Chapter 18 #2
Miss you, big boy. Want to grab dinner this week? I’m headed to New York next month. Would love to chat with you about some business. I have some ideas I want to get your feedback on.
I press my lips together. Why is Talia messaging him?
I look over at him, but he quickly just moves the message off the screen.
He says nothing, but I can feel all my insecurities growing larger and larger.
It sucks. I know Talia fits into his new world in New York a lot better than me, and it’s just a reminder of the fact that I’m part of his old life and this is just a vacation.
Talia fits into his big-city dreams. She understands his world.
I suddenly feel sad.
“Hey, what is wrong?”
“Why is Talia messaging you, and why is she calling you big boy, and what the fuck is she talking about, going to visit you in New York?” I hiss.
“Hey, calm down. You’re being loud,” he says, giving me a look.
“Don’t tell me I’m being loud,” I say even louder, and everyone at the table immediately turns to look at us. “Hey, don’t mind me. Just a couple too many glasses of champagne,” I blurt.
I give everyone a smile, and everyone turns their attention back away from me. Luke just stares at me, his eyes curious.
“I don’t know why she messaged me, Mia.”
“But you know why she called you a big boy?”
“I think we both know why she called me big boy.” He gives me a wink, but I don’t smile or laugh at his stupid joke.
Instead, I feel searing jealousy coursing through me. I feel blindsided because Talia messaged him and he doesn’t care. He’s not dismissing anything. He’s not saying that there’s no way he’s going to meet up with her.
“Do you have feelings for her?” I whisper.
“What?” He stares at me in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
“Do you have feelings for Talia? Is this why she’s been acting so obnoxious to me?”
“Firstly, she’s always been obnoxious, Mia, and secondly, no, I don’t have feelings for her. You know this.”
“Why didn’t you tell me about the skinny-dipping that time? Then what else do I not know about?”
He lets out an inaudible sigh. “We cannot have this conversation here, Mia. We do not want to blow up our entire ruse.”
“All it is right? Just a ruse.”
“It’s not just a ruse.” He presses his lips together. “You know this.”
“Yeah. Well, maybe I don’t.”
I grab another oyster, and I down it quickly, trying to ignore the anger that is coursing through me.
I’m so fed up with Luke just dismissing my concerns like I don’t matter.
Like I am just going to accept whatever crumbs he gives me.
I deserve better than this. From him as a friend, from him in a fake relationship, from him as someone who—
Stop it. Mia, you’re acting crazy, the voice inside of me says, You’re not really his girlfriend. Stop acting like a jealous bitch.
I bite down on my lower lip and turn to Luke. He’s gazing at me with worry and concern.
“Hey, we okay?” he whispers, and I nod.
“You want to dance?”
“We’re in the middle of dinner.”
“The band’s playing over there, and there are a couple of other people dancing.”
“We can’t.”
“I can,” he says as he grabs my hand. “Excuse us. We’re just going to the dance floor for one dance. Mia loves this song,” he says as he pulls me toward the small floor.
“Everyone is going to look at us.”
“Let them look,” he says.
We look away from the table, and Rex is staring over at us with narrowed eyes.
“He’s so mad right now,” Luke says almost gleefully as he pulls me into his arms.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m just letting everyone know that you’re mine,” he says.
He leans down and kisses me passionately.
I wrap my arms around his neck as we sway back and forth, his lips pressing against mine.
His body feels warm and hard against mine, and it’s like time has stood still.
I forget about my jealousy. I forget about my insecurities.
I forget about everything, but being in his arms, it feels like magic.
I don’t want the moment to end, but finally, he pulls away from me, and we just dance.
“That kiss was everything,” he says, his eyes gleaming as he stares down at me.
He turns to look back at the table, and there’s a wicked grin on his face.
“What is it?” I say.
“Rex was watching the entire thing.” He turns back to me with a wicked smile. “This is going exceptionally well, isn’t it, Mia?”
My heart sinks. For a few moments, I thought everything was real.
When he kissed me and we danced, I thought he was in the moment, like I was, that he’d sensed that I was upset and annoyed and jealous and he wanted to make it right, but this is just all about one-upping his brother and ensuring that our fake relationship is a success.
It has nothing to do with any genuine emotions that he has for me.
It just has to do with the fact that he has to one-up his brother because Luke has always felt inferior.
He’s always been trying to prove himself.
“I think today has been a success, don’t you?”
I look up at him and just nod slowly. I don’t really know what to say. When he kisses me lightly on the forehead, it just confirms to me that all he really thinks about me is that I’m his friend.
I’m his friend with benefits, but nothing more.
All the hopes and dreams burning inside of me, underneath the surface, are in my head, and I need to remember that.
I need to remember that I can’t get carried away.
This isn’t real. Luke isn’t feeling the things that I am feeling.
This isn’t a romance book. This is true life, and we both know what we are doing, what the stakes are.
I just need to remind myself that he is just my friend, and it is never going to be anything else.