Chapter 20
chapter twenty
Wendy
Itoss and turn for three hours before I give up. Thoughts of Carter has me longing for him. Ever since Adam arrived, I’ve felt uneasy like my two worlds are colliding.
At five a.m., I roll out of bed and go downstairs to start a pot of coffee.
Rose hasn’t arrived yet, and my grandma is still in her bungalow.
The smell of coffee drifts through the kitchen, and I glance out the window, seeing it’s still dark.
I pour two mugs, then make my way up the stairs toward Carter’s room.
I balance the two mugs by their handles and lightly knock on his door before entering.
Carter sits on the edge of the bed with circles under his eyes.
“You look like shit,” I tell him.
I hand him a cup of coffee, and he takes it.
The room smells like him. I sit beside him, not knowing if he wants me there or not. I don’t care.
“I want to talk about yesterday,” I say, blowing on my coffee.
“Which part?”
“The I don’t know.”
Carter watches me and doesn’t say a word.
“Five years is a long time to spend with someone,” I say. “He knows my weaknesses and that I’ve waited months for him to come to me. But that’s not the same thing as him having a chance. I need you to understand that.”
“I want you to be happy,” he says. “I can’t ask you to stay either.”
I close my eyes, hating how he’s repeating that back to me.
He rubs the back of his neck, staring at the floor. His jaw tightens, and he looks toward the balcony. “I’m not threatened by him.”
“You are.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
My breath catches. “Carter.”
He doesn’t touch me, but we’re close enough that I can feel his body heat. We sit there while the sky outside starts to lighten and the birds swoop over the water.
“We need to talk,” he says. “Once he leaves and I know your decision.”
I turn toward him. “I’m not giving him a chance.”
“Maybe you should.” His hands grip the mug. “I don’t want to be with someone who’s still thinking about their ex. Either you’re with me or you’re not.”
“Carter—”
“I told you I don’t share, Wendy. That even includes up here.” He taps on his temple and stands from the mattress. “You need to figure it out.”
He’s right.
“I will,” I tell him. “Adam being here doesn’t change what this is.”
“It does. And it cuts into the time I have left with you.” Carter looks at me, and the expression on his face tells me he’s not happy. Not anymore. It’s a complete change from last night. “Going for a run.”
He gulps more of the coffee and sets the half-drunk cup on his nightstand. After his shoes are on, he’s gone. I exhale.
I take both mugs back downstairs and wash them in the sink. I stare out the kitchen window while the sky turns pink over the water.
Carter’s right, and I hate that he’s right because “figure it out” isn’t something a fling says. A fling says it’s cool, whatever happens. Carter just told me to choose, and the fact that I can’t give him a clean answer is a problem.
By seven, Rose is in the kitchen, and the griddle is hot.
She’s making blueberry pancakes today, and the batter smells like sweet vanilla.
I pour fresh coffee in my mug and then balance yesterday’s receipts from the fundraiser.
We made six thousand dollars, which is incredible, but it’s only enough to keep us going for another month.
With Carter’s reservation, we’ll survive through September.
This keeps the doors open through October.
It’s a cushion that I’m grateful for even if it’s not enough to survive the off-season.
At exactly seven thirty, Birdie walks in with Bitsy Havenbrook behind her, who’s carrying Tupperware that smells like banana bread. Bitsy is Luke’s grandma. And Luke? Well, that’s Mia’s best friend, and I honestly don’t know what the hell is going on between them.
“Hi, Bitsy! Been a while since I’ve seen you,” I say, pouring more coffee.
“Sweetie, I’ve been here; you’ve just been occupied these last few weeks.”
“Good morning, dear,” Birdie says, claiming her usual seat. “Wonderful party last night. Who was that handsome man who showed up during the fireworks?”
“Adam,” I say.
“Heard he was staying in the Coral Room,” Lucille adds.
“Is he your ex?” Birdie asks, just as Adam walks into the dining room.
He’s dressed in slacks and a button-up shirt, like he has a business meeting in five minutes. His cologne takes me back to when we first started dating. I hate that it triggers good memories.
“Good morning,” he says.
His smile goes to the Bees first, and then his eyes find mine. I slowly exhale because Adam looks like the man I fell in love with all those years ago.
“Sit, sit.” Birdie pulls out the chair next to her. “Rose made blueberry pancakes. They’re incredible.”
I swear they pull this with every eligible bachelor who enters this building.
Adam sits and compliments the food before he takes a bite.
Gran comes in from the back door. “Adam, sweetheart, did you sleep well?”
The interrogation is coming. It always does.
“Best I’ve slept in months, Mrs. Winslow. The Coral Room is beautiful. That driftwood mirror is stunning. The craftsmanship to build something of that size? It’s impressive.”
“My late husband made that.” Gran beams. “Pulled the wood from the beach. A lot of the decorations are repurposed from the beach. The good ole days.”
I set my mug down harder than I meant to. Gran glances at me, and her eyebrows lift.
Carter comes through the front door from his run, sweaty and breathing hard. His eyes move from Adam at the table with Gran to me behind the counter. He goes upstairs.
