I need to stop for a few things, if that’s okay,” I said to Casey as we settled in my car.
Almost on instinct, I reached over and fastened his seatbelt, double-checking the latch.
I liked that he let me do it without giving me a funny look.
It made me feel like his Daddy, and that was exactly what I wanted to be.
“Yeah, that’s totally fine. What did you need to get?”
Since everything on my list was for him, I wasn’t sure how to answer. Deflecting felt like the safest move.
“Just a few odds and ends. Are you hungry for anything in particular?”
“Nah, I’m not picky.”
“Is breakfast food okay?”
“For sure. It’s always the right time for bacon.”
I shot him a smile, put the car in gear, and pulled out of his apartment parking lot.
Once we were on the road, I grabbed his hand, laced our fingers, and rested them on my thigh.
It felt natural to keep his hand in mine.
It calmed something in me that had been missing for a long time—something I’d known needed filling but hadn’t figured out how to reach.
Casey felt like the missing piece I’d been searching for.
But I wasn’t foolish enough to think Casey would take one look at me and suddenly decide his need to move, wander, and chase the next adventure would vanish.
If I wanted him in my life, I needed to give him a reason to stay that went beyond friendship.
He had plenty of friends. I had to prove I could be the Daddy he’d been searching for because that was the only way I’d keep him here—and I wanted him here more than I was willing to admit.