Chapter 10
“Why?” My voice breaks on the word, proving I’m not as in control as I thought.
I’m leaning, palms braced on the wooden railing of Penny’s porch, so overcome with this news I’m shaking.
The thought of Jo, living here all this time without me, raising our child feels monumentally wrong.
How on earth will I make up for all the time I’ve lost?
So much to account for, so much catching up to do—that is, if she’ll let me.
Showing up like this, years too late, fills me with regret, an ache forming deep within my chest.
Jo’s breathing, uneven and shaky, leaves her with no response.
Spinning to face her, I take her hand in mine. The truth is right here, plain as day between us, but so I know I’m not jumping to conclusions or wishing for things that aren’t there, I have to ask.
“Abby’s my daughter, isn’t she?”
Jo’s eyes bounce from my hand to my face. Her throat works on a swallow and she nods.
“Why, Jo? Tell me why, when I took you home the other day, this wasn’t the first thing you told me? Don’t I deserve to know something like this?”
She takes a breath and lets it out slowly, a general air of despondence swirling around her.
“Did you plan on telling me?”
“Yes, I was just…” Her words trail off and she squeezes her eyes shut like she’s warring with her thoughts. We sit in silence, Jo taking steadying breaths. When her eyes open again something has changed, a decision made. “I’m scared, Tyler? Terrified, actually.”
My face screws into a frown. “Scared of what, exactly?”
Jo steps closer, leaning her back against the porch railing, staring straight ahead.
The sigh she releases sounds like it comes from the depths of her soul, and all the frustration I was feeling dissipates, replaced by the urge to reach for her, to say something that will unravel whatever knot she’s tying inside her mind.
Whatever’s going on in there, I want nothing more than to put her mind at ease, to work through this together. Surely we can figure this out.
“Tyler,” she begins, voice so small I can scarcely believe it’s coming from the woman next to me. “People don’t stick around for me. You’ll see. I’ll ruin this for Abby.”
It takes a few seconds for my mind to catch up to her meaning, but when it does, I can only stare in disbelief. She thinks I’m the kind of man who would up and leave my child?
“Jo,” I say, pitching my voice softer, willing her to hear the truth in my words.
“I want to make myself perfectly clear. Let’s start with you.
Do you think if I’d known you were here I could have stayed away?
Add in a child, and I’d have been here with you in a heartbeat.
Now that I do know, wild horses couldn’t drag me away. ”
“You can’t know that from a few days here, Tyler. We’re strangers now.”
“Maybe we are strangers, but if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to remedy that.”
Finally, her gaze flickers to mine, a modicum of relief in her expression. I bump my shoulder against hers and she cracks a smile.
“Hey. Listen to me. We’ll figure this out, yeah? We’ll tell Abby and figure it out together—you and me.”
Jo’s smile falls from her face. “About that. Can we give it a minute before we tell her? Everything is happening so fast and I need some time with it.”
While I hate the idea of putting this off, I have to trust Jo knows what she’s doing. I don’t know the first thing about teenage girls, so maybe this is the right move. Not wanting to overwhelm her by pressing too much too soon, I’ll leave the ball in her court for how to approach this with Abby.
“I’ll follow your lead, but like I said, we’ll figure this out.”
Jo’s face still looks doubtful, but she nods anyway and we sit, letting the unseasonably warm night air rustle the trees around us. After all these years of wanting things I never thought I’d have, lo and behold, I’m a father. Absolutely clueless how to take on this role, but a father, nonetheless.
Silence settles between us, heavy with everything I’ve missed.
Thirteen birthdays. Thirteen Christmas mornings.
You’d think there’d be some kind of instinct—a tug in the chest, a shift in the universe—when someone with your very DNA comes into the world.
Something that would’ve alerted me to go looking for her.
Instead, I sit blindsided with years of catching up to do.
“And what about Jay? Who’s his dad?” I ask, breaking the silence.