Adam watches him, then returns to his conversation, laughing.
“I’m going to check on the upstairs rooms and restock towels,” I announce to no one. I can’t sit here and listen to this for another damn minute.
Instead of going upstairs, I walk outside. I escape to the backyard and stand in the garden behind the bungalow. I try not to spiral as I pace back and forth.
“I don’t share, Wendy. That even includes up here.”
He was talking about Adam being in my head, taking up space in my mind and heart. I suck in a deep breath, needing my pulse to stop racing. This is too much at once.
Carter stays upstairs most of the afternoon. Eventually, he comes downstairs with a baseball cap on and heads to the beach. He passes within three feet of me and says nothing. He’s not being cold, just indifferent. Adam seems to notice too.
“Trouble in paradise?” Adam asks from the porch while I water the hanging baskets.
“Excuse me?”
Adam leans against the railing with his arms crossed. “I saw the way he looked at you, Wen, I haven’t been with anyone since us. I’ve been waiting—”
“Don’t do that.”
He exhales. “I always knew that you were the one for me, Wendy. Life without you isn’t the same, and I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you.”
He reaches for me, and I pull away from him.
“You don’t get to show up and apologize and expect things to go back to where they were, Adam.”
“Who are you?”
“The woman I was before we met.” It’s harsh, but it’s also the truth. When I was with him, parts of me were erased.
My grandmother calls my name, and I walk away from him.
The rest of Saturday bleeds into Sunday, and Adam settles into the B&B like he belongs. He eats breakfast with the Bees and walks with Gran on the beach. He even tries to be friendly with Josie and Mia, who blow him off like he’s an inconvenience.
Gran finds me in the dining room, folding napkins. She pulls the chair out next to mine and sits. I run my thumb along the crease.
“Wendy, Adam regrets letting you go. He said it was the biggest mistake of his life and he’s here to make it right.”
“Of course he did.”
“A man doesn’t fly across the country for nothing. He’s fighting for you.”
“I don’t need anyone to fight for me.” My voice is steady, but I’m annoyed.
“I don’t need rescuing, Gran. I left everything in California.
My job, my salary, along with him. I wanted to try long distance, and he selfishly said no.
He didn’t choose me first. I don’t want to be with someone who isn’t willing to try. It’s too late.”
Gran studies me. “I’m not saying you need rescuing, sweetheart.”
“Sounds like it. He shows up with an apology, and suddenly, everyone is painting this as a love story. It’s not.” My fingers interlock. “Nobody has come to save me. I’m saving myself.”
Her face softens. “I didn’t know the details. You never told me what happened between you two. But five years is a long time to waste.”
“Tell that to him.”
She reaches over and takes my hand. “You know what’s best for you. I’ll respect that.”
“Thank you. For once.”
“But for the record,” she says, smoothing her hand over her blouse, “we are not removing you from our matchmaking list.”
“You’re pissing me off.”
“You gotta live a little, kid.” She looks at me over her reading glasses. “Have fun before you’re an old lady like me. And then have even more.”
Later that night, I sit on my bed, staring at the wall that separates me from Adam’s room. Carter has barely spoken to me in two days. He’s pulled away to give me space, but it’s the last thing I want from him. I grab my phone and text him.
Wendy
Come see me.
I stare at the text message, seeing it’s delivered. I wait for a response, but nothing comes.
Wendy
Please?
A ragged breath releases from me as I lock my phone. Two seconds later, the doorknob twists open. Carter steps inside with his arms crossed. He pulls his phone out and texts me back.
Banks
We can’t talk here.
I hold his gaze.
Wendy
I choose you.
Carter reads the message and fails to hold back his smile that’s so damn contagious. He tiptoes across the floor and sits on the edge of my bed. His hand slides up my neck, and he leans in to whisper in my ear, “I choose you more.”
He kisses me, and it’s slow and possessive as his hands drift up my back. He lays me back on the bed and moving his hands under my ass, bringing me to the edge.
Carter carefully peels off my shorts and panties, then drops to his knees to worship me. I bite my bottom lip, the tension in my body instantly loosens when his mouth is on me. His fingers trace along my hip bone, and his eyes never leave mine.
Two minutes is all it takes before I’m gasping, trying to be quiet, knowing my ex is in the room next door.
Carter places his finger over his lips before he returns between my legs.
I shake my head, smirking. He nods, then dives his face back between my thighs, driving me to the edge again.
I moan and try to cover it with a cough while also simultaneously trying not to laugh.
I come three times before he undresses and gives me his thick cock.
His movements are slow so the springs don’t scream out, and I enjoy every single second. Soon, he’s trembling.
“You belong to me,” he whispers in my ear as he spills inside of me.
At one a.m., he leaves. I’m sore and satisfied, knowing I made the right choice. Adam and I may have history. But Carter and I have passion and an underlying understanding of one another. Not to mention, the sex is incredible.
He said we’d talk after Adam leaves. Hopefully, he wants to tell me that he’s staying past August 3.