13. Grant
THIRTEEN
GRANT
I’m hot. Hot and surprisingly sweaty. And…deeply content?
It takes my morning brain about ten seconds to fully wake up and realize that the extra warmth surrounding me is from Lila’s body tucked up against mine. My arm is wrapped around her, my hand dipped into the top of her sleeping bag to rest against her upper back. Her face is almost pressed against mine, her fingers twisted in my shirt.
I shift so I can see her better. She’s still wearing my green knit hat, a fact that makes all of my nerve endings stop and pay attention. She’s stunning like this, completely peaceful. I move my hand from her back to capture one of her braids, running my thumb over the plait.
This is just temporary. It can’t last. Even if I weren’t going home in a few weeks, this bubble Lila and I are in would burst one way or another. Still…I’m growing fond of the bubble.
If I were smart, I would extract myself from her death grip on my shirt and escape the tent. Make some coffee and let us start the day free of awkwardness. I guess I’m not that smart. Nothing’s going to get me out of this position but her .
I breathe her in. Despite her fears the other day, there’s nothing unpleasant in her scent. If I knew it wouldn’t wake her, I would lean even closer and fill my lungs with her.
Way to keep things firmly on the awkward side of the line.
Eventually, she stirs, and instead of pulling away from me, she burrows deeper. Her hand in my shirt pulls me closer, her cheek grazes mine. I make a sound. It might be a groan, I can’t say for sure. But that’s what finally shakes her from sleep.
Where I woke up piece by piece, she wakes all at once. Her eyes fly open wide just a few inches from mine. She releases my shirt like it’s on fire. Then, she covers her face with her hands and rolls until she’s facing away from me.
“Grant!” Her hands muffle her miserable moan. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to do that!”
Not going to lie—an apology is the last thing I want right now. All I want is her, back in my arms. Immediately. It’s this, even more than her embarrassment, that pulls me from the spell her snuggles had me under.
“It’s okay, Lila.” I sit up and run my fingers through my hair. Sleeping in my clothes had seemed the most convenient option last night, but it isn’t the best look this morning. “I was about to go get breakfast.”
“Right, just as soon as I finished pawing you.” She drags her hands down her face, then rubs at her mouth. “Ugh, I’ve been drooling, too . ”
“I didn’t see any drool.”
She rolls enough to cut her eyes to mine. “We’re going to pretend this morning never happened, right?”
I pause a beat. “Sure. You want some tea?”
Her eyebrows tug together like she’s about to ask me why I’m so unbothered again. The truth is, I’m completely bothered. No way on earth can I pretend this morning never happened. Waking up with her in my arms is burned into my memory. I’d like to relive it again, as soon as conveniently possible.
But since she’s already asking me to forget about it, I need coffee. Breakfast. Anything to get me out of this tent.
“No, thanks. I’ll just…” She looks around the tiny space. Finding nothing to occupy her, she sags deeper into her sleeping bag. “I need five more minutes.”
“Is this hurkle-durkling?”
“Half hurkle-durkling, half dying of embarrassment.”
“You don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.”
She laughs. “I practically drooled on your face.”
“Very few men would complain about that.”
She makes a sound like an angry bear cub and swings her hand over her shoulder, shooing me away. “Go get your coffee. Let me drown in regret.”
“That hurts, princess.” That word pinches something deep in my chest, but she doesn’t need to know I mean it literally. Certain words and phrases become sore spots when you’ve been left at the altar. Regret . Mistake. I can’t do this .
I love you, but I’m not in love with you.
I shake myself out of cataloging my trigger words and climb from the tent, leaving Lila to her regrets. I have none.
But if I stay in here any longer, I just might.
By design, the hike back to the pick-up point is the shortest leg of the trip. Lila gives no indication we woke up in each other’s arms this morning. If anything, I get the feeling she’s trying to distract me by giving voice to every thought that comes into her head. She comments on the clouds of bugs in the air, how lucky it is her hiking boots didn’t give her blisters this week, and her plans for decimating Sunshine’s water supply as soon as she gets home.