Jo huffs a sardonic laugh. “Not even worth the oxygen it would take to explain. I’d give anything if he was poof”—she snaps her fingers—“gone.”
Damn. She’s raised two kids on her own. I have so many more questions about our daughter, Jay, and their lives here.
“And what’s our daughter’s full name?”
Jo’s smile is tender when she peers up at me. “Abigail Nicole Thomas.”
I nod, testing the name for myself. “Abigail Nicole Thomas. It’s beautiful,” I say. “You’ve done a wonderful job.”
Later, I’m in the kitchen helping Jo pack up her dishes and overhear Jay chattering away to his very distracted mom, tapping her on the arm over and over and over again.
“Mom. Mom. Mother.”
Jo finally snaps, realizing he’s trying to get her attention. “What Jay, what?”
Undeterred by her tone, Jay keeps talking. “Austin and that other man, Mr. Kent, said it’s gonna be warm tomorrow. Can Tyler come play basketball with me? He said he used to play.”
Her eyes cut to mine, questioning, then back to him. “Jaybird. I’m sure Tyler has lots of things to do tomorrow.”
Jay looks over at me. “Tyler, do you have things to do tomorrow?”
I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. While I know nothing about a teenage girl, maybe I can handle a kid who loves basketball.
“Actually, my day is completely empty.”
Jay’s face splits into a grin so big I can see where he’s missing a couple of teeth, and his head whips up to his mom.
“Mom, he said his day is empty.”
“I heard him, Jay.” Jo raises an eyebrow at me, smirking with a look that says I see what you’re doing, but there’s warmth behind it when she turns back to her son.
“Tyler can shoot hoops with you.”
Jay’s face lights up as Jo lifts a finger. “But Jaybird. Tyler’s a busy man. You can’t rope him into playing ball every day. Understood?”
“Yep.”
Jo’s eyes go wide, and Jay corrects himself. “Yes, ma’am.”
“How about after lunch?” I offer.
“Yes!” Jay punches the air and heads out to the car, with Abby trailing behind him.
Standing in place, I watch Abby head outside, still stunned I’m a father to that kid. Jo must sense where my mind is, because she hangs back while the kids hop in the car.
Feeling her eyes on me, I pull my focus away from the kids to look at Jo.
“She looks so much like you, Tyler. I’ve got a feeling she acts like you, too.
” Jo looks at me, her face is lit up with the first full smile so far, and damn if it isn’t the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all night.
She does so much for so many, her kids, her friends, her students.
When we were in the living room I even overheard snippets of something about her grandmother. So who is taking care of her?
“Would it be weird if I hugged you?” I ask.
Jo tilts her head, chewing the corner of her lip. “Only if we make it weird.” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “But I think I’d like a hug.”
Pulling her into my arms, I tuck her under my chin, burying my face in her hair.
I don’t even care if she hears the deep inhale I take, breathing her in.
Her arms go round my waist and she rests her head against my chest. She’s soft and warm, and just like I assumed, her body still fits perfectly against mine.
I’m sure if she listens closely enough, she’d hear my pounding heartbeat.
Holding her tight, I revel in this moment of contact we share.
Hopefully it’s as much comfort to her as it is to me.
She ends the hug, sliding both hands down my arms and slowly she takes a step backward.
“See ya tomorrow, Tyler.” She offers a soft smile and a little finger wave.
“See ya, Jo. And like I said, we’ll figure this out.”
She heads for her car, but I don’t join my family right away.
Yes, I have questions to answer after Jo and I mysteriously disappeared to the porch.
Austin won’t let it go until he knows what’s going on, so I better get it over with in one fell swoop.
But for now I step outside and stand in the driveway under the glow of the security light, watching her taillights disappear down the road.
Overwhelmed and emotionally drained from information overload, I head back inside where Austin and Penny wait in the kitchen. They follow me to the living room where my family sits, awaiting an explanation.
