Chapter 10
TEN
CASEY
“I’m sorry, what?”
Whatever I thought Travis was going to say, no part of me expected Daddy to say that.
It wasn’t that I didn’t want him to. I definitely did.
But I’d gotten the impression he was still looking for something, and I was more of a side project.
Different from a side piece, but not the main dish either.
Oh Lord, I had to be hungry if I was mixing metaphors like that.
“I was hoping we could have some clear structure between us,” he said.
I studied Travis’s face. He looked sincere and open. As much as I tried to be optimistic for other people, I couldn’t keep the same energy for myself. I always assumed the worst was coming, and this felt no different.
Maybe that was why he’d wanted to go to the other side of town instead of our usual spots. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who’d give bad news in public just to avoid a scene, but my brain wasn’t exactly helping. He’d said he needed to run errands. That was all.
I told myself not to read into it, but part of me still worried he was buying time to rethink all of this.
I took myself firmly in hand and gave a mental shake. I told myself I wasn’t going to borrow trouble this time. I’d hear him out before jumping to conclusions. It took effort, but I sat on my hands, nodded for him to keep going, and waited.
He took a slow breath and said, “I’d like for us to keep exploring the Daddy-boy dynamic.”
Oh. That wasn’t what I thought he was going to say.
“I want us to keep doing what I hope we’re going to do this afternoon, and I don’t want us doing it with anyone else.”
He wasn’t asking me to stay forever. He wasn’t asking me to be his boyfriend. He wasn’t even asking me to be his permanent boy. He was asking for temporary exclusivity. And I didn’t know what to think about that yet, so I stayed quiet and gave myself a moment to think about it.
I wasn’t itchy or even twitchy at the idea. Normally, whenever the suggestion was made to settle in and put down some roots, I immediately needed to move. My skin got tingly. My feet wanted to move. But there was…nothing? Yeah, nothing. I felt fine.
Feeling calm instead of cornered felt new, like a door I usually kept locked had been nudged open.
That was strange. It was different. Kinda weird for me, but it was all right. Every instinct screamed for me to accept the chance to have that one-on-one Daddy experience I’d wanted since I had discovered I enjoyed being little.
“Yeah?” Daddy confirmed with a wide smile.
His light-brown eyes sparkled like a flame dancing from a candle. I liked how Daddy wasn’t afraid to show his emotions. If he was interested, happy, or excited. He didn’t make me guess what he was thinking or how he felt about something.
“Well, now I don’t know what to say.” I lifted my shoulders kinda awkwardly, but it was the truth. What did we do now?
“The Daddies hammered into my head that safewords matter. Do you have one?”
I gulped down the coffee I’d just drank and nodded my head. “Yeah, it’s watermelon. Cool with that?”
“It’s fine, but out of curiosity, why watermelon?”
“Because I hate it.”
Daddy gasped in pretend horror at my revelation. “What kind of person hates watermelon? It’s sweet and juicy and delicious. It’s the best summertime treat.”
“And gross. You forgot a part…it tastes like crunchy water.”
Our pseudo argument was interrupted by the server with our brunch. The steaming plates stopped both of us in our tracks. The biscuits smelled delicious, and we both stared at the size of them.
“Here you go and enjoy.” After promising a refill for our coffees, the server silently slipped away and we returned to our private world.
“Safewords, check,” Daddy said with a wave of his fork.
Then, because he saw me eyeing his plate, he loaded up his fork and reached across the table to feed me a bite. When he used his thumb to catch some stray gravy and then feed that to me too, my stomach flip-flopped like I’d taken that first drop on a roller coaster.
They’ve always been my fav.
“Whoop, whoop. Okay, we’ve got that done. Anything else we need to check in on?” I asked. It was hard to focus on anything when my food tasted that good. “Do you wanna try a bite, Daddy?”
He gave a small nod eagerly, and like he’d done with me, I fed him off my fork. “Open up for the choo-choo train.” I felt a little silly feeding my Daddy, but his eyes lit up when I offered, and I think he liked the role reversal for a second.
It had never been on my must-have list that my Daddy actively played with me, but now that I’d seen what it could feel like, I couldn’t imagine not having it.
I didn’t want a Daddy who only watched me play.
I wanted one who got down and played with me.
