24. Grant
TWENTY-FOUR
GRANT
I stare at the pair of non-cargo hiking pants and a plain blue button-down shirt I’ve laid out on my bed. They’re not grungy, but they could be a whole lot better. Finding a nicer outfit somewhere in town had seemed unnecessary until this very minute. Lila will certainly be dressed to impress. I’ll look like a chump standing next to her at her sister’s party.
To be fair, there was never much chance of anything else.
I don’t know if I should put the clothes on or not, so I do something I never thought I would: I text a woman a picture of my outfit to get her approval.
Her reply comes in right away.
Lila: You’re going to put them on, right?
Grant: Very funny
Naturally, that gets my thoughts spinning toward all the things we could do without fancy party clothes on. Doesn’t take much incentive lately.
Grant: I can still find something else if you want
I have a couple of hours before I’m supposed to meet her at her place. I might be able to come up with a nicer shirt if I need to.
Lila: I guarantee you the groom-to-be won’t wear anything fancier
Lila: Hope will be lucky if he’s not wearing flannel
Grant: Sounds like my kind of guy
Lila: You two are going to be BFFs
Lila: You’ll talk about expert outdoorsman stuff all night
Grant: Never. I’ll be right by your side all night
Lila: Promises, promises
Lila: See you soon
Another text comes in after hers.
Moonlight Lodge: Grant Irwin has received a package. Please come to the front desk to claim it.
A package sent to me on vacation? The first thing that comes to mind is that Dean forwarded a printout of the monthly sales report just to be a stickler. Unlikely, but in the realm of possibility.
I walk the half mile or so of dirt trail to the lodge. It’s peaceful out here, winding through the pines. Off to the west, a mountain peak looms, and the river serenades me the whole way. I’m not one of those people who gets the urge to move to every place they vacation, but it’s hard not to want to stick around a while in Sunshine.
At the front desk, an older woman talks with a couple who are holding fishing poles and gear. Gray strands streak through her red hair, and I have a strong suspicion this is Charlie and Shepherd’s mother. When she finishes up doling out advice about the best locations on their property to fly fish, she comes closer to me.
She offers a warm smile that I know is her customer service duty, but I still find it comforting. “What can I do for you?”
“I’m Grant Irwin in the Archer cabin. I received a message that you have a package for me.”
“We do. Let me go get it.”
She disappears through a door behind the counter. I’m still trying to figure out who would send me a package to Oregon when someone interrupts my thoughts.
“Irwin? Of the Eastlake Irwins?”
I look to my right to see Josh leaning an elbow on the front desk counter wearing a lazy smile. His expressions run the whole gamut from smug to smirk . Every single one just begs to be wiped off by someone’s fist.
“No.” I turn back to wait for Mrs. Callahan to return. This guy isn’t worth getting worked up over. Even if the memory of the things he said to Lila’s face the other day make me want to teach him a lesson in manners.
“Hey, no hard feelings, all right?” he says. “I hope you’ll be able to make Lila happy. It isn’t an easy job.”
His laughter has my hands balling into fists.
“She’s beautiful, but high maintenance.” He just doesn’t know when to quit.
“Was she? Or did you just not want to put in the effort?”
“Oh, I put in the effort. It was never enough for her. I just hope she doesn’t leave you at the altar like she did me.” He taps the counter twice. “Good luck.”
He walks away, leaving me with my chest caving in.
I pace my small cabin, the package I’d gone to retrieve unopened on the bed. My brain is a tangle of Josh’s smarmy warning on repeat, my stomach an ever-tightening knot. Lila wouldn’t have done that. Couldn’t have.
Would she?
The man is a slimeball through and through. She’s admitted it took him cheating before she finally got the courage to leave. I just have no idea the timeline there. Surely she wouldn’t have waited until their wedding day to call things off.
Some women do, though.
I want to hike, bike, run—anything to escape this ache hollowing me out.
She never described their breakup as leaving him at the altar. But would she? Would anyone willingly admit to doing something like that? She has a hard time admitting tough truths to people. I don’t think she would lie about it, but would she simply avoid telling me?
I sit down hard on the bed. I’ve done exactly that—I haven’t told her about my past, either. I can’t be upset with her for potentially glossing over the truth when I haven’t done any better.
Next to the package, my clothes still wait on the bed, ready for me to put them on and meet up with Lila. I drag my fingers through my hair, raking them over my scalp. I’m supposed to pretend to be her boyfriend in two hours. Put on a big show for her family and friends .
So far, I haven’t had to act in this fake dating scenario, but tonight, I just might.
I rip open the package that led to all of this. There’s no note, but it doesn’t need one.
It’s a bright red T-shirt with bold script that says Do the Stupid Thing .
Maybe I am.
Twenty minutes later, I stand outside Lila’s apartment door. I texted asking if I could come by early, and she’d agreed. But now that I’m here, I don’t know if I’m ready for this conversation. I don’t want whatever we say to ruin what we have.
But I know well enough that not talking doesn’t solve anything.
Ready or not, I knock.
She pulls the door open, and I physically cannot draw in a breath for several seconds while I stare like my last two brain cells have fainted dead away.
