Chapter 18
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
RICH
Everything in my world was almost perfect. I lay there curled up with Lucy, satisfied because of me. But as much as I was enjoying having her there, I had to confront the reality of the situation.
I didn’t want to alienate my daughter. She had already had a hard time of it with her mother walking out. Erica had not only left me, but she had walked away from her child as well. A card at Christmas and on her birthday filled with either a gift card or a cheque was the only contact Annie had with her anymore. My heart broke for my daughter, and I couldn’t bear the thought of hurting her even more by her finding out what was happening here.
I knew Lucy wouldn’t like it, but it was the only thing I could think of for now. Annie didn’t need to know about any of this yet. It would be too much for her. Instead, Lucy would have to be my little secret. I tried to put how seedy that made it seem to the back of my mind, it was just something we needed to do. For now, we had to keep it just between us.
Annie texted to say she was on her way home. I still had so much I wanted to talk over with Lucy, but we hadn’t had the chance to yet. I wasn’t sure what to say to her. I didn’t want her to feel I was ashamed of what was happening between us, but I also didn’t want to risk hurting Annie even more than she already had been.
Lucy was sitting, watching me as I gathered myself together. “I’ve been thinking.”
I stopped and looked at her. She looked so unsure of herself, and my heart skipped a beat, worried about what was coming next. “Have you?” I tried to sound casual.
“It happens every once in a while.” She grinned. “I don’t think Annie’s going to like this. But that doesn’t mean I want this to stop. I just think we need to hold back from telling her for now. She’s my best friend and I need to figure out the best way for her to hear this. I mean, we want to keep seeing each other, don’t we?”
I nodded. I wanted to keep seeing Lucy for as long as possible. I thought about what that might mean, and my stomach knotted.
“I think you’re right.” She was saying exactly what I had been thinking. “I don’t want to hurt Annie any more than you do, and I don’t think she’s going to be very happy about this idea. What happens if we break up or something? Do you stop coming around because of that? Does she miss out on her friend over me? I don’t want that, Lucy. I can’t do that to her.”
My voice wavered at the thought, and Lucy stood and wrapped her arms around me. “I don’t want to hurt her either. I couldn’t bear to be without my best friend. We will just have to be careful for now. Our little secret.” She pressed her lips against mine, and all my fears disappeared.
It was a catch-22. I didn’t know if I should be feeling like an asshole for agreeing to lie to my daughter, or if I should be grateful that not only did I have Lucy in my life, but that she was on the same page as me and she wasn’t willing to hurt Annie either. All I could do was hope everything would work out how we wanted it to.