He didn’t need to pretend, but I loved how secure and grounded it made me feel when he joined me in the silliness, even if it was just sharing bites off a fork.
“Maybe we lay down some…let’s call them agreements,” Daddy said with a wave of his fork and another offered bite, which I happily accepted. I tried to give him one of mine, but he shook his head.
“Okay, lay it on me,” I said. “But if it involves checking in twenty-seven thousand times a day, we’re not gonna be able to do that.”
“I was only gonna ask for twenty-six thousand,” Daddy protested. “Is that too much?”
“Maybe just a little.”
“I’m gonna need you to be a little less clingy, bub.
I already need my space.” I couldn’t help giggling at how ridiculous he was.
“But seriously, I do like it when the person I’m with checks in sometimes.
It makes my day better. But I also know you like your space, so I don’t want you to feel like I’m crowding you. ”
“I don’t think the occasional check-in is gonna send me running for the hills.”
“That’s good to know, but if it ever does make you wanna run for the hills, if you could just give me a heads-up, that’d be great.”
“Deal. Anything else?”
“Yeah, just one thing. I know we have a safeword, but if something’s bothering you or I’m doing something that makes you feel some kind of way, I need you to tell me. I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m gonna try really hard to be what you need.” The sincerity in his voice pulled at my heart.
I couldn’t remember a time when someone I dated, slept with, or played with cared this much about my feelings and needs.
And I knew why. Every time, I shoved what I wanted aside to give them what I thought they wanted.
Then, when it fell apart, I acted surprised even though I’d given everything except myself, which was the one thing they actually wanted. Rinse and repeat.
I didn’t want to do that again. If I had a chance, for as long as I was still here, to have the Daddy I wanted, then I wanted the full experience. No hidden agendas. No shrinking myself because I was scared of being too much or not enough. I wanted the real thing. The authentic thing.
“I really like it when you play with me. Can you keep doing that?”
“Yeah, happily.”
That settled, we returned to focus on the plates.
I finished before Daddy, and my attention zeroed in on the kitchen again.
They worked with such efficiency that I found myself trying to follow their patterns.
Off to the back, a few of them were working hard rolling out the biscuits.
It wasn’t a surprise that everything was made in-house.
There was no way Barrett would use frozen anything in his restaurants. His brand was fresh and in-house.
My evening in the bar’s kitchen wasn’t quite as fresh, but I’d enjoyed it a lot.
Since I’d been hired as a barback, I hadn’t had a chance to get back in there.
My time was pretty short there anyway. It wasn’t my place to tell Daddy I thought his kitchen was lacking, and there was so much else he could do with the kitchen than what he was doing. But there totally was.
“Are you ready for part two?” Daddy asked as we stepped outside the restaurant.
“Yep. Where are we going now?”
“If it’s all right with you, I’m gonna keep it a surprise a little longer.”
Daddy offered his hand and led me back out of the alleyway.
Instead of turning left toward the car, we turned right and headed deeper into the pedestrian zone.
We followed the cobblestone sidewalks, looking in the decorated windows and the twinkle lights overhead.
Every so often, there was a decorated fir tree set up in different motifs in the planters along the way.
At first, I thought we were lost, but finally he pulled me to one side and stopped in front of two wooden double doors.
If I didn’t know better, I would have sworn they were two stories high.
They were probably closer to ten feet, which felt the same to me.
I glanced at the name on the sign, then up at Daddy, then back again. “This is your errand?”
“It is. How can you have a playdate if you don’t have any toys? That’s not going to work at all.”
I took a breath and steadied myself. As much as I appreciated him wanting to buy me a toy or two, I didn’t want him to feel taken advantage of. His net worth was a whole lot more than mine would ever be, and I never wanted there to be a question about why I was interested in him.
“I’m not sure I’m okay with you spending money. I have to tell you, there’s nothing I can afford in Mercer City.”
“I appreciate that you’re worried about my finances, but let me tell you now, we’re gonna be fine.”
“I know, but I don’t want you thinking I’m taking advantage of you.”
Daddy looked at me like I had lost my mind, but it mattered to me. Maybe money didn’t matter to him, but that was only because he had it. I wanted him to know where I was coming from. I wasn’t here for his wallet.
“Aren’t you the guy who was just trying to argue with me about who was paying for breakfast? You, right? The one who said that since I drove, you should buy breakfast?”
“That was me.”