Lila’s stunning. A soft, floral dress flows around her like a pink and orange cloud. Her hair is slightly curled, and a hint of makeup accentuates her cheeks and eyes. I want to stand here for a day to drink in the sight of her. I want to bend down and kiss her glossy lips. I breathe deep, and that sweet but spicy scent I’d caught on her before fills my lungs.
“You look magnificent,” I finally say. Because even though my stomach feels like a credit card stuck halfway through a paper shredder, I can’t say anything else.
Her smile is both a shot of adrenaline to my heart and a punch straight to my gut.
“Thank you. Come on in. It’s kind of…” She waves me inside. “Well, it is what it is, and it’s not great. ”
Her apartment is a brick-walled studio with high windows facing Maple Street. She’s got a small outdated kitchenette, a cozy gray sofa, and several bookshelves. Her bed is plush with pillows and a hunter green throw blanket.
The insane thought that her blanket exactly matches the color of Irwin Outdoors’ employee vests rattles through my brain. Is that kismet or some kind of cosmic torture?
“Look at you.” She shuts the door behind her and moves to face me. “See? Your outfit options turned out great.”
I run my hands over my shirt as if I can iron it with their clamminess. “Yeah. Thanks.”
A little crease mars her forehead. “Is everything okay?”
Yes. Everything except I’m having severe déjà vu from my worst nightmare.
“Not entirely. I need to talk with you.”
She sobers instantly. Maybe she has a collection of dreads of her own. “Okay. Do you want to sit down?”
We move to the sofa, where I’m entirely too close to her, but I can’t very well get back up and loom over her while I stand.
“Do you remember our conversation when we were stargazing in the woods?”
Pink washes over her cheeks. “Yes. We talked about our breakups.”
“We did. But I wasn’t entirely honest with you about mine.”
She goes stiff, and I can tell I’m messing this up already. I need to just dive into the deep end.
“The relationship that blindsided me? We were engaged, too. But she didn’t end things until the day of the wedding.”
“Oh, Grant.” Lila wraps a hand around mine. “I’m so sorry.”
I don’t talk about this. Mostly, because everyone in Magnolia Ridge already knows. There’s nothing for me to explain. Even with my brothers, it’s not a thing we discuss. They lived through it with me, they know the ins and outs. It’s hard to know where to start.
“Kelsey and I had friends in common and similar interests. It’d seemed…natural that we would wind up together. But both of us were just ignoring the truth.” In a word, I’d been Rhett’s favorite thing: stupid. Avoiding arguments doesn’t mean a relationship is working. And feeling like you should be with someone isn’t the same as having a bone deep need to. “I’d bought us a house, everything was ready…and then Kelsey never showed up to the church.”
I can’t even remember how I felt getting ready that day. Joy? Anticipation? It’s all been blurred out by the sick, sinking sensation when one of the bridesmaids took me aside to break the news.
Lila wraps an arm around my shoulders, her hand on mine tightening almost painfully. It’s oddly comforting.
“Grant. I had no idea.”
“I don’t like bringing it up.” People in Magnolia Ridge have blessed my heart so many times, I should be invincible.
She rubs her hand over my back. “Did she ever apologize to you?”
“Not quite. Eventually, she got in touch. Admitted she realized she wasn’t in love with me and couldn’t go through with it.” The worst part might have been when she told me I wasn’t really in love with her, either. It’d felt like a parting shot, but now I know she was right.
“Grant. That was so wrong of her. You deserve better than that.” She gets quiet. “Is that why you don’t like your house? Because it was for the two of you?”
“It reminds me of my mistakes.”
“They weren’t your mistakes. They were hers.”
I’d like to indulge that belief, but I shake my head. “We both screwed up. She could have had better timing, but we’re better off this way.”
“She should have been honest with you, face to face, and dealt with the fallout. That’s a horribly selfish thing to do.”
I flip my hand over to hold hers tight. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry this Kelsey treated you that way. She’s unbearably stupid for letting you go.”
I try to hide my smile. She’s so certain in her defense of me. “Josh was stupid to ever think to cheat on you.”
And stupid to toss out that lie about her leaving him at the altar. Whatever he does with apps and software, his greatest skillset seems to be manipulation.
“We were both with absolute buffoons,” she says. “We need to make better choices in the future.”
“No question.”
“Can I hug you?”
“Please.”
She ducks under my arm and cuddles into me. I hold her tight, banishing every last regret about Kelsey. If things had gone down any other way, I wouldn’t be here holding Lila in my arms. And nothing’s worth losing that.
Our breathing slows until our lungs move in time, matching each other’s pace. I run a hand along her bare shoulder, marveling at her soft skin. Really, it’s her big, soft heart I’m in awe of. I don’t know if I’ll be able to let her go when my time here ends.
I do love a challenge, but giving Lila up might be the hardest one I’ve faced yet.
Eventually, she pulls back, keeping her arms lightly around me. “I need to say something.”
I brace myself. “Okay.”
“You deserve to be top priority in someone’s life. ”
I swallow hard, but I can’t look away from her brown eyes blazing into mine.
“I’m mad at your parents for not putting you and your brothers first in their lives when you needed them most. And I’m furious with that woman who walked away without a word and left you to pick up the pieces.”
My sweet, soft-hearted paladin, ready to take out my enemies for me. One of her hands takes hold of mine again.
“You, Grant Irwin, should be someone’s whole world.”
More clearly than ever, I want that someone to be her.