Chapter 24 #2
“Which led us to making love,” he corrects, a soft look in his eyes.
“You really think we made love?”
“I know I made love to you. Did you not make love to me?”
“Oh, I totally fucked you, Luke. I bounced up and down on you like you were a cowboy. I was riding in the Wild, Wild West.”
He starts laughing. “Well, cowgirl, are you ready to go again?”
“I think so. Are you ready for me to ride you all night long?”
He grabs my hand and pulls me into him.
“But we’ve got a lot to discuss, don’t we?” I say, because this feels too complicated, too real, too emotional.
“Yeah. There’s something I want to tell you.”
“What?”
“I love you, Mia.”
“What?” My heart stills, but I laugh because I’m not sure I heard him correctly. He doesn’t mean he loves me, for real, does he?
“I love you. For real, for real,” he says, gazing at me with such an intense expression that I know he’s not lying. “I love you more than the stars in the sky.”
“We don’t know how many stars there are in the sky.”
“Exactly,” he says and smiles. “And I love that you are fearless, and I love that you’re emotional, and I love that we just get each other.
And even when we fight and we argue, we’re still able to come back to each other.
And you’re making me really nervous right now,” he adds, suddenly unsure of himself.
“What do you mean?”
“You haven’t said anything back to me.”
I stare at him and touch the side of his face. “You want me to tell you how I feel?”
“I kind of do,” he says.
I lean in and give him a big kiss, and then I step back.
“I kind of think I love you too, Luke.”
The words seem lame compared to his declaration, but there’s something in me that’s holding back.
“Oh, you think you love me?” he says, looking extremely disappointed.
“I am just scared. I don’t know that we’re compatible to be in a relationship together.
” I bite down on my lower lip. “I think you’re great.
You’re my best friend, and I love making love to you.
But your number one love in life is your job and proving yourself, and you are doing amazing at that.
And I don’t want to hold you back from that, but I don’t want to be sitting in the wings, waiting for you to get to where you want to get in your career.
“I want to be the number one. I want to be the first choice. I want to be the person who means more than anything else. And knowing you as I know you, your career and that upward trajectory have always been the most important thing. But it hasn’t been me ever.
“Remember when we were in high school and I asked you to stay? You left. You left because you needed to prove yourself to Rex. And I don’t think you’ve finished proving yourself yet.
There’s still that tension between you two, and I don’t want to be the person who stops you from achieving those dreams and goals. ”
“You’re not though, Mia—”
“I’m just saying that, sometimes, love isn’t enough.
And you’re the best friend a girl could ever have, and I don’t want to lose that.
And we’re arguing all the time, and we’re not agreeing on things.
And you’re not seeing my side, and I’m not seeing your side.
And we’ve never had that before. And I think if we continue to go down this road, there’s a genuine possibility that our friendship could end.
I don’t want our friendship to end. I don’t want us to end. ”
“I know. Neither do I.”
“And that’s why I don’t think we should continue.”
“So, what are you saying? You want to end this fake relationship?”
“No. What I’m saying is, I want to keep this fake relationship for the summer, and then we go our own way.
I don’t think we should make it real—even though we love each other.
I’d much rather have you as my best friend for the rest of my life than my boyfriend for a year and then we break up and never talk again.
I couldn’t live without being able to call you at any time of the day. ”
“But you don’t mind being the crazy best friend?”
“I’ve never minded being the crazy best friend. You know that.”
“What can I do to convince you this is more than friendship, Mia?”
“I just don’t think that we’re compatible, Luke.” I step on my tiptoes and kiss him. “Doesn’t mean I don’t love you. Doesn’t mean I don’t crave you. Doesn’t mean I don’t want to feel you inside of me.”
He groans against my lips. “You can’t say things like that and tell me you don’t want to be with me, Mia.”
“I’m just being honest with you, Luke. I think that’s what we’ve always had, and that’s what we need to keep. We need to be honest. And the fact is, I want to take you up to the hotel room right now and sit on your face and have you make me come.”
“Fuck,” he says, reaching behind and squeezing my ass.
He pushes me up against the wall, and I groan as he runs his fingers down the side of my dress. He shifts next to me, and I feel him pressed up against me. He kisses the side of my neck and then sucks on my lower lip. I feel his hand on my breast, squeezing.
He stares me in the eyes. “You’re not the only one that loves our intimate moments.
I would fuck you right here and right now, Mia, but it’s not just about the raw passion.
It’s about what I feel when I’m inside of you—that closeness, that magic, that connection.
My cock was made for your pussy. I want to live in your pussy.
Do you hear me? I love you, and I will convince you that we are meant to be and we are compatible. ”
He groans as he presses his lips against mine.
This is about us becoming one, and I want to believe him.
I want to tell him that I want that, too, but I realize he hasn’t responded to the one thing that’s holding me back.
He hasn’t told me I come before his job.
He hasn’t told me I am number one, that I matter more.
And it breaks my heart because I know the reason he hasn’t told me is that he can’t lie to me.
Because it’s not true.
And I will not go the rest of my life being number two to his job. I can’t. I deserve better, and he deserves someone that’s okay with that.
I reach down and squeeze his cock. “Well, I think if you want to do something naughty, I can do it too.”
“Are you sure?” he says in a hoarse voice.
“Well, I don’t mean right here, right now because anyone could walk out—including our grandparents—and I don’t really want to give anyone a heart attack.”
He chuckles slightly as he pulls back away from me.
“Then let’s go up to the room because I want to make love to you, darling Mia. I want to make you come a million different ways, and then I want to lick every single drop off of you.”
“Keep sweet-talking me, bad boy,” I say, grinning at him.
He just shakes his head. “This is absolutely insane.”