“I’m going to take a shower and use up all the hot water. When the tank warms back up, I’m going to do it all over again.” She groans softly. “With soap .”
“Soap? Aren’t you fancy.”
“Then, I’m going to sleep in my comfy, cozy bed. The refrigerator’s ice maker clanging around will be the only spooky sound to keep me awake at night.”
“You’ve been bothered by sounds out here?” It can take a while to get used to sleeping out in the open. I don’t like the idea she was afraid in her tent and never said anything.
“There’s a million things in the woods, and all of them make noise. I only slept well last night because?—”
Her gaze darts to mine. She closes her mouth, clearly rethinking the end of that sentence.
“Because?” I prompt.
She shrugs. “It didn’t feel as spooky when you were there.”
My chest puffs up as though I actually defended her from wild animals.
When we reach the parking lot we started from a few days ago, the Horizon Hikes twelve-seater van already waits for us. A teenage girl jumps out of the driver’s side and runs over to hug Deena and Mitchell.
“You’re supposed to be at grandma’s,” Mitchell says.
“I know, but I figured I’d give Curtis a break.” She’s trying to play it cool, but she can’t stop looking over at Lila. “Because I’m such a good employee.”
Deena laughs. “You’re on thin ice, miss.”
The girl puts her hands together, silently pleading.
Mitchell opens the back of the van and helps load our gear while Deena leads her over to us. The teen looks like she might burst from glee .
“Lila, this is our daughter, Skye. She apparently only mostly-legally drove the van here so she could meet you.”
“Oh, wow. I’m flattered you would resort to borderline crime, Skye.” Lila’s wide smile is all warmth, but she works to smooth out the hair that’s escaped from her double braids.
“I’ve been following Genuinely_Lila for years. You’re kind of my idol.” Skye makes a face. “That sounds weird. I’m not a stalker or something. I just really love your style.”
“Thank you. I love yours. Look at that cute top! I’m so jealous.”
Skye beams. “I love the dress you wore to that charity gala last summer. The one with the beadwork in the neckline and all the tiers?”
“The only downside with that dress is my hair caught on the beads all night.” Lila pulls an exaggerated frown. “Would have been better with an updo.”
“I would kill for a dress like that for my graduation party.”
“Please stop saying you would kill for fashion,” Mitchell deadpans as he hefts Shannon’s pack into the van. “It makes me question my parenting.”
Lila looks her up and down. “You can have the dress, if you want. We’re pretty similarly sized.”
Skye doesn’t say anything for a minute, just breathes so fast I start to think she might be hyperventilating.
“Do you mean it?” she finally asks.
“Sure. I’d be honored to know it had a good home.”
“Can I hug you right now?”
Lila laughs. “Of course.”
Everyone else starts piling into the van’s three rows of seats. Skye gives Lila a brutal hug before asking for a selfie, too. Lila’s smile strains at the edges, but she nods and manages a wide one by the time Skye has her phone out.
The ride into town is full of conversation—the couples behind me making plans for dinner in Bend, and Skye recounting for Lila all of her favorite posts. I just listen, fascinated. I have social media, but I don’t do much with it. Lila’s obviously engaged there in a way that encouraged Skye to think of her as a long-distance friend before they ever met in person.
Skye can’t stop grinning and waves her hands in the air as she chatters. Lila smiles along, but there’s an undercurrent of awkwardness here, too. I’ve seen her in enough uncomfortable situations over the last few days to recognize the signs. I’m just curious about the reasons.
When we reach Sunshine and Horizon Hikes, Lila gets a reprieve from Skye’s enthusiasm while we unload our packs and gather our things. Deena wheels out her purple luggage, as shiny as ever.
“Clean clothes.” Lila croons and strokes the bag like she’s been reunited with a pet.
“Thought you’d be happy to see that again,” Deena says. She looks over her shoulder to where Mitchell and Skye are talking. “I hope you don’t feel you have to give Skye a dress in return for this trip. We’ll be totally square with the social media we talked about.”