Austin drags a chair from the kitchen, and I sit down heavily, elbows braced on my knees, my head collapsing into my open palms. Heaving a great lungful of air, I let it out slowly.
“Fourteen years ago, I came to Alabama with my roommate, Jason. His cousin was graduating from the university about thirty minutes from here, and they dragged me to a frat party.” Slowly, I lift my head and scan the faces of my family.
There’s confusion, curiosity, and a bit of amusement on Austin and Cassie’s faces.
Austin’s eyebrows lift in surprise, and my dad lets out a low chuckle. I’m sure they’re probably picturing how out of place I would’ve been at a frat party. I’ve gotten better over the years, thanks to Austin’s career. But back then? Crowds, loud music, and drunk strangers? That was not for me.
“I was in the library reading—”
“Of course you were,” Cassie interjects with a smirk.
“Yeah. And then this girl bursts in. She was…” I chuckle.
“She was impossible to ignore. There was an energy about her I can’t explain.
Like a magnetic force drawing me in.” One corner of my mouth lifts, remembering Jo barging in, all color and energy.
“She sat down and kept on talking until I closed my book and talked back.”
Austin, Penny, and Cassie all laugh. Clearly, this side of Jo is familiar to them. It occurs to me Austin and Cassie probably know a lot about her and her kids.
“Son, what does this all have to do with you and Josie abruptly going outside earlier?” my mom asks gently.
My eyes land on Penny’s and she gives me a tiny reassuring nod. I guess she already knows.
“Mom, did you notice anything familiar about Abby?”
“Holy shit,” Austin blurts out. “Is she—”
Penny elbows Austin in the ribs. He stretches his legs out in front of him, feet crossed at the ankles, a smirk on his face.
“I’m Abby’s father.”
Mom’s eyes glisten with tears, and Cassie jumps up, returning seconds later with a box of tissues. I go on to tell them about the note, the rain the next day, how she tried to find me, and eventually gave up.
“Did you know anything about me?” I ask, turning to Penny.
She shakes her head. “No. When we first met there was something about you I couldn’t quite place.
The minute you laid eyes on Josie the other day I pieced it together, though.
For Josie to be so loud, she can also be incredibly private at times.
She never even said your name. Only that it happened.
By the time I moved back here, she was dealing with her divorce from Chad.
Josie was focused on being a single mom of two kids and keeping things afloat financially. I knew not to press.”
Chad. Jay’s dad’s name is Chad. A momentary flare of jealousy and anger rips through me at the thought that another man helped raise my child, but I force it down. There’s nothing I can do about that. I’m here now—and that’s what matters.
“So, what now?” Austin asks. “What do you two plan on doing?”
“We haven’t gotten that far. Jo said she needs time to think through telling Abby. We’ll work something out, though. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”
My family falls silent, and I catch Penny eyeing me.
“What?” I ask.
She puffs her cheeks out on a sigh. “This won’t be easy, Tyler. You need to know that. Josie’s expectations for men are appallingly low. She’ll expect you to let her and the kids down. Believe me when I say you’ll have to work for this.”
My jaw tightens and my nostrils flare. What kind of men has she had in her life to make her feel that way?
Clearly, I have tons of catching up to do, but I’m a quick learner.
There’s plenty of negative a person could find within me, and they probably wouldn’t have to look too hard to find it either.
But they’d also find a man who means what he says and says what he means. Now to convince Jo.
“I’m not them,” I say firmly.
Penny smiles and slowly shakes her head. “No, you’re not. I’m just saying, Josie’s as stubborn as they come. But I promise, she and those kids are worth it.”
Jo was right when she said we’re strangers now, but if she’s anything like the girl I met all those years ago, the girl I’ve imagined, my gut tells me she’s only gotten better with age.
And to parent our daughter together? That would absolutely be worth whatever work I have to put into being part of their lives. Whatever that looks like.