“Oh, not at all. I have no plans to wear that dress again. If I don’t give it to her, I’ll just wind up donating it. It’s really no trouble.”
Deena still looks skeptical. “If you’re sure. After you’ve had a chance to recover, let’s talk about what you have in mind for the posts. Send me a text, and we’ll arrange something—I typically alternate trips with our other guide.”
“Thank you, I will. Post-shower. And Skye can call me about the dress whenever.”
After saying thank you a few more times, our hiking group winds up on the sidewalk for our own goodbyes .
“Are you sure we can’t tempt you to join us for a drink in Bend tonight?” Scott asks.
“We’d love to pick your brain a little more about your climbs,” Brian adds.
“I appreciate it, but I’ll probably just decompress tonight.”
Scott glances over my shoulder, where Lila is talking with Shannon and Cindy. “Decompress, huh? Good luck with that.”
Their ride share arrives, and the goodbyes become more vigorous before they climb inside and the car pulls away. Lila and I turn to face each other. Her small, genuine smile lights me up.
“I think I owe you a boba tea,” she says.
I’m willing myself not to respond with an overeager Anytime, anywhere , when Mitchell appears at my side. I motion for Lila to give me a minute. She nods and wanders a few feet down the sidewalk to wait.
“We hope you had a good time with us this trip. I know it’s not your usual type of outing, but it’s a thrill to have had you with us.”
I laugh. “I’m not sure I deserve that, but I had the best time.”
In spite of what Mitchell seems to believe, I’m still fully an amateur. I climb because I love it, but nobody’s paying attention to what I do. I don’t think I would enjoy it as much if they did.
“We mostly get young families, and we love them, but it might be a little light for someone who’s not a first-timer. We’d like to offer more adventurous hikes, but we’re still working on expanding our crew.”
“This was exactly what I needed this time around.”
“Glad to hear it. Well, enjoy the rest of your vacation.”
I say goodbye and turn to find Lila standing still as a statue not far from me, staring at the car at the curb in front of her. She looks like someone just offered to take her fishing. A man dressed in tan slacks and a white polo gets out of the car and rounds it until they’re face to face. He slides his aviator sunglasses off and flashes a wide smile like he thinks someone’s taking pictures.
“Josh?” Shock and disgust fill her single syllable.
So. This is the ex-fiancé. Even if she hadn’t told me enough to hate this guy on sight, I’d be halfway there already. He oozes arrogance and unearned superiority.
“Lila. I didn’t expect to see you as soon as I pulled into town. The stars must be in my favor.”
“What are you doing here?”
She doesn’t sound happy to see him. I have no right to care either way, but it’s still satisfying.
“We always talked about me buying property in town—let’s say I’m here on a shopping spree.” His gaze slowly drops from her head to her toes and back. Somewhere on the journey, it turns from lascivious to something less appreciative. “You don’t look so good, Lilabird. Are you sick?”
Lilabird ? I’m ready to grab this guy by his tiny collar and haul him against his car. What kind of pet name is that? There’s some small chance he doesn’t know about her phobia, but watching him for two minutes has me convinced he specifically chose it because he does.
She smooths out the clothes she’s been wearing off and on for days. “I feel great.”
He lifts a skeptical eyebrow. “I heard things have been rough for you since you gave up on us, but I didn’t think it was this bad.”
I’m ready for her to lay into him and shred this guy’s pride, but she doesn’t say anything. She just stares open-mouthed, like she’s at a total loss how to react. She jumped to my defense at the smallest slight back on the trail but can’t seem to find the same grit for herself when faced with her ex?
Apparently, her defensive streak has rubbed off on me. What I’m about to do is massively stupid and ill-advised, but the second it comes to mind, my feet start moving.
When I reach her, I slip an arm around her waist and kiss her temple, nuzzling in. She blinks up at me as if I woke her from a daze.
“Hey, princess.”
Rhett would be